Nemesis

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Nemesis Page 14

by Margit Sandemo


  “Even giving the tiniest alms to a beggar may be due to a desire to feel benevolent. But you’re not a non-entity!”

  “Yes, I am. I’m nondescript, I have no personality and no ambitions whatsoever!”

  “What a horrible disparagement. And an insult to me.”

  “To you?”

  “You know that you were the first girl I fell in love with. You mustn’t accuse me of having bad taste.”

  She could not help laughing, but it quickly changed into a moan.

  “You mustn’t say anything funny, Tancred, because my whole body’s in pain.”

  “Sorry. I’ll try to be boring.”

  He touched her hair lightly and then lay on his back once more.

  Jessica said quietly, “You’re not a bore but you’re terribly serious, Tancred. You’re quite different from when I first got to know you.”

  He did not reply.

  “It’s not just me who’s reticent and self-centred. I think you’re facing big problems, Tancred. I couldn’t help hearing ...You spoke with a man right outside the door. He sounded obnoxious.”

  Tancred was silent for a very long time.

  “If only I could confide in somebody! But it’s all so terrible, so intimidating, that it’s nearly breaking me, Jessica!”

  She said shyly, “I suppose you won’t confide in me. After all, I’m just a stranger.”

  “You’re certainly not! Now you mustn’t underestimate yourself once more because I won’t have it! But you’re sick right now and need to get stronger.”

  “Tancred, it would make me very proud and happy if you’d confide in me and let me help you. And the kind of help I mean has nothing to do with physical strength.”

  He let out a deep sigh. “Although I’d like to, I can’t say anything. If only it was about myself ... But that’s not the case.”

  She said very discreetly, “Does it have to do with money? If so, I’m able to and would be happy to help you. I own Askinge, remember ...”

  “Oh, Jessica, no. Your money mustn’t be used for this horrible ... Oh, no. I just can’t talk about it!”

  “I shan’t press you. But you know that I’m there for you - if you ever need someone.”

  “I know that. Thanks for your consideration! But now your voice is so frail and tired that you must try and catch some sleep.”

  “Yes.” She smiled cautiously. “Tancred, I have a feeling that you and I will always meet each other lying down. I mean ...”

  She blushed in the darkness.

  “I know what you mean,” he laughed. “First of all, I stumbled over you in the forest a couple of times. Afterwards we were both bedridden with a rotten cold – oh, it was the world’s silliest cold,” said Tancred, smiling at the memory. “And now this. No, it’s not often that we’ve met on our feet ... We’ve known each other for two years. And I’ve never experienced such a chaste relationship in all my life!”

  He bent over her and kissed her forehead.

  “There now! I’ve corrupted you.”

  Then he lay down to sleep. He didn’t see Jessica blush, and knew nothing of her racing heart.

  Chapter 10

  Tancred woke her so early that the rooster hadn’t even crowed yet.

  “If you can manage it we’ll be on our way now,” he whispered. “I’ve paid and Mum and Dad have probably been sitting up all night waiting for us.”

  “They’re bound to feel worried. Yes, of course I can manage.”

  But she was not able to at all. All she could manage was to wrap herself neatly in her blanket, shuffle to the outhouse in the courtyard and stagger back to the horse. She had to lean against it because she felt so dizzy. Tancred kept her from falling.

  “You’re crazy to walk out by yourself,” he chastised. “You should have asked for help.

  “There are limits,” she mumbled as she was lifted onto the horse. There she hung like a withered flower as she held on to the mane until Tancred positioned himself behind her on the horse.

  “Everything is so beautiful in the morning,” he said poetically.

  Jessica blinked as she tried to see the beauty he was referring to.

  “Fog,” she murmured. “Just thick fog.”

  “There’s no ... oh, dear, Jessica. You mustn’t fall off the horse!”

  A few hours later, Tancred rode into the courtyard at Gabrielshus.

  Old Wilhelmsen came out immediately. Tancred lifted Jessica down to him.

