Christmastime 1945

by Linda Mahkovec

  She ran up the porch stairs and Clem opened the door for her. She blinked away the tears, refusing to look in his direction. Behind her she could hear the happy greetings to Clem from Joe, Sue Ellen, and Shirley. Joe gave Clem a hearty embrace, and everyone began talking at once, while Eugene ushered them all inside.

  Jessica was still bristling from Clem’s words as she bustled to and from the kitchen to the dining room.

  “There you are,” said Ursula to Jessica. “Thank goodness Frankie fell right asleep. Hello, Sue Ellen! Shirley. Come in.”

  Kate and Ursula greeted the group as they congregated in the kitchen and admired the decorated cake that Sue Ellen carried in.

  “Read it!” cried Sue Ellen, setting it in the center of the table. “We made it specially for you, Clem!”

  Clem came to the table and looked down at the cake. He read the words written in blue icing. “Home Alive in ’45!”

  Joe slapped him on the back. “I knew you’d make it. Bet you’re glad it’s all over.”

  Clem nodded. “That’s real nice. Thank you, Sue Ellen.”

  She waved away the compliment. “We would’ve been here sooner but Joe kept messing up on the numbers. I finally had to do it myself.”

  “I told you to do it yourself,” Joe said. He looked at Kate and laughed. “She knows I can’t compete with her in the kitchen but likes to remind me of it every now and then.”

  Sue Ellen took his arm and nestled her head in his chest, laughing as if she had never heard anything funnier. “It’s true! I always try to get him to do something he doesn’t want to do.” She kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a good sport, Joe!”

  Shirley walked over to Jessica and caught the aroma of the soup. She lifted the lid to the pan and peeked inside. “Looks like your tomato soup turned out well. Can I help with anything?”

  “No, no – just go ahead and all have a seat in the living room. We’ll get you some drinks. She felt Clem’s eyes on her but avoided looking at him.

  Jessica went to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face. She could feel that her cheeks were still hot and didn’t want Clem to think that his words mattered to her. She took a deep, calming breath and went back to the kitchen and ladled out the soup into a tureen. Laughter and conversation floated in from the living room.

  Eugene opened the refrigerator and reached for a few beer bottles. “Clem can’t stay for dinner,” he said to Jessica.

  “That’s his business,” she replied. “He can do whatever he likes.”

  Kate exchanged a surprised glance with Ursula.

  “We’re going to meet over at Burly’s later for a game of cards,” Eugene explained. “Petey and Bob are coming over.”

  “But surely he’ll stay for dinner, now that he’s here,” said Kate, as she arranged the pot roast on a platter.

  Eugene left with the beers and handed them out to Burly, Joe, and Clem, while Ursula offered a few choices to Sue Ellen and Shirley.

  “Cider for me,” said Shirley.

  Sue Ellen gave it some thought. “I wouldn’t mind some of your elderberry wine.”

  “I’ll get it,” said Kate, “and will join you with a glass.”

  They all sat around swapping stories and catching up. When Jessica brought the cider for Shirley, Clem went up to her.

  “Can I help you with anything?”

  “Nope.” She turned and went back into the kitchen. She and Ursula went from the kitchen to the dining room with utensils and dishes for the table.

  Clem sat back down in the living room. Though he smiled and nodded at the conversations, his eyes followed Jessica as she moved about, and his fingers nervously peeled the label off his beer bottle.

  “So, you heard that me and Joe got married?” Sue Ellen asked.

  “I sure did,” said Clem. “Over the summer, wasn’t it?”

  “A June wedding. And these two are next,” Sue Ellen said, pointing her thumb to her sister and Burly. Burly grinned and took a long swig of beer.

  “First, he has to officially ask me,” said Shirley, giving Burly a playful punch on the arm.

  Kate had to laugh at Burly’s discomfort. She leaned back and took a sip of her wine. “You know Jimmy and Gladys are getting married, just as soon as he returns. I guess we’ll be having a winter wedding.”

  “No point in waiting,” added Shirley.

  Ursula gave a nod to Kate, indicating that everything was ready in the dining room.

