‘God, that sounds good,’ I tell him. ‘But I need to find my friends first, avert a crisis.’
‘Luca, there you are,’ I hear Tom’s voice behind me. He grabs me and he hugs me tighter than I think I’ve ever been hugged before. ‘Are you OK?’
Tom loosens his grip on me, just enough to hold me at arm’s length, to look over my injuries.
‘I’m fine, thank you’ I say. ‘It’s just a cut.’
For a second, I wonder if this is genuine concern, or because he doesn’t like to see me talking to Pete, but I get mad at myself for questioning his intentions like that.
Tom takes a thumb and brushes my cheek gently, just under my cut.
‘It looks sore,’ he says. ‘What did Ed say?’
Ed said way too much.
‘He says I’ll be fine,’ I tell him. ‘It shouldn’t leave a scar. It’s just a glorified scratch, really.’
Pete clears his throat. I’d kind of forgotten he was standing there and I feel bad for making him feel like a third wheel. It’s so easy to get caught up in the attention Tom gives everyone he talks to. He truly makes you feel like the most important thing in the world and – especially at times when you need it – it is such a huge comfort. I can’t let myself get caught up in it though, because tomorrow he’ll go home with Cleo, and in a few months they’ll have a child together. I am almost certain I can’t compete with that, but I am absolutely certain I shouldn’t try. I can’t do another second of this, I need to move on with my life.
I turn to Pete.
‘Pete, everything you said before – that sounds great.’
‘Well, OK,’ he replies with a big grin. ‘Room 312. I’ll see you there after you find your friends?’
‘See you there,’ I tell him.
Tom waits for Pete to walk off before he says anything.
‘What’s that all about?’ he asks, sounding just a little bit annoyed.
‘That is nothing to do with you,’ I tell him. ‘I’ve got to go.’
Tom gently takes me by the arm, to stop me walking away. It occurs to me, to call Fi, but I’ve left my phone in my bag in the office.
‘What?’ I ask him. ‘What do you want? What do you want from me?’
‘You’re going to his room? You just met him.’
‘I literally knew you for years,’ I tell him. ‘Doesn’t always work out though, does it?’
‘Tell me you’re not feeling something between us today and I’ll leave you alone,’ he replies.
‘I don’t have time for this, I need to find Fi.’
‘I’ve seen her. I’ll tell you where, if you just answer me,’ he practically begs.
‘Tom.’ I look him in the eye and muster up as much faux confidence as I can. ‘Whatever you’re feeling between us – it’s entirely one-sided. After the way you treated me when we were younger, I’ll never, ever trust you again. OK?’
In the five seconds before Tom says anything, I watch my words wound him and I feel sick with myself. The truth is, of course I’ve felt something between us today. I’ve felt something between us since that first conversation I had with him in my bedroom all those years ago. But it is true that I don’t trust him. And without trust, what have you got?
‘I saw her arguing with Zach outside,’ he tells me. ‘By the pop-up photo booth and the sweet cart.’
Perhaps the greatest tragedy of all today is that I am only just learning about the sweet cart. Maybe I’ll raid it after I sort out this mess, before I go to meet Pete.
‘Thank you,’ I tell him. ‘Now go find the girlfriend you chose over me all those years ago, and make things right with her. You made your bed, Tom. It’s too late now, you’ve got to sleep in it.’
‘Luca,’ he calls after me as I head for the door, but I ignore him. It breaks my heart to do it, but what else can I do? I can’t get in the way of him getting back with his pregnant girlfriend, even if I’d like to. Before, when he said they had split up, it sounded like he had no interest in being there for his kid, and I don’t know if that was true or for my benefit, but either way, it’s awful. If he and Cleo are trying to reconcile, I cannot get in the way of that. I have to remove myself from the equation, and perhaps moving to London is the best way to do it.
Chapter 30
I can only see Fiona standing by the sweet cart. As I hurry over to her, the overwhelmingly strong scent of sugar fills my nostrils and I feel intoxicated by it. I feel like, in my position, a normal adult might consider drowning their sorrows at the bar, but I want nothing more than to commiserate with a bag of pick ‘n’ mix, and maybe one of those two-foot-long jelly snakes I’ve just spotted. But I can tell that Fi looks upset, and that she needs me. I just need to keep my eyes on the prize. I’ll tell her what Ed is saying, make sure she’s OK and then I’ll get the hell out of here.