  “Please be careful! But she’s as light as a feather so you’ll manage.”

  He jumped off the horse quickly and took Jessica in his arms, which were pretty numb.

  He walked quickly up the steps and met his parents in the hall.

  “Mum, she’s bleeding,” he murmured, his lips pale.

  “Dear, sweet Tancred. You shouldn’t have taken her away! She’s unconscious!”

  “Nobody bothered about her in that house,” he answered, agitated. They went into Gabriella’s room, which Cecilie had made ready for Jessica.

  “Why did you take so long?”

  “We had to spend the night at the inn. Jessica couldn’t bear the journey any more.”

  “But Tancred! Why did you bring the poor girl to such a place?”

  “I had to. If she hadn’t rested right then, she might have died. I sat up with her all through the night.”

  “In the same room?”

  “How else could I sit up with her all through the night? Mum, it was so decent that all you women in the church society would have been bored stiff. What do you think I am? A monster?”

  “No, of course not. And besides, I’m not a member of the church society. You know that. Now – put her down. Right, like that, and leave the room while I tend to her,” said Cecilie emphatically. Tancred left the room.

  He stopped for a moment outside the door. He had a lovely, warm feeling in his heart in contrast to all the ugliness that had entered it recently.

  Jessica woke up the following morning with a sense of freedom.

  At first, she did not understand why. Then she realised that her headache was not as intense as usual. She could move her head for the first time in many weeks without feeling a sharp pain behind her eyes.

  Of course, she did not know it, but this was the first time in several weeks where she had avoided the nightly cup of milk.

  She woke up in an exquisite room that had a feminine touch. There was something youthful about it. Jessica guessed that Tancred’s twin sister had lived there.

  Tancred! The memory of the ride home made the blood rush to her head. Had he discovered how heavily she was bleeding? Oh, merciful God, let him not have found out because that would be too embarrassing.

  She touched herself carefully and noticed immediately that the aches and pains had not disappeared. But the searing pain in her stomach was not as intense any more. And her joints did not ache as badly as before.

  There was a knock on the door and Cecilie came in with a morning tray.

  Jessica had never before seen such a lavish breakfast so early in the morning! Slices of bread with a thick layer of butter, thick slices of cheese, slices of ham as big as plates, milk and apples.

  “How are you, my friend?” said Cecilie gently. “Have you slept well?”

  “Fine, thank you! Actually, I feel a lot better. It may sound stupid but it’s true.”

  “Good. Here’s some food for you. Do you think that you can sit up in bed?”

  Jessica hesitated. “I don’t know ...”

  “I understand. No, it’s best that you lie down. I’ll help you with the food.”

  “I wonder ... May I ask for something other than milk? At the Ulfeldt’s, I always got a big mug of milk in the evening, which gave me a strong pain. And today I feel much better. So maybe it’s the milk that doesn�
��t agree with me?”

  Cecilie said lightly, “I’ve heard of children who can’t tolerate milk. But haven’t you been able to drink milk before?”

  “Certainly. So maybe it’s stupid ...”

  “No, we’ll leave out the milk and see whether that helps. I’ll pass it on that you must have some beer instead.

  “Tancred is so sweet,” said Cecilie while she helped Jessica to eat. “I know that he can’t stand being called sweet but I’m not speaking about his appearance. He tells me that he’s always thought of you with immense tenderness and a little sadness. It’s bothered him that he hasn’t been able to ask for your forgiveness. He has wondered how you were getting on in life. Perhaps it was stupid of me not to give him your address earlier, but Tancred was so immature and temperamental at the time. He might have revealed your hiding place to someone – and you could have been pestered by that love-sick Holzenstern once more. You must regard his act of salvation yesterday as an atonement for the injustice he committed against you.”

  Jessica nodded. She had not put that much into it. He was bound to have had dozens of girlfriends since then.

  She could not bring herself to ask whether he had any special girlfriend at the moment.

