“I’m not sure I can do this,” I cry softly. I may be the most practical person in the world but not when it comes to Jennings.
“Yes, you can,” he murmurs, as he slides his strong arms around me. I lean into his strength for the last time for God only knows how long. “We both can, because there’s no flying away from this, Kara. We’re only going to get our old lives sorted so we can determine where we’re going together.”
I hear the pounding of his heart under my ear. “Don’t think just because you haven’t been to our apartment you haven’t lived there.” I pull back to look in Jennings’s eyes. “I’ve been looking in your eyes every single day since the moment Kevin took on your coloring. Genetics be damned. You’ve been with me for fifteen years. Now hurry up and come home.” Rising to the balls of my feet, I press my lips against his while I whisper something I said over and over throughout the night. “I love you, Ace.”
“I love you too, Owl. Now, take Kevin and go. I won’t leave until you’re both through security.” The rasp of his beard against my chin gets moist. Pulling back, I’m shocked by the wetness in his eyes. But beyond the same love, the sadness at our separation, there’s an absolute certainty in us that gives me the strength to let go.
My fingers clench in at his chest one last time before I step back and let Jennings go. Turning toward Kevin, I move away so father and son can embrace tightly one final time. Kevin’s as reluctant to let his father go as I am. Oh Jennings, you’re right. We’re going to be fine but only once we’re all together again. And with that thought, it’s time for us to begin the journey to head home. “Kevin, it’s time,” I say softly.
He shakes his head back and forth in the crook of Jennings’s shoulder. I step forward and lay my hand on his back. “Come on, sweetheart. It’s time to go home. The sooner we do—” I swallow hard as Jennings’s damp eyes lock with mine. I have to clear my throat again. “The sooner your dad will come.”
The two separate. Kevin moves reluctantly to my side. Reaching over, I grip his arm. I’m about to speak when Jennings beats me to it. “Call. Text. But as much as I want to prolong this”—he glances at his watch—“it’s time.”
“Right.” The three of us shuffle over to the agent on duty. Handing over our IDs and tickets, Kevin and I enter the line. Jennings walks along side of us until we’re about to make the first turn.
I open my mouth to tell him one last time how much I love him, but he presses his lips against mine. “I just want to breathe you in one last time,” he sighs.
I don’t waste words when the molecules of air between us transmit everything I want to say better than I can. Once, twice. On the third breath, I press my mouth to his hard and turn away not because I want to but because I have to. I grab Kevin’s hand, and we quickly approach the TSA agent, hand over our tickets and IDs, and walk up to have our bags scanned.
I don’t turn around.
Only once we collect our bags and make our way out of the security area do I glance back.
I can’t see Jennings. I didn’t expect to, but somehow my heart still aches.
Kevin tugs on my arm. “Come on, Mom. I see our gate up ahead.” He steers me to the left.
I start to shove away all of my emotions inside a vault I might dare to open when I’m back in our home in Ponte Vedra—when I know it’s really over. “So, what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home? Set up your gaming system? Maybe see if any of your friends are around?” I ask.
He stares at me as if I’ve suddenly grown two heads in the last ten minutes. “Call Dad. Let him know we’re home. Tomorrow is soon enough to deal with everything else.”
“Right.” We reach our gate and plop into two empty chairs. Kevin whips out his earbuds and shoves them in his ears. As for me, I stare out into the light that’s beginning to edge its way across the morning sky, another indicator this is real. As if I needed another, I think bitterly.
Occasionally, I check my phone to see if Jennings has texted, but I hope he’s headed back to Maris’s to find some sleep. He has to pack up himself before he heads back to his life in Seattle and whatever is waiting for him there. But I still clench the phone in my fist, because it’s the only thing I’ve got left tying me to him, this place. I’m willing it to do something before I board the plane.