  “Everyone’s getting married,” said Sue Ellen, getting to her feet. “And starting families and…” Her voice trailed off as Kate waved them into the dining room.

  Clem stood. “Well, I best be going.”

  Sue Ellen grabbed his arm. “You just got here and you’re already talking about leaving? You can’t leave before dinner!”

  Clem hadn’t planned on Sue Ellen’s insistence. He appeared uneasy as she pulled him into the dining room. “Look, a place has been set for you. Now you have to stay,” she said, laughing.

  Kate noticed Clem’s reluctance. “Whatever you want Clem, don’t feel that – ”

  “Nonsense!” said Sue Ellen. “Look at the beautiful spread. Come on, Clem! Have a seat.” She pulled out the chair next to her and patted it. “Besides, you have to tell me what you think of my cake.”

  “Of course.” He sat down and tried to smile.

  Kate placed a hand on his shoulder and sat down next to him. “Donny must be beside himself with joy to have you back home.”

  Clem nodded. “He’s got all kinds of plans for fishing and fixing up the yard. He wants to build a treehouse in the spring.”

  “You’re a good uncle, Clem,” said Kate.

  “And you’ll make a good father, one day,” Sue Ellen chirped in.

  Clem took a sip of beer and looked down at his plate.

  “There’s no getting around it, Clem. A good-looking guy like you will be snatched up in no time!” Sue Ellen laughed at her own words. “Look at that spread! Oh, Ursula, those rolls smell heavenly! Absolutely heavenly. Don’t they, Clem?”

  He looked out at the bread basket and agreed.

  They were soon seated around the table in animated conversation. Jessica made sure everyone had a drink at their plate and then sat down.

  Ursula went around with the soup tureen and began to ladle out the soup. When she came to Clem, he put his hand up. “No soup for me, thanks,” he said with a forced smile. His mouth twitched subtly. “Never was one for soup.”

  Jessica gave a puff of annoyance at his response. “How can you say that? You might not like a certain kind of soup, but you can’t say that you don’t like soup in general.”

  “Besides,” said Shirley, “this is Jessica’s famous garden tomato soup. You have to try it. She made it special, she told me so.”

  Jessica pressed her lips together and passed around the hot rolls. Clem gave a small nod to Ursula and she ladled Jessica’s soup into his bowl.

  “If a guy doesn’t like soup, he doesn’t like soup,” said Eugene, growing sullen. “Eat what you want, Clem. Don’t let them nag you into eating something you don’t want.”

  Everyone began to butter their rolls and sample the soup.

  “Isn’t it just delicious?” asked Shirley. She gave Burly a sharp elbow in his side.

  “Mmm-mm,” he said. “Pretty tasty.”

  Clem lifted his spoon. He stared at the red soup and blinked hard a few times.

  “Jessica, it’s better than ever. I don’t know how you do it!” said Sue Ellen, waiting for Clem to taste it.

  “Soup is soup,” muttered Eugene.

  Jessica regretted making the soup and would be glad when the dinner was over. What a terrible idea it was!

  “Cooking is so much easier now without the rationing, isn’t it?” asked Shirley.

  “Yes. Thank God, the war is over,” Ursula said.

  Eugene asked mockingly, “You think a piece of paper is signed and war is over? It doesn’t work that way.”

&n
bsp; Ursula set the tureen in the middle of the table and took her seat.

  “China, Java – they’re still at it,” he continued. “Not to mention the retaliation going on in Europe.”

  Kate gave Eugene a look of warning. “Well, I for one, am happy that a piece of paper has been signed and that my sons are coming home.”

  Shirley looked up from her soup. “Do you think they’ll be here in time for Christmas? Wouldn’t that be wonderful!”

  “This will be the happiest Christmas in years!” said Sue Ellen. “Have you seen all the lights in town? The town square has never looked so bright and – ”

  A small tapping sound caused the conversation to stop.

  Clem’s hand was shaking, causing the spoon to rattle against the inside of his soup bowl. He tried to steady his right hand with his left and over-corrected himself. A splash of red landed on his shirt.

  Jessica’s mouth dropped open.

  Kate jumped up. “Come into the kitchen, Clem. I can help with that. A little baking soda should do the trick.”

