by Sarah Pointe
“Is that all?”
I could feel my face heat. I knew it was getting redder by the second. “Well, it turned out to be my most favorite thing I did in middle school.”
“And your partner?”
I huffed out a breath in exasperation. Was he gonna make me spell it out?
His eyes twinkled in challenge.
Fine.
“And my partner ended up being my huge crush, so that turned out better than I thought, too.”
He leaned forward. “This is getting good. So this crush…” He raised an eyebrow. How did he do that? I hoped he did it again and again.
“He was everything I thought he would be. Fun. Smart. Totally hot.” I was getting into this. Might as well dive all the way in. “And one time, I even though he might kiss me.”
His turn to blush.
I laughed. “Were you?”
“Wait, we’re talking about me here?”
He stirred his shake a little bit and then he nodded. “I should have kissed you. There are a lot of things I should have done back then, but here’s to second chances.” He raised his shake and we clinked glasses.
“To second chances.”
“You’re even prettier now.”
“Than in eighth grade? I hope so.”
“You were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen back then.”
I had to swallow twice before I could even respond. “I had no idea you thought so.”
“Again, I was only a little punk eighth grader, but there are a few things I would have done differently.”
His eyes held promises. Promises that meant maybe he would do those things now? I hoped so. Because just sitting with him in this booth had me melting in one big puddle.
After Friendly’s, he walked me out, holding my hand, kind of swinging it between us. “This is nice.”
“I’m not ready to be done yet.”
“Let’s see what we can do about that.” He opened my door again. I could get used to this.
When he got in the car, he reached for my hand again. He almost turned the key but then he shifted his body so that all of his handsome goodness was focused on me. And my mouth suddenly went drier than the desert.
“I don’t want to rush things.” His gaze was searching my face again, sending tingles everywhere.
But I didn’t know what to say to that. Were we rushing things? I was perfectly happy with the pace.
But then he leaned forward so that he was close. So close that his cologne caressed my senses, his eyes bore into me like a beacon. His scruff on his jawline was visible, and his lips… They were right there.
I lifted my eyes to his and as soon as he saw my hope there, or desire, I don’t know what he saw, but whatever it was, he covered my mouth with his with an urgency that surprised me. But I was no less ready to kiss him. My hand went immediately to the back of his neck and I tried to pull him closer.
His mouth caressed mine in a way that made promises. I could do this for a long time kind of promises; promises that made my toes curl. Other kinds of promises, too. The kind of promises that said, I’m yours. And even though this was all new to me, that felt special. When he softened his lips and gently, intently pressed into mine, I knew he was gonna be around awhile.
When he paused and backed away just enough that we could see each other, his mouth curled up in a smile. “That was a long time coming.”
I nodded.
He kissed me one more time and then settled back in his seat. “So much for taking things slow.”
I laughed. “I’m pretty happy with this pace.”
The grin he sent my way made us both laugh again.
“And now, I think you mentioned you had some homework to get done tonight?”
“When can we have a weekend?”
“How about this weekend? We have Saturday night, at least? Maybe we can add a few more dates in there.”
And then all my plans came rushing back. I had already scheduled a lunch thing on Saturday and a Friday night drive-through-lights thing.
But he didn’t mention anything specific, and I would need to go figure out my schedule.
When he stopped by the school to get my jeep, he followed me back to the house, I guess so he could walk me to the door. Mom opened it as soon as we got there.
“Uh, Mom?”
“I saw you pull up. And I wondered if Pete wanted to come in for some hot cocoa?”
I laughed.
But Pete nodded. “Of course. Thank you.”
So I took his hand this time and we followed in after my mom. Luckily, I didn’t think he was sick of me yet, because if he was on the fence, coming in for hot cocoa with my mom might have pushed him over.
We got out one of our old favorite games of cards, and even though there were just three of us, we played Hearts. And I thought of my dad with a smile. Pete creamed me and Mom, over and over.
And basically, the night was perfect.
Until I went up to my bedroom and glanced through my messages.
Chapter 13
I lay on my bed, scrolling through message after message. Everything kind of exploded again in the last few hours. Jackson Collins, my first fake date, sent me a message. We still on for Friday, ‘cause I’m hearing some stuff…
What stuff?
I had totally forgotten when I accepted that lights date with a guy named Carlos next week. It was in my phone. I should have checked. I scrolled through the new messages.
Two of the guys I had talked to a little bit messaged. One of them wrote, Not cool if you’re already taken. Just let me know.
Seeing some posts you’re tagged in. Still available for dates?
I scrolled through a lot of similar messages and more offers from others before I tracked down the first post.
Tad had tagged me in a post. I went there next trying to track down the beginning. And then I groaned. He had posted a selfie of us ice skating, holding up our hands. He hash-tagged, #bae, #shesmine #nomorefake, and I wanted to shrink down inside my covers. Why was he doing that? We had talked. And I had said for sure that we were still fake. Had I not been clear enough?
Then a real text came in, outside Instagram.
