by Aiden Bates
Luke pulled his mouth away, gasping, to turn his attention to crawling up the bed.
He drops himself back against the pillow, his breathing quick and shallow, and his entire body trembling with need.
Jason bends down to remove his own shoes with haste, and then he had climbing in beside Luke, shockingly agile as he maneuvers himself into the narrow space, the gold in his hair glinting in the soft light from the lantern above the bed.
All at once, Luke was struck again with the magnitude of what was about to take place. Jason Watson, his Jason Watson, who could do anything—who swims in the ocean as sleek as a fish, who runs through the air as though the weight of the earth does not hold him down, who sings like the gods of the world were in his lungs, who battles storms and surf and emerges, triumphant, laughing, his cheeks bright with rain—this man had chosen to lie down with Luke in his narrow bunk, and suddenly, Luke was wilting beneath the pressure.
Jason notices the change in him immediately—whether he sees it in the nervous dart of Luke’s eyes, or the sudden paleness in his cheeks, Luke cannot be sure but he knew Jason was aware of it, because his body stills, his eyes enormous in the flickering candlelight as he looked down at Luke.
“What was it?”
Luke felt all his fear rise up and stop his throat. He turns his head away from Jason’s worried gaze.
“Don’t do that,” Jason said, reaching down to place one hand over Luke’s where it was clenched into a fist against his side. “Don’t slip away. I need you here, with me. I need all of you if we’re going to do this. Tell me. What’s wrong?”
Luke looked up at Jason’s lovely face, the corners of his eyes creased tight with concern. It was so difficult to say what he had thinking, to tell Jason what he had afraid of, but he wanted so much, and the gentleness in Jason’s eyes gives him the courage to speak.
“I’ve never…” Luke’s voice was shy, choked tight with anxiety. “I’ve never done any of this. With anyone.”
Luke sees the flash of distress in Jason’s eyes. “Luke, if I’m going too fast. If we start doing anything you don’t want to do—”
“No!” Luke all but cries. “No, it was not that, it was just I’m not… I won’t be...” Luke swallows hard, forces the words out. “I don’t know what to do! I don’t know… anything.”
The shame he felt at this admission was so great Luke wanted to curl up into a ball and hide his face. He hates not knowing things, hates admitting to it even more, but he was saying this for Jason’s sake, so that Jason would drop his expectations down to the appropriate place, would be prepared when Luke utterly fell short in every way.
He wanted to be the best for Jason, needed to be the best lover he had ever had, would ever have, but how could he be when Luke didn’t even know what he had supposed to do?
Luke’s chest was heaving now, not with arousal, but with shame. Perhaps it would be better if he banished Jason from his bed right now—sent Jason away so he would never have to taste the bitterness of disappointment.
It took all his effort not to lift his hands and cover his face, so great was his embarrassment, but the wretchedness in his tone was apparently evidence enough of his discomfort because Jason squeezes Luke’s fingers under his own as though in supplication.
“Luke, you lovely, foolish creature, look at me a moment.”
Luke swallows hard, looked up at Jason, his expression full of sorrow.
“It didn’t matter to me that you don’t know what to do. I don’t care how much you know or don’t know; I want you, Luke. And that includes the parts of you that don’t know what you’re doing.”
Luke was still tense with doubt; he looked up at Jason, his lips trembling and Jason reaches out with his other hand to trail his fingers down Luke’s cheek.
Luke shivered at the delicate touch before pressing his face into Jason’s hand.
“Have you ever thought…” Jason continues, his voice like liquid darkness, like heat itself, “That it might be appealing to me? The thought of being the first one to who gets to do these things with you? The first one to kiss you…” Jason’s thumb strokes down Luke’s cheek, brushing the corner of his lips. “And touch you…” The hand covering Luke’s began to trace light patterns on the back of his wrist. “And see you like this?”
Jason went on speaking, his voice like syrup, like honey, like molten chocolate drizzling off a spoon.