‘Hey, is everything OK?’ I ask her.
‘Zach and I were just arguing,’ she tells me. A tear escapes her eye, which she quickly wipes away.
‘Oh, God, has Ed told him?’ I ask.
‘Told him what?’ she replies.
‘Oh, erm …’
Suddenly I feel awkward, and incredibly guilty for taking drunk Ed’s word about what happened. This is Fi. Fifi, my best friend at uni, who could never even bear the idea of a one-night stand – especially not with the love of her life’s best friend.
‘It’s Ed,’ I tell her. ‘He’s taken this day off thing way too far. He’s so drunk, he actually tried to kiss me while he was cleaning my cut.’
‘What?’ Fi shrieks. ‘He’s married. He’s not just married though, he’s like, really, really married.’
‘I was shocked too,’ I tell her. ‘But I think he’s having some kind of moral crisis … or something.’
‘Shit,’ Fi replies. ‘Is he OK? Where is he now?’
‘He’s looking for you,’ I tell her. ‘Or maybe Zach … he was saying some stuff …’
‘Like what?’ she asks.
She doesn’t sound nervous or guilty or like she has a clue what I’m about to say, and now I feel really, really bad. Perhaps I shouldn’t even tell her – what’s she going to do, go and yell at him? I’m sure that’s the last thing he needs right now.
‘Luca, come on, what is he saying?’ she persists.
‘He’s … well … he’s very drunk, and he’s somehow got it into his head that, on New Year’s Eve – the one when you and Zach finally got together … Well, he’s got it in his head that, before that, before Zach got home, when he’d had his accident …’ I pause for a few seconds. Best just to spit it out. ‘He reckons he caught you shagging Clarky.’
‘Oh … my … God …’ she stutters, before quickly raising her hands to her mouth.
‘Listen, don’t panic, he’s just drunk, he’s talking rubbish, he doesn’t …’
My voice trails off as I notice something in her eye. A little glimmer of … I think it’s panic. Fear even.
‘He is talking rubbish, right?’
‘No, it’s true,’ she says, her voice crackling. ‘Shit, it’s true. Luca, no matter what, we can’t let him tell Zach because …’
‘Because he’ll kill him.’
We both jump at the sound of Zach’s voice. He’s been standing right next to us, listening to our conversation, for God knows how long. Long enough to realise what’s going on.
His Glaswegian accent always sounds so charming and fun-loving. Right now, I can hear the anger rumbling inside him, his words coming out in a growl.
‘Zach,’ Fi says, but he isn’t listening. He marches off, looking for Clarky I’d imagine.
I quicken my steps to catch him up. Now I really do feel fortunate to be wearing my trainers.
‘Zach, listen, let’s just calm down, OK? Let’s just stop and talk about it.’
‘Luca, stay out of it,’ he replies.
‘Zach.’
‘Listen, as far as I can tell, you and Matt were the only ones who didn’t know anything. I have no problem with
you. Clarky and I need a little chat though. Maybe me and Ed too, if I’ve got any fists left.’
Zach marches over to our table looking for Clarky, but he isn’t there. Ed is there though, and Matt has finally found a moment to take a seat and chat. He honestly couldn’t have picked a worse time.
‘Clarky?’ Zach barks at them.
‘Not here, mate,’ Matt replies. ‘He’s chatting up some bird, they went for a walk around the pond. You know what he’s like, he probably thinks she’ll shag him.’
Matt laughs, until he sees the anger on Zach’s face.
‘You OK, bud?’ he asks.
Zach doesn’t reply, he storms off in the direction of the pond.
‘Zach, please, just talk to me,’ Fi says running after him.
I suddenly notice how dark it’s getting, and how chilly it feels, now that the sun isn’t warming the occasion.
