She spread her arms wide and wrapped them around my neck, pressing her lips against mine again. Our kiss grew more and more feverish and carnal. I didn't know what it was, or why I was feeling like I had never touched a woman before.
She was something entirely different.
More unique than anyone I'd ever been with.
Next thing I knew, my hands were on her ass and her legs were around my waist.
I groaned when our tongues touched and I sucked her bottom lip, wanting more.
So much more.
Her small hands felt cold against the back of my neck. She was shivering as her back stayed glued against the wall.
Jaz was nervous, and I didn't want her to be.
"Hey," I whispered into her lips, barely being able to open my eyes because of how dreamy I felt.
"We're just kissing, okay?"
She nodded, smiled a little and rubbed her nose with mine.
I smirked. She was adorable, and the fact that she was so fucking innocent made her even more so.
What I wouldn't give to take all of her, to ravish her body all night long.
I removed my t-shirt with my free hand while holding her up against the wall with the other. My gaze never left hers, even while she was running her hand all over my chest and feeling every ripple of muscle.
She pressed her mouth against mine again, then pulled away to look at me like she was searching for some kind of a clue. Or maybe she was just teasing.
Whatever it was, it was driving me crazy.
I wanted to pull on her hair and bite her chin, all the while not letting her move an inch while I left marks on her skin.
But I needed to keep myself in check instead of getting carried away.
I'd told her that it was no big deal, that we would just kiss. So, that's what we were going to do.
Just kiss.
My fingers were digging deep into her ass while I kissed her cheek, then her jawline.
"I want you so bad," I groaned, breathing against her neck and softly biting.
I could tell when a woman was getting to the point where she was willing to give me her all. I could see it on her face that she wanted me to take her.
But I never expected her to actually say it.
"Blake," she whispered into my ear.
"What is it?" I asked, still close enough to be able to kiss her delicious lips.
"I've never..."
"I know."
She kissed me furiously after that and I tossed her over the mattress within seconds.
I wanted to see her naked, twist her nipples and make her scream.
Taking it slow was giving me a slow death.
I nibbled her ears and she squirmed under me, her hands clasped together over her head.
She gasped when I bit the side of neck, then sucked on it till she begged me to stop.
"Blake," she said, palming my face.
"I want you to..."
She didn't have to finish her sentence for me to figure out where she was going with that. Jaz wanted me to take her virginity. She wanted me to be that man.
I shook my head and stared into her beaming eyes.
They were a bit glossy and I saw something in them that I wasn't expecting to.
Jaz cared for me, deeply.
It wasn't just sexual for her, and it wasn't just that for me, either.
"Do you not want me?" She asked when I didn't say anything.
I trailed my knuckles over her cheek.
"What does it look like?"
She smirked and clenched her jaw.
"Then why won't you..."
"Okay," I sat up straight, then pulled her up. "You really want to know?"
She shrugged.
"I won't be able to stop myself if we go any further."
"But I want you to."
"No, you don't," I said plainly. "You think you do, and you really might want it in this moment. But what happens when you get back to your senses? When the high of newness goes away?"
She scooted close to me and placed her hand over my face.
"This is not the high of newness... or whatever."
"So what is it?"
She pursed her lips and shook her head, looking out the window.
"Do you know what this is?"
I didn't have an answer to that, but then again I wasn't in Jasmine's shoes.
I'd been with countless women before and I was thirty-fucking-two. My days of walking over eggshells around an innocent virgin should have been over, and yet there I was -- longing for her like I'd stumbled upon gold.
"You don't, do you?" She answered for me. "So why do I have to know? Why can't we just go with the flow?"
Usually, I wouldn't question this request, especially from the lips of a woman as gorgeous as Jaz. But something awoke in me when she said that.
She didn't think this was going to last. This thing between me and her.
Well, who would? Perhaps I didn't either but the fact that I was willing to do this the right way was proof that I did kind of... like her. As more than just a toy.
By the time I gathered my thoughts and geared up to tell her that she needed to be sure before taking this step, she snapped.
"Forget it. This was a mistake."
Jaz stood to approach the door and I held her by the wrist and pulled her into my lap.
She looked visibly shaken, but relaxed a bit when I began to kiss the side of her neck. She tilted her head to the side when she remembered to be mad at me again.
"I know what I want," I said. "And I want you. Not just for this... one hour. This night or even this week. I want you. And I don't think you're prepared for that."
She filled her lungs with as much air as she could and then let it out with a tremble.
"But," her voice quivered. "Freya..."
"I know," I sighed. "I know. It's fucked up. I feel guilty but I can't deny how I feel when I'm close to you."
Her breathing got heavy and our foreheads touched.
"Me too. I feel really guilty, but not when I'm with you."
I closed my eyes and held her close.
"But this can't be a long term thing, Blake," she continued. "It just can't. I can't do that to my family and I definitely can't do it to my sister."