“I couldn’t lie.” Luke watched Jason lick his lips, his pale pink tongue shining in the low light. “The thought of being the one to make you come apart, the first one to touch all the secret places in you that you don’t even know yourself,” Luke could hear Jason’s breathing growing less and less steady as he went on speaking; the thumb at the corner of Luke’s mouth stroking gently over Luke’s bottom lip. “It kept me up most nights.”
A shudder went through Luke at Jason’s words.
Hearing Jason describe the things he wanted to do to Luke coupled with the way Jason was looking at him, like he was a feast that Jason wanted to devour, like Jason was a cat and Luke was a bowl of cream—it burns away his shame in a shimmer of heat.
“And if you’re nervous,” Jason went on. “Don’t be. I’ll be here to guide you through it. I’ll show you what to do.” Jason’s thumb strokes back across the plumpness of Luke’s bottom lip. “And if you don’t like it—any of it, you just tell me.” His thumb stops stroking abruptly, his eyes deadly serious. “If you want to stop, we’ll stop. It was all fine by me. But you must tell me if it gets to be too much. Would you promise me that, Luke?”
Luke nods, his eyes wide, and then, because he had tired of waiting for Jason’s thumb to start moving again, he pushes his mouth into the palm of Jason’s hand, parting his lips against it, his breath stuttering out in a plume of heat. He pressed a kiss to the center of Jason’s hand and then pulled it down to clasp it with his own against his stomach.
He watched Jason’s eyelashes flutter closed at the touch of his mouth and at the sight of Jason so visibly affected by this simple gesture, Luke felt tingling warmth fill his body.
“Good,” Jason said, his eyes growing darker as he lowered his mouth down to Luke’s. He licks his lips before pressing them to Luke’s, his voice rough with longing. “Then let’s begin. Let me draw you out.”
Luke barely had time to suck in a breath before Jason’s lips were covering his and moving over Luke’s, soft and slow and wet. Luke pushes up into the lovely heat of Jason’s mouth, parting his lips, inviting him in, his fingers tightening around Jason’s where they lie against his belly.
Jason kissed him slow and deep, the hand not entwined with Luke’s sliding into his hair, pulling gently at his curls and Luke’s entire body jerks in response to the slight pressure on his scalp.
Luke breaks his mouth away, shocked, breathless.
“Jason! Do that again—”
Jason tugs gently, tilting Luke’s head back on the pillow, baring his throat, and Luke could feel his entire body filling with heat, his arousal gathering force between his legs. He could feel their joined fingers rising up and down with the rapid movement of his belly.
“Jason—” Luke’s voice was plaintive. “Kiss me while you’re doing it…”
Jason tugs at the curls, lowering his mouth to Luke’s and Luke cries out low in his throat, his body surging up against Jason’s, his free hand reaching out to clutch at the material of Jason’s shirt to pull Jason closer.
His body was electric, shivering, overwhelmed with the desire to feel Jason against him, all of him, every inch of skin and bone and muscle on top of him, touching him, but Jason holds himself at a distance.
“Luke, wait.” Jason’s breathing was ragged. “God, there were things I want to do to you…” Luke watched Jason shut his eyes and take a deep breath. “You’ve got to help me go slow, all right? You’ve got to… stop me.”
“Why?” Luke gasps, thrusting up against Jason, parting his thighs, pulling Jason down into the heat between his legs
, not conscious of what his body was doing just wanting, wanting, wanting.
“Because,” Jason gasps as their hips come together in a spark of heat. “You’ve never…” Jason licks his lips and Luke pulled his mouth down against his. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Then tell me,” Luke breathed against Jason’s mouth, “Tell me what you’re going to do.”
Jason drags his mouth over Luke’s in a not-quite kiss, his lips barely touching Luke’s in a slow slid of temptation, causing just enough friction to make Luke mad with the need for more of it, the heat of his breath unsteady over Luke’s mouth.
“Do you really want to know?” Jason asked, teasing, the corners of his mouth curling over Luke’s.
Luke tightens his hands in the fabric of Jason’s shirt, half-mad with frustration. “Yes,” he pleads, not even bothering to disguise the whine of need in his voice.
