“That works for me,” Kevin agrees, patting his roller-board carry-on. My shoulders shake knowing his priorities mean it contains his gaming system as well as a change of clothes and his Dopp kit.
“Sounds like a plan,” Maris says. “Hey, Malone?” Both of us turn. She pitches a set of keys in my direction which I catch easily. “Welcome back. I just wish it was under better circumstances.” Her beautiful face has aged with the tragedy we’ve all suffered through.
I nod, but I mentally can’t go there or I’ll just crumble in the front yard. Jed and Dean are both gone; it’s incomprehensible. We’ve lived through so much in the six weeks since their death. And yet, that has nothing on what we’re about to face.
Nothing.
Because four men who loved Jed like a brother are about to find out the secrets that kept Jed from them.
And they’re all because of me.
The next day, Maris and I are groggily sitting around the Smith family kitchen around 9:00 a.m. Juneau time when an actual landline rings. My brow quirks before I ask, “You have a real phone?”
“Oh yeah. With the winters up here, it’d be crazy…crap.” Maris’s checks the caller ID. “It’s Brad.”
Brad. Bradley Meyers. One of Jed’s closest friends. A wash of nausea I decide to attribute to jet lag hits. Calmly, I pick up my coffee and take a sip before saying, “Shouldn’t you get that?”
“I…” Maris stammers. “Shit.” Snatching up the phone, she answers, “Brad.” There’s a pause. “No, everything is handled. All arrangements are made; thank you for offering.” Her eyes drift over to me. “Dean’s family made it in late.” Another pause. “I appreciate the thought, but they’re really not in a condition to meet anyone right now.”
I mouth, “Thank you,” to her, because while I know the cocoon around us won’t last longer than the reading of the will, having this time to acclimate is critical for the mental well-being of my son. Jennings’s son. The son I tried for years to contact him about.
Well, there’s nothing I want or need from Jennings any longer, I tell myself firmly. It was a struggle, but in the end, we made it with more than most single-parent families. We live comfortably in a two-bedroom apartment not far from where I work, and Kevin is well adapted due to the two incredible male role models in his life. And if I secretly wonder if I’m going to be enough to get him through this next stage of growing to become everything I knew he could be from the moment he was laid in my arms, well, that’s on me.
In many ways, I came to peace with the fact Jennings never wanted anything to do with his son long ago because he gave me something much better than a man’s love. Jed believed his friend’s life would be shaken by the news about his son. I have my doubts, but I guess we’ll all know soon enough. I just wish my son wasn’t old enough to be witness if it doesn’t go the way Jed predicted it would. Whereas I’ll leave with the love that grew out of my body and soul, I want Kevin’s heart just as intact—if not more so—than we arrived. Is that going to be possible?
Just then, as I half listen to Maris wrap up her call with Brad, Kevin stumbles into the kitchen.
Everything comes second place to my son: ambitions, goals, dreams. They fade under the glow of Kevin’s eyes when he spies me sitting at the counter. These are the moments every parent lives for—sharing everyday love and aches with a person connected to your soul. Jennings doesn’t know that by his own choices.
Kevin comes directly to me, giving me a brush of his cheek before he goes to snatch my coffee. Shaking my head, I hand it over. “I’ll just go get another one,” I tease, brushing my hand along his jaw.
“Thanks, Mom.” He yawns, mumbling his appreciation.
Maris wraps up her call. “Well, I staved off the welcoming committee,” she announces before turning around and spotting Kevin. “Oh, hey, kid. I didn’t see you there.”
“Welcoming committee?” he asks.
“Some people who knew Uncle Jed wanted to come by. I’m not ready to be social. For the next few days, I’d like to get acclimated to being here, to the time change, to everything.” I tell my son the truth without explaining it all. Not yet. I’ll have to do that soon enough. I’m doing my best to protect him from anything ugly at the moment while his emotions are all over the place.
“Right.” The one word he bites off says a million of them.