Cal. People are talking. You two-timing me with Tad? He sent a frowny face.
Now, hold on. Was that a joke? Was he serious? Last we talked, he’d friend-zoned me with a high five about Tad’s date.
Why didn’t you sit by me in English? Next time, you gotta come kick Tiff out of your desk. This time he sent a smiley face.
I had no idea what to do with that stuff.
For sure I had to have words with Tad.
Should I do another post? Suspend my fake status? Respond to each one of these accounts? I needed Sasha more than ever to help me know what to do, but she was back to not answering her phone.
My phone rang. Pete. With a groan, I answered. “Hey.”
“Uh. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. I’m trying to catch up. Everything is exploding on my end.”
“It looks like you were holding hands with some guy…”
“That was Tad. He was my fake date on Friday.”
“You hold hands with your fake dates?”
“Not…no. I don’t have a policy on this or anything…You know about ice skating, right? That was part of the deal in Tad’s situation. He needed someone to skate the couples’ skates with.”
Pete didn’t say anything for a long time.
“You still there?”
“I’m here. I don’t really have a right to say anything at all about this. I know.”
“If it bothers you, I’d like to know.”
“I just feel like everything’s moving so fast with us. But this whole fake dating thing is forcing that, in a way.”
“Why? I thought it’s what brought us together.”
“Right, true. But now I’m sitting here wanting to have a conversation like you’re my girlfriend and we’ve only been on one date.”
“Two.”
“Yes, two, but you know what I mean?”
“Look, Pete. I have to figure this out. I’m sorry it’s exploded like this, but I can’t regret that it happened. It brought you back in my life. That’s a good thing, right?”
“You know I think it is.”
“Can you trust me to figure all this out? Just give me a few days?”
His response took longer than I would like, but the guy didn’t really know me. So I didn’t blame him. Finally, he said, “I trust you. I’ve just never dated a girl who went on fake dates before.”
“Wow, when you put it like that, the whole thing sounds ridiculous.”
“Are you gonna do it forever? ’Cause, haven’t you found a guy who will do fun Christmas things with you?”
Unspoken in his tone was the question, “What more do you need?”
“Totally. We’re brand new. I mean, tonight just happened. Things were set up before, you know? And I’m getting lots of new messages.” I winced. Did he want to hear that? That I had lots of boys messaging me for dates? Probably not. “So, I gotta sort through this.”
“At least I get you all to myself on Friday.”
I winced again. But I couldn’t tell him I already planned a date. Every other night that weekend was booked, and the afternoons as well. Maybe I could cancel on Jackson and Pete would never have to know.
“You got it. Friday is our night. And I’ll try to shut this down somehow.”
“And this Tad guy?”
“Yeah, he goes to my school. He keeps acting like we’re a thing. It’s helping him get other girls apparently.”
“And you’re okay with this?”
“No, I’m not okay with it. I told him we are fake only. And then he posted this. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him again yet. I’m talking to you.”
“Right, sorry. I’m trying not to freak out. It’s just. That kiss. Tonight. It changed things.”
My heart might have wanted to melt on the spot.
“For me too.”
“Good. Maybe just keep telling me that while you try to get this figured out.”
“Who would have thought such a simple post would cause all this interest?”
“You really can’t see it, can you?”
“See what?”
“How awesome you are. Look, Ava. You’re the type of girl every guy would like to date. And I see that. And I want to date you for those reasons, too. But you’re much more than that. And that’s really why I’m here. Why I kissed you tonight.”
“That’s amazing. I—”
“You don’t have to say anything. Maybe you’re not there with me yet. But just know that. What do these strangers know about you?”
“True, and remember, we really are just going on fake dates. They aren’t real.”
“You might have to keep telling me that, too.”
I sighed. “I’ll work on this. I’m really new at this.”
“What? You’ve never had hundreds of guys trying to fake date you before?”
I laughed. “No, but I’ve never had any guy try to date me before. Maybe you could be a little patient with me, too.”
“I’m here. For the long haul. You figure this out and I’ll still be here.”
Everything seemed a little bit better after he said that. “Thanks.”
“Do you want to talk later? I got some music I’d love to play for you.”
“You play music?”
“Yes. Guitar. I’ll call you late, like around ten.”
“Okay.”
We hung up. And I wanted to throw my phone against the wall. Finally, something really amazing was happening in my life, and I was gonna ruin it.
So, first things first. I had to try to move Jackson’s date. And then I could not accept any more fake dates. And it might be good if I just deleted that viral post once and for all. I clicked on it. I had a hundred more likes since the last time I’d looked. That was incredible. I hovered over the delete option for longer than I should have been looking at anything and then I chickened out. It could stay a little longer.
Maybe that was vain. Maybe I was finally feeling seen. I don’t know what it was, but a part of me liked what was happening, and I wasn’t ready to let it go.
It would be fine.
I could manage my fake dates and time with Pete and keep everyone happy.
