“Jasmin, we’re leaving.”
Standing up, he handed Bella a few bills to pay for their desserts. He didn’t wait for Jasmin to pull on her jacket. He walked straight out the door and didn’t look back. Her hurried footsteps behind him told him she was running to catch up.
“What is wrong with you?” she shouted. “Here I am trying to help you and you just get up and leave mid-conversation. You’re so rude!”
He stopped dead and turned to face her. “Me? I’m rude? Was I the one asking a complete stranger personal questions? Was I the one making inappropriate and embarrassing comments? No, Jasmin. That was you! I don’t need your help when it comes to women. We’re not frat brothers. We’re not two buddies having a night out on the town and picking up chicks.” He turned on his heel and carried on walking to the motel. “You are not my wing-man.”
“Yeah, you’re lucky I’m not,” she said from behind him. “With my big shlong, women wouldn’t even give you a second look. You wouldn’t stand a chance competing against me, Son.”
He stopped again, but didn’t turn around. Something happened whenever she called him Son. It softened him, instantly, immediately. How strange. She could rile him up so quickly and calm him down just as fast. The anger and aggression simply melted away and he couldn’t understand how it happened. Maybe it was the sheer ridiculousness of it all. She used a condescending tone, like she was older and wiser, and her penis envy only made it more absurd. It got him every time and he found himself grinning as she closed the gap between them.
“Oh, wow!” she gasped. “Either that’s another face spasm or…you’re smiling again. Told you, your grumpiness is just a mood.”
He rolled his eyes. “I can’t tell you how many times I think about strangling you.”
“Triple S. It’s understandable. It makes a lot of men aggressive.”
“What’s triple S?”
“Small Shlong Syndrome.”
That actually earned her a small chuckle. Credit needed to be given. No one except Kay had been able to get a smile out of him in three months.
They stopped outside her motel room and he felt like stalling the inevitable for a little longer. A few minutes ago, he couldn’t wait to get away from her and now he wasn’t ready to say goodnight. He didn’t want to be alone just yet. As soon as his brain registered the silence, the memories came back, the guilt started eating at him, and he just wanted to feel something else, anything else. She could do that. In fact, she did it effortlessly. Whether it was good or bad, she made him feel something other than pain.
“I thought mine was kinda average,” he teased.
“Pffft! Compared to mine, it’s tiny.”
He smiled again. “You have a serious identity crisis.”
“Well, we have a long road ahead of us. Maybe I’ll find myself along the way.”
November, 8
Salt Lake City, Utah
The entire day was dedicated to sightseeing. They were going to leave Utah the next day and Jasmin wanted to see as much as possible. Kevin wasn’t grumpy today and it was refreshing to know that they could actually spend hours together without having an argument. He was actually nice to be around when he wasn’t rude or overly sarcastic. Still a little withdrawn and he didn’t talk much, but he was a lot more relaxed now than he had been in the last two days.
Everything she wanted to see in the city was in close proximity, which made it easier to bounce around from place to place. They went to the planetarium and the Fort Douglas Military museum. They visited bookstores and gift shops. At the Cathedral of the Madeleine, she discovered they had another thing in common: they were both Catholic, though neither of them went to church every Sunday.
Overall, it was an incredible day and her excitement bubbled over as she chatted to her cousins that night. She told them everything, right down to the smallest detail and even though they were a little skeptical about her new travel buddy, they’d shared in her enthusiasm. She was having the time of her life and despite the fact that Kevin wasn’t the most fun companion, she was glad she wasn’t experiencing it alone.
November, 9
Provo, Utah
Kevin removed the gas pump from the car and slotted it back in place. South Africa apparently had petrol attendants who washed the windshield, filled the tank, and checked the tire pressure, so Jazz had no clue how to do those things. She probably would have learned how to do it as she went along, but he still wondered exactly how much thought she’d put into this trip before she hopped into the car. It seemed to be a very impulsive decision on her side, as impulsive as his.
It was past noon already and he was anxious to get back on the road. They’d made a quick stop in Provo to see the Bridal Veil Falls and Jasmin’s definition of quick was three and half hours. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate seeing all these fascinating things, he did, but his ultimate goal was to get to Florida and these unexpected delays sort of made him antsy.
They’d sat together to plan the entire trip and it bothered him that she wasn’t sticking to the plan. But it was just a few hours and now they were back on track. He got back into the car and waited for her to pay for the gas.
“So how long until we get to Arizona?” he asked when she hopped into the car again.
