Again, why?
The practical side of Mallory reminded her of the fact that she had job security up in New York. She did the work of three people and was in demand. Giving that up and moving here to run a beachy decorating shop didn’t quite offer that same security. Mallory was the kind of person who thrived on having a good savings account, retirement account, and all that went with living within her means. To walk away from her 401(k)-providing job made her feel a little uneasy.
Sure she could leave the shop to run with a well-trained staff–one where they could handle the day-to-day operations. Then Mallory could stay up in New York and continue to work her full-time job. However, she’d have to come up with a plan where she’d come down and handle the bookkeeping, accounting, and ordering inventory once a month but…was that something she wanted to do? For starters, it would leave her no time to herself. She’d have to work extra hours every week so she could take the time off to come down here to see to the store. She knew that she’d be exhausted within a matter of months and somehow she didn’t think that’s what Pops intended for her.
Just thinking about the employment aspect of her life was enough to give her a headache.
And then there was Jake.
Throughout her teenage years, how often had she fantasized about having him as her boyfriend? It had been a dream that became a reality and then led to heartbreak. Now that they had finally talked about their breakup, Mallory knew it was for the best back then. It still hurt, but she was mature enough to know it happened for the right reasons.
Reconnecting with him–as a friend–was something she knew she’d do eventually, but this new turn in their relationship took her completely by surprise. Sure, she’d thought about coming back to town, having a steamy weekend of wild sex to get him out of her system, then leaving and happily moving on. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine coming back and reconnecting as lovers who still had real feelings for each other.
And she did. She honestly and truly did. Hell, she’d never really stopped loving Jake. She was just so damn angry at the way things had ended between them. Now he was talking about forever but…Mallory wasn’t sure she could trust what he was saying.
Because he had never said that he loved her.
Three simple words that would make all the difference in the world, but…he had yet to say them to her.
Ever.
It would be easy to convince herself that she didn’t need the words–the feeling and the actions were there, right? But…she really wanted the words.
Okay, she really did need them.
On top of that, there was a tiny little voice in the back of her head that said this was all too easy. After six years, why did they suddenly get back together now? Was Jake simply looking out for her that night and they just fell back into a familiar routine based on their shared past? Did memories of their time together help them temporarily forget that they were grieving? And if that was the case, was what they were feeling right now even real?
“Why am I looking for trouble?” she murmured to herself. Jake was still inside sleeping and she was sitting out on the deck with a cup of coffee, watching the sun come up. It was one of her favorite times of day and she was kind of happy to be out here by herself.
Last night, she and Jake talked about so many things–they’d continued the conversation about his mixed emotions on inheriting the construction business but by the time they sat down to dinner, Mallory knew he was feeling better about it. Then they’d discussed her job back home and how her bosses were really anxious for her to get back. To his credit, Jake didn’t try to persuade her one way or the other, but she knew what his preference was where her job was concerned. They talked about the renovations they needed to do on Pops’ house to make it into the bed and breakfast and how she was going to utilize her newly-acquired shop to do most of the decorating. All in all, it was a wonderful night filled with great conversation and followed with amazing sex. It was everything that could be hers if she moved here and lived in Magnolia full-time.
She was getting nowhere. And the one person she would normally reach out to for advice was gone.
Yeah, she was starting to finally come to grips with the fact that Pops wasn’t here anymore. She hadn’t even read the letter he left her because doing so would make this all too real and permanent. It was something she’d do eventually, but right now her heart just couldn’t handle it.
Taking a sip of her coffee, Mallory thought about the conversations she had with her mom and cousins in the last couple of weeks. At first, all of them were super excited at the thought of her moving back but then backed off. Was she giving off some sort of vibe where everyone sort of knew she wasn’t going to do it? Was she subconsciously doing that?
Behind her, the sliding glass doors from the master bedroom opened and she turned to see Jake standing there in nothing but a pair of dark boxer briefs and her mind went completely blank.
Well, not completely…the word yum came to mind.
Without a word, he held out a hand to her and Mallory slowly walked over to him and took it.
A minute ago she was thinking about the direction of her life, but right now, the only thing she wanted to think about was giving Jake a morning to remember.
Was he tired? Yes.
Was he sore? Also yes.
Would he choose to start every day like this one? Hell yes.
It was safe to say that he and Mallory were back on track. Of course, that would be true only if back on track meant they talked about every topic under the sun except for her moving to Magnolia Sound for good.
It was barely noon and he was on his fourth cup of coffee, still exhausted mentally and physically. All night he had tried to get her to come around to his way of thinking without badgering her about it. He’d talked about the shop and how great she was going to be with it and gave her some suggestions on expansion and yet…nothing. She still talked about commuting back and forth to make it work and how hard she’d worked to get her promotion. Then he felt guilty about even wanting her to pick up and move here and sat back and listened as she waxed poetic about all the things she was looking forward to with her new position.
