Buddy eased the truck to the side of the road that led to the grounds. He stepped out of the rig and walked over to the cab door, just as Walter stepped down.
“Would you like to meet her?” Walter asked as he made his way towards the grassy mounds.
“It would be an honor!” Buddy exclaimed as he followed Walter’s footsteps. The sun was just coming up, and the birds were giving a song to the day. Walter knelt down next to the stone that held his beloved's name and began to pull up the grass that had grown up around it. It was a double tombstone and Walter’s name was next to hers. The tombstone listed his birth date and an empty space seemed to echo what Walter knew would one day be engraved with his death date.
“Well, here she is Buddy, the love of my life.”
Buddy felt like he was interrupting a sacred moment but reached out and patted Walter’s shoulder. He stood for a moment in silence, remembering all the wonderful stories he had heard about this lady name Ruthie, even felt like he knew her.
“Well, I best be going Walt.” He turned and gave him a hug and another pat on the back. “Here’s my number and a little something in case you get hungry.”
Walter took the twenty that was folded in half and the scratch paper scribbled in ink and humbly put it in his pants pocket. He had lost all his independence and had come to grips with allowing Buddy to help him. “I don’t know how I can ever thank you,” he said, his brown eyes penetrating Buddy’s.
“I don’t know how I can ever thank you,” Buddy said his voice cracking. Buddy was always a big teddy bear at heart, and he often cried over a sappy movie when no one was watching. “Take care, my friend.”
“You do the same, Buddy.” Walter watched his friend walk back to his eighteen wheeler and get in. He studied the flames painted on the side until Buddy was out of sight and then knelt back down by his wife.
“Ruthie, I want more than anything to make things right and I’m sorry I let you down. I want to ask you to forgive me for not being there and for abandoning you. I just thought since you didn’t know if I was there anyways, why did it matter? But now I know my actions have hurt our children and possibly another family as well. Oh, Ruthie, I’ve made such a mess of things. Will you forgive me?” Tears were slowly easing down his cheeks, and his heart ached. He waited as if he expected to hear her voice and then began to speak again.
“I want to ask you to forgive me for leaving our children and not being there for them and especially our grandbabies. But Ruthie, I promise I am going to try and do everything I can to make it up to them. Will you trust me?”
Walter sat and looked up at the blue sky dusted with faint clouds. He knew she was not there but in a better place. His heart ached for the life he used to have. Time and space could never erase her touch or her voice. He rose up and studied the area and made a mental note of the moment. He would have to make his way to the police department soon. There was no other choice except to keep running, and Walter knew he had run long enough.
Jackie’s Flight
Chapter 58
Josh sat in a daze. His ruffled hair was even more unruly that day and his almond eyes were heavy. He had just written a note to his father again in his book his mother had found that day. Picking bright red paper he wrote each word as carefully as possible. He had to write small to fit everything on the small sheet of paper. He sure did miss his dad and remembered it all so clear, the day when they lowered his father’s coffee into the ground and how he could hear his mommy crying in the night. He wanted to go get in bed with her and help her, but when he knocked on the door she always shooed him away. This made him angry because he needed her.
Josh wanted to forget it all, but as hard as he tried, he couldn’t get the nightmare out of his mind. And even though his mother thought he didn’t know, he heard her crying in the shower too. If only my daddy was still here, Josh thought. He coiled himself up in a fetal position on the couch and watched Jackie light on the bird stand Bradford had bought for her. His eyes were so heavy he couldn’t continue to keep them open. Josh was traveling and spinning into a dreamlike state. He was half awake and half asleep when the angel, Belinda appeared to him again.
“Josh, it’s time.” Her cherry scarlet hair glowed under the transparency of her white dress and her eyes looked deep within him. It was as if she could read his thoughts. Her face was mesmerizing, and he was in awe of her presence. “You must complete your assignment.”