Chapter 14
I started my homework. If Pete was calling me in a couple hours, I better get working. All the fake date nonsense could wait a few hours, couldn’t it? I could cancel dates then just as easily as now. It felt like all my teachers had just dumped on us that day. And we had tests early next week. I groaned again. On a weekend that was packed with fake dates and trying to fit Pete in around them all, I really should have been studying for tests.
I hadn’t thought about it since the fake date post, but this was my toughest semester, and everyone told me all the time how important my junior year grades were. Well, everyone had never dealt with a fake dating viral post situation, either.
In the middle of a tough problem in calculus, my mom knocked on my door and stepped in. “Ava?” Her quiet voice penetrated my deep concentration and I blinked twice before turning to her. “What’s up?”
“You doing homework?”
“Yeah, calculus. I really have a lot tonight and big tests early next week.”
She nodded, and I could tell something was on her mind. So I turned all the way around and smiled. “How are you today?”
Then her mouth wobbled a little bit and I stood up and rushed to her side. With arms around her now shaking shoulders, I whispered, “What is it?”
She shook her head. “I’m fine. Really.” Then she laughed between tears. “I’m so sorry to do this to you, but…” Her sigh was long. “I’m lonely.”
I pulled away a little bit and looked into her tear-filled face. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone a lot.”
“No, no, it’s not you. I’m so happy you are going out and having fun and that Pete, he’s amazing. But It’s a different kind of lonely.”
I nodded a little and then stopped. “Like, you’re missing Dad?”
“Yes.” Her answer was hesitant. “I will always miss your dad. It’s more like…”
A deep fear rose up suddenly in my throat and almost stopped my breath. Trying desperately not to let my mom notice, I cleared my throat, but that just came out as a strangled sort of yelp. “Sorry.” I swallowed again. “You’re wanting to start dating.” This time, my voice came out kind of flat-sounding which was better than panicked, which would have been more accurate.
“Maybe?” She watched me, too closely. And as desperately as I wanted to sound okay with the idea, as much as I wanted to make my mom happy right then, I looked down.
“You’re not ready.”
“I’m…Mom, I’m whatever you need me to be. I’ll figure it out.”
“But I don’t want to do this if it’s going to totally mess with your junior year. I know how important this year is. It’s the most important—”
“Mom, I know it’s the most important year. I’m gonna be fine. You do what will make you happy. I want that more than anything.” I could say stuff like that. It was true. I just desperately wished she could be happy without bringing in another man in our life. But I couldn’t tell her that. How selfish was that?
So I just nodded and hugged her again. “I’m sorry you’ve been lonely.”
“It was just so fun to see you and Pete together. And I thought maybe…” She shrugged. “There probably aren’t any men out there that want to date at my age, but it made me wonder.”
“I totally get that.” I patted her again. That’s about all I could handle of this particular conversation, but I didn’t want her to know that. I was gonna need some time and space. And conveniently, I also had a truckload of homework. “And you can stay here as long as you like, but would you mind too much if I did some homework while you’re here?”
“Oh, sure. Maybe I’ll read or something.”
I tried to dig back into my math, but my brain couldn’t connect. My mom. Date. That thought interrupted every other thing that tried to compete with my concentration. Over and over again until I thought I might go crazy.
And then she sat up against my pillow. “I forgot to mention. Jackson’s mom said you two are going out again this weekend.”
“Oh, right. That was before Pete.” I sighed. “I’m not sure what to do about it.”
“Well, you can’t cancel on Jackson. His mother is so excited she’s making some of your favorite cookies.”
“What?”
“Yes, she asked what they were and even wanted my recipe. That is so thoughtful, don’t you think? They’re family acquaintances, you know.”
“Yes, I know. But, Mom, that’s so unfair to Pete.”
“You haven’t made any commitments to Pete already, have you?”
“No.”
“Well, then from what I see, until you do, you’re not doing anything wrong by him. You can maybe not accept the next date with Jackson if you know it isn’t going anywhere. But keep the ones you have.”
I couldn’t get into all the details with Mom. It was just too much to explain. And she was right. But so was Pete. And every other guy I was trying to fake date. Every single person really did have a claim on my time. And now I had the worst job—to decide who to offend the least.
I turned back to my homework. Then Mom said, “Do you think I should get one of those dating apps?”
And that’s when I knew that I would not be doing homework for the next couple hours.
“Do you know of any good ones?”
I sighed. “Probably just the ones you’ve heard of. I don’t know, Mom, what about people at work, do they know if there are better ones depending on how old you are?”
“Oh, you’re so right. I didn’t even think of that.” She looked so hesitant, that I picked up my laptop and moved over on the bed to sit by her. “Should we do a little research?”
“Would you?” Her smile was so relieved I tried to repent of my earlier stress about her dating life. She needed this. I would just try really hard to somehow separate this from Dad.
We started with a google search for dating apps over forty. And that was too broad. Then we looked at the most popular ones I’d even heard of. “Should we just start here and do the free profile? It will be good practice if we find a better one for you.”