“She is my new bird,” said Josh. “Wanta see her?” His eyes got big and he stood up waiting for Dr. Lord to answer, but she just kept writing more and more on her papers.
“Um, well not right now Josh, let's finish our conversation. What else did you and Walter talk about?”
Josh thought back to the night and remembered the stick Walter had whittled with the eyes that looked like a snake. It was so silky smooth and Josh wished he would have taken it home. “Walter had a knife,” Josh said as Desiree gasped and Bradford leaned forward interested in where this was all going.
“Oh, I see,” said Dr. Lord, “and did he try to hurt you with it?”
Josh wrinkled up his forehead and looked at Dr. Lord angrily, “NO! Walter would never ever hurt me!” His eyes flashed with anger.
“Calm down, Josh,” Desiree said, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Well, what was Walter doing with the knife, Joshua?”
“He was whittling,” said Josh, excited that he remembered such a big word. “The wood was so smooth without the bark pieces and he let me feel it. Then Walter cut eyes out and made it look like a snake, it was cool.” He hopped up and down with his butt on the sofa. Desiree did not want to hear about knives and snakes and she was certain she’d heard enough.
“What else did you and Walter do together, Joshua,” asked Dr. Lord smiling again now, with a look of concern.
“Nothing,” said Josh.
“Oh come on, you must have done something else, now think, think hard.”
Josh closed his eyes and thought but he just couldn’t think of anything else.
“Okay Desiree, I am going to ask that you and Bradford wait in the next room for a while okay?” She said, as her fat legs walked them to the adjacent room.
“Josh, Mommy will be right here, okay?”
Before Josh could answer his mother, Dr. Lord was crouched again at his level. “Now Josh, I’m going to let you draw a picture of your favorite friend Walter, would you like that?” She smiled and pulled out the small desk chair and asked Josh what he would prefer to use. Josh chose markers and was happy that he finally didn’t have to answer any more questions for a while. He decided to draw a picture of Jackie eating bird seeds out of his hand and Walter smiling. He was really getting into his picture and had almost forgotten Dr. Lord was even in the room when she came and sat beside him.
“Whatta ya got there, Josh? Tell me all about your beautiful drawing.”
“Well,” said Josh, “this is Walter.” He pointed to a stick-like creature with a huge smile. “This is me feeding Jackie out of my hand, it tickled,” said Josh smiling.
Dr. Lord looked at the picture and wrote some other things down on her tablet. “Josh, did Walter ever touch you anywhere?”
Josh was tired of answering this question and it made him feel weird when they asked it like he had done something bad. “No,” he said, only to shake my hand like cowboys do.
“Is that right?” Dr. Lord said chuckling. “Josh, I know Walter is your friend, but I have to ask you a couple more questions, okay?” She looked at Josh and smiled again as she removed the strand of black hair from her eyes.
“Okay,” said Josh, not knowing why it was such a big deal. All Josh could think of that would have made Mommy so mad was Walter taking his dad’s suit, but Josh knew he’d bring it back.
“Joshua, did Walter ever show you anything?” She raised her eyebrows funny. “Did he ever go to the bathroom in front of you?”
Josh just stared at her oddly and wondered why Walter would ever go to the potty in front of him. “No,” Josh said rather slowly.
“Did you ever see Walter undressed?”
“No,” said Josh again feeling more strange than ever.
“Okay Josh, well can you tell me what made Walter someone you would call your friend?”
Josh didn’t have to think about this answer, he knew it, “Walter’s wife died and she is in heaven with Daddy and they are friends. I always wanted to have a friend that had someone in heaven like my daddy.” Josh lowered his head now and tried not to cry, but tears were welling up and he kept wiping them and looking down at his snow boots that he insisted on wearing that morning.
“Well Josh, we are all finished, how would you like to make fun stuff in my play dough factory while your mother and I talk?”
Josh suddenly felt better and he loved Play-Doh, so off he went with Dr. Lord to the children’s room.
Dr. Lord entered the room where Desiree and Bradford sat and said, “I think there is something you should see.”