She tensed, looking nervous and uncertain. “I was thinking…I mean, we’re so close…I thought maybe we could just…go to Vegas…and then swoop back around to Arizona.”
He stared at her for a long time, mentally counting to ten as he tried to keep his anger in check. “That’s not what we discussed. We agreed that the next stop would be Arizona.”
“I-I know, but…it’s Vegas. Who can say no to Vegas?”
“When were you planning on telling me?” He actually felt his breathing elevate and his voice sounded deceptively calm, even to his own ears.
“Well, I thought…I thought I’d surprise you.”
His temper was rising and he was clenching his fists as an attempt to not lose his cool. “Remember how we were talking about a person’s reaction to surprise. Mine is not a good one. You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie; it’s just a little detour. C’mon, it will be fun.”
Just when he thought they could get along, just when he thought it wasn’t going to be that bad, she goes and does something like this. He would be better off taking the fucking bus!
“Pop the trunk,” he said softly.
“Kevin, why—”
“Pop the fucking trunk, Jazz!” He got out, slammed the door shut, and walked to the back of the car.
She got out too and walked towards him. “I think you’re overreacting.”
“I’m overreacting?” He took the keys from her hand and opened the trunk. “I’m overreacting? What was the point of us sitting down and planning this whole thing? What was the point of discussing costs and budgets only for you to up and change it whenever the fuck you feel like it?”
“I told you I’d pay for everything if you wanted. You said you weren’t in a rush to get to Florida. I don’t see what the issue is.”
“I’m not a goddamn leach! And the fact that you can’t see what the issue is just proves why this isn’t going to work.” He tossed his bags over his shoulder and walked away.
“Kevin,” she shouted from behind him, “I thought we were in this together.”
He immediately spun around. “The concept of we doesn’t exist. There is no together! You made that decision by yourself. I thought this could work. I really did.”
Dan: Ooh! He’s mad, Bob. He’s ready to explode.
Bob: It’s getting heated. I hope you got your marshmallows ready, Dan, because someone’s about to get roasted.
Dan: God, you’re so corny.
“And I was trying my best to understand how your crazy mind works,” Kevin continued. “I really tried, but I can’t…I can’t do this for one more second. Just when I think there’s an ounce of normal in you, you go and prove me wrong.”
Dan: Now, f
olks, what you’re seeing here is an incredible display of showmanship. Kevin has a special talent, something none of our other competitors have. The ability to see weakness.
Bob: And once he sees it, he feels compelled to exploit it. He knows she has issues and she’s desperately trying to fit in. That last statement was enough to lay out all those insecurities. A beautiful verbal punch to the stomach and it was delivered with just the right amount of hurtful malice that we’ve come to expect from this kid.
Dan: It got her good, Bob. She’s wavering.
Kevin stepped closer to make sure she was listening to everything he had to say, every bout of frustration. “Something is wrong with you. You don’t know how to interact with other people. You touch me without permission. You pick off my plate. You embarrass me in front of complete strangers. You make me feel so uncomfortable all the time. And then, to make matters worse, you just decide to change our plans without even talking to me about it first. It’s not okay! You don’t respect me at all, Jasmin.”
Her face had drained of color, making it obvious that she had never been in a confrontation like this before. His words had knocked her off her feet and, like a wounded soldier, she was trying to get back up again. “I’m sorry, Kevin. I know…I know I have a bit of a…social problem… and—”
Bob: Oh (groans), she said the wrong thing at the wrong time. This is not going to be pretty.
Dan: She left herself wide open. Brace yourself, folks. Our boy is gonna hit her where it hurts.
“You are socially inept!” he shouted. “It’s not a problem. A problem, by definition, means it can be solved. What you are is all kinds of fucked up! It’s no wonder no one wants to be around you. I’ve been with you for less than four fucking days and I can’t…You know what? Thanks, but no thanks. I’m out.”
He was about to walk away again, but then he saw it. The slightest twitch of her face. Something was happening, something very weird. She flinched again and he realized that she was forcing herself to not feel anything. It was almost like she was trying to suck all those hurtful words out of her head, drain it from her brain before a chemical reaction turned those emotions into feelings. And then the oddest thing happened. She smiled, a bright, perky smile that he knew wasn’t authentic.
“Wow,” she whispered. “You know, sometimes…” She cleared her throat because her voice was incredibly unsteady. “…sometimes…I forget…I forget why I don’t have any friends, but that…that was a good reminder.” Her perky smile beamed even brighter. “God, that was such a good reminder…Well, um…you best be on your way, Kevin. No point in wasting any more time with me. Have a safe trip.”