  He came to her bedroom in the late morning before he had to return to his camp in Copenhagen. Jessica felt that he was overwhelming as he stood there and asked him shyly to sit down.

  “I only have a few minutes,” he said but sat down nevertheless, drawing the chair closer to the bed. “How are you feeling now?”

  “I haven’t felt this good in a long time,” she answered. “Thank you for coming!”

  “I’m so glad that I brought you here. Dad tells me that there’s great consternation in Copenhagen right now.”

  “Because I’ve left?” she asked, smiling skeptically.

  “No, of course not,” he laughed. “But Dina Vinshofers swears that Ulfeldt’s plan to poison the King is absolutely true and that a planned attack on Ulfeldt is nothing but a pack of lies. It’s caused consternation at the palace. Now it’s not so much Ulfeldt but the King who is threatened. So all gates into the palace have been closed. Cannons have been moved into position, and the place is under very close guard now. Reports say that panic is spreading across the country. Disgruntled noblemen in Corfitz Ulfeldt’s circles are the ones who will suffer the most. They’re under close surveillance. And Leonora Christina’s only brother, Valdemar Christian, or whatever his name is, has felt his honour defamed for a long time because he no longer receives an allowance. He is under especially close surveillance.”

  Jessica could not take her eyes off him. Once more, she felt small and estranged from him. She tried to say something intelligent, “This Dina has certainly caused trouble! Everything’s so concealed, no one just says things straight. No one trusts anybody anymore.”

  “Yes, you’re right,” he agreed, which made her feel immensely proud. “The clergymen warn people in the churches against this dark and incomprehensible case, which may be a prelude to Doomsday. Besides, it could cause unrest, which Denmark can’t afford when a war with Sweden looms at any moment. The Peace Treaty of 1648 wasn’t good for Denmark. Sweden has got Bremen and everything to the south – and much more besides – so Denmark is actually surrounded by Swedish territory. Our country hasn’t got the time for civil unrest right now.”

  “You’re right,” said Jessica. She liked it so much when he would talk to her about these kinds of current affairs.

  But the lighthearted, jolly tone between them from the days in Jutland had gone, and they would not find them again. This much she understood. She felt that he was the one who had changed the most. He seemed introverted and nervous.

  Jessica dozed off after he had left. She woke up with somebody bending over her.

  This was a new, yet fairly familiar, face. She noticed immediately that there were features similar to Tancred and his mother.

  But what a face! She had never seen such eyes before.

  They radiated warmth. The gentle smile gave her a profound sense of ease.

  She had met the purest personality among the Ice People. He had all the best traits of his stock. But Jessica did not know this, of course.

  He was much shorter and probably somewhat older than Tancred. His hair was dark red and the eyes azure. The jolly nose was covered in freckles.

  “Hello,” he said in Norwegian. “I’m Mattias, Tancred’s cousin, and I’m a trained doctor. I hear that you’re not quite well. Please tell me about it.”

  He sat down on the edge of her bed. Jessica felt a strong sense of confidence in him. He seemed so interested, so determined to help.

  She hesitated.

  “I want to hear all your symptoms,” he explained. “You’re very emaciated. I can see that, and you’re losing your hair. Aunt Cecilie said you also suffer from headaches. Where in your head do you feel them?”

  “Behind the eyes. It starts when I move them. Anyway, it’s better today than it has ever been since I fell ill.”

  “So I hear. Will you continue, please?”

  “I’ve got pain in my shoulders and down the spine. And very recently, also in my joints. Knees, ankles, wrists, fingers ...”

  Mattias removed the blanket and felt her shoulders and the tendons in the neck. “Good heavens, yes! I can certainly feel some knots! Any pain in your stomach?”

  “Yes. Extremely bad pain at night. After I’d drunk my milk. That’s why we’ll stop with that today. Actually, I am much better.”

  “Aunt Cecilie said that you’d also been bleeding heavily.”

