by Ashton Cade
My last visit was brief enough that this time Mom’s made me promise I’ll stay a few weeks. It was a long, tough negotiation. She started high, at a couple months. I had to gently remind my mother that even though I have a job that affords me a lot of freedom to travel and take time off, I do still have a job. One that I’m booked for in a remote village in the Amazon in just a couple of weeks. So that’s my escape plan. Mom doesn’t know about the job yet, but it’s my emergency exit for when the time comes.
And believe me, the time will come.
I love my family, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never fit in. I’ve always wanted to be off on my own, taking pictures, capturing my own moments. In a big family like mine, it’s easy to get lost. Especially when you’re in the middle of everyone. I’m not just the middle kid in my nuclear family, I’m the middle kid of both Rainier families. It’s easy to get lost and forgotten, to be pushed aside without much thought while the older kids are having big milestones and the younger ones are still basking in baby-attention.
But with a camera, I had my own voice—my own point of view. With a camera, I could go out and capture the world the way I saw it.
And in the process, I’m able to collect a thousand moments, a million memories, that are just for me.
My photographs are award-winning and renowned around the world, but I keep the best moments for myself. I bask in the perfect moment before I take the shot. The rest of the world gets something that’s almost perfect, but the real magical moment?
Well, I’m selfish with that. It’s mine and mine alone.
As much as everyone’s been trying to tell me that this place has changed, I’m not seeing proof of it.
Sheryl’s Diner still sits in its prominent place in the middle of town, the roof and fifties-style awning both a faded red the same as I remember. The building is still that rusty red brick that hearkens back to the seventies. It’s a mixture of time periods and neither are flattering, but when you’re the only place in town, curb appeal’s not that important.
Besides, she’s a hell of a cook; no one’s going to argue that.
I’m surprised to see the library’s still in business, though it looks like they’re working on limited hours since it’s a weekday and they’re closed. For years people have been talking about closing it down for good. It’s a wonder it’s survived this long. Guess it’s just as stubborn as the rest of the town.
All the shops are familiar, even if a few of them have undergone a facelift or a change of ownership. Umberland looks the same as it ever has. Dull, uninspiring, suffocating.
How they can be happy in this still life of post-war America, I just don’t know. It’s like time’s forgotten this place. Like Edward Hopper came in, painted this town, and it just was forever more. I kind of want to scream at them. To roll down my window and say, “Don’t you know how much more world there is out there?”
What good would it do though? They’re as set in their ways as I am in mine.
I sigh, shaking my head and tightening my hand on the wheel. I give the town one last look before I head off to my family’s land, my stomach twisting in knots the moment I make the turn. I can already feel my mom smothering me with hugs, my sisters harping on me about my lifestyle and my carefree attitude toward casual flings.
It’s gonna be great. Heavy on the sarcasm there if you couldn’t tell.
There’s a flash out of the corner of my eye, a spot of white like a bird or something, and by the time I have the chance to react, all I can do is slam on the brakes as hard as I can.
The car squeals, smoke burning off the tires as friction melts rubber to the road. I hold my breath, pushing all my weight on the brake pedal, not able to see what caught my eye, and then—
Thump.
My heart drops through the floor just as the car finally comes to a complete stop.
Shit. What was that?
I throw the car in park, hit my flashers, and run out into the street.
“Oh no, oh… Oh no, I’m so sorry,” I mutter, dropping to the ground. There’s a little tan and white dog, a little whip of a thing, and she’s all curled up, whimpering. My intestines twist with guilt and I see she’s got a collar on, so I immediately look up for the irresponsible asshole who let his dog run out into the street without a leash.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” a guy says, running up to me with a strip of leather dangling from his hand. “Don’t you look where you’re going?” he accuses me.
Immediately I’m defensive, but I see the broken leash and realize this isn’t his fault. Shit.
“Come on, I’ll take you to the vet,” I say, ignoring the immediate urge to pick a fight back with him. It’s just the guilt gnawing at me, wanting to put the blame on someone else. I was too busy sightseeing and dreading my own problems to pay attention—that’s why I’m really pissed off right now. Not because of this guy and his broken leash.
“Help me—” The dog whines as soon as I touch her.
“Don’t!” he snaps, making me back off, hands held up.
It’s not like Umberland’s a busy town with a lot of traffic, but there’s only two lanes on this main road through town, and blocking one of them with people going around us is going to cause more problems if we don’t get out of the way.
I don’t really want to run into my big brother while he’s on duty my first day back in town. I’d never hear the end of that.
“Hold on,” I say, stepping back, ignoring the way the guy looks like he might be ready to murder me at the thought of me fleeing the scene. I’m not going anywhere; he can hold onto his socks.
From the back of my car, I dig out a blanket from my emergency pack. It’s not much, but it’ll act as a stretcher and hopefully take the pressure off her pain, wherever it is.