Desiree’s heart sank and she felt as if her legs were unsteady. Bradford took her by the hand and led her back to the bright colored sitting room. Dr. Lord held a remote control and she was rewinding the tape. “I think everything will be okay,” she said, looking at Desiree, “but there is something I believe you need to see.” She paused the tape and then hit play. Bradford and Desiree peered up at the television as Dr. Lord asked Josh, “Can you tell me what made Walter a friend?” Desiree waited impatiently, she had chewed all her fingernails down to the quick. Then she heard the sweetest, most heartbreaking words, “I always wanted to have a friend who had someone in heaven like my daddy.”
A Change in the Air
Chapter 26
Marcie arrived at the School for the Blind and secretly hoped that Benjamin was there. She knew he wasn’t worth the trouble and would probably hurt her like every other guy she’d dated, but she just couldn’t get him off her mind or out of her heart. She hoped once he had moved forward and gotten over Debbie he’d be fine. She made a mental note to go to the library and check out some books on the effects of losing a loved one or spouse. Maybe if she did some research she could understand more thoroughly why Benjamin kept pushing her away. She climbed up the steps and wondered why a blind school would even have steps. She caught sight of Benjamin out of the corner of her eye and began to walk in that direction. She shuffled past the front desk without signing the register sheet. “Hey, Ben!” Marcie said, smiling and trying to catch up with him.
“Hello, Marcie, how you been?” His head was lowered and he had his hands shoved down deep inside his pockets.
“Good,” she answered, “haven’t heard from you, though, you okay?”
“Yeah fine, I’m fine, just started a new job over at Frank’s Steakhouse with Clark.” Benjamin removed one hand, ran his fingers through his long hair, and chewed on his fingernail.
“Oh, that’s good. Is it more money?”
“Yeah, a couple bucks more.” Benjamin looked at her thin lips and gorgeous smile and wished he hadn’t screwed up his life so bad. He wished he was someone good enough for her. “So, what do you have planned for the night?” he asked.
“Not much Ben, what about you?” She waited for his reply; her heart was beating extra hard in her ears.
Benjamin kept telling himself to be kind and friendly but to just continue walking. “Don’t look into her eyes Ben,” he kept telling himself this over and over again. But his heart gave in and he found himself inviting her into Frank’s to have a drink around the time he got off.
“I might be able to come,” said Marcie, who was already trying to decide what to wear and how to fix her hair. Then, of course, what time to show up, not too early, but not too late. She was pumped and couldn’t wait to leave and stop at the library to check out some books. “See ya later Ben,” said Marcie, smiling all the way to the front desk where she signed in late.
Benjamin was cooking steaks tonight, and his only requirement was to make sure the temperature was perfect to order. If it was ordered medium it better be medium because if it was medium well or well done you couldn’t make it pink again.
Frank, the owner, was a heavy set man with an Italian background and a temper that was worse than Benjamin’s father’s at times. When he was angry, he was the devil, but when he was having a good day and food cost was low, he was your best friend. He ran a tight ship, but he also let all his e
mployees sit at the bar when their shift was over. They just had to follow the rules. The first rule was a nice clean appearance, which meant a shirt with a collar. The second rule was that there would be no cursing and no getting tanked. Getting tanked is what Frank considered too drunk to handle your booze.
Benjamin knew Frank was sharp right when he came to work for him. If you let your employees sit at the bar, well they give you back all the money you pay them in wages. The other bonus for Frank was the fact that they got acquainted with the guests and the guests grew to like their company, hence bringing them back time and time again. Frank didn’t hire anyone with a sappy personality, which made Benjamin wonder what he had seen in him. Each employee always brought a shirt to change into and sometimes a pair of shoes. If the bar was completely full, he’d let the employees sit at the tables around the bar. Once you got to know Frank and his eccentric personality, he was an okay guy. Sure beats this community service work thought Benjamin, just as a young man opened a stall door and knocked his cane from one side of the door to the next.