"Well then," I said, nodding at her things. "It's time for you leave."
"Are you serious?" She glared at me.
"Never been more serious before."
"So is that it?" She shrugged, the corners of her lips pointing down. "We're done? Just like that?"
"We don't have to be. That's up to you. But I won't just sleep with you for the fuck of it."
It took all the strength in me to say those words.
I would kill to sleep with her, if only for a single night.
But I didn't want to be the one who she would only remember as the man that took her virginity.
I wanted to be the only man she remembered.
9
Jasmine
Three years ago...
Freya barged into my room and slammed the door behind her. Without saying anything and after terrifying me with that dramatic entrance, she fell over my bed.
She always did that when something was bothering her.
Something big.
She would just show up out of nowhere and then stare at me like a lost puppy until I begged her to tell me what was up.
Today, I thought I wouldn't. I was hoping that she would get tired of sulking and then speak up on her own.
I was right.
She turned over to one side, her hand pressed against her cheek.
"Do you think I'm too... intense?"
"Um...," is all I could muster.
"Tell me!" She pestered, shaking my leg.
"Well, it depends on what you're referring to. In terms of work, or relationships, or what? I need a frame of reference here.”
"In terms of Blake."
I smirked. "What happened now? I thought you guys had the big talk
about giving him space to recover... from whatever it is that he's going through."
Blake's brother had lost his life on the job two years ago. That was just before he and Freya got together. She had been his rock through that tough time.
I was proud of her for being by his side and I'd told her that on multiple occasions.
I was also surprised by how patient she'd been with him since then.
Celebrations were a big part of who Freya was, at least at the time.
Birthdays, anniversaries, even friendship anniversaries were huge for her. Really, any reason at all to party. But she'd let go of all of that for Blake who was almost never in the mood to celebrate. Not after the tragic incident that he and his family had been through. He had been in an almost perpetual state of mourning, and it was likely wearing her down a bit.
Freya had missed celebrating their first dating anniversary, but she got over that quickly because it was still quite soon after Brian's passing.
She didn't want to impose and make Blake feel as if she were selfish or insensitive.
"Next week is our second year anniversary," she frowned.
"And?"
"And?" She snapped. "And well, I would like to do something. Something fun. But Blake doesn't even remember it."
"Is this why you were asking me if you're intense?"
She nodded.
"Well, this is just who you are. You're a scrapbook and memories kinda gal. Doesn't make you intense."
"But it does make me a bad girlfriend, doesn't it? Brian passed away two months from today the same year that we started dating. You know how he gets around this time of the year. I don't want to..."
She groaned.
"You'll never know if you don't ask," I shrugged. "Maybe he thinks that you don't want to do anything."
A squeaky sound escaped her throat and she waved it off.
"Forget it."
"What is it that you wanted to do, though?"
"Nothing big."
She was laying on her back again, sadness spreading across her face after she'd told that obvious lie.
Go big or go home was the motto that she lived her life by.
"Wanna go for a run?" I asked her, just so she would be distracted from her seemingly devastating misery.
She sighed and sat up straight, twirling the ends of her long brown hair.
"I'm not in the mood. Enjoy the shit weather outside."
Normally, she was the one to force me to get some exercise every single day. Running had grown on me but I still wasn't as passionate about it as she was. The best part of it was to have that company, without which it was just plain boring for me.
"Guessing you won't go either now?" She chuckled.
"Actually, I will. Like you always say, it's important to elevate your heart rate for at least ten minutes every day. So I'm going to stick to that rule. With or without you."
"I'm a proud sister today," she patted my shoulder and left.
When I opened the main door, I felt a wave of humidity slap me on the cheek.
It definitely was "shit" weather outside, but I still slid my feet into my running shoes.
I was determined.
Until I wasn't.
I ran for exactly ten minutes with the intention of not breaking the ten minute rule, even with the slight drizzle.
Then I made way for Blake's house, which was also the way back to my own.
I knocked at his door.
Freya's depressing tone had been lingering in my head and I felt this need to talk to Blake about it. I could never figure out what her deal was.
She would never hesitate to say the most uncalled for things to people, but she couldn't tell her own boyfriend that she wanted to celebrate their second year anniversary.
At some level, though, I understood.
She was worried that Blake might think she was a narcissistic bitch to want to have fun during these months that only brought him pain. That's where I thought I could be helpful.
Freya could use the assistance, a person who was willing to seem like a bitch for her sake and Blake could definitely use some time to get out of his own head.
He answered the door - shirtless.
His elbows were on the edge of the wall when he said, "Hey, what's goin' on?"
I stepped back and swallowed.
"Everything okay?"
I nodded repeatedly, trying to keep my eyes on his face instead of on his chest that my sister liked to talk about all the time.
"I need to discuss something with you," I said.
He leaned to the side and grabbed his t-shirt, then stepped outside under the drizzle.
"I'm listening," he said, sliding the t-shirt over his head.