  “Excuse me,” he said. His face flooded with shame as he stood and followed Kate.

  Eugene, Joe, and Burly began to talk loudly about some incident that happened last time they went to town, covering the awkward moment with noise and laughter.

  Jessica rose to her feet and followed Clem into the kitchen.

  Kate finished brushing at his shirt. “There you go,” she said, as if nothing had happened. “Shouldn’t stain. Just come on in when you’re ready.” She returned to the dining room.

  Clem nodded and made a few more wipes at his shirt.

  He didn’t look up as he addressed Jessica. “I hope you enjoyed the spectacle.”

  Jessica wrung her hands before him. “I’m sorry, Clem. I – I didn’t know.”

  “Well, now you do.”

  She saw the open pan of soup on the stove and feared that the color or smell had triggered some terrible memory. She hurried over to cover the soup and, in her haste, dropped the lid. It landed on the stove top with a bang and then clanged noisily to the floor.

  Clem jumped at the sound and held his head. “I can’t do this.” He threw the rag in the sink, grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

  “Clem!” Jessica called and started to follow him.

  Eugene came into the kitchen and grabbed her arm. “Let him go. I told you to leave him alone.”

  Jessica raised questioning eyes to her brother.

  “There are plenty of guys like that. Never order soup because their hands shake so bad. Just leave him be.” He walked back into the dining room.

  Low murmuring filled the table, then a few attempts at normal conversation. “These rolls are light as cotton,” said Shirley.

  Sue Ellen took a helping of buttered carrots. “Ursula, did you see the new bolts of fabric at Arnold’s?” Seeing that Ursula had left the table, she directed her conversation to Shirley. “There’s a bolt of satin the color of raspberry jam and – ”

  “I was there with you!” protested Shirley. “Don’t you remember? I was the one who pointed out that fabric to you.”

  “Carrots?” Sue Ellen snapped, annoyed that Shirley misunderstood her ruse to cover the tension. She spooned a large helping onto Shirley’s plate.

  “Looks like it’s fixin’ to snow,” said Joe. Burly and Kate took up the thread with talk about the storm moving their way.

  Jessica stood at the kitchen window watching Clem drive away. She felt Ursula’s arm around her shoulder.

  “Oh, Ursula,” said Jessica. “I shamed him! I didn’t mean to.”

  “Of course, you didn’t. He knows that. Come back in, Jessica. Put on a brave face – for his sake.”

  When they went back to the table, Sue Ellen was saying that most of their POWs were already gone. “We’re down to one! We hoped we could keep the other two into the new year. She turned to Kate. “I don’t know what we’re going to do in the spring. At least you’ll have your sons to help.”

  “We couldn’t have survived without our POWs. It’s been two months now without Karl and I miss him terribly.”

  Shirley looked up. “What have you heard from him?”

  Kate’s face darkened. “We’ve only had the one letter through the Red Cross. That was over a month ago.”

  Eugene gave a snide laugh. “You won’t be hearing from him anytime soon.”

  Ursula was growing angry with Eugene’s spiteful words. She was determined not to be beaten down by him. “Karl was working on a degree program offered through the camps. He hopes to return in the next year or two.”

  Eugene set his fork down noisily, disbelief and derision filling his face. “That was a war we fought! You talk like they were all here on vacation.”

  Ursula ignored his words and held her ground. “He hopes to be reunited with his – ”

  Eugene stabbed at his food. “Ed said Karl’s from eastern Germany. Now controlled by the Soviets. You better pray he doesn’t get handed over to them.”

  Ursula blanched at his words. She suddenly understood why Friedrich had tried to falsify Karl’s papers.

  “Trust me,” said Eugene. “No German POW will be coming back anytime soon.”

  Joe had quietly followed the exchange. “The War Department announced that many of them will have to put in six months or more of reparation work. Hard to know where they’ll all end up.”

  Eugene reached for the bowl of potatoes. “Six months won’t make a dent in Europe. It’s been blasted to rubble. Those POWs will be doing some backbreaking work for a long time – for a change. And they won’t be coming back.”

  Ursula’s lip trembled.