  Oh, dear. She could not talk about that! But his gaze was so calm that she ignored her shame, lowered her eyes and murmured, “They are heavy and irregular. They come at any time.”

  “You’re losing a lot of blood because of it,” he said. “How long has it been like this?”

  “It’s hard to tell. Three or four months, maybe.”

  “That long? And you haven’t said anything about it? Well, first of all, I’ll carry out a test. You say that you’re fairly well right now. Do you have the courage to drink a mug of milk? Just to see whether you’ll feel a pain again.”

  Jessica nodded. “Of course,” she said, her voice trembling.

  “Good. I’ll have it sent up to you. How long does it usually take before you feel the pain?”

  “I don’t know because I’m usually asleep, and they’re there when I wake up. But let’s say one hour.”

  “Then I’ll be back in one hour’s time. And don’t worry. We’ll get you back on your feet again, more beautiful than ever,” he said with a radiant smile.

  For the first time, Jessica ventured a careful smile.

  She was given a mug of milk, stared at it for a moment and then drank it resolutely. Cecile came in to put clean linen on the bed.

  “I’m sorry that I’m soiling the sheets,” she said shyly.

  “Don’t you worry for a moment about that! I could send one of the maids but I think we’ll fix this on our own, you and I. We’ve known each other for so long.”

  “Thanks,” she mumbled.

  “You already look slightly better, Jessica. Your eyes are sparkling now. Your face looked so haggard at the Ulfeldt’s place. Tancred sends his greetings. He’ll try to return here tomorrow evening to see how you’re doing. He looks upon himself as your protector, and he said to tell you that you’d better get well soon!”

  “I’ll try,” smiled Jessica.

  She felt calm and safe in this house. If only she could stay here! But she did not want to be a burden to this family, and she could not let little Eleonora Sofia down.

  Two hours had almost passed when Mattias returned. Jessica was happy to see him again. She had thought a lot about those unique, warm eyes and had wanted to see them again.

  “Well?” he said.

 
“Nothing!” she radiated. “My body still aches and I’m so exhausted that I can hardly manage to lift a finger – but the unbearable pain in my head and stomach is gone.”

  “Good, then it wasn’t the milk. That’s is good because you need to eat lots of healthy food to regain your strength.”

  “But what is it then?”

  “I’m not able to say that yet, but now that we can rule out the milk, I’ll give you some medicine, which will help. Every day you’re to eat a kind of porridge, which looks absolutely horrid. Eat it no matter how terrible it tastes! It will help you.”

  “If it makes me well I’ll be happy to eat old leftovers,” said Jessica, exhausted. “What about those terrible sores?”

  “The porridge contains something which will also heal your sores. And try to eat as much of the food as you get! Cecilie and I have created it especially for you so that you will get strong. Will you do that?”

  “I’ll chew every bit. Thank you much for your help, my Lord.”

  “No, no. I’m just Mattias.”

  “Well, I understand that you’re a Baron.”

  He laughed. “A very illegitimate one. My mother is of very simple birth, yet in her heart she’s more noble than most aristocrats. I simply adore her.”

  “I’m sure it’s mutual,” smiled Jessica.

  “I’m so glad to see you in such a good mood. That’s a good sign.”

  “I’ve been so scared,” she confided openly. “But now I feel safe.”

  Mattias looked serious. “I understand what you mean.”

  When he left the sickroom, Cecilie and Alexander were waiting for him in the drawing room.

  “Well?”

  Mattias looked very glum. “It is as I thought. It has nothing to do with the milk. All signs show that she has been given a very slow-working poison.”

  “Poison? Are you sure?”

  “It may be by accident but I don’t see how.”

  “You seem sceptical,” said Alexander. “Do you think it was deliberate?”

  Mattias smiled. “I prefer to have the best opinion of people.”

  “We know that.”

  “Is there any reason why Jessica Cross would have enemies in Ulfeldt’s household?”

 

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