by Sadie Moss
At his words, every scar on my body prickled. There were a lot of them, and most of them were fresh. That’s a tall order these days.
Rhys ushered Sariah over to the bed, and when Noah walked over with the first aid kit, the black-haired shifter took it.
“I got this.” He bit his lip, then added. “Fuck. Maybe you guys should go talk to Tara and the rest of the Salt Lake pack. Tell them to”—he grimaced, as if the words tasted bad—“respect Alpha Elijah’s wishes. He’s offered us a place to stay, but we’re still basically just guests here. We need to remember that.”
Jackson’s eyes widened like saucers. “Fuck, dude! Maybe Alexis is rubbing off on you too.”
“I’m not rubbing off on anyone,” I insisted, my blush rising again. I may not be the most worldly person, but I knew that phrase could have more than one meaning. And considering what Jackson and I had been doing in the woods less than an hour ago, it struck a little close to home.
Jackson must’ve read my mind, because the look he shot me was pure sin. Goose bumps shivered across my skin as I remembered the feel of his large hands palming my ass.
He was right. I had definitely started it.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” West nodded thoughtfully, ignoring his pack mate’s shenanigans. “If Elijah’s not going to lift a finger to stop this, we need to do what we can.”
He ruffled Sariah’s hair, and she looked up at him with bright blue eyes that were so similar to her brother’s.
She hadn’t said much since the fight ended. I was sure her wounds hurt like a bitch, although I knew they weren’t deep enough to have done real damage. Her yelp of pain had triggered an instinctual reaction in Daniel not to hurt a cub, and he’d pulled back almost immediately.
But her silence wasn’t just because of the pain. She’d been like this ever since we’d rescued her and the others from Salt Lake, and from hushed conversations among the guys, I’d gathered this was wildly different than her usual personality. The weight of all those years in captivity hung around her neck like a heavy chain.
She offered West a small smile though, and then he and the other two men trooped out the door. As it shut behind them, I sat next to Sariah on the bed.
“May I?” I hovered a hand over hers, waiting for permission to touch her. It was something I’d learned from the Strand doctors, ironically—and a courtesy I was sure the doctors at her facility hadn’t extended to any of the test subjects.
She nodded, and I scooped up her hand in one of mine, unwinding Noah’s shirt from around her forearm with the other. Her nose wrinkled and she hissed a breath as I pulled the fabric away from her arm.
“These aren’t so bad,” I reassured her. I could feel the heat of Rhys’s presence at my back, but he didn’t step in or push me aside. Considering how protective he was of Sariah, his trust in me spoke volumes, and I felt a little thrill of nerves shoot up my spine.
Don’t fuck this up, Alexis.
“If we were in the real world, we’d probably get you stitches for those. But out here in the wild, we think scars are badass,” I teased as I dabbed an antiseptic on the wound. Twisting slightly, I showed her the four ugly pink lines that ran across my left arm. I definitely should’ve gotten stitches for those—they’d healed okay in the end, but the scars were wide and uneven. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure shifters heal quicker than regular people. Molly, that nurse you met? She was amazed at how quick I recovered from my injuries. You’ll be good as new in no time.”
“Thanks, Lexi,” she whispered, using the nickname Rhys had given me.
My heart swelled in my chest with a painful ache, and I gave her upper arm a gentle squeeze. “Of course.”
“Sorry I was stupid,” she muttered, shifting her gaze over my shoulder to look at Rhys. “I didn’t think. I never got involved in fights at the compound. It’s just… out here…” She trailed off, tears glistening in her eyes. “I thought it would be different. That all the bad would go away.”
I clenched my jaw tightly, fighting back the tears that rose to my own eyes. Sariah, like most of the shifters from the Salt Lake complex, was underweight and slightly malnourished, and with her small frame and large eyes, she looked younger than her eighteen years. Hell, she was just three years younger than me, but she seemed like a kid.