Josh looked at her outstretched hand and he paused a moment, knowing the outcome. But suddenly Josh was taking her hand again and soaring above the tree tops. He loved the feeling of flying like a bird so freely. Belinda’s golden purse was in the other hand and soon they had eased upon the ground ever so lightly. “You must release the bird now Josh, it is time.” Belinda opened the purse where Jackie sat peacefully and lifted her out of the purse towards Josh.
“But I don’t want to,” Josh said, his voice high-pitched, nasal and sad.
“Josh, you must. She will come back to you.” Her voice clinked like fine bone china and her face glowed like the sun. “Go forward Josh, it is time.”
Josh was scared. He didn’t want to lose Jackie. He had already lost enough. “How can I be sure she will come back to me?”
“You must trust me, Josh.”
Josh looked down at Jackie, stroked her plumage, and whispered soft words to her. “Please come back Jackie, I love you so much. I will be waiting for you to come back, okay Jackie?” Josh began to lift Jackie into the air, and then he gently raised her up into the sky. He pushed her towards heaven and the spacious sky that drew her away from him. He felt her wings brush softly across his face and then watched as she soared towards wide open spaces of blue. But as soon as she was gone, poor little Josh was heart sick. “I want her back,” his lip quivered up at Belinda, who stared at him with such sadness.
“Once Jackie takes her flight, you will be rewarded.” Belinda looked up towards Jackie, who now was a tiny speck in the clouds. “Don’t you understand, Josh?” But before he could answer she took his hand and they began to soar through space and time and back to Josh’s home.
Josh stirred out of his dream sleep to find Jackie jumping and squealing like crazy. She was flying into the windows and trying to go outside. Josh had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he knew he had to obey the angel. As bad as he didn’t want to, deep inside he knew it had to happen, he had to release her. He shooed Jackie from the window and tried to calm her down for a bit. Then he decided to tear out his latest note he’d written to his daddy and roll it up and tuck it in the holding device on Jackie’s leg. He glanced down at the note and carefully read it again before rolling it up. It had to be rolled up ever so tight in order for it to fit in the tube.‘Dear Daddy, you are the best daddy in the whole wide universe. Do you have birds there too? I met a friend named Walter, Daddy and his wife Ruthie is in heaven with you. Did you see her Daddy? He really misses her too, Daddy and I miss you.
Love, Josh Levite
Josh crinkled up his forehead and pushed the note into the tube. Who knew, maybe Jackie could carry his letter straight to Daddy in heaven and then they could communicate? Maybe that was the reward. “Yes, that must be it!” He put his fingers in his mouth and chewed a thumbnail nervously. But then he smiled thinking about how great it would be to get a note back from Daddy.
Josh walked outside with Jackie in his arms and lifted his hands towards the sky, as Jackie took flight across the clear blue. Her wings fluttered and softly swept across his cheek just like in the dream. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard Belinda’s voice chiming in the distance, “Your obedience is recorded in the book. You have finished your mission. Well done, my son.”
Josh waited until Jackie was but a tiny speck in the sky. He hadn’t noticed but he had been holding his breath the whole time. Josh walked back into the house, but his heart was hurting. He was hoping he made the right decision. He felt sure he had heard correctly in his dream. Plus he knew the
angel was real. After all he had seen her with his very own two eyes. Would Jackie come back soon from heaven? He sure hoped so.
Revelation
Chapter 59
Brenda and Burt sat at the picnic table across from Sandra and Daniel at the park. It was a gorgeous day and the children were tossing bread crumbs into the water and watching the ducks scurry to lap up each bite. They had just eaten turkey and ham sandwiches with pickles, chips, and potato salad. Brenda and Daniel were laughing and talking about how much Mom would have enjoyed knowing they were celebrating her life. But the conversation quickly turned to Walter, and emotions ran high as they discussed his mental state and where he could be hiding.
“I think he’s really lost it now,” Brenda said, shaking her head.