I lay the blanket out on the road without saying anything, and then carefully—slowly, with every whine from the dog breaking my damn heart—we transfer her over.
“She came out of nowhere… I didn’t have time to—”
“Let’s just get her to the vet,” he grumbles as we each take one end of the blanket.
“One, two—” We lift, carefully arrange the weight, and then maneuver the bundle of dog and blankets into the back seat. The stranger immediately gets in with her, and I start to tell him he doesn’t have to, but I can see by the way he’s instantly comforting the dog that he wants to be back there with her.
Please let her be okay. I feel sick just thinking about the alternative. I’ve never killed anything that at least wasn’t actively trying to kill me first.
Surprisingly, I know the way to the vet by memory. Years away or no, when you grow up on a farm, you get to know the local vet pretty well. Or at least their office, since the name on the sign outside is different than I remember.
The guy starts to get the dog out, but I’ve got a better idea.
“Wait here,” I tell him, pointing like he’s the dog that’s going to run away. He glares at me, and I can’t say I blame him. He’s got every reason in the world to be mad at me right now, but he’s also dealing with a lot of stress and I’m pretty levelheaded all things considered.
It only takes a second to convince the doctor inside to come out and help us, and he takes her right back into his examination room without anyone saying another word to me. Everyone’s gone, and it’s just me in the waiting room, awkwardly standing here wondering if I should even be here. But of course I’m going to be here. I’m the only reason anyone’s here right now, so I’m going to stay. I’m going to see this through, no matter how awful it might turn out to be.
Don’t think like that, I scold myself. No use thinking about the worst until you know the outcome for sure.
The stranger comes out from the back alone, and my heart sinks. I jump to my feet, muttering something about how sorry I am again. I don’t even know what the words are, but he looks surprised, eyes going wide, then shakes his head.
“Oh, you think she’s… No, Max thinks sh
e’s gonna be okay.”
I let out a huge sigh of relief, every muscle in my body relaxing a little. I didn’t even realize how tense I was until I’m not.
“Also…” he says, trailing off, rubbing the back of his head absently. It’s the first time I actually take a look at the guy and… He’s cute. He’s got a rugged, casual vibe. Definitely blue collar, a little scruffy around the edges, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He looks like he just got finished working on something in a garage and took his dog for a walk in the same work clothes.
And it’s not a bad look. I appreciate a man who doesn’t mind getting a little dirty.
Or a lot dirty.
Not the time, Parris.
Right. It’s definitely not the right time to think about dragging my tongue down his body.
“I’m sorry,” he says, snapping me out of my daydreams.
“What?”
He shrugs. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. The leash broke, and she’s a greyhound. They run. It’s not your fault. Just one of those things, you know?”
“But she’s going to be okay?” I ask. The apology is throwing me off, so I’m latching on to the only part of what he said that makes sense.
“Seems like it. She’s a tough girl,” he says with something I can’t place in his voice. I know people really love their dogs, but I get the feeling that losing this dog would’ve meant way more to this guy than your average person. Not sure what’s so special about her, but I’ve never really understood the whole pet thing. Too much commitment if you ask me. Not that anyone is worth that.
“I’m glad to hear it,” I say, pulling out my wallet and my card to leave at the front desk. “Send the bill to me,” I say, handing the card over to the vet when he comes out a minute later. “So… Everything good here?” I ask hesitantly to the guy. I don’t even know his name. Under other circumstances I might have tried to put some moves on him, to flirt a little, lay some groundwork to have some fun during my couple of weeks back in town.
But I just ran over his dog, so I think that ship has sailed. Now I just want to get out of here as soon as I can and put the whole awful thing behind me.
And face the next awful thing with my family. Whoopee.
The guy makes a weird face, and I wonder if he’s thinking the same things I already thought about, like whether there should be some kind of report or something of the incident. But this is a small town, and even though there’s a Rainier at the head of the police force, people still like to handle their business without getting authorities involved.
“Yeah, we’re good,” he says finally, his eyes telling a whole different story. He’s scrutinizing me in a way that’s all too familiar, but feels completely out of place right now.
I’m losing it.
I shake off the feeling that he’s checking me out and head outside, taking a deep breath the moment I’m back in the car.
By now, I’m sure my family’s wondering where I’m at, since I should’ve been there an hour or more ago. I’m surprised I don’t have a bunch of missed calls from my mom to be honest.
When I get to the old house, though, everyone’s waiting for me just as I expected. It’s kind of nice to have everyone happy to see me and to catch up with everyone—for about ten minutes. Then I’m already feeling overwhelmed.
“Hey, come here,” Ryan says, gesturing me over to him with a head jerk. His face is serious and it makes me go cold inside.
Has he somehow already heard about the accident? Fucking small towns, man. Nothing gets past anyone.