Did he come right out and ask her to move? No. Did he point out how grueling that kind of commute was going to be for her? No. Was he trying to be encouraging and supportive? Yes. And where did it get him? Nowhere.
“Jake! Can I talk to you for a sec?” Colton called out. He was back over at Susannah’s because they were finishing up the deck today and waiting on inspections.
“Sure. What’s up?” Walking closer, he saw his foreman looking a little more uncomfortable than usual.
Colton was rubbing a hand along the back of his neck and fidgeting a bit. “So um…the deck is done and the repairs on the addition exterior will be done by early next week.”
This wasn’t news to Jake so he nodded and waited.
“I was curious if…you know…if Ms. Westbrook made any decisions on starting work on the interior.” He paused and gave a weak smile. “If she did, then it would be great if we could just plan on staying put and maybe I could go inside and start looking at where we’ll be starting.”
Oh, good lord…
He hung his head for a moment and shook it before looking Colton in the eyes. “So what you’re saying is that you’d like to be the one heading up the next phase of this job, is that it?”
“Yes, sir,” Colton replied with a curt nod.
“I see. And why would you want to? Interior work usually isn’t your thing. You’ve often said how much you prefer working outside and dealing with major construction. This job is going to be pretty confining and more like carpentry at times. Seems to me you’re a little over-qualified for it.”
Okay, he was totally baiting the man, but it was a great distraction right now.
“Oh…uh…normally I do,” Colton stammered. “But because this house is just so…you know…and it was Ezekiel’s and he was always very nice to me…
I think it would be a challenge and something different…and…it’s historical so…”
“And seeing Susannah every day could be a perk,” Jake threw out there.
“Exactly!” Colton agreed and then his hands instantly covered his mouth.
Taking pity on him and placing a hand on his shoulder, Jake said, “It’s okay, Colt. I get it. You like Susannah. It’s not a big deal.”
Colton lowered his hands and let out a long breath as he shook his head. “That was really unprofessional of me. You need to put someone in charge of the renovation who is the most qualified and here I am asking to do it just so I can keep hanging around and getting to know Ms. Westbrook.”
“I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t mind you calling her Susannah…”
“Maybe, but I don’t want to seem too forward. She’s been really nice to me and I know she’s grieving right now and I don’t want to upset her by being rude or pushy or…”
“Honestly, I think being on a first-name basis with her would be okay. She’s pretty laid back about that kind of thing.”
Colton held up a hand to stop him. “Look, you’re the boss and you do what’s right for the client–Ms. Westbrook. I know I usually head up the commercial sites and I’ll keep doing that because the last thing you need is to have to babysit me if I screw this up because I want to try something new. Maybe you could come by my place sometime. I just re-did my kitchen and it looks great and you could see if you like my work and maybe if you can’t find someone who meets all the qualifications for this job…”
“Colton!” Jake snapped, unable to listen to another rambling word. “I get it. You want the job here and I have no problem with you doing it, okay? I’ll set up an appointment for the three of us–you, me, and Susannah–to discuss the details, okay?”
He must have sensed how frustrated Jake was because after an overly-enthusiastic handshake, he thanked him a dozen times and quickly walked away. Jake didn’t let out an easy breath until Colton was completely out of sight. If anyone would have told him that the craziest thing to happen on a job site was that he’d be dealing with a lovesick foreman, he would have laughed.
Although, all things considered, it was a pretty easy situation to deal with.
After that, he met with the inspectors for the deck and everything passed just like he expected. He led them around to the work being done on the addition and discussed the timeline for completion and when they’d need to come back to inspect that work as well. He took several phone calls and managed to handle some small crises without having to get in the truck and go anywhere.
With it being almost lunchtime, Jake thought he’d go and look for Mallory to see if she wanted to grab something to eat with him. He’d gone all of three steps when Marshall Browning, one of the city inspectors, started walking toward him.
“Hey, Marshall,” Jake said, shaking the inspector’s hand. “What can I do for you?”
“Nothing really,” Marshall replied. “Everything’s looking good here. I guess I just wanted to see what your plans are for Coleman.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we all figured you’d be the one taking over when Zeke was gone, but I was curious if you were going to expand? Maybe move westward to the Piedmont portion of the state or even branch out to other states.” He shrugged. “Zeke was pretty intent on staying here in Magnolia and the surrounding towns, but I figured you’d want to expand.”
“I…I honestly haven’t given it much thought…”
“Hell, you could probably do something up and down the entire east coast if you wanted to!” Marshall said with a big smile. “Could you imagine how proud the old man would be if you did something like that? See, if you ask me, Zeke didn’t dream big enough. Everything he did, he did for this town and this town only.”
“That’s because his family founded this town,” Jake countered. “If you ask me, he took pride in that and it was a good thing.”
“No, no, no, I get it. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t hurt to do more! He was a smart businessman and maybe he could have impacted more towns and cities if he had tried.”