Daniel knew his sister had grown bitter towards their father, but he hoped in time they could all have closure. “I know he took it hard when Mom lost her memory and motor skills. I think he died right then.” Daniel continued to talk, hoping Brenda would listen. “And I have to admit it, I still miss him and truly hope he’s safe.”
Brenda looked at her brother and thought about how quick he was to forgive and forget. She wished she could be more like that, but she had a stubborn streak that matched her fiery red hair.
Sam, Brenda’s German Shepherd, was running along beside the twins guarding them as the good protector he was. The signs of spring were all around, and the trees had begun to bud. The dogwood trees and the flowering cherry trees were in bloom. The wind was chilly, but the sun was shining brightly.
“I’m starting to grow tired,” Sandra whispered to Daniel under her breath. Daniel knew that sitting up at the hard picnic table and the day’s events would take a toll on his wife, but he just longed for some normalcy.
“Okay dear, we’ll head to the grave site and cut this short.”
“You feeling okay, Sandra?” Brenda inquired.
“Yes, just tired and a little fatigued today.”
“Well, I won’t keep everyone waiting then; I have an announcement to make.” Brenda patted Sandra’s shoulder, and Sandra fought the urge to yelp from the pain a mere pat had brought to her muscles. Sandra forced a smile and waited patiently for the celebration to be over so she could go lie down. Brenda stood up and cleared her throat teasingly. All eyes were on her and all ears, but Daniel’s were waiting for her news. Then she looked at Burt and glanced around the table. “I’m pregnant!” Her eyes lit up and her laughter brought a refreshing jovial feel to the moment.
Burt’s jaw dropped and Sandra got up to congratulate her. Burt grabbed his wife and held back the tears. They had waited so long for this moment.
“Ahh Brenda, I’m so happy, that’s wonderful news!”
Burt placed his hand on her stomach lovingly. “How long have you known, missy?” He smiled and held her for a few seconds, shocked at the great news.
Daniel had already been informed, but acted just as surprised as if he hadn’t. “Hey Jessica, Jessie, you’re going to have a brand new baby cousin to play with! Aren’t you excited?” Daniel blurted at his twins. The twins giggled and ran off chasing Sam. They weren’t used to pets, and he was something new to capture their attention.
Brenda thought about how she longed for her mother to be here when her baby arrived. She knew her mother would have been a terrific grandmother, and it hurt her heart to know that she would never take part in the child’s life. Burt’s mother lived in Wisconsin and his father never was a part of his life. And her father, well, she didn’t know how she felt about him coming back into the picture. Honestly, she felt like he wasn’t even a part of her life anymore. She had silently divorced him and all his idiosyncrasies.
About that time a bird soared overhead its wings flapping restlessly. The bird kept making a circular motion above the site, and there was something bright red attached to it. It was a homing pigeon. Brenda looked intently at the bird and realized it had a familiarity about it. Oh yes, she would have known that bird anywhere. It was Jackie and tucked inside her leg was a bright red sheet of paper rolled up. “Well, well Daddy, what will your note say this time?” Brenda’s mind went back to the moment she took his note and wrote in ink as bright as the red paper, one word, “unforgiven.” She stood for a minute watching, before flagging Daniel over. “Hey Daniel, Daniel, come here! Do you recognize this bird?” Brenda pointed up above her, as Burt pulled Sam’s leash back from the bird that was cooing and swooping downward.
“Well, if that’s the bird that I think it is, Dad can’t be very far from this site,” Daniel said. The group instantly scanned the site for Walter. That bird should have traveled straight to its home, which was a good ten miles away from the cemetery, but Jackie had simply followed the wings of an angel with crimson red hair. “I bet I know where Dad is,” said Daniel. “I bet he is visiting our mother right now as we speak.”
“Oh my gosh, Daniel, what are we going to do?”