With my watch still frozen, and my phone in the office, I can genuinely say I have absolutely no idea what time it is. I’ve been conscious of the time maybe twice today. I feel trapped in a perpetual state of uni drama. When it was still light, it felt like this wedding might never end. Now that it’s getting dark, I can just about imagine the light at the end of the tunnel, but you know what they say: it’s always darkest before the dawn.
‘Luca, what’s going on?’ Matt asks me.
‘Ed thought today might be the day to mention Fi and Clarky had sex at uni,’ I tell him angrily.
The colour drains from Ed’s face.
‘I only told you,’ he insists.
‘I though you were going to tell Zach, so I told Fi. Zach overheard,’ I reply.
‘Shit, we’d better go after them,’ Matt says, jumping to his feet. I feel so sorry for him, he really didn’t need this on his wedding day.
The three of us run towards the pond, like the world’s worst trio of superheroes. We arrive just in time to see the poor girl Clarky was trying to chat up scarper. Zach is currently chasing Clarky around the pond, with a tearful Fi following his every step.
‘Mate, it was years ago,’ Clarky says, panting as he runs. ‘It was before you two even got together.’
‘Yeah, minutes before,’ Zach shouts back.
Clarky looks momentarily relieved as the cavalry arrives, but Zach sees an ally in Matt. And he’d be right.
‘Matt, block him,’ Zach shouts.
Matt decides where his loyalty lies. It follows his moral compass. Clarky tries to escape by running across the old, wooden bridge that stretches across the large pond, but it’s so long that the inevitable happens, and Zach blocks one end of the bridge, while Matt blocks the other. Poor Clarky just stands in the middle, looking back and forth between the two of them.
‘Lads, listen, we just need to talk about this like adults,’ Clarky reasons, which is rich coming from him, but the two of them beating him up isn’t the answer.
Fi, Ed and I hurry to Matt’s side of the bridge and push past him. As the three of us run towards Clarky, so does Zach. Now we’re all in the middle of the bridge together, Zach trying to murder Clarky, with only Ed’s minimal physical strength and my attempt at words of reason getting in his way.
‘You bastard,’ Zach yells at him.
‘Mate, I’m so sorry,’ Clarky says. His eyes widen as he runs a hand through his hair. He looks absolutely terrified.
‘Why?’ Zach yells. ‘Why did you do it?’
‘I didn’t think you’d care,’ he replies, rushing through his words. ‘Fi didn’t either. She told me that you were going to finally tell the girl you had feelings for all about it New Year’s Eve. When you never came home, she figured she wasn’t the girl. And it just happened.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ Zach replies. ‘I’m late home and you jump into bed with the first willing person?’
‘I was upset,’ Fi says weakly. ‘I didn’t know you’d had a car accident.’
‘Except I didn’t have a car accident,’ Zach says. I notice the veins on his temples becoming more pronounced as his anger increases. ‘I was covering for this bloody idiot.’
Zach yells this straight into Ed’s face. Ed lets go of him. Luckily Zach is too busy spilling the truth, to start spilling Clarky’s blood – for now at least.
‘What?’ Fi says.
‘Ed had the car accident. Ed hit the dog. Ed got drunk and decided to take the car for a spin. It was him who had the accident.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding,’ Matt says.
‘Luca and I covered for him,’ Zach says. ‘We didn’t want him to fuck up his career and his future. And how does he repay me for taking the fall for him? He watches my best mate nailing my girlfriend and doesn’t think to tell me.’
‘I wasn’t your girlfriend yet,’ Fi insists. It takes a second for what Zach actually said to catch up with her. She turns to Ed. ‘You … you actually watched us?’
‘Wait, you watched us?’ Clarks says, equally as outraged. ‘I knew you’d seen us together but I didn’t know you’d watched. You’re a dog murderer and a pervert.’
‘Ha, as if you think you have any right to be upset,’ Zach fumes.
‘I didn’t say that I watched,’ Ed says. ‘I couldn’t help but see though … and hear …’
Ed has the look of a solider recalling the unspeakable terrors of war.
‘Yes you are,’ Fi says. ‘Luca told me how you just tried to get off with her while you were supposed to be helping her.’