“Shh,” Jason kissed the corner of Luke’s mouth, soothing, but Luke could see the glitter of mischief in his eyes as he leaned back a little to continue speaking. “I’ll tell you.”
He sits back so that there was space between them, causing Luke to give another little whine of frustration but from here, now, he could see more of Jason, and his eyes as they fall heavy on Luke almost make up for the absence of Jason’s thighs against his own.
Luke could feel his breathing quickening just from the look in Jason’s eyes—Jason’s gaze on his body, almost as visceral as the touch of his hand.
“First, I’m going to rid you of all of these beautiful clothes.”
Jason trails a hand down the front of Luke’s chest and Luke sucks a breath in and holds it as Jason’s hand moves all the way down to his belly button and over his hip, where it rests, warm and light, fingers spread over the top of Luke’s thigh.
“And I’m going to look and look.”
Jason leaned back down against Luke, until his lips were at his ear.
“And then I’m going to kiss every bit of you I could reach until you couldn’t bear it anymore, until you’re begging me to touch you in one particular place…”
Luke, emboldened by the sudden force of his desire, by the warm weight of Jason’s hand on his hip, turns his head towards Jason’s mouth, parting his own lips against it, his voice light, breathless. “I think I might know where that place was already.”
“Good,” Jason purrs in low satisfaction, one hand coming up to hold Luke’s face, his thumb smoothing at the hollow of Luke’s cheek. “That was very good.”
Jason’s lips part under Luke’s, his tongue invading Luke’s mouth in a burst of heat. Luke opened his mouth wider, his own tongue pushing up against Jason’s to feel the lovely thrust of that muscle that was so intimately Jason.
The feel of it—Jason in his mouth pushing into him, stroking him, hot and slick and wet, makes Luke melt, at the same time as it incites a fire inside him that felt as though it could never be quenched. It was not enough. He needed more, so much more.
There was still space, infuriatingly, between Jason’s body and Luke’s, and Jason, Luke notes with vivid dismay, was still fully dressed in his jacket and shirt. This was intolerable, Luke thinks.
Luke reaches up to loop his arms around Jason’s neck and pull Jason down against him, his hips writhing against the mattress, desperate, seeking friction.
“Jason!” Luke pulled his mouth away to try and communicate to Jason what he needed. “I need you. I need—”
Jason’s hands settle on Luke’s shoulders, pressing him back gently against the pillow.
“Tell me,” Jason said, his voice soft and rough all at once.
Luke whimpers as Jason’s hands hold him not quite gently against the mattress, his palms on Luke’s shoulders leaking heat.
“I need you… against me…” Luke licks his lips. “With… no clothing between us, just you. Just me.”
The sound Jason makes in response to Luke’s words hit him right between his legs. He surges up against Jason in an effort to pull Jason down closer against him.
The buttons of Luke’s waistcoat were all undone but the garment was still around his shoulders, flapping open at his chest to expose the expensive linen shirt beneath, the quality of the fabric so fine, it was soft as a breath against Luke’s skin as he squirms against the mattress, desperate to bring Jason’s body into contact with his.
He reaches up to tug at the knotted fabric around Jason’s throat, his fingers trembling as he struggles to pull the knot loose and Jason sits up, pulling himself out of Luke’s reach, settling back on his knees to undo the knot and pull the fabric free.
Luke let a whine of displeasure escape him as Jason pulled away from him but it dies in his throat as he watched Jason, tugging the material from his neck, shrugging out of his dark jacket and tossing both garments to the floor beside the bed.
“Was that better?” Jason asked, sliding back down against Luke, his voice low and rough, like the purr of a cat.
“Y-yes,” Luke gasps, but also thinks No, as Jason’s shirt was still on him, keeping Jason’s chest from Luke’s eyes, preventing it from touching Luke’s skin.
He didn’t say anything though because Jason was back against him now, his hands pushing the waistcoat off of Luke’s shoulders, his mouth at Luke’s ear, gently coaxing him to sit up so he could free him of the garment.
Jason took the expensive material between his hands, began to fold it, but Luke makes an impatient noise, and pushes the fabric out of Jason’s hands so it drops to the floor.