Maris and I exchange concerned looks. I open my mouth, but Kevin’s words come out first. “Mom, when are you going to let me take care of you now that I’m the last man of our family?” He puts his mug down with a snap much the way Dean did his entire life.
“Kevin,” I manage. The wound in my heart I thought was healing the tiniest bit gapes wide open. I’m surprised the blood pouring from it isn’t seeping into Maris’s kitchen floor.
“Got no one else to take care of you now.” His head twists to Maris. “And I want to meet your friends. I need to get a read on them to make certain they’re good people.”
I have to clutch the counter in front of me. I can’t breathe. “Baby, you’re just fifteen,” I murmur. “You have years…”
But Kevin doesn’t agree. “I’m the only man left!” he shouts. “The only one. Dean’s gone; Jed’s gone. It’s just me.” The mug falls from his hands, spilling the remaining coffee on the floor. He jumps back, hissing at the heat touching his bare feet. But his green eyes, so like his father’s, don’t speak of anything but agony. He mutters, “I’ll be right back.”
Kevin stalks off toward the basement.
Maris and I stand there quietly for a few moments before she breaks the silence. “Is this normal since—”
“The anger? The outbursts? Yes,” I admit sadly. “The ‘man of the house’ bit? No, that’s new. I’ll have to give his therapist a heads-up.”
“I know I was surprised you put him in therapy right away, but I’ll be the first one to admit I was wrong. God, Kara. What happened killed more than our brothers, didn’t it?”
I nod. “Yes. That wreck also managed to steal the remaining childhood from my son. And you know what’s terrible?”
“What?”
“Should I be more angry two men I adored are dead or that my son is about to deal with more than he’s ready for as a result of it?” I shake my head. “Anyway, if there’s one thing I learned from all of this it’s that I’m not the only one whose love story ended abruptly. I guess being resentful is better than being dead.”
And on that note, I grab a dish towel to wipe up the spilled coffee before excusing myself to prepare for another day of heartbreak.
Jennings
Six days after we heard the news, Kody and I are landing in Juneau. But even as the wheels make that sexy screech on a perfect landing, the tension that normally releases in my body after a flight doesn’t let go.
It’s because we’re here.
Juneau has been where Jed’s family has owned a bar for generations. So, it’s no surprise it’s here he wants to be laid to rest. About five years ago, Jed left the day-to-day operations to his sister after he went on a vacation to Florida, met his now widowed husband, and decided to open a second place there where they planned on spending the rest of their days. The bitter taste in my mouth that those days were cut short has me lengthening my stride as Kody and I leave the tarmac and cross into the terminal.
Feeling like I’m a first-time visitor instead of someone who spent four summers here, I pause outside the terminal to ask, “Shit, I didn’t think—does our cell coverage work here?”
Kody’s blank expression tells me he has no clue.
I’m about to open my mouth to ask someone when a navy SUV pulls up. The door opens and Brad slides out of the driver’s side. “Let me guess? Trying to figure out if you can make a call? Newbie mistake,” he drawls.
“Got it in one,” I admit sheepishly. I step forward to give him a hug. What would normally be a quick slap-and-go lasts longer and has more punch to my soul. “Wrong reason to be back,” I choke out.
�
��Agree completely.” We separate and he embraces Kody in much the same fashion.
“How did you get here so fast?” Kody wants to know.
Brad shrugs. “I drove.”
“Smart-ass.” A small grin tips my lips as I shake my head at him.
Brad continues, unperturbed. “I checked into the B&B already. They said neither of you had made it yet, so I called Rainey’s cousin, who works in the tower. I asked if he minded texting me when you contacted them to approach. This one”—he nods at me—“got a green light, so I headed down. Now, throw your bags in the back. I’ll catch you up on all I know along the way.”
We do, Kody jumping in the middle just like he used to if Jed and Nick were on either side of him. “Rainey isn’t with you?” I ask.