  “At any rate, Eugene,” Kate said with a hint of sternness in her voice, “we can hope for the best.”

  “Amen to that,” said Shirley. “I hope ours get home safely and can reunite with their families.”

  Eugene opened his mouth to speak but saw that Kate was staring him down.

  Joe took another slice of pot roast and smiled out at the table. “Isn’t this what you missed most, Eugene? Home cooking? I’ve been home for two years and I still think I’ll never get my fill of it.”

  “Not with Sue Ellen’s cooking, you won’t,” said Kate.

  Sue Ellen grabbed at the opening and was soon describing the dishes she planned to make for the Christmas dance in town.

  *

  Later that evening, Eugene sat in the living room, finishing up a letter. He and Joe and the others had decided to put off the card game until the following week. The incident with Clem had affected them all. He stared ahead, added another line, and then sealed the envelope and leaned back.

  Music followed the news report on the radio, scratchy but soothing. Ursula had fed Frankie and was now gently rocking his cradle, and Kate sat next to her, knitting a baby blanket. Jessica rested her elbows on the living room desk as she graded papers, but her attention was on the conversation that began between her mother and brother.

  Kate held out the pale yellow blanket and finished the row. “Clem has a lost look about him.”

  “He’s doing all right,” said Eugene. “Better than a lot of guys.”

  Kate raised her head, waiting for an explanation.

  “We saw Sparky Evans uptown the other night. You remember how lively he used to be? Always up for a good time.” Eugene shook his head. “All his spirit’s gone. You ask him a question and all you get out of him is – ‘I guess so, I don’t know, I don’t care,’ or silence. Like there’s a big emptiness inside him. Sometimes he just stares out at nothing.”

  Kate’s hands stopped. “Perhaps he needs some care.”

  “He’s got his family.”

  Kate knitted in silence for a few moments. “Has he said anything?”

  Eugene tried to remember. “He doesn’t say a whole lot. Never complains. I asked him if he was sleeping. He shrugged and said, ‘I’m having nightmares, so I must be.’ Eugene looked out at the floor, squinting in thought. “The guys on the ground
had it bad. Close up, you know. Most of what I saw was from the sky – which was bad enough. But the infantry…” He shook his head. “I don’t think the war will ever be over for some of those guys.”

  Kate and Ursula looked over at him with anxious eyes. They waited to see if he was going to say anything else. They worried constantly about the effect of war on Paul and Jimmy. One of Paul’s best friends had been lost in the USS Indianapolis tragedy in July, and Jimmy had experienced several close calls himself.

  Eugene became aware of the silence. “Paul and Jimmy are fine. Don’t you go worrying about them. And Clem’s okay. A bit lost, but he’ll be all right. It’ll take him some time to find himself again. Something we all have to go through. Some more than others.”

  Jessica’s eyes filled with tears at the idea of Clem suffering. She tried to imagine the conditions of war. As bad as the newsreels were, she knew they didn’t capture the real horror.

  From the radio, came the lighthearted voice of the announcer. “Private Calhoun said the best Christmas gift ever was stepping onto U.S. soil. Yes, siree, Operation Santa Claus is going to make a lot of families happy this Christmas!” The cheerful contrast was almost jarring. But welcome, all the same.

  Ursula had been watching her mother and read the worry in her eyes. “Paul and Jimmy should reach California any day now. We should hear from them soon. They could still get here in time for Christmas.”

  Kate took a deep breath. “They’re not letter writers, those two.” She sniffed and took up her knitting. “All I want is them home safe. And I hope to God Charles is on his way home. He’s been gone for most of the war. It would mean so much to him and Lillian.”

  Eugene leaned towards the radio and adjusted the dial until he found some music.

  “Especially now that he has a baby,” continued Kate. “A child of his own that he’s never seen! I can hardly imagine it.”

  “That’s true for a lot of the men returning home,” said Eugene. Some dark thought filled his mind and he scowled. “Not like these POWs who sat out the war in comfort. Well fed, cushy conditions, earning college credits – ”

  Ursula snapped. “They were captured, for God’s sake. Why can’t you just leave it alone?”

  “It’s just not right,” he said.