Benjamin finished sweeping the men’s room and reached for the dustpan. He figured he’d just continue his relationship with Marcie until she found out or until it ended some other way. He seemed to change his mind from one minute to the next.
His friend Clark knew about his past, and he had known the owner Frank for a long time, so Benjamin was just lucky to get that job. Clark was his best friend before and after the accident. He had a father that had walked out on his mother when Clark was thirteen, leaving Clark with a little sister to take care of and a lot more chores than any other kid his age. He started smoking weed with Benjamin when his mom left for work at night. She stopped working at the gas station and took a job as an exotic dancer to pay the bills. They had all night to party, but his mother was starting to get a bad reputation, which just added more harassment for Clark at school. Sometimes they stayed in Clark’s mom’s garage and played guitar and listened to music, both of them looking for an escape but for different reasons.
Benjamin was scared to go home to his father and all his cruelty. Clark was afraid his father might never come back, leaving him and his mother with a large hole in their hearts. So they smoked a little more or they’d find some bum in the parking lot, who for the price of a cheap fifth of bourbon would buy their beer too. Life was good; Benjamin missed those days. They both made money selling weed and would have made a pretty decent haul if it weren’t for them smoking up most their profit. Benjamin couldn’t afford to do that anymore, not with his past. One more court appearance and Benjamin would be completely finished. He hadn’t seen Desiree lately and hoped she had finally backed off.
He walked to the front desk of the School for the Blind and signed the check-out sheet. He opened the door and drank in the sunshine that was pressing through the winter sky.
Benjamin felt like his life was changing. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but deep inside he felt a wave of change and an inner intuition that things were beginning to look up. He skipped down the front steps and breathed the air of freedom.
The Makeover
Chapter 27
Bradford’s phone had been set on silence during the appointment at Dr. Lord’s office, but now he noticed that he had two missed calls from Thomas his partner at the firm. He stopped at a Starbuck’s and grabbed coffee for himself and Desiree and some juice for Josh, then checked his messages. He walked back to the Jeep and wondered if he should tell Desiree the news that Walter had escaped from the hospital. They were having such a good day, and Bradford had a gut feeling that this man wasn’t guilty of much more than petty theft. Plus Desiree seemed so relieved after going to see Dr. Lord, and he didn’t want to spoil it just yet.
“Where would you two like to go before we pick up Tabitha?” he said, wanting nothing more than to pamper her and help her heal. “Josh, how would you like to go to a pet store that specializes in birds and get some things for Jackie?”
Josh jumped up and down and screamed, “Yes, yes, yes!”
Bradford took Desiree by the arm and led her aside. He reached in his pocket and then looked deep into her eyes. “Desiree, I want you to take this credit card and go pamper yourself.” She began to protest and Bradford shushed her with his finger by placing it over her lips. “Listen, I don’t have any children and I live all alone; it’s just me. I want to do something nice for you. So you go to the salon or the mall and pamper yourself. Just drop Josh and me off at the pet store and we’ll be fine.”
Desiree was forever feeling guilty about letting anyone help her or especially dote on her for no reason. She hadn’t let anyone help her after John’s death, and she felt odd even being placed in this situation. But Desiree also felt that if she said “no” and didn’t allow Bradford this pleasure that she would be hurting him. She smiled and finally agreed, dropping them off at the pet store that was located in a strip mall with a sports shop and an ice cream shop as well.
“We’ll be fine,” Bradford said, pointing out all the locations they could hit. “You go do something nice for yourself.”
Desiree left them at the pet store and knew exactly where she was headed. She unclasped her purse and pulled out the crinkled magazine photo of a blonde with short spiky hair and bright red lips. Desiree pulled into the salon and asked the young girl who had called her name if she would be able to create a miracle. The stylist was a little younger than Desiree was used to getting, but she kept saying all she needed was a razor cut and some products. She seemed to think she could help her hair look fuller and thicker. She placed Desiree in the chair by the sink and began to shampoo her thin hair. Then they picked out a blonde colored bleach that would add body and the stylist separated pieces and placed them in foil. Then after being under the dryer for fifteen minutes, she was ready to rinse and cut.