About thirty minutes later, boarding commences. Kevin and I stand as our boarding group is called. It’s just like the last time I left. No, this is different, I remind myself. This time I don’t just have Kevin; I have Jennings’s heart. That’s not going to change. Like he said, there’s nothing between us but air.
I cling to that as I wait on the jetway for passengers to make their way to their seats. Kevin lifts our bags into the overhead compartment before allowing me to slip past him into the window seat. We both quickly sort out headphones as people walk past us.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re almost ready to close the cabin door. Please shut down any laptops and small electronic devices and stow them beneath your seat,” the flight attendant drones.
I reach for my cell phone and flip over to Settings. Just as I’m about to flip it to Airplane Mode, a text comes in. My heart lurches as I open it. It’s a screenshot of a countdown calendar titled “Number of Days Until My Heart Beats Again.”
And it’s already ticking down from thirty-two.
A hiccupping sob escapes. I quickly type back. We’re on the plane. And I miss you already. I love you.
Before Jennings can respond, I flip my phone to the required safety mode, stow it in my purse, and reach for my son’s hand. “You know what makes me feel better, Kev? About everything?”
“What’s that, Mom?”
“Knowing Uncle Jed instigated this. That somewhere up there”—I tip my chin upward—“he and your uncle Dean are likely sitting on barstools with drinks in hand toasting each other on a job well done.”
Kevin’s eyes fill, but the tears don’t spill over. “I’ll always miss them.”
I reach up and stroke the scruff he didn’t bother shaving this morning. “You loved them; I expect no less.”
“But Mom?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Is it crazy to say I feel so close to them after talking about them with all of you all summer? Especially Dad?” His face looks worried as if I’m going to immediately call his grief counselor the minute we touch down in Seattle for our layover.
“What I think, honey—” We taxi away from our gate. We both jerk in our seats a bit. I continue. “—is that you got to know them better than before as you were telling stories about them. That’s not a bad thing. That’s called love.”
He looks thoughtful but doesn’t respond. Our flight attendants quickly run through safety procedures before taking their seats. We line up for takeoff.
The engines roar to life. I close my eyes and remember when Jennings took me flying around Mendenhall. Many of the emotions coursing through me are similar to the ones I felt that day: fear, anxiety, nerves. Ironically, they’re the same ones I felt when I left Alaska the last time.
Trust me, he said. And I do.
We race down the runway, and just as the wheels lift off, Kevin leans over to ask, “Do you think you would have fallen back in love with Dad when you were telling me stories about him? Even if we hadn’t come to Alaska?”
I don’t answer him right away. Instead, I study Juneau as we swoop up and over her beauty. I’ve been a scholar, a teacher, and the most important job ever, a mother. And over the course of my lifetime, I’ve fallen in love with both a boy and man. How fortunate for me they both happen to be Jennings.
Calmly, I turn from the dusky rose sky and tell my son what the evidence points to. “It’s entirely possible, Kevin. I’m just grateful we both got to fall in love with who he is now without having to wonder.”
His smile, so like his father’s, tells me it was the right answer.
“Now, try to get some sleep. We’ve got a ridiculous trip ahead of us.”
“You too, Mom.” He puts on his headset and closes his eyes. Within minutes, Kevin’s dozing.
I stay awake for a while as memories of past and present collide. We hit a pocket of air, and the plane dips but corrects itself quickly. What once might have thrown me off doesn’t faze me.
And that’s because of the man who once again settled my heart.
Leaning forward, I grab my phone from my purse. I pull up the last text from Jennings and smile when I think, We’ll be waiting for you with open arms, Jennings. Time stands between us too. Not just air. But hopefully, not for long.
Then I slide my phone back into my purse again before I put in my own earbuds and drift off to memories of the night I spent loving Jennings the night before.
Later, I’ll send him an email. This time, I know he’ll get it.
Jennings
I have a whole new appreciation for the idiom “Home is where the heart is,” since mine is beating three thousand miles away.