Reluctant to get lectured by my big brother, I try to ignore him, but that doesn’t work.
“Psst, Parris!” he says, shout-whispering. “Come over here!”
May’s the one currently telling me about everything that’s going on with her at college—easy to half-listen to since all the stories are pretty much the same—and she stops, snickering at Ryan’s antics.
“You should see what he wants before he gets up on a table and starts jumping for your attention.”
I shake my head, frowning. “Ryan? Yeah right.”
May snickers. “You’d be surprised how much more…” She pauses, thinks about her word choice for a moment, then says, “More, he is. I think being with Christian, finally accepting that part of him, it’s really helped him open up. He’s a lot more fun, too.”
“Just what every cop should be,” I mutter.
“He’s not on duty. And since when are you such a sourpuss?” she asks, jabbing me in the shoulder with a manicured fingernail. Guess now that she’s not doing hard farm labor she’s moved onto getting manicures like the other college girls. I’m happy for her. It’s about time someone else got out of this place.
Though I guess Grant’s made his way out too. There’s a handful of grayish sheep in this family. None of us are really black sheep anymore. At least not from what I’ve heard about Sawyer these days.
That’s a transformation I never expected. I thought he and I were one and the same with our desire to be away from the big family gatherings, the lack of interest in settling down.
Sawyer turning around on all of that and getting hitched felt almost personal. Now I’m the only holdout and it’s like he abandoned me.
“I’m not a sourpuss,” I whine, pushing my sister back.
“Are too. You really that upset about going to your cousin’s wedding?” she teases. “Don’t worry, you’ll find your Prince Charming someday.”
“Don’t jinx me like that,” I grumble. “Maybe I just don’t want to talk to Ryan.”
She narrows her eyes. “Why?”
“You’re nosy, you know that?”
“I’m a little sister, of course I’m nosy. That’s practically my job. So what’d you do?” she asks, grinning from ear to ear.
Damn it. I would’ve been better off just facing Ryan to begin with. He wouldn’t give me the third degree.
“What makes you think I did anything?” I ask, hearing how defensive I sound. I could curse myself for being so transparent.
She shrugs and affixes me in her gaze. “Well, a lifetime of experience as your sister…”
I flip her the bird as I walk off, her laughter trailing behind me. I’m definitely better off with Ryan at this point.
“Finally,” he says, exasperated as I approach. “I thought I was going to have to break out the flares or something to get your attention.”
I frown. That’s not something a guy who’s annoyed with me would say, is it?
“What’s up?” I say, deciding I’m not going to incriminate myself before he says his piece. I learned that lesson young. Never confess until you know they’ve got you dead to rights.
“You’ve been gone for a long time—”
“Dude, I know how to tell time,” I groan, rolling my eyes. Why is that the first thing that everyone says to me? I know three years is a long time, but it’s not that long. It’s not like I was trapped on a deserted island for a decade and presumed dead. Everyone’s known where I am. I answer emails and shit. That’s what most relationships are these days, aren’t they?
Ryan’s mouth firms. “Like I was saying, you’ve been gone a long time, so I figured you and Troy might need a reintroduction,” he says, turning. Then I realize that his kid’s standing a little behind him, and Ryan puts his hand on the kid’s back and guides him forward.
“Holy crap, this is Troy?” I ask, crouching down to his level. The last time I saw the kid he couldn’t string together a sentence. Now he looks… Well, he looks like a kid, not a baby. I don’t know how old he is. Three years older than the last time I saw him, I guess?
“I haven’t seen you in forever,” I say, obviously not having the first clue how to talk to kids.
“Do you like swimming?” he asks.
“Uh… yeah, sure, I guess. I’ve done a couple of underwater shoots that were fun.”
He looks confused. He turns to his dad, little eyes wide.
“Uncle Parris is a
photographer. He takes pictures for magazines and stuff.”
“You take pictures underwater?” Troy asks, eyeing me again, his head tilting to the side.
“Sometimes. Wanna see some?”
His eyes open wide and he nods eagerly. “Yes!”
I chuckle and stand up straight. “Well, come on, my equipment’s in my car.” He seems eager to follow me, excited about the pictures and hearing about all the places I’ve been swimming. Guess it won’t be so hard to talk to the kid after all. Just call me Uncle Parris.
Read Running Off!
About the Author
Ashton Cade loves reading MM love stories so much, she decided to start writing her own. That way she never has to worry about running out of hot men to fantasize about. Other loves include butter tarts, cats, and anything that enhances the reading experience. Fuzzy blankets. A glass of wine. You get it.
To stay up-to-date on her latest releases, sign up for her author newsletter and be sure to follow her on Amazon.
Also by Ashton Cade
Letting Go
Breaking In
Burning Up
Moving On
Running Off