At that point, Jake tuned him out. Zeke didn’t want to do anything beyond Magnolia because this is where his heart was–always, right up until his dying day. There wasn’t a damn thing wrong with that. But expanding? Could he really do that? Should he really do that? There would be a lot of research involved to see if it was the right thing for the company. It would give him the opportunity to put his own stamp on the company–something he had been struggling with. Could the solution really be this simple?
“You’re young and you have a degree and there is just so much more you could do with this company, Jake,” Marshall was saying. “I know this is all new, but you really should consider it.”
“I might just do that.”
“Oh, come on now. Don’t be timid! Take control of your destiny! Make old Zeke proud!”
The phone rang and when he looked down at the screen, he knew he had a way to get out of this conversation with Marshall. “Marshall? Always good to see you, but I need to take this.” He shook his hand. “Take care!”
Walking away, he answered the phone and listened to the project manager on the hospital job talk about the shortage of materials and knew he was going to have to take the ride into town to see what he could do. Chugging down the last of his coffee, Jake reminded himself of how much he loved this place and all the challenges that went with it. He knew he wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.
“Okay…I’m really doing this,” Mallory said as she climbed from the car. She grabbed the picnic basket from the back seat and then stood and simply looked out at the landscape.
The cemetery.
With a fortifying breath, she slowly walked toward the newest gravesite while giving herself a pep talk.
“This isn’t weird. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. He may not be able to answer any of your questions, but…this was always our thing and I’m not going to stop just because…”
She stopped in her tracks and willed the tears not to fall. Memories of all the picnic lunches she and Pops had shared over the years came to mind and Mallory knew this was her way of honoring him–a tribute to their relationship–and she needed to pull herself together and do this.
Gently, she laid out the small blanket she had brought with her on the grass next to the freshly-packed earth. Sitting down, she pulled out her sandwich and fruit salad, a small container of cookies and a bottle of sweet tea. Letting out a long breath, she stared at the marker on the ground with Pops’ name on it before she began to talk.
“So…I’m here,” she began, hating the tremor in her voice. “Some people might think this is strange and that I’m maybe crazy for coming here like this but…this was our thing, right?” Tears stung her eyes and to distract herself, she reached for a cookie. Smiling, she looked at the marker. “You always said dessert before a meal was allowed so…”
Taking a bite of the chocolate chip cookie, she gave herself a minute to compose herself. “Here’s the thing, Pops. I’m so sad–like seriously beyond sad. I miss you so much and I’m so sorry that I didn’t come to see you this summer. Looking back, it was incredibly selfish of me and now…now I’ll never get that time back.” She paused and gave up the fight on the tears and simply wiped them away. “I wish I could go back in time and make that decision over again. I know it’s not possible but…there it is. The thing is, I know we talked and you told me you understood and I know you did, but it was still so wrong of me. I was being a brat and I’m just so sorry.”
Reaching for her sandwich, she took a bite and cursed herself for being lame. She knew how much Pops always hated weakness and people who would snivel around looking for forgiveness or approval–the two things she was currently doing.
Swallowing her bite, she put the sandwich back down. “You knew it was your time,” she went on. “That’s why you wouldn’t leave the house. I know you left thi
s world exactly where you wanted to but you have to know you left a lot on the rest of us. Mom and Aunt Georgia are going to be fighting for a long time.” Then she laughed. “Although I think you knew that and I hope you’re able to see exactly how it all plays out.”
Pausing, she took a sip of her tea. “And then there’s Sam. He’s so angry right now but…I think he’s going to do the right thing. You always said you knew what was right for him if he’d only stop fighting and listen. I think he’s ready to listen. Well, I hope he is. I think working in landscaping will give him the peace that he’s never known. He’s really good at it–as you obviously know–and I hope he has the confidence in himself to do this.”
Shifting on the blanket, Mallory ate for a few minutes in silence. There was a light breeze and the large magnolia tree to the left of her offered the perfect amount of shade.
“I’m torn, Pops,” she began again. “I worked so hard to achieve what I have at my job and I finally got the recognition I deserve and…how am I supposed to just give it up?” Unfortunately, there were no answers, just the sound of birds chirping. “I think about working at the shop and helping Mom with the renovations and that excites me like you can’t even believe, but once the house is done, is this really enough to keep me here?”
Isn’t family enough to keep you here, computer girl?
Gasping, Mallory looked around because Pops’ voice was as clear as day. It was the exact thing he would have said to her if he were sitting here himself. And, as would usually happen, his words had her thinking.
“Okay, yes. Being close to family would be great! I mean, everyone would be here–mom, Sam, all the cousins–but…they all have lives! Careers! Can I honestly have a fulfilling and satisfying career just working at the beach shop?”
Seems in my day women were happy to settle down with a man and have a family. Why can’t that be fulfilling and satisfying?
She remembered a conversation they had many years ago when he said that exact thing to her and it made her think of Jake. If there was anyone she wanted to settle down with and have a family with, it was him. And if she could get past the whole omission of the “I love you” from him, she would seriously consider it.
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