If it wasn’t for work, I’d be going mad with the intensity of how much I miss Kara and Kevin. Even though we FaceTime daily, it’s not the same. I miss them constantly.
When I first left for Alaska, I was devastated over Jed. I’ve come back as someone my employees don’t recognize. I’m polite and sociable, but more often than not, my door is closed to outside distractions. I’m driven to get through flights and paperwork, because each day I do means I’m one night closer to happiness.
Whether the people I work with miss the old me, I frankly don’t care. I don’t miss who I was; I just miss the family I made.
“What am I going to do?” I mutter, shoving my hands through my overlong, unruly hair. My office is lit only by the glow of my monitors.
A ping of an incoming email comes in. I sigh, knowing because of the late hour, it’s not going to be Kara. She and I talked earlier before she crawled into bed. She spent the night grading tests and making me laugh with the creative answers she read aloud by her students who “feel they’re too good to read a textbook. Jennings, I swear, if they think I’m tough, wait until they go to college.” She was fuming.
I chuckled, leaning back in my office chair. “So, what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t take Ms. Malone’s AP Physics class?”
Her voice dropped to a seductive purr. “I’m sure we could figure out a way for some after-school tutoring, Mr. Jennings. Since you are much older than my average student, I don’t have to play by the same rules.”
“Jesus, Kara,” I growled as I shifted my hardened cock behind the zipper of my pants. “The minute we’re alone again, we’re totally role-playing that shit.”
“Nineteen days, Ace. And whatever you want, since all I care about is holding you.”
She slays me when she says things like that and I’m not fucking there. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. “God, I love you,” I said gutturally.
“I love you too. Now, go get some rest.” Shortly after, we hung up, and here I am hours later trying to clear my board so nothing can stop me from leaving in nineteen days.
Nothing.
With a heavy sigh, I look at the email. Then I frown. “When did we bid on…” My voice trailing off, I pull up our bid proposal system. And there it is from just under three years ago.
A multiyear charter contract Jed dared me to bid on as a “long shot to expand your business in the southeast. I mean, what’s the worst that happens, Jennings? You win and you actually have to come visit me in Florida?”
“I promise, I’ll come to Florida if I win,” I joked with him over the phone, as I was pressing Submit on the proposal. “Just don’t hold your breath. I’m sure they’re going to go with someone local. That’s how it normally works.”
“Hey, you never know. Miracles happen. But you’re buying first round at my bar for everyone in the place when you win.”
“That’s a deal,” I laughed as I ended the call.
Now, I can’t move.
Fingers trembling, I move the mouse over and double-click on the file attachment. The top-sheet summary acknowledgment of an award of a contract for a billion-dollar company whose corporate headquarters is mere minutes from Kara. The screen blurs as I scan it.
I told you, miracles happen, I can hear Jed’s voice in my ear. “They damn sure do, buddy. Thank you for mine. And I don’t just mean this. I don’t know how you realized we were perfect for each other. But because of you, I have everything. There will never be another like you,” I whisper aloud.
Excitement churns the blood into my veins and through my heart. I shove to my feet and bellow, “Lou!”
The door to my office flies open. “What’s wrong?” she asks anxiously. With my mood over the last several weeks, it could be anything from “I want lunch” to a major part to an engine is missing.
Coming around my desk, I grab my assistant into a massive hug. “I’ll be leaving for Florida. As soon as possible.”
“What?” she screeches, shoving me back a good three feet. “You weren’t planning to head out to Kara for almost three more weeks…”
I just laugh. “This is business.”
“Business?” she scoffs.
I walk behind my desk and turn my monitor around. “Business,” I reiterate firmly. But damned if I can prevent the grin from twitching at my lips.
Her mouth falls open when she reads. “My God. Jennings, this was… You said there was no way…”
Seeing Lou speechless just broadens the smile on my face, the first real one I’ve sported since Juneau. It’s in my voice when I tease, “Now, about my flight schedule?”