She shouldn’t have had to deal with the things she’d been put through. Not any of it.
Rage rose up inside me, burning away my sadness and banishing my tears. But for Sariah’s sake, I did my best not to let it show on my face. She didn’t need more anger right now.
“I’m sorry, Sah.” Rhys knelt down before her, resting his hands on her knees while I wrapped the bandage around her forearm. “I’ll do what I can to fix it. To make it better. I promise.”
The desperate truth in his words tugged at my aching heart. He meant it. He might not have any idea how the hell he was going to accomplish it, or even where to start, but I knew he would do everything in his power to fulfill his promise. He’d spent six years searching for Sariah, refusing to give up hope even in the face of nearly insurmountable obstacles. Now that he’d found her, I could see his determination and single-minded focus shifting to a new goal: to give her a life worth living.
“I know. I love you, Rhys.” Her smile beamed like a ray of sunlight, giving me a brief glimpse of the girl she’d once been. The one who still had hope.
“Love you too, kid.” Rhys rose, pressing a kiss to her forehead before jerking his chin toward the door. “Come on. Let’s get you settled in your room. You need to rest and heal up.”
“Oh, no. I can’t.” Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. “I’m on patrol this afternoon. I need to go. I’m already gonna be late.”
The abandoned military base was protected at all times by a guard unit of shifters that patrolled the perimeter, ready to send up an alarm at any sign of Strand hunters. Both old and new pack members eagerly volunteered to help keep lookout—it was the only thing we could all seem to agree on.
But Rhys’s brows drew together, his expression darkening. “No fucking way. One of the Lost Pack wolves just attacked you. Let them do their own damned patrol today. You need rest.”
“I’m fine, Rhys.” She lifted her bandaged arm, as if to demonstrate how okay it was. “And I want to go. I want to help.”
“No, Sah! You’re not—” Rhys started, but I jumped up, putting a hand on his chest before turning to face the dark-haired girl.
“You’re really okay?” I asked. “How’s the pain?”
She shook her head, her gaze darting between me and Rhys. “It’s okay. I mean, it hurts, but I can handle it.”
“If anything changes—if the pain gets worse or you start feeling feverish—do you promise to come find us?”
She bobbed her head in agreement. I could feel Rhys pressing against my palm, his protective instincts driving him toward his sister. As if he might pick her up, toss her over his shoulder, and lock her in her room just to keep her safe. I kept my hand on him though, gesturing toward the door with the other.
“Okay, then. You don’t want to be late.”
With a grateful smile, Sariah darted toward the door, slipping out and closing it behind her. Rhys’s muscles strained under my fingertips, but he didn’t go after her. He had almost twelve inches in height and a hundred pounds of muscle on me, so I was sure it wasn’t my strength holding him back.
It was my touch, and the grounding it provided.
The sound of the door clicking shut roused him from his frozen state, and he swiveled his head toward me, anger flashing in his eyes. “What are you doing? She shouldn’t have to go! If she gets hurt worse because she went on patrol injured, I’ll—”
“Her wounds aren’t bad. You saw them yourself; they’re superficial. Daniel held back.”
At the mention of the older wolf shifter, the fury sparking in his eyes blazed again. “He’s lucky he did, or he’d be fucking dead by now. Damn it! I shouldn’t have let Sariah get invol
ved in that shit. She’s just a goddamn kid!”
I rolled my eyes. “You didn’t let her, Rhys. She made her own choice. I know it’s hard to believe sometimes, but Sariah isn’t a little kid anymore. She’s six years older than when you last knew her. A lot can happen in that time.”
Rhys shook his head, turning away from me to pace across the length of the small, lantern-lit room. “So, what? Are you saying I shouldn’t try to protect her?”
“No!” Frustration sparked in my veins, and I strode toward him. “I would never say that. I’m just trying to make you understand that you can’t protect everybody all the time. No matter how much you want to. She’s her own person, and she needs to be allowed to live her own life. Make her own decisions. Even her own mistakes!”
