"Damn!" I said. "How far does this road go?" I pointed to the winding single-lane dirt path that led downstream.
"Just to the bottom of Little Moose. It's the turnaround point for the class three stretch. Most people stop there and have someone drive them back up here. Otherwise, they have to run the Ridge and that's way rougher water. Classic class five."
"You think I can catch them before they get to the Ridge if I take the road?"
"No way. The road takes forever. It's twice as fast by boat."
"Damn!
"Come on, I'll help you launch." He climbed out of the Corvette and uncoiled a six-foot frame that housed nothing but bunched muscles and sinew. He lumbered over to my Jeep and pulled the boat out by himself, lofting it over his shoulder as if it were made of balsa wood. "Get your gear," he said.
I followed him down the dirt path to the river, noting the posted signs that warned of rough water ahead, and put on my helmet and PFD while he set the little boat in the water.
My heart started to skip. "So how exactly do I know when this first stretch quits being class three and changes to class five?" I asked, fastening the spray-skirt around my waist.
The kid laughed. "Oh, you'll hear it before you see it. Just stay to the right when you get to where the river forks and you'll drift right over to the bank, no problem. You can't miss it. There's a sandy beach where everyone pulls out and a parking lot sorta like this one. You do know what you're doing?" he asked, holding the boat steady while I struggled into it.
"More or less." I wiggled my body down into the cockpit and took a deep breath, adjusting my weight for balance. Without my even asking, the kid helped me attach the spray-skirt to the cockpit rim.
He furrowed his brow. "It's usually best to go with another boat, in case you run into trouble. If you wait a while, someone else will probably come along. This place will be hopping pretty soon."
"Thanks," I said. "I don't suppose you'd like to serve as my guide?" I tried to make it sound like I was kidding.
"Uh, we didn't bring our boats today," he said, looking sheepishly back toward the Corvette.
I ignored the lump of fear that rose in my throat, and used my paddle to push myself away from the bank. For better or worse, I was on my way. I cleared my mind of the rising panic and concentrated on the fact that I needed to catch up to Maggie before Buddy managed to stage their accident.
The river was wide but the current was stronger than it had looked from shore. I practiced some basic paddle strokes and the kayak moved gracefully through the water with relative ease. It was a good time to try a few leans, I thought. Forcing my body to relax, I shifted my weight to first one side and then the other, feeling the pressure change against my knees as I put the boat on edge. The little boat danced over a ripple, causing a flurry in the pit of my stomach. I passed a small boulder to my left and practiced turning into the eddy, toward the calm water just behind the boulder. I positioned the boat slightly sideways from the eddy, paused for a second, gauging the speed I'd need, then took three deep pulls on the paddle and surged forward. It looked for a moment as if I would hit the boulder, but at the last second, the current carried me deep into the eddy and I tilted up on edge to keep myself right-side-up.
I allowed myself a brief moment of exhilaration while I rested, scanning the river downstream for potential hazards. Then, knowing I didn't have the luxury of taking any more time, I paddled away from the safety of the eddy and into the gathering current.
It didn't take long for the tiny ripples to become small waves. The kayak glided over them easily, however, and all I had to do was keep the bow pointed forward while I kept my balance. I used the paddles for direction more than speed as I maneuvered past the few obstacles I encountered. I was beginning to feel confident in my skills, when the river made a bend and suddenly the little waves became larger.
The current had also become more powerful and now things were rushing past me. I studied the river ahead, trying to anticipate my next move. Most of the boulders were large and round, but here and there a tree snag jutted out from the bank and I steered around them, trying to keep in the center of the main channel. I rounded another bend and suddenly found myself heading sideways toward a boulder.
"Think!" I shouted. My natural inclination was to lean away from it, but I knew that wasn't right. There would be a natural pillow of water buffeting off the rock, which should protect me. By leaning the wrong way, I'd most likely end up overturned. Against my inner warnings, I leaned my body and boat aggressively toward the rock, even putting my hand out against it. To my relief, the boat glanced off the boulder and headed back downstream as if nothing had happened. But my heart was in my throat.
There was little time to relish my triumph over the rock, however. Once I'd rounded the last bend, the river had narrowed and at the same time become more treacherous. If this was only class three, I never wanted to see anything higher!
Boulders now lined both sides of the river, creating a narrow passageway. There was no mistaking what was meant by the word Whitewater, I thought. The waves frothed and churned as they carried me over them, past the protection of eddies I had no hope of reaching, past the safety of the shoreline I couldn't reach if I wanted to.
Which I did, I told myself. I'd have given almost anything to be sitting on the safety of dry land.
Snap out of it! I chided myself. There was no time for cowardice. I needed to reach the base of Little Moose before Buddy had a chance to carry out her plan.
Jeez! I thought. If this was Little Moose, I hated to think what Big Moose was like.
There you go again, thinking like a coward.
I shook my head, trying to concentrate on the raging water in front of me, and suddenly, a terrifying thought struck me. Could Buddy be sending me these conflicting thoughts? Did she somehow know I was coming? Was she trying to psych me out?
I thought of her standing at the base of the stairs, willing her mother to stand still while she burned to death, and a shiver ran right through me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a boulder rose up in front of me and before I could maneuver around it, before I could even think what to do, I slammed into it. The kayak went up on edge and rolled over. Suddenly, I was upside down in the water.
Think! I commanded. You've got to flip the boat back over! I rocked my torso, feverishly trying to right the boat. Calm down! Use your hips. Right the boat and let your torso follow. It was as if the words in my head were being shouted by an impatient instructor. Quelling the rising panic, I closed my eyes, snapped my hip upward and rotated my body as the kayak rolled right-side-up. I gasped for air, holding my heaving sides, even as the boat surged forward. I'd done it! My heart pounded and water streamed down my face, but I was still alive. More determined than ever, I scanned the river ahead of me, searching for the fork that would lead me to safety, and hopefully to Maggie.
The kid back at the parking lot was right. I heard it long before I saw it. Just like that, the sound of rushing water gave way to a mild roar that made my neck hairs stand at attention. I immediately veered toward the right, even before the river wanted me to. When I saw the river divide, I nearly shouted with joy. There was a clear delineation between the right side and the left. It was as if half of the river had decided to call it quits, while the other half said, the hell with you, I'm going on!
I angled the boat toward the sandy beach, my eyes scouring the shoreline for Buddy and Maggie. Their boats were not on shore. Had they already dragged them up onto the bank? I paddled up to the sandy spit and studied the bank. There were no footprints, no drag marks in the sand. Last night's tide had covered any previous markings. No one had stopped here yet today.
"Damn it!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. My voice was lost in the distant roar of the river. Now what was I supposed to do?
"You're not afraid of getting wet, are you?" Buddy had teased me once. It was almost if she were taunting me with the same words now. Daring me to chase after her, daring me to do something I
shouldn't even consider.
"Shit!" I shouted again, pushing myself away from the safety of the sheltered beach. Before I could talk myself out of it, using long deep strokes I paddled myself out to the source of the roar, to the left side of the river, toward Big Moose.
The river wanted me, I thought, surprised at how the current pulled me right into its channel, sucking me downstream like a vacuum. I tried to relax, knowing a stiff torso would be harder to balance, but my heart was pounding. I used the paddles to brace the kayak, keeping it steady in the roiling water. Suddenly, the bottom dropped out of the river and I was headed nose-down into a steep drop. I leaned back, willing the bow to rise, bracing myself against the impact. Despite my efforts, the bow knifed into the water and the boat turned sideways, banging against a boulder. Before I could even lean into the rock, the boat bounced off, caroming off another rock as if I was in a pinball machine. Somehow, through sheer luck, I managed to remain upright.
Desperately, I worked the paddles, trying to coerce the bow forward. Just as I did, the river dropped again, but this time I was able to throw my weight toward the stern in time and the kayak handled the four-foot fall with relative ease, landing in somewhat calmer water.