“I assume I should cancel all of your flights. Permanently,” she returns dryly.
“That’s a safe bet,” I agree. My mind is whirling in a million different directions.
Just as she’s about to leave, I call out, “Lou?”
“Yes?” She stops and faces me.
“Who do you think is best qualified to run the office here? I need someone I can trust explicitly.” I know damn well who it should be, but I’m anticipating her reaction. After all, this is her chance to give me the mouthful I deserve for keeping my shit together since I left for Jed’s funeral and even after I came back. Lord knows, my head hasn’t been in the game.
Lou doesn’t disappoint me when she storms back up to me, finger outstretched. Poking it in my chest, she barks, “I want a thirty percent pay raise and two additional weeks of vacation. If this works out and I don’t kill you after the first year, we’ll discuss my buying a percentage of the company.” Disdainfully, she somehow manages to look down her nose at me from her diminutive height. “You know you won’t get a better offer anywhere else.”
I want to burst out laughing. Instead, I swallow my mirth when I hold out my hand. “Then you have three tasks left as my office manager.”
Her eyes sparkle, even as she says, “I’m not taking that hand until I know what they are.”
God, this is why she’s so feared and revered at the same time. And why I know when I print out and sign these contracts that will change all of our lives, things are going to be just fine when I eliminate the final barriers between me and Kara. The northwest division of Northern Star Flights will be in excellent hands. “First, call the lawyers. We need them here not only to witness me signing these, but to draw up your offer letter so it will take effect immediately with back pay to June 1.”
Her belligerence fades as her eyes start to shimmer. “Jennings, you don’t have to…”
I keep going as if she hasn’t spoken because I do. She deserves so much more than compensation for her making this possible. I go on. “Second, get someone qualified in here you think can handle your job. There’s things we need to go over, and we don’t have much time.”
A smile breaks across her face. “That’s two. What’s third?”
Dropping down into my chair, I pull my tablet into my lap muttering, “I need to find office space.” Thank God for Jed sending me all those articles over the years. I
pull up the file I saved and go into a zone.
“Jennings! Get your head out of the clouds and answer me, damnit. What’s the third thing you need?”
Blankly, I lift my head and stare at her. Then I remember. “I need you find out what’s taking so long with that jeweler in Jacksonville. I want to know where the hell that bracelet is.”
There’s silence between us. A rare smile breaks out across Lou’s face. “How long do you think you’ll need to get the legal stuff done?”
“I don’t know.” I frown thoughtfully. “Why?”
“Because the jeweler called me back yesterday. He tracked down the sale, though God knows how. After the Malones sold it—and might I add, I hate them?”
“Lou,” I prompt her, though her sentiment matches my own.
“Well, the person who bought it was on vacation from Montana. That owner passed away, and the bracelet is back up for sale at an estate sale in Montana this weekend. If I were you I’d reconsider…”
“Tell Reg if he can’t get in here tomorrow, I’m going to find someone else to get those papers drawn up. I’ll pack what I need when I get back with that bracelet.” I shove to my feet and walk to Lou. Pulling her into my arms, I press a smacking kiss on her forehead. “And we’re telling the lawyers to give you a huge bonus.”
“Screw that. I’m adding a clause to our contract I get to attend your wedding,” she warns.
I smile faintly before reminding her, “She has to say yes.”
“Jennings, Kara fell in love with you,” Lou reminds me. “That hasn’t changed in a matter of days.”
“I know, but…” My voice trails off in a rare show of insecurity.
Lou pulls out of my arms to lean against my desk. Her next statement shows me exactly why she’s been so invaluable to me for so many years. “You have a love that resuscitated itself after so much heartache. Do you know the only thing it needs now?” When I shake my head, she leans into my space and whispers, “Air. Now, set things in motion so you can give it that.” She marches out of the office.
Return by Air (Glacier Adventure Series Book 1) Page 28