by Mór Jókai
CHAPTER II
When a sacrifice is demanded by one's fatherland, it becomes the duty ofevery true patriot to offer himself as the victim.
Consequently, Herr Vice-palatine Bernat Goeroemboelyi von Dravakereszturdid not hesitate to immolate himself on the sacrificial altar when hisattention was directed by his superior to Section 1 of Article II. inthe laws enacted by the Diet in the year 1808. Said clause required thevice-palatine to call in person on those "high and mighty persons" who,instead of appearing with their horses at the _Lustrations_,--accordingto Section 17 of Article III.,--preferred to send the fine of fiftymarks for non-attendance.
Among these absentees from the county meetings was Count Ludwig Vavel.
The Vice-palatine's task was to teach these refractories, throughpatriotic reasoning, to amend their ways. The sacrifice attendant uponthe performance of this duty was that Herr Bernat would be obliged,during his official visit to the Nameless Castle, to abstain fromsmoking.
But duty is duty, and he decided to do it. He preceded his call at thecastle by a letter to Count Vavel, in which he explained, withsatisfaction to himself, the cause of his hasty retreat on the occasionof his former visit, and also announced his projected officialattendance upon the Herr Count on the following day.
He arrived at the castle in due time; and Count Vavel, who wished tomake amends for his former rudeness to so important a personage, greetedhim with great cordiality.
"The Herr Count has been ill, I understand?" began Herr Bernat, whengreetings had been exchanged.
"I have not been ill--at least, not to my knowledge," smilinglyresponded the count.
"Indeed? I fancied you must be ill because you did not attend theLustrations, but sent the fine instead."
"May I ask if many persons attended the meeting?" asked Count Vavel.
"Quite a number of the lesser magnates were present; the more importantnobles were conspicuous by their absence. I attributed this failure toappear at the Lustrations to Section I of Article III. of the militialaw, which prohibits the noble militiaman from wearing gold or silverornamentation on his uniform. This inhibition, you must know, isintended to prevent emulation in splendor of decoration among our ownpeople, and also to restrain the rapacity of the enemy."
"Then you imagine, Herr Vice-palatine, that I do not attend the meetingsbecause I am not permitted to wear gold buttons and cords on my coat?"smilingly queried the count.
"I confess I cannot think of any other reason, Herr Count."
"Then I will tell you the true one," rather haughtily rejoined CountVavel, believing that his visitor was inclined to be sarcastic. "I donot attend your meetings because I look upon the entire law as ajest--mere child's play. It begins with the mental reservation, 'TheHungarian noble militia will be called into service _only_ in case ofimminent danger of an attack from a foreign enemy, and then only if theattacking army be so powerful that the regular imperial troops shall beunable to withstand it!' That the enemy is the more powerful nocommander-in-chief finds out until he has been thoroughly whipped! Themission of the Hungarian noble militia, therefore, is to move into thefield--untrained for service--when the regular troops find they cannotcope with a superior foe! This is utterly ridiculous! And, moreover,what sort of an organization must that be in which 'all nobles who havean income of more than three thousand guilders shall become cavalrysoldiers, those having less shall become foot-soldiers'? The money-bagdecides the question between cavalry and infantry! Again, 'every villageselects its own trooper, and equips him.' A fine squadron they willmake! And to think of sending such a crew into the field againstsoldiers who have won their epaulets under the baptismal fires ofbattle! Again, to wage war requires money first of all; and this facthas been entirely ignored by the authorities. You have no money,gentlemen; do you propose that the noble militia host shall march onlyso long as the supply of food in their knapsacks holds out? Are they toreturn home when the provisions shall have given out? Never fear, HerrVice-palatine! when it becomes necessary to shoulder arms and marchagainst the enemy, I shall be among the first to respond to the firstcall. But I have no desire to be even a spectator of a comedy, much lesstake part in one. But let us not discuss this farce any further. Ifancy, Herr Vice-palatine, we may be able to find a more sensiblesubject for discussion. There is a quiet little nook in this old castlewhere are to be found some excellent wines, and some of the best latakiayou--"
"What?" with lively interest interrupted the vice-palatine. "Latakia?Why, that is tobacco."
"Certainly--and Turkish tobacco, too, at that!" responded Count Vavel."Come, we will retire to this nook, empty one glass after another, enjoya smoke, and tell anecdotes without end!"
"Then you do smoke, Herr Count?"
"Certainly; but I never smoke anywhere but in the nook before mentioned,and never in the clothes I wear ordinarily."
"Aha!--that a certain person may not detect the fumes, eh?"
"You have guessed it."
"Then there is not an atom of truth in the reports malicious tongueshave spread abroad about you, for I know very well that a certain ladyhas not the least objection to tobacco smoke. I do not refer to the HerrCount's donna who lives here in the castle--you may be sure I shall takegood care not to ask any more questions about _her_. No; I am nottalking about that one, but about the other one, who has puzzled me agood deal of late. She takes the Herr Count's part everywhere, and isalways ready to defend you. Had she not assured me that I might withperfect safety venture to call here again, I should have sent mysecretary to you with the _Sigillum compulsorium_. I tell you, HerrCount, ardent partizanship of that sort from the other donna looks atrifle suspicious!"
The count laughed, then said:
"Herr Vice-palatine, you remind me of the critic who, at the conclusionof a concert, said to a gentleman near whom he was standing: 'Who isthat lady who sings so frightfully out of tune?' 'The lady is my wife.''Ah, I did not mean the one who sang, but the lady who accompanied heron the piano--the one who performs so execrably.' 'That lady is mysister.' 'I beg a thousand pardons! I made a mistake; it is the music,the composition, that is so horrible. I wonder who composed it?' 'Idid.'"
Herr Bernat was charmed--completely vanquished. This count not onlysmoked: he could also relate an anecdote! Truly he was a man worthknowing--a gentleman from crown to sole.
Toward the conclusion of the excellent dinner, to which Herr Bernat didample justice, he ventured to propose a toast:
"I cannot refrain, Herr Count, from drinking to the welfare of thiscastle's mistress; and since I do not know whether there be one or two,I lift a glass in each hand. Vivant!"
Without a word the count likewise raised two glasses, and drained firstone, then the other, leaving not enough liquor in either to "wet hisfinger-nail."
By the time the meal was over Herr Bernat was in a most generous mood;and when he took leave of his agreeable host, he assured him that theoccupants of the Nameless Castle might always depend on the protectionand good will of the vice-palatine.
Count Vavel waited until his guest was out of sight; then he changed hisclothes, and when the regular dinner-hour arrived joined Marie, asusual, in the dining-room, to enjoy with her the delicate snail-soup andother dainties.