Desiree closed her eyes and listened to the scissors snip, snip, snip. She felt the razor rip through her hair, held her breath, and hoped it would turn out okay. She had fallen in love with the cut in the photo, but more than that she hoped Bradford would like it. It was funny how close she felt to him in such a short time. She knew they had been friends for about a year now while working together, but this was different. She felt sparks and desires that had lain dormant for too long were beginning to stir.
After the stylist was finished blow drying and styling her hair, she asked Desiree to close her eyes. “Ready?” she said as she turned the chair around to face the mirror. Desiree opened her eyes and sat looking at the reflection of a woman she didn’t recognize. She looked, at least, five years younger if not more, and her hair for the first time in a long time actually looked thick, it even felt thick. Her eyes filled with tears as the hairdresser screamed, “You don’t like it?”
“Oh no, no, honey, it’s just the opposite. I love it!” She hugged the hairdresser and handed her the credit card. “Here you go, Mrs. Stiltz,” she said as she gave her the receipt and Visa card back. Desiree liked the way that sounded “Mrs. Stiltz,” hmm, she better snap out of it, she thought, as she made her way back to the jeep. She had bought all the products the stylist suggested, thickening shampoos and styling gels and foams and sprays. She just hoped she would be able to make it look like the stylist had.
For the first time, in a long time, Desiree felt sexy and surer of herself than she had in years. She kept looking in the mirror on her way back to pick up Bradford and Josh. She turned the radio on to her favorite classic seventies station and started singing to the music, she raised her hands in the air and sang, “Your Mama Don’t Dance.” She pulled into the parking lot feeling like a new woman, peeked one more time into the mirror, and applied some lip gloss. Bradford and Josh were headed down a sidewalk that went directly in front of the sports shop, Josh had a bag in one hand and so did Bradford. They spotted the jeep and headed that way. Desiree decided to play it up with all she had and rolled down the window, “Do you boys need a ride?” she said smiling.
Bradford was blown away. “Why pretty
lady, I think we do!” She pulled over next to them and hopped out of the jeep just as Bradford grabbed her and ran his fingers through her hair. “You look so beautiful,” he said the words slowly, and when he came to the word beautiful it was as if he let each syllable run over his tongue. Then he kissed her, right there in front of Josh and the whole world. Even though it was a subtle kiss on the cheek, it made her heart ripple. Desiree could not believe that a handsome attorney would want to kiss her, but she had sensed he had wanted to all morning. Josh pulled on his coat and made a face that said stop.
“Mommy you look different, I did not even know that was you with that wig on your head.”
Desiree’s face turned red. “It’s not a wig Josh, its Mommy’s hair.”
“Oh,” said Josh not pressing it and not causing Desiree any embarrassment.
Desiree was so proud of how well Josh had acted all day. He hadn’t thrown a temper tantrum at all, what was that about? As they headed to get Tabitha and visit with her grandmom, Josh told her all about the brand new fountain they got for Jackie.
“It has flowing water and an angel with a light. And we got Jackie some toys and a bell and bird food with vitamins!” He was talking a mile a minute and Desiree knew he needed a nap.
They arrived at her grandmom’s and she began to fuss over Desiree’s new haircut, complimenting it over and over again. Tabitha cried and didn’t want to go to her, not recognizing her at first. Desiree helped her grandmom set the table and they all took their plate to the kitchen, fixing their own plates. Bradford helped get the children’s plates, as Linda watched him with approval. She had cooked a pot roast with new potatoes, carrots, and celery. She had cornbread cakes and the promised peach cobbler, sitting inside the oven to stay warm. Everyone sat down and began buttering their bread and pouring their tea when finally Grandmom asked everyone to bow their head as she said the blessing. Desiree loved the fact that time could go by and this tradition could end in so many families, but that was not the case with her grandmom. As long as she had breath, she would thank her maker, her Lord.
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