“Don’t worry about that,” he sighed, leaning forward against Jason’s chest, sliding his arms around Jason’s waist.
“But—”
Luke swallows Jason’s protest with his mouth, pushing his body forward into Jason’s.
Luke would never get tired of the feeling of Jason’s mouth against his own, the soft slid of Jason’s lips against his. He still felt slightly clumsy, not wholly sure where to put his tongue, how to tilt his head, but it was impossible to care when Jason’s mouth was there, warm, and wet and opening beneath his own. The corresponding rush of heat in his belly, surging down between his legs, when Jason pushes his tongue past Luke’s lips, hot and slick, moving with delicious intention, makes Luke moan in response, his arms tightening around the small of Jason’s back.
Jason pulled back slightly to look at Luke, his eyes enormous in the low light of the candles. “You may have no experience but I could tell you, as someone who had a great deal of it, you were getting the hang of things very quickly.”
Luke felt a flush of pleasure at Jason’s words.
Jason leaned back in to recapture Luke’s mouth, his breath soft against Luke’s lips. “You’re a natural.”
Chapter Sixteen
Jason kissed him deeply, sweetly—the touch of his mouth soft and lingering, the feel of his tongue against Luke’s like warm silk—pulling away every few seconds, grinning, to give Luke a chance to catch his breath, which just makes Luke more desperate than ever, tightening his arms around Jason’s back to pull him close again.
They were both still sitting upright, Jason on his knees, Luke with his legs folded under him, leaning into Jason.
Luke wanted to go on kissing Jason forever. Of all the pursuits he had taken up in his life (and he had tried many), this was by far the most superior. He never wanted it to end. However, the slow, soft slid of their mouths was making the melting heat deep in Luke’s belly burn hotter than an inferno, and he found the need for stimulation between his legs was distracting to say the least. His hips have begun rocking of their own accord, seeking some kind of friction.
Luckily, Jason was attentive to these sorts of details.
“I think—” he said, his mouth reluctant to separate from Luke’s to continue speaking. “We’ve gotten…” Another kiss interrupts his speech. “A bit… side-tracked from our initial plan.”
“Yes,” Luke agrees, his response more of a gasp than an intelligible word. “Yes, we were going to�
�”
Luke entirely loses the thread of what he was saying as Jason’s mouth had moved from his own and was now sliding, hot and open, down under his jaw. He felt Jason begin to suck lightly and Luke whimpers, letting his head fall back.
Jason’s mouth continues moving down the slope of Luke’s neck to his shoulder, where the collar of Luke’s linen shirt had slipped down, revealing the pale skin of his shoulder and throat.
“My god,” Jason whispers, his mouth skimming, hot and open over the bare skin of Luke’s shoulder. “You unbearably lovely thing.”
Luke sits back a little to give Jason room, and Jason’s hands drop to his sides, tugging gently to pull his shirt free from his breeches. His mouth continues down to the front of Luke’s chest, still covered by the thin material of Luke’s shirt.
Luke could feel the heat of Jason’s breath through the linen and he waits, trembling lightly, to see what Jason would do.
Jason pressed a kiss to Luke’s chest, just above his heart, and Luke gasps and trembles harder.
Jason smoothes his hands down Luke’s arms—they were warm and strong—and it was only for their presence that Luke does not fall back in shock when Jason’s warm, wet mouth opened over Luke’s nipple and sucks it softly through his shirt.
Luke’s mouth drops open, his hands coming up to seize Jason by the arms, and he cannot even make a sound because the feel of Jason’s mouth touching him there—there—felt like nothing, nothing, he had ever experienced.
He could feel Jason smile against him in response and when Jason’s mouth pulled away briefly the heat of his breath on the damp material of the shirt makes a shudder run through Luke that he felt all the way through his cock.
He makes a strangled sound and Jason shushed him quietly before moving to lower his mouth to Luke’s other nipple, this time licking it through the shirt before he sucks. A sound escapes Luke that he had never heard before—it was guttural, low, filled with longing, and Jason sucks harder in response.