And then I saw them! Both kayaks were resting in an eddy not two hundred feet away. My heart hammered as I surveyed the situation. Maggie looked fine. At least from where I was, they appeared to be having a good time.
I shot forward, my mind racing. Should I confront Buddy here in the river? Or pretend not to know what was happening? Before I could decide, she spotted me. I maneuvered the kayak across the stream to the eddy line and turned into the calmer water, nearly capsizing when I put the boat on edge.
Buddy laughed. "Not bad for someone who claims to be the still-water type!" she shouted over the roar.
"What in the world are you doing here, Cass?" Maggie was soaking wet and looked shaken.
"Decided to join you!" I shouted. "How come you guys didn't stop back there where the river divided?"
"Why should we?" Maggie asked, raising her voice against the roar of the water.
"Because that was the end of the class three section. You're in class five now!"
Maggie looked from me to Buddy, obviously puzzled.
"Really?" Buddy said, looking surprised. "No wonder it picked up! I thought it was kinda rough." Her dark eyes were studying me, and a small smile played on her lips.
I looked pointedly at Maggie. "I think we should get out here, Maggie. If we can get over to that bank we can walk back up to the divide. It's not that far."
"You go ahead, if you want," Buddy shouted.
"Maggie's doing just fine. I told you she was a natural!"
Maggie was looking from Buddy to me, her green eyes probing.
"I really think we should get out here," I repeated, my eyes pleading with her.
"Actually, I am pretty tired. You don't mind, do you, Buddy? This was a lot more strenuous than I thought."
Buddy's eyes narrowed. She was holding onto one end of Maggie's paddle, keeping the two boats steady. She started shaking her head. "You did it, didn't you?" she said, looking at me. Her voice had lowered and it was difficult to hear her over the water rushing past us.
"You made it too easy," I said. "You wanted me to know."
"Know what?" Maggie asked.
"Who I really am," Buddy said. "I didn't think you'd actually do it. This kind of changes things."
"Do what?" Maggie's voice had risen.
"Figure out her password, for one thing. Read the letter she wrote before her hard drive crashed. Realize that she's the one who's been sending us our dreams. She's a murderer, Maggie."
Maggie had started to pull away from Buddy's boat, but Buddy had a firm grip on the paddle and wouldn't let go.
"It sounds terrible when you put it that way," Buddy said. "Murderer has such a nasty ring to it."
"What would you like me to call you?" I said, struggling to keep my boat in the eddy. My stern kept trying to drag me downstream, but I couldn't move any closer without getting within Buddy's reach.
"I never hurt anyone who didn't have it coming," she said. "You of all people should understand that. I'm just doing what you do, Cass. Fighting the bad guys. I'm just better at it than you. I make sure they never hurt anyone else again."
Maggie looked incredulous. "But someone hit you on the head and stole the file!" she said.
Buddy laughed and pantomimed hitting herself over the head.
"The problem with playing judge and jury," I said, "is what if you're wrong?"
"I haven't been wrong yet," she said, flashing her Donnie Osmond smile.
"You're wrong about Maggie."
"Bullshit! I heard you in there groveling! You let her hit you! She's no better than the assholes who abuse her clients. In fact, she's worse. She's a liar and a hypocrite. She deserves to be punished."
"Oh, God," Maggie said, shaking her head, still trying to pull free from Buddy's boat. "Buddy, that was a trap. We found the transmitter and made that whole scene up —"
Buddy cut her off, though she looked momentarily unsure. "It wasn't just then, Maggie. I've seen the way Cassidy looks at you. I've heard her on the phone. You hurt her. You weren't just making it up. I'd know! You're just trying to save yourself!"
"She's telling the truth, Buddy. We were trying to lay a trap!"
"You think I'm going to believe you? You're just like all the other victims, trying to protect their abusers! God, I can't believe I thought you were different. The pair of you are sickening!"
"I would never hurt Cassidy, Buddy. I love her."
"Oh sure. That's why you left her for someone else!"
"That wasn't something I wanted to do. It was something I had to do. There's a difference."