Brad shakes his head as he puts the car in gear and heads south. “No, she’s going to keep the kids at home. This way, we have time for just us. She said to remind you both neither of you had better think about leaving this state without coming for dinner.” He pauses. “I’ll apologize in advance for the behavior of my hellions. They’re thawing from winter hibernation.”
We all chuckle. Kody asks, “Have you heard from Nick?”
Brad nods as we reach a stop sign. “He took the ferry from Ketchikan, so he won’t get here until 2:30 or so.”
“Why the hell wouldn’t he just ask me to…” I halt my own words.
Brad takes his eyes from the road as he accelerates. “Because at heart, Nick is a good guy despite being a prick to, oh, the entire world. He went to lay a wreath at the show.”
“I wish I’d thought of that,” I mumble. Kody agrees.
“Well, since Jed’s the one who kept him from ending up being arrested, it’s the only reason he’s even back in this state. He made it his personal mission to give thanks at the scene of the crime.” Brad lets out a hollow laugh.
We all get lost in memories, good and bad, for a few moments before Kody bursts out with, “If it’s that bad, then why did he go through Ketchikan?”
We pull up to a red light. “If I had to make a guess, Kody, I’d say it was to thank Jed a final time for his life.” Brad eases the car through the light. “But if you want to ask the moody bastard…”
Kody flops back against the seat. “No, thanks. I like my jaw exactly the way it is. I know firsthand how he earned his belt. Remember?”
And with that light-hearted comment, we start swapping stories about those long-ago summers, wishing for time to miraculously shift back so we’d be as carefree as we were then. And so Jed would be with us one more time.
Just once.
Silence descends upon us as Brad pulls up outside the B&B we’re all staying in outside of town. “Here we are.” We all slide out. Kody and I grab our bags from the back.
“What do we need to do first?”
Breathing in the cool Alaskan spring air, I feel the one-two punch to my heart move more viciously than anything Nick could land with his powerful blows. “Drink. That’s what I need to do before tonight.”
“Maybe I’ll arrange for Rainey to get Nick,” Brad mutters, glancing at his watch. It’s only a little after eleven in the morning.
Kody slaps him on the shoulder. “I’ve never known you guys not to be able to catch up. Jed’s the only one who can’t…” The rest of the words are left unsaid.
“Text Nick and tell him you’ll send a taxi to pick him up,” I order as we climb the steps to the pretty blue inn. “Also, tell him the driver might need to make a detour to get us more booze by then.”
The last is said as the proprietor comes to greet us. A warm look is exchanged for one of alarm. Brad quickly jumps in to save us from being thrown out before we’re checked in. “Ron, these are two of my three friends here for Jed’s funeral.”
The wariness is replaced by a look of abject sympathy so strong I have to avert my eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Kody’s voice is shredded when he says, “It was so unexpected.”
“Yet as awful as it may seem, the quick and unexpected sometimes seems easier to those of us who have lived through the prolonged and suffering. It’s all a matter of perspective.” His face contorts as if speaking from his own experience. Holding out his hand, he says, “Ron Hotchkiss.”
“John Jennings.” We shake briskly.
He does the same to Kody. “Don’t worry about bothering your friend with taxis and the like. If you all are too imbibed to pick him up, I can get him for you.”
I turn to Brad. “How did you find this place?”
His smile is laced with all the pain we’re all feeling. “I didn’t. The package from Jed’s lawyers included instructions on everything I was supposed to do, including contact Ron. I just followed them. What about you?”
I remember the picture in my bag. “I only received a photograph and a note from the attorney there would be a will reading after tomorrow’s service.”
We turn toward Kody, who shrugs. “Same here.”
“I wonder about Nick?” Yet even as I say the words, a wave of pain over Jed planning all of this out in anticipation of a death that he never could have predicted was coming practically brings me to my knees. Turning toward Ron, I lift my bag. “Can we…?”
“Of course. Let’s get you settled.”
I’m not certain anything is going to be settled ever again, but I’m more than ready to get started with the drinking portion of today’s events.