He watched her walk to the restroom and close the door. He should have been relieved that he was finally rid of her, but that was the last thing he was feeling.
Dan: See, Bob? I told you he could go all the way.
Bob: Damn, I feel really bad for her.
Dan: Fuck (rolls eyes)! What’re you? His conscience?
Kevin made his way to the pumps near the entrance of the gas station to make it easier to approach other drivers. There weren’t many cars passing through and it was more than twenty minutes before a man in a white Ford finally pulled into the station. Kevin spotted a baby seat in the back and let out a breath of relief. A family man. The odds were good.
He cast a quick glance to the other side of the station and saw that the blue Prius was still parked there. Jazz wasn’t in it.
He pushed it out of his mind and approached the white Ford. “Hi, sir,” he greeted. “I was wondering if you could help me.”
The older man smiled, accentuating the fine wrinkles near his eyes. “What can I do for you, Son?”
The word Son kinda fucked him up a bit inside and again, he pushed it out of his mind. “Can you give me a ride to the nearest bus station?”
“I’m not going that way…” He stopped and gave it a moment’s thought. “Sure. You might be stranded here for a while if I don’t. Not a lot of traffic coming through here.”
Kevin put on his friendliest smile. Yeah, family men were a sure bet. “Thank you very much, sir.”
“Call me Tom.”
“Thanks, Tom. I’m Kevin.”
“We’ll be outta here in a few minutes, Kevin.”
Tom busied himself filling the tank, but Kevin kept his eyes fixed on the restroom door. He started becoming edgy. Minute after minute ticked by and she didn’t come out. Tom disappeared inside to pay for the gas, but Kevin just kept watching…and waiting. This girl. This fucking girl was driving him crazy. What the hell was she doing? Why hadn’t she left yet?
“And we’re good to go,” Tom announced as he opened the car door.
Kevin opened the passenger door and tossed his bags into the backseat. Yet he only managed to get one foot inside. The rest of him wouldn’t budge. Don’t be stupid, he told himself. It could be hours before another driver comes along. Just get in the car.
He cast another quick look back and she was still in there.
“Kevin, are you coming?”
“Actually, Tom…” He shut his eyes because he couldn’t believe he was about to do something so stupid. “I think I’m gonna stay here. There’s something I need to take care of before I leave.”
Although Tom looked confused, he didn’t argue. “Well, all right then. You take care now.”
He waited until Kevin unloaded his bags and then slowly drove away from the gas station.
“So dumb,” Kevin whispered to himself as he walked back towards the restroom. “So. Dumb!”
He dropped his bags on the floor and sat down right outside the door. He waited and waited and waited some more. Two more cars came through. Two more missed opportunities, because he just sat there and waited.
It was almost forty minutes later when she finally came out. She didn’t even see him sitting there, just kept her head down and marched straight back to the car. Kevin quickly stood up, grabbed his bags, and raced after her. “Hey, Jazz.”
His voice startled her. She jumped and turned at the same time, and he grabbed her arm to steady her. Their eyes locked for a mere second before she immediately pulled out of his grip and cast her gaze to the floor. It was too late, though. He saw it already—her red, puffy eyes.
Dan: She was crying, Bob (utterly amused). Didn’t she say she hasn’t cried in eight years? Didn’t she say that she didn’t even cry when her grandmother passed away? And yet four days with this guy was enough to break her. He’s good. God, he’s good!
Bob: I’m…I’m in awe. Never in my years of broadcasting have I seen anything quite like this.
“What are you still doing here?” She looked everywhere but at him, consciously avoiding making eye contact. “I thought you would have left by now.”
“I…I wanted…to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” She carried on walking back to the car and he went after her again.
“Jasmin…about what happened—”
“Don’t worry about it. Water under the bridge.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
She stopped walking and there it was again. That twitch, that brain-drain twitch accompanied by the same perky smile. “Sure, you did.”
He shrugged almost helplessly. “All right, I meant it…but not in the way you took it.”
Her eyebrows creased a little and she finally lifted her eyes to meet his. She didn’t even look like the same person. She masked herself behind a hard exterior, but her eyes told him she was crumbling beneath it. “And what way is that?” she asked softly.
“In that soul-destroying, issue-causing kind of way—that’s not how I meant it. You’re annoying…God, you’re annoying…and you should have talked to me before changing the plans we made…but what I said was uncalled for.”
Dan: What the fuck is going on here?
Bob: I’m not…I’m not entirely sