Reality Fix - Lucifer's Crown

by tantan

pleasure."

  "Bring them in," a voice squeaked.

  Mary and Anne entered into the presence of the great Genghis Khan, who happened to be not so great after all. He was a short boy, who had not yet begun his growth spurt. He must have been about ten or eleven. His hair was long and in disarray, resembling a wild bush.

  "Why is he a child?" Anne whispered to Mary.

  "He was young at heart when he died, I guess," Mary whispered back, trying to hide a chuckle.

  "Ah ladies," Genghis Khan squeaked. "Welcome to my camp. You shall be my royal concubines."

  "I don't…" Mary said.

  "Silence!" Genghis Khan squeaked. "You shall not talk until you have been given leave. You," he said, pointing to Anne "will come here tonight to tell me a story. If I do not like your story I shall kill you, so prepare well. And you," he said pointing to Mary, "shall join the other concubines, and learn some proper decorum. Now, you may leave."

  "We have to escape," Anne said to Mary as soon as they were in the concubines' tent. The other concubines didn't give much attention to the two newcomers after the initial 'hello'.

  "I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life telling stories to a brat with megalomania."

  "Shorty will get here soon, don't worry," Mary said trying to calm Anne down. "He'll be here soon. We just have to go through with it till then."

  "He'd better. Or I'm going to lose it and teach that little brat some manners."

  "Don't do anything rash. Shorty will get here."

  "Ha! Thinks he can make me his concubine. I'll show him…"

  "DON'T! We have to wait for Shorty."

  Anne calmed down a little and smiled at Mary. "You're right. You're always so calm and sensible. It's you who should be enraged by all this, after the disgraceful way he spoke to you."

  "Oh. I don't mind. He's young. He'll learn; if those Captains of his don't spoil him too much. As for us, we'll be rescued, so don't worry. Shorty will come." Mary smiled brightly. "And don't you ever forget that!"

  "I won't," Anne replied, and thought 'poor child. She may not show it, but the hope of rescue is the only thing holding her together'.

  "Mary," she whispered, "maybe Shorty isn't our only hope. I've been able to see the patterns. Swirls of colour all around me. And I've been able to do this. I learnt it on my own." She led Mary to a secluded corner and closed her eyes. After a moment a small ball of light danced on her palm, flickered for a few seconds and died.

  Mary nodded. "Yes. We could escape that way, but you will have to learn fast. I don't want to stay one moment more in this place than I can help. I shall teach you, whenever we're free. Maybe I'll be able to draw on my own magic in a few days. I don't feel as drained as I did before. Together, we could escape! I'd like to see the look on Shorty's face when he comes to rescue us and sees that we've rescued ourselves." Mary grinned, eyes bright with new hope.

  Scheherazade

  That night Anne went to tell her first story to Genghis Khan.

  "And what shall I call you?" Genghis Khan asked, as soon as she entered the tent.

  "You may call me Scheherazade, oh mighty King," Anne replied, stepping into her new role quite easily.

  "What story have you planned to tell me today, Scheherazade?" asked the boy Khan.

  "Today's story is called Sinbad."

  "Tell me of this Sinbad," the Khan demanded. "Was he a mighty king, like me?"

  "He was the captain of a ship, oh King." Anne went on to narrate the story of Sinbad, playing the part of Scheherazade from the Arabian Nights beautifully.

  Genghis Khan was asleep in no time, dreaming of battling sea monsters and landing in exotic lands. Anne slowly retired to her tent, and dreamt of the different ways one could torture a certain boy dreaming of battling sea monsters and landing in exotic lands.

  Charge!!! ...Or Not.

  "Al-Out," Shorty said softly, so as to not be heard by anyone wandering nearby. ""Are you sure you want to do this?" Shorty stared at the countless numbers of tents in the distance from the bushes, and whistled. "Looks like a suicide mission, for sure."

  "My name is not Al-Out, it is Akio now," Akio said, in the same pitch and volume. "Al-Out died when he left his brothers, and suicide missions are Akio's specialty."

  "Whatever you say, kid."

  "Akio is no kid. I shed my childhood long ago, on the day Sayonara entered my life."

  Shorty looked at Akio worried. "Well… Maybe you won't get a chance at Sayonara if you go through with this."

  "Ah. I think this is a fitting warm up for Sayonara. If I cannot succeed in this, then there is no point in battling Sayonara."

  "True. Well. You got a plan?"

  "Charge into the middle of the camp and begin the slaughter. There's nothing else we can do. Picking them off one by one as they wander around will take too long. And, with only the two of us, we can't create a diversion."

  "About that diversion idea of yours," Hearthoff said joining them in the bushes.

  "Hearthoff," Shorty murmured. "You took your time!"

  "Good fellow. It wasn't like I expected you to lose your charges to Genghis Khan. Why don't we discuss this diversion idea of yours back at headquarters?"

  Death by Origami

  "All right," said Peter, gesturing for everyone to come closer. "We are the diversion team. Our mission is to run into the middle of the camp and create as much of a ruckus as possible. And have some fun as well," he added. He looked at his fellow team members Guan Yu, Cao-Guojiu, Han-Xiangzi, Lan Caihe, Li-Tieguai, Zhong-Liquan and Zhang-Guolao. "Now, I know you'll all do great. Just remember to have fun, that's important. Now let's get into position and await the signal."

  The diversion team entered the dense undergrowth not too far from the camp, and awaited the signal. A little later a star shot across the sky. A distinctive voice could be heard rumbling as well.

  "I wish you people would stop conjuring me up. Its not like we have nothing better to do than being signals".

  "There it is," yelled Peter. "The wishing star. Charge!"

  The soldiers of the camp were taken by surprise. Dozens of them fell, before they could even get to their spears. Soon the eight diversion team members stood in a circle, facing the horde of the Khan who were circling them cautiously. Arrows were no use against Peter's group. The arrows were harmless, swatted away like flies out of the air harmlessly. And then the diversion team began their attack.

  "2B or not 2B," yelled Cao-Guojiu, throwing razor sharp pencils like darts at the horde surrounding them. Dozens fell to these deadly pencils. "Cowards die many a time," he yelled again flying through the air while kicking the enemy Captain's stomach multiple times. "All the world's a stage," he shouted again and did a tap dance on the tops of his enemies' heads, jumping from one head to the other, felling a man with each step.

  "My turn," Han-Xiangzi said. He took out is flute and played a note. After clearing his throat he sang

  If inside out is wrong

  Then outside in is right

  But how can the outside be in?

  Even were you to dig a hole

  And come out from the wrong side of the earth

  The sun would still rise in the east

  And the pen would still be mightier than the sword

  He sprayed his attackers with ink from a pen he carried while dodging their slashes.

  A few dozen soldiers fainted, either from the sheer incomprehension of the song Han-Xiangzi sung, or from some chemical in the ink.

  [Note: Mostly the song]

  "What? No applause?" Han-Xiangzi asked ruffled.

  "I believe it's my turn now," Zhong-Liquan said. "Nitric Acid Flies over Hairy Oddballs," he shouted, throwing glass balls at the Horde, which exploded on contact. "Well... not over,exactly," he muttered under his breath. "Mantis Sprinkles Hydrochloric Acid," he shouted, spraying the attacking soldiers with acid. The attackers screamed and rolled on the ground in agony.

  "That's enough Zhong-Liquan. It's my turn now. D
on't be a hog," Zhang-Guolao shouted. "Crane Sails over the Golden Moon," he shouted making origami airplanes and throwing them at the soldiers (the first instance of kamikaze tactics in the Afterlife). On contact, the soldiers were thrown back by at least six feet, and lay motionless on the ground. "Huff huff," Zhang-Guolao panted. "Someone else want a go?"

  "Yes" said Lan- Caihe taking a swig out of his jar of wine. "Drunken Monkey falls to Sleep, Oh dear," he murmured faintly. Lan-Caihe fell onto the ground and started snoring. The remaining horde ran away in terror from Lan-Caihe's prone form, expecting excruciating pain at any moment.

  "Come back here," shouted Peter, "we haven't finished yet. Four of us haven't got our turn! Not fair!"

  "Come back," Guan Yu shouted along with Peter. "You cowards haven't tasted my blade yet."

  Lan-Caihe muttered something in his sleep, and snored again, peacefully oblivious to everything.

  Female Mages and Nuclear Reactors

  While Genghis Khan was being secretly spirited away by his loyal Generals, the rescue team covertly entered the main camp, and started their search and rescue mission. "This way," whispered Lu Dongbin, "the concubines' tent is here."

  Shorty ran forward, guns blazing, pumping lead into the two guards outside the tent. The rest of the team followed, trying to keep up to his frantic pace.

  "They aren't here," Shorty scanned the faces of the women in the tent. "They aren't here," he cried. "After all this…they aren't here." Shorty fell to the ground weeping. "Those poor kids. I've failed them. It's all my fault."

  Akio pulled Shorty up so that they stood face to face. "Do not give up hope, friend. We shall still find them. Even if they have travelled to the ends