‘I’m not the pervert, you’re the pervert,’ he snaps back. ‘I saw what you two did, remember.’
‘OK,’ I start trying to diffuse the situation, but no one is listening.
‘As a doctor, I can’t advocate something so unhygienic.’
‘You little …’ Zach starts, before charging forwards.
Matt pushes past us towards Zach, holding him back from another violent outburst. I’m not sure if this one was intended for Clarky or Ed.
‘And, mate, you know it was your car Ed crashed, right?’ Zach tells Matt.
Oh, God, it’s all coming out now.
‘What?’ Matt says.
‘That night, it was your car that he crashed. He borrowed it without asking you.’
‘You covered for him and you let me believe I’d crashed my own car into something without realising?’ Matt replies.
I don’t think Zach saw himself coming off at all badly with that revelation.
‘I knew I hadn’t done it,’ Matt rants. ‘And Cleo said so too, she knew I hadn’t hit it that night. I only went out to pick up bloody costumes that night.’
‘Cleo?’ I say. ‘What’s Cleo got to do with this?’
‘That’s where I met her, at the fancy dress shop,’ he says. ‘I invited her and her mate to the party. The shop had just closed but Cleo didn’t have a costume – I’m bloody glad I gave her yours now, Luca.’
‘What?’ I reply.
‘I gave Cleo your costume. And I’m glad – I never thought you’d lie to me.’
Just like I’m on a rollercoaster, my heart jumps into my mouth, before plummeting into the depths of my stomach.
‘You gave Cleo my costume,’ I repeat back to him.
‘Luca, I don’t know why you’re getting so upset,’ Zach says. ‘Of everyone that’s been wronged, your thing is the least important.’
‘You didn’t just give her my costume, you gave her Tom,’ I say angrily. ‘He was looking for Catwoman that night. We were going to finally be together, except he met Cleo first, and he kissed her, and it’s because she was wearing my costume. This is all your fault.’
‘How was I to know?’ Matt asks me angrily.
I bite my lip and shake my head.
‘We’re supposed to be friends,’ Ed says softly.
‘Friends?’ I reply. ‘We’re not friends, none of us are. We deceive each other, we hurt each other – we don’t have each other’s backs. You’re all just out for yourselves.’
‘Never mind friends,’ Zach adds. ‘Fiona, you’
re supposed to be my fiancée. Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because you wouldn’t have got together with me at the time if you’d known,’ she says. ‘And the more time went on, the more I thought it would hurt you to find out about it.’
‘You’re damn right I wouldn’t have got together with you if I’d known Clarky’s bed was still warm from you being in it. My God, you slept with me that night too. That was our first night together.’
Fi honestly looks like she’s going to throw up. Now she is throwing up, leaning over the side of the bridge.
‘Do you know what makes me the angriest of all?’ Matt starts. ‘It’s the fact that it’s been ten years, but you wait until now, until today—’
‘Matt, shush,’ I say quickly.
‘Luca, don’t shush me,’ he says. ‘Not now.’
‘No, listen. Did you guys hear that?’
For a few seconds, there isn’t a sound. Just the quiet buzz of the wedding at the other side of the gardens. But then I hear it again, a clicking noise.
‘Did you hear that?’ I say.
‘Luca, hear what?’ Clarky asks angry. ‘If this is one of your hippy ways of making people make friends, listening to the trees or—’
It happens again, and this time everyone hears it. After a few seconds it happens again, and then again. And then the clicks start getting louder and closer together.
It’s not the trees, it’s the bridge.
‘Maybe we should get off this thing,’ I say, over the loud clicks and subsequent creaking noises.
Everyone makes a move to get off the bridge at once, but that’s all it takes. Before any of us can figure out what is going on, the bridge collapses beneath us.
Chapter 31
Then – New Year’s Day 2009
‘Are you not getting dressed today then?’ Ed asks, poking his head around the living room door.
‘Nope,’ I reply. ‘Not today, not tomorrow – maybe not even this year.’
‘Well, there’s not much I can say to that,’ he says. ‘Other than we’ll all join you.’
The Time of Our Lives Page 17