When Nick arrives, we’re three bottles in, which is a fairly slow pace considering all we want to do is forget Jed won’t be able to berate us for our childish behavior in the morning. Or ever again.
Dropping his bags at his feet, he gives his thanks to Ron before folding his weary body into the last arm chair in front of the fire. “Tell me you saved a bottle for me.”
Brad passes him an unopened bottle of Jed’s favorite scotch. Nick unscrews the top and lifts it to his lips.
I raise a brow. “You aren’t in training?”
Tearing his lips away, Nick barks out a bitter laugh. “When am I not in training? Someone has to teach those young punks how to fight. But this only happens once.” Pinning us with the glare he used to give his opponents in the ring, he tacks on, “At least it better.”
Kody mutters, “I’m not the one with a suicide wish getting my ass beat by guys half my age on a regular basis.”
As if that pleases him, Nick sits back and resumes drinking.
We catch up before I bring us back around to a topic I’m curious about. “Did anyone else get anything resembling the letter from the attorney like Brad did?”
Heads shake around the small space. “I called and asked Maris about it,” Brad admits.
“What did she say?” I take another pull.
“Just that she was the executor of his estate and everything would be explained then. Rainey wanted to see if we could drop anything by, a casserole or something, but Maris shut us down. She said Dean’s family is in too much shock. She was polite but firm. Said she’d see all of us at the viewing.”
We all spend a moment digesting that because that doesn’t sound like the outrageously outgoing Maris Smith who’s as much our little sister as she was Jed’s. I’m about to ask more about it when Nick pipes up. “I’m surprised his husband isn’t the executor.”
Brad shrugs. “Grief maybe? Who knows?” He takes a sip from his second glass. After all, one of us needs to remain sober enough to drive to the wake. Later I’m absolutely certain he plans on catching up.
Kody shudders. “I just hope it’s not one of those open-casket things.”
“Why?” Brad demands. “It’s respectful.”
“It’s kinda creepy,” Kody counters. “All that makeup and crap they use to make the person look like they’re still alive when all they end up looking like is a wax figure out of some museum that’s preparing to scare the fuck out of you.”
We’re all stunned by the vehemence of Kody’s words when Nick yells, “Boo!”
Kody fumbl
es with his bottle, spilling it all over himself. “You’re such an asshole,” he fumes.
“Yeah.” Nick smiles lazily. “But you know damn good and well if you said that shit if Jed was still alive, he’d have done the same thing—if not worse.”
Kody looks away, but not before I catch the glint of tears the firelight illuminates. “You’re right.”
“Want to repeat that?”
“Fuck you, Nick.”
“Nah, I hear that often enough.” He pauses for a moment before he says, “Though it’s normally, ‘Fuck me, Nick.’”
We all laugh, but my mind is stuck back on something Nick said earlier. “I still can’t believe he got married without us there.” Jed had married his husband less than two years before at a destination wedding in the Caribbean Islands.
Nick nods. “Even when he was with us, he never spoke much about Dean. But I know he loved him, man. From the moment they met on that vacation, he was gone for the man.”
“Wonder why we never met him. I mean, that trip was a couple of years ago now?” I muse aloud.
Brad snickers. “Would you introduce a respectable man to the group of us?”
“You did,” I counter. “Many, many years ago.”
“Much to her lament,” Brad laughs.
“To Brad’s point, I wouldn’t introduce a woman I was serious about to you assholes on a good day,” Nick agrees. “Which is why it’s going to suck meeting him on the worst one imaginable.”
I lift my bottle in acknowledgment. But I’m just grateful Jed had a few good years with someone who made him happy. “He must have been something special though. Jed wouldn’t have fallen for just anyone.”
There’s general agreement around the group of us after which we lapse into our own memories and regrets of time passed.
Finally, Brad stands. “We have to get ready if we’re going to be on time.”
Return by Air (Glacier Adventure Series Book 1) Page 3