Everyone fell silent, and then Jackie landed on the picnic table and began to hop about. Brenda bent down and pulled out the note tucked in the holding device and began to unroll it. The words were scribbled in black marker. She began to read aloud as everyone, including the twins gathered round to hear her.
‘Dear Daddy,
You are the best daddy in the whole wide universe. Do you have birds there too? I met a friend named Walter, Daddy and his wife Ruthie is in heaven with you. Did you see her Daddy? He really misses her too, and Daddy I miss you.
Love, Josh Levite’
Brenda and Daniel’s eyes locked and there was a genuine sadness in them for what they had just read. “Isn’t that the little boy on the news?” Daniel said.
“If it is, it all but proves he is innocent,” said Burt.
Daniel nodded in agreement before speaking. “This is truly so sad. This little boy has lost his father, and he is trying to send him a letter through Daddy’s own beloved Jackie.
Brenda thought about the situation and began to realize her father was just making friends with a child and, of course, he would never hurt one. She felt sick at her stomach. All this time she had had such wicked thoughts toward her father and here this little boy could never see his own father again. She wanted to be a family again and wanted things to be right. “Daddy, if I ever get the chance again to see you I’m going to make this right,” she said under her breath, just as Jackie cooed from the table. “We’ve gotta go see if Daddy is at the grave site!” said Brenda.
“Yes, and we may need this note to show the police that Daddy didn’t hurt this boy.”
Brenda took Sam by his leash and quickly led him to their jeep. Daniel and Sandra loaded up the twins, and they all made their way down to the cemetery. They each had different reasons for the many thoughts that were racing through their minds. There were thoughts about a small boy who wanted desperately to contact his father but couldn’t because he was dead. And how they each wished they could see and touch their mother again, but even more than that, they ached for their own father. Was Walter still alive and safe? Could they all forgive and move forward? Brenda picked up Jackie and placed her in her lap as Burt pulled out of the park and quickly followed Daniel and Sandra to the cemetery.
Hot Tea
Chapter 60
Marcie eased out of the patrol car. Her head was pounding and her legs were wobbly. She didn’t want to go inside the hospital and notify them that she had been raped. They would just think it was her fault anyway. It was always the women’s fault if they looked and dressed like her in tight pants and cleavage bearing tops, she thought. If only she hadn’t drunk so much. If only Benjamin hadn’t hurt her so. If only she was as strong as the facade she put on in front of others. Marcie clutched her chest. Her heart felt like it had been stabbed from the pain and heartbreak. She had thought Benjamin was the one, her soul mate, but he like her father was full of lies, deceit, and selfishness. Now that Steve had used her for his cheap lust, it was clear that she was used goods. I’m trash she thought, and my heart
feels like it’s been run through the garbage disposal, a shredded mess of arteries pumping and squirting sporadically. Her wounds were a festering sickness of the worst kind; it was the kind that hardened and left you numb. But if I was completely numb would she feel this much pain? she thought. Doubtful.
Marcie always loved too much, too strongly, and much too carelessly. When she loved she gave every ounce in her. She told them every secret and every dream she’d ever aspired to reach. She told them the story of when she was six and wet her pants the first day of school and how everyone laughed at her. She told them about how her virginity was stolen at fifteen by a young Navy boy who promised to marry her when he came back from his six month float overseas. She waited and wrote letter after letter, but instead he had married someone else. And she sure as hell didn’t have the energy to tell the world some creep named Steve had raped her!
Marci had taken a friend who was raped to the hospital once. She knew how humiliating it was for her friend and she sure didn’t need any more torture. The nurse had taken her friend Whitney’s underwear, and then they had combed her down there and snipped hairs and probed her. And while the nurses were invading her private area, the cops interviewed her as if nothing was going on. Whitney was bleeding and crying and her face was bruised. She had been leaving her office and walked to the parking garage only to be grabbed from behind with a knife in her back and a monster whispering in her ear. No, Marci didn’t need any more humiliation. She was capable of making herself feel like a whore without any help from the outside.
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