"And you just expected her to wait around for you?"
"I didn't expect her to. I hoped she would. I wanted her to. But I didn't expect it of her." Maggie was looking at me now and I saw tears in her eyes.
Buddy was shaking her head, looking from Maggie to me. "You don't buy this, do you?"
"Yeah, I do, Buddy. There's no reason for you to hurt Maggie. She's never hurt anyone in her life."
"Bullshit! You forget I'm not just a sender. You don't think I've been able to read how you feel? And now you're saying she didn't hurt you?"
"My feelings were hurt, Buddy, but that's part of life. I've accepted what Maggie did, what she had to do. It wasn't easy for me, but I'm over it. It was between Maggie and me, and it's over." Saying it aloud, I realized it was true. And suddenly I felt stronger than I'd felt in ages.
Maggie tried once again to pull her paddle free from Buddy's grip and this time, Buddy let go unexpectedly, causing Maggie's boat to spin backward. Buddy leaned forward and yanked the paddle away, then used it to shove Maggie out into the swirling current.
"No!" I yelled.
"You want her so bad, you can have her," Buddy said. "But you gotta catch her first." With that, she wheeled around and expertly dug into the water, moving away from the eddy in sure, even strokes.
Much more awkwardly than she had done, I pointed my bow downstream and took off after them. I saw Maggie's kayak rounding the bend, skidding along on its side. Buddy was right behind her.
I let the current guide me, using my paddles not just for balance now, but for power. The river plunged several feet and this time I rode it out, leaning back, never missing a beat with the paddles. A boulder loomed up on my right and I leaned into it, letting the pocket of water around it cushion the blow. They were no more than thirty feet in front of me, but it seemed an impossible distance. Maggie's kayak was caroming off of rocks, swirling around in the water like a bobber. Buddy was almost on top of her. Suddenly, I found myself willing her to stop.
Let her go, Buddy! Let her go and we'll let you go. Don't hurt her, please!
To my surprise, Buddy turned around and our eyes made contact. Even from that distance, I could see her dark eyes dancing.
&
nbsp; Deal! she seemed to say, though even if she'd shouted it, I wouldn't have heard her over the roar. She pulled up next to Maggie's kayak and, leaning her own boat dangerously, flipped Maggie's over. Then she looked back at me once more before shooting down the rapids in front of her.
"Roll over!" I yelled, though I knew Maggie couldn't hear me under the water. I'd almost reached her when her boat snagged itself on a tangle of tree branches jutting out from the bank. Maggie was trapped underwater. "Goddamn you!" I yelled after Buddy, who was long gone.
My boat was swirling away from the tree branch, caught in the larger current, and in a second, I'd be past Maggie's kayak. I had no choice. I leaned all the way over and turned my own kayak upside down, holding my breath as I tried to orient myself underwater. I grabbed hold of the skirt release and pulled it away from me, then off of the cockpit. Damn it! I could feel myself being swept downstream, away from Maggie.
I pushed myself out of the boat, struggling to work my legs free. Suddenly, the boat bounced away and I popped to the surface, gulping the fresh air. I looked around frantically and saw Maggie's kayak scoot past me, on a path that followed my own. But where was Maggie? Already swept downstream? Or still trapped underwater?
"Maggie!" I yelled. I was being swept downstream and couldn't fight the current. Float on your back feet-first, I heard Buddy's voice say. If only I'd taken notes on that film! The PFD kept my body and head above water as I strained to see over the white rapids, searching for any sign of Maggie, for any chance to rest. The river rushed around a bend and suddenly I saw her. She was draped across a tree snag right in front of me. If I plowed into her, she might lose the tenuous grip she had and be dragged back into the water. But if I didn't try to grab the branch, I might not get another chance.
"Hold on!" I yelled. I flipped over onto my stomach and, using every ounce of strength in my body, pulled myself through the water toward the branch. A second later, my arms were draped over the branch, even while the river tugged at my legs.
"Thank God," Maggie yelled. Even though she was right beside me, the noise was deafening. "I thought you'd drowned!"
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