"Not here, and definitely not in the rain."
"Oh," his forehead wrinkled. "Come inside."
"Actually, I just went for a run and now I would really like a cupcake. Want to walk with me to Chloe's?"
He laughed.
"That's a nice way to treat yourself after getting some exercise."
"Yeah," I crossed my arms. "You should try it sometime. You know, live a little?"
He shook his head and smirked. His green eyes became smaller when he did.
Blake's aura was genuine, it's why I liked to see my sister with him.
In fact, we all did.
Also, it didn't hurt that they both looked like some sort of celebrity power couple on the red carpet when they were together. That kind of glamour was a thing of fantasy for people in Hinsdale.
"It's raining," he said, pointing at the obvious. "Maybe we should...uh...take my car."
Chloe's Cafe was a mere five minute drive from our lane. The place was owned by Freya's best friend, Chloe Hunter, and her husband, Joshua.
It was one of my favorite places in town. Not that there were many options in Hinsdale to begin with, but this tiny space looked like it belonged in a child's fantasy. I loved that.
Chloe waved at me from behind the display of some ready-made pastries and cakes. An apron was wrapped around her waist and she looked like she was hustling - hard.
I might have even spotted a patch of flour on her forehead.
She whooshed by us and said, "Josh will be here to take your order in a sec." She paused to quickly wipe a table down before getting back inside the kitchen.
"So are you going to tell me what's up or what?"
I cleared my throat and sighed.
"What did she say?" He asked point blank. "Did she complain about me?"
That's usually how it went.
The only time that Blake and I would ever have an interaction was when I was trying to make things better between he and my sister.
"She didn't...," I pursed my lips. "Not this time. But... there's something that I thought you should know."
His lips tipped downward as he waited for me to continue.
"Hey, what can I get you folks?" Joshua interrupted and I watched the two men hug like they hadn't met in forever. They patted on each other's backs and when Blake was done asking him about life, we finally got to ordering.
"The usual for you?" He turned to me. "Peanut butter frosting?"
I tossed the menu to the side and smiled.
"You got it," he said, waiting for Blake to order. He just waved his hand. "Oh, I'm good. Thanks, Josh."
"So, as I was saying... I think."
Chloe interrupted us with a tap on my shoulder. "Ok, I have a free second, finally. Hug time!" I stood when she spread her arms to hug me.
"Okay, I've got to take a breather," she said, pulling up an empty stool and sitting with us.
It was no wonder that she and Freya were besties. Chloe was hard not to love.
They were basically the same person - loud, obnoxious and extroverted to the point that they sometimes made other people uncomfortable.
Her smile was wide and she waited for either of us to respond.
"Oh no...," she frowned. "Did I interrupt something?"
"No," I f
urrowed my brows. "Of course not. Blake and I here were just about to discuss something... about Freya."
"Oooh," she sang, leaning forward. "Do tell!"
"It's your guys' second year anniversary next week," I said and Chloe covered her mouth with her four fingers and looked at Blake. "Oh my! It's going to be two years, already?"
"I guess it is," he shrugged a shoulder. "What are you getting at?"
"You need to plan something big," I slow-nodded, hoping he would catch on.
"She didn't say she wanted to do anything," he responded. "Does she?"
Chloe and I stared at him and smiled.
"Um, yeah..," she said. "Pretty sure she's been counting down the days for a while."
"I mean, no pressure, though," I held up my hand at him. "You don't have to if you don't want to."
The last thing I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable, and end up making things way worse.
"No," he said. "I mean, yes. Sure. What do you guys suggest we do? A candlelight dinner maybe?"
Chloe narrowed her eyes at me with a thumb pointed at Blake.
"Girl, you sure it's been two years since they started dating?"
I laughed.
"Freya's not really the quiet candlelight type."
"Okay," he clasped his hands together. "A trip to Chicago then?"
"Pssht," Chloe rolled her eyes, then had a light bulb moment. "Hey, we can plan something... here. Like in the cafe. We could surprise her?"
"That's a great idea!" I nodded, then looked to Blake for approval.
He simply spread his arms and then slammed his hands together.
"Great, can't wait! Where do we start?"
"Okay," Chloe scooted closer to the table and rubbed her hands together like her brain was on overdrive. "I'm awesome at this stuff and I know Freya better than both of you."
"Hey!" I smacked the side of her arm. "I'm her sister. I know her the best."
"Fine. At least I know her better than this pretty boy over here."
Can't argue with that, I thought.
Blake sighed but didn't refute the fact.
"Two years versus ten, though," I said, defending him. "Let's give him a break."
"Fair enough," Chloe agreed. "Now, getting back to our plan. We're going to need balloons. Lots of them. Maybe a banner, too?"
"Banner...no," I said. "Overkill."
Forbidden Neighbor: A Contemporary Romance Boxset (Forbidden Saga Book 2) Page 6