I bit my lip, tears burning the backs of my eyes for some reason I couldn’t quite understand. There was a dull pain in my chest that throbbed as I spoke.
“Fuck. I’m just trying to keep her safe.” He threw his hands up. “I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“I know. And I know she loves you for that. But you can’t make all her decisions for her—even if you think she wants the wrong thing. You might think you’re protecting her, but maybe all you’re doing is making her feel weak. Like you don’t think she can handle it. Maybe she’s stronger than you give her credit for.”
My voice was rough with emotion as I spoke, the ache in my chest spreading out to my limbs as I realized I wasn’t talking about Sariah anymore… I was talking about myself.
Ever since the guys had rescued me from the Strand complex months ago, I’d done my best to convince them—and myself—that I was strong enough to handle this sprawling, loud, often terrifying world. But there were still times when I felt like a kid who’d accidentally gotten a seat at the adults’ table and was trying desperately to bluff her way through.
It bothered me so much to see Rhys try to make Sariah’s decisions for her because he’d done the same to me once. And the memory of it still stung.
He and I had never spoken about the moment that had passed between us in the Washington woods after I was attacked by the mountain lion. Things had gotten so much better between us since then. He’d accepted the mate bond, even though I’d been terrified he would reject it; he’d waited patiently for me to recover from my injuries before we left Vegas, and he’d spent hours tending to my wounds and helping me regain my strength.
But that moment still hovered over us like a cloud, casting a shadow over everything.
The words he’d spoken were burned into my memory like a brand. The way he’d touched me.
And the way he’d left me.
The tears I’d been trying to hold back finally worked their way free, slipping down my face. I blinked rapidly as the old wound unfurled in my chest.
“Sometimes when you try to protect someone, you just end up hurting them,” I whispered softly.
Rhys stopped pacing, running a hand through his curly black hair and tilting his head to the side as he studied me. Something shifted in his sky-blue eyes as a look of understanding spread across his face.
“Lexi. We’re not talking about my sister anymore, are we?”
Chapter Four
I froze, panic making my heart beat faster. I really wasn’t ready to have this conversation with him. Things had been going fine between us. They were good. Why mess all that up by dredging up old bullshit?
Because if you don’t dredge it up, it’ll just linger and fester, a little voice in my head whispered.
But, like a coward, I refused to listen.
“Yes, we are. I just—I just think you need to give Sariah a little room to find her own way. That’s all.”
“No.” His eyes were focused on me like blue laser beams, burning through my clothes, my skin, all the way down to my soul and the secrets contained inside it. “That’s not it. You’re talking about you. And me.”
I shook my head, turning away from his piercing gaze and heading toward the door. “It’s nothing. Let’s just drop it. We should go find the others—”
“Sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for not taking you in the woods that night.”
His voice was low and rough, and his words stopped me in my tracks like a hook around my waist. Nerves churned in my stomach, even as warmth spread lower inside me. I turned slowly to face him and saw him advancing toward me like a predator, an intense look in his eyes.
“Why?” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if I was asking why he’d stopped that night or why he regretted it. Maybe both.
Heat seemed to radiate from his body as he neared, and I found myself unconsciously backing up until I pressed against the door behind me. I tilted my head up, feeling small and vulnerable as his large frame invaded my space.
“I didn’t want to hurt you.” He grimaced, a flash of self-recrimination crossing his features. “Fuck. I didn’t think that would be the thing that made you hurt. Me trying to protect you.”
“It did.” There was no bite to my words, just simple honesty.
His jaw clenched, and he leaned down slightly, bringing his head closer to my eye level. He was still staring at me with an expression that was almost angry.
“I love Noah. Like a fucking brother. But I hate that he got to have something with you that I never will. Sometimes I can’t even stand to think about it.”
I swallowed, the action difficult as my mouth suddenly dried out. “Do you… wish it had been you?”
“Every fucking day, Lexi,” he growled.
“I wanted you, Rhys,” I admitted softly. “So much. And maybe it would’ve been a mistake, but I wish you’d let me make that mistake.”
His eyes darkened, the bright blue taking on a midnight hue as his hands came up to rest on the door on either side of my head, boxing me in. His presence surrounded me, trapping me where I stood, and my heart fluttered like a bird in a cage.
“Do you think about that night, Lexi? Do you imagine what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped?”
I nodded, barely conscious of the movement. My core throbbed as an ache built inside me.
Yes. I had thought about that night. So, so many times. I could replay every second of it in my head—and had often let my imagination wander beyond that, had played out a whole different scenario in my head where Rhys fucked me against that tree until neither one of us could move.
“What would it’ve been like if I hadn’t?” he murmured, his voice growing rougher as he dipped his head even more, bringing his lips within a hair’s breadth of mine. “Show me, Lexi. What would you have done?”
When I moved my lips to speak, they brushed against his, that slight contact making my nerve endings buzz like live wires.
“This…”
Without waiting for permission, I slid my arms around his neck and leaned into him, kissing him hard. His mouth opened to my probing tongue, our lips and teeth colliding as our bodies strained toward each other. The kiss stole my breath, making my heart beat harder and my head spin.
Just like it had in the woods that night, his touch lit me on fire, and I whimpered into his mouth as his hands skated down my sides. I could feel his cock pressing into me, already hard and straining against the confines of his pants. It only made me burn hotter, the sweet promise of what might finally come making me kiss him with an almost manic need.
Yanking my hands away from his neck, he pressed them to the door next to my head, tearing his mouth away from mine. His lips were swollen, and his chest heaved with deep breaths. I fought against his hold on me, wanting more of his lips, more of his muscled body pressed against mine. But he held me firmly, staring down at me with a challenging expression.
“That night? You weren’t wearing a shirt.” His gaze locked on mine as he released my wrists and grabbed the hem of my t-shirt. Keeping the backs of my hands on the door, I slid them up the cool surface, letting him peel it off over my head.
“And you weren’t wearing anything,” I retorted with a small
smile, leaning back against the door as he tossed the garment aside.
My arms were still raised over my head, and it somehow made me feel more exposed—more vulnerable. But the thrill of nerves that skated down my spine seemed to end at my clit, making it throb as my nipples peaked.
Rhys’s nostrils flared, but he stepped back farther. Slowly and deliberately, he drew his shirt over his head, then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants before kicking off his boots. When he pushed his pants down over his lean hips and firm ass, his cock sprang free, hard and standing at attention. My gaze locked on it, my tongue darting out to lick my lips as I remembered what it had looked like that night.
Slick with precum, glistening in the shadowy moonlight.
A quiver wracked my body and my core clenched involuntarily. Rhys must’ve liked that response, because before I could blink, he was on me again, claiming my lips in a fevered kiss as his hands roamed my skin. One large palm cupped my breast, and my nipple puckered into a hard bud, as if straining for more of his touch.
He obliged, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger as he dipped his head to suck on the other one, teasing it with his teeth.
“Oh God! Rhys!”
Both hands latched onto his head, securing him right where I wanted him as jolts of electricity traveled from my nipple all the way through my body. His chuckle vibrated against my skin, and when he looked up, a possessive satisfaction blazed in his eyes.
“You liked it that night too. I remember the noises you made. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more perfect sound.”
I was panting for breath, my skin flushed and sensitized all over. But I knew what was coming. I’d relived that entire night over and over in my head—the best parts and the worst parts.
And we were about to get to a very, very good part.
As if he could read my thoughts, Rhys quirked a wicked smile, cocking his head. The hand that had been on my breast trailed slowly over my shoulder and down my arm until he grasped my smaller hand in his larger one. He lifted it to my face, hovering my palm in front of my lips.