by Sadie Moss
“Jesus, Alexis. I can’t hold on much longer. You’re too fucking sweet.”
An inarticulate sound fell from my lips, half laugh, half sob.
I didn’t want him to hold on.
I wanted him to lose control, to lose himself in my body. To use me for his pleasure. I dug my fingers into his hair, nails scratching his scalp, and forced my eyelids open.
His gaze locked on mine, and whatever he saw in the depths of my eyes pushed him over the edge.
He gave a hoarse cry, dropping his head to devour my mouth in a searing kiss as his cock thickened and pulsed inside me, flooding me with his release. His orgasm spurred my own, and I let myself topple into the abyss after him, drowning in the perfect sounds that rumbled from his throat. He thrust into me a few more times, his whole body shaking as he came down from the high.
When I regained my senses, I was sprawled awkwardly against the boulder, goose bumps dappling my exposed skin, wet hair sticking to my face and shoulders. My legs shook, even though I hadn’t been the one doing any of the heavy lifting. But I had wrapped them around him so tight, I knew I’d feel it in my muscles tomorrow.
“Holy… Fucking… Shit.”
Each of Jackson’s words was punctuated by a gasping breath. His head rested next to mine, our cheeks pressed together.
I chuckled. “Can you walk?”
“Definitely not. Guess we’ll just have to stay here forever. Oh well.” He turned his head slightly, nuzzling into me and pressing lazy, wet kisses to my neck.
A pleased noise escaped from my lips as I tilted my chin, giving him better access. “What about the other guys?”
“Eh, they can come join us. We’ll all live in this lake and become water wolves. Like mer-people but with more fur.”
That drew a full-throated laugh from me, and he must’ve liked what that did to my body, because he growled hungrily, nipping at my skin.
Finally, he patted my leg with one hand, and I loosened my hold on him enough for him to withdraw his softening cock. I found the ground below my feet, standing on my tiptoes to keep my shoulders and neck out of the water.
“You want to go back?” Jackson asked, cupping my face with his hand.
I shook my head. We would have to soon. My other mates would start to worry eventually, and I didn’t want them combing the woods at night in search of us. But I wasn’t quite ready to leave this calm and peaceful place yet.
My beautiful, rugged shifter smiled down at me. Then he wrapped his arms around me again, carrying me through the water as he brought me closer to shore. We scrambled up onto a flat rock near the edge of the lake, shedding water as we went. My wet skin broke out in goose bumps, and Jackson wrinkled his nose.
“Shit. I wish I had a blanket or something. Or that we could sprout fur in our human forms.”
I tried to imagine the man before me covered in the white fur of his wolf, but with nothing else wolf-like about him. “Ugh. I’m glad we can’t. I doubt we’d ever have a shot at passing in the human world if we looked like that.”
We settled on the rock, and Jackson pulled me into his body, wrapping his arms and legs around me from behind like a living blanket. We were both still wet, but his skin was warm and the night air didn’t have much bite.
“Is that what you want? To pass in the human world? To go back to that someday?” he asked softly, resting his chin on my shoulder.
I interlaced my fingers with his, moving our joined hands in lazy circles. “I don’t know, honestly. This life, here? What Alpha Elijah has created? I respect his vision of giving shifters a safe place to hide, but no matter what, that’s all it will ever be. A hiding place. And I don’t know if that’s enough.”
“Yeah. I get that.” He chuckled. “When the guys and I were locked up in San Diego, I used to drive them nuts listing all the stuff I missed from the outside. And a lot of them were human things. Strand might treat us like animals, but we’re not.”
“How old were you when you were taken?” I whispered.
His body tensed behind me, his fingers tightening in mine. “Eight.” He paused. “I had just turned eight when they took me. I don’t remember my mom very well, but I know she loved me. She got stuck doing shitty things to make ends meet, and the state decided she wasn’t fit to keep me. I ended up in foster care for a little while, but I ran away from my second family. Strand picked me up off the street.”
My stomach twisted. My ‘mother’ had betrayed me in every way possible, but I didn’t know if that was better or worse than being ripped away from a parent who actually cared. “Did you… did you ever look for your mom? After you escaped the San Diego complex?”
“I tracked down records of her. It was one of the first things I did after we got to Vegas. She died the year I turned fifteen.”
“I’m sorry, Jackson. That’s awful.”
“Yeah. I can barely remember her anymore. I mean, I can, but it’s just… bits and pieces.” He sighed, his breath tickling my ear. “You know what I think about sometimes?”
“What?”
“Us. You, me, Rhys, Noah, and West. Living together somewhere—like a family. We have a house with tons of rooms, and we cook together and eat huge meals around a big table. Sariah lives close by, and she comes over all the time. Maybe she has a mate of her own. And we all shift and hunt together sometimes too, or sneak off to howl at the moon. We’re not running. We’re not fighting. And we’re not scared. We’re just…” He trailed off, and I could feel him shrug behind me. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
“That’s not stupid, Jackson.” I blinked back the tears that pricked my eyes, pulling his arms tighter around me. “It sounds incredible. I wish we could have that someday.”
He didn’t say anything, and I could feel his heart beating hard against my back. It occurred to me that even though Jackson was the most optimistic, cheerful person I’d ever met, that didn’t mean he wasn’t burdened by the same pain the rest of us were. His hope didn’t negate all the bad stuff, it just made it easier to cope with.
I made a silent vow not to lean too heavily on his optimism, and to bolster it with my own whenever I could. It was more fragile than I’d realized, and I never wanted to see it break.
Some days, it was hard to imagine things would ever get better than this, that we would ever truly be free. But we had to keep hoping, keep trying. The day hope died would be the day we started to die too—the long, slow death of a life with zero expectations.
“So, tell me,” I said, moving our conversation to lighter topics as I turned my head to kiss his cheek. “Are you guys secretly master chefs? I noticed you all really have a thing for cooking shows. What kind of cuisine should I be expecting at these family dinners?”
He laughed, and his body relaxed behind mine. “Well, none of us have ever really had the time or all the proper equipment or anything. But I’m pretty sure we’d be awesome at it. I know all about different flavor profiles and cooking techniques and stuff.” He shifted his hold on me, cupping my breasts in his hands and drawing a gasp from my lips. “And if all else fails, we’ll just make hamburgers all the time. I know how you demolish those.”
I squirmed in his grip, turning around to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him until my lips tingled.
We stayed like that for another hour, wrapped up in each other, telling tales and making wild plans for what our lives would be like someday. And maybe it was all made up, just an unattainable dream.
But for tonight, I wasn’t sure it mattered.
Chapter Ten
“I love how Alpha Elijah treats all of us newcomers like second class citizens, but when it comes to doling out chores, suddenly we’re all totally equal,” Jackson grumbled as we all headed down the hallway leaving our barracks. The morning sun would be shining outside, but the corridor was dimly lit as always.
“Shh.” West shot a glance behind us, even though the alpha’s quarters were several buildings away.
“Oh, right. Wouldn’t
want him to overhear me and decide he hates us even more. If that’s even possible.”
Jackson cracked a smile, nudging my arm. Despite his words, happiness sparked in his amber eyes, and I knew mine had a matching glimmer.
I wasn’t sure if my other mates knew what had happened between the two of us last night, but I was positive they could guess, given the almost visible glow emanating from me and Jackson this morning.
Rhys and Noah exchanged a knowing look ahead of us, but West seemed more withdrawn than usual. I could feel his gaze on me, but whenever I glanced over at him, he was deliberately focused somewhere else. My wolf whined in agitation inside me, and I could feel her dominating presence prickling underneath my skin. She didn’t understand any of the reasons keeping West and me apart; as far as she was concerned, it was simple.
He was mine.
I was his.
That was the end of it.
Sorry, girl. I wish it really was that easy.
With every deeper connection I forged with one of my other mates, the distance between me and West seemed to grow by contrast, and I didn’t know how to breach it, or whether I should even try. I’d told him to take whatever time he needed, and I would never forgive myself if I ruined whatever chance we might have by pushing him too hard.
“Speaking of which, what did we miss last night? Anything important?” I asked, wrenching my gaze away from West’s profile as he walked beside me.
“Not too much.” Noah glanced back at me as Rhys slung an arm around Sariah’s shoulder. “Elijah did lay down a few more rules that should help keep the Salt Lake City shifters safe and cut down on territory disputes. Then there were a few other pieces of pack business, but nothing ground-breaking.”
“He definitely noticed you walk out,” Rhys added, a note of pride in his voice. “And he wasn’t happy about it. Especially not when a bunch of others walked out too.”
A pleased flush rose to my cheeks at Rhys’s admiration, but I shook my head. It had probably been stupid to risk angering the alpha like that. Jackson had slipped away to find me, and I’d noticed the two new shifters leave as well. If more wolves had followed my lead and left the meeting, I was sure Elijah had taken it as a personal affront.
Although if I had stayed, there was a good chance I would’ve blurted out something that would’ve pissed him off more.
Shit. My mates really are rubbing off on me.
I couldn’t find it in me to regret that though. They were four of the best men I knew—the world could use more people like them in it.
Noah pulled the door open, and we all spilled out into the warm sunshine. I blinked in the light, suppressing a yawn. Jackson and I had made it back late last night, and he’d insisted I take the bed with Rhys before curling up in a pile of blankets on the floor. I’d slept well, just not enough.
“Val wants us to work with Marcus and Walker today,” Noah said, raising a hand to shade his eyes. “They need to be brought up to speed on everything, and she wants to see what kind of fighters they are.”
“Ask them if there were any changes in the last month—if they noticed anything different before they got out.” I chewed my lip. “I wonder if shifters in the compounds even know that Terrence Cole died—is Doctor Shepherd running things differently now that he’s in charge?”
“Sure, Scrubs. We’ll ask.” Noah tilted my chin up with the knuckle of one hand before pressing a kiss to my lips. “You and Sariah are on washing duty?”
I grimaced. “You know it. Fun times.”
He let out a soft chuckle, stepping back to let Rhys take his place. The black-haired shifter had his curly locks pulled back this morning, and his eyes were a brighter blue than the sky.
“Keep an eye out for her,” he murmured quietly, shooting a glance in his sister’s direction, and I nodded.
“Always.”
Rhys palmed the back of my head, swooping in for a kiss, but he froze suddenly, his lips half an inch from mine. His fingers moved across the hard knot at the base of my skull as his eyes narrowed.
I hissed a breath as he poked at the lump. “Ow.”
His lips pressed into a line, and he turned around to face the others, his hand still threaded through my hair, although his touch was exceedingly gentle. “What the fuck is this?”
“It’s just a bruise, Rhys.” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah. I’m aware of that. How the fuck did it get there?”
“Ummm.” Jackson’s gaze darted sideways, and Rhys cursed.
“For fuck’s sake! We leave you two alone for two minutes, and she gets injured.”
“Hey, it was longer than two minutes!”
The affronted look on Jackson’s face made me chuckle, and I reached up, pulling Rhys’s hand away from my head. “I’m okay. Really. It was a… minor accident. I barely even felt it. And since I met you guys, I’ve been shot, clawed, and tossed around the inside of a speeding ambulance. This was nothing.”
Rhys’s face darkened further, and I realized pointing out all the other ways I’d almost died probably hadn’t been the right call. I brought his hand to my lips, kissing his palm.
“I’ve also been loved, healed, and protected. And look at me. I’m still here, happy and whole.”
Emotion burned in his brilliant blue eyes, and he tugged me forward, kissing the breath out of me. When he finally released me, he turned to Jackson and landed a solid punch on his arm.
“Ow!” Jackson danced away, shooting him a look of wounded innocence. “What was that for?”
“One bruise for her, one bruise for you. Seems fair.”
“Dick.”
Rhys just shot him a smug look. Jackson eyeballed the distance between us before darting forward to press a quick kiss to my lips. “See you later, Alexis. Love you.”
My heart warmed at his words. Not just that he’d said them, but that they’d fallen from his mouth so casually, so easily. As though his love was an unquestionable fact.
West stepped forward awkwardly before he settled on giving me a small nod. The warmth in my chest faded a little, but I forced a smile to my face as I nodded back. Time, Alexis. Give him time.
He would come back to me someday. I had to believe that.
The men all took off in the direction of Marcus and Walker’s quarters, and I turned to Sariah. She’d been mostly silent as usual this morning, although she always seemed to like being included in the group. And Rhys went out of his way to make sure she was included, his anxious gaze never leaving her for long.
“You ready?” I asked.
She nodded, and we headed toward the laundry facilities. They no longer worked, of course—this base had been out of use for years, by the look of it—but we still used the building to store the washing supplies. Loaded down with sheets, blankets, and homemade soap, we made our way out of camp to a small stream that ran nearby. We left the baskets on shore and waded into the stream where a few bumpy rocks served as effective washboards. I got to work rhythmically pressing and wringing a large sheet and was almost lost in the monotony of my task when I noticed Sariah staring at me.
“What?” I glanced up at her then scanned the surrounding woods, a spike of worry making my heart jump.
She shook her head, her black hair tumbling around her face. “Nothing. Nothing. It’s just… you’re really his mate, aren’t you?”
“Rhys’s?”
She nodded, her blue eyes huge in her thin face.
“Yeah, I am. He’s mine. Or—we’re each other’s.”
“And so are Jackson, Noah, and West?”
My cheeks burst into flames. “Uh… yeah.”
“Is it strange?”
A prickle of nervousness worked its way down my spine. The men and I made no attempt to hide our relationship. This kind of five-way relationship wasn’t all that common in the human world, and it wasn’t exactly common among shifters either. But no one had questioned it, and I’d assumed Sariah knew exactly what was going on. What if she didn’t approve? W
ould it change how Rhys felt about me?
“Um, it was a little strange at first. It took a little getting used to, but that was only because I kept overthinking it. Now it really doesn’t feel odd anymore.” I wadded up the wet sheet in my hands, looking over at her. “Did you not know Rhys and I were mates? Or the others?”
She shrugged, casting her gaze down. “I thought so. But I wasn’t sure. Strand was always doing experiments, manipulating everything… I just wanted to make sure this was real. To look out for my brother, the way he always looks out for me.”
My chest squeezed so hard I couldn’t breathe. A rush of sorrow in my heart was drowned out by the tidal wave of rage that crashed over it.
Fuck Strand. Fuck Doctor Shepherd, and every one of the doctors and lap dogs who works for him.
They had put this look on Sariah’s sweet face. They had taken away everything she thought she knew and replaced it with fear and doubt.
“Sariah,” I said slowly, willing my voice not to break. “I love your brother. I love his pack mates. Our bond is real—I know it. And even without the mate bond, I would still love them more than anyone I’ve ever known. I’ve only known them three months, and there’s so much more for us to learn about each other. But I’ve seen what good men they are. And I will never abandon or betray them. I promise.”
A small, shy smile tilted her lips. She dipped the sheet she’d been clutching into the cool water, letting out a breath. “Good. I’m glad he has someone like you.”
“I’m glad he has you too, Sariah. He loves you so much.”
She flushed, and her smile broadened, beaming like the sun as a look of hero-worship crossed her face. “He always looked out for me, you know. Even before… before Strand. He used to try to keep me and Mom safe from Dad. When Dad got really mad, Rhys would tell me to hide under the table till it was over.”
Her face clouded over again, and I stopped even pretending to wash the sheet I was holding, letting the ends stream away from my grasp as the rippling water tugged at them.
“Your dad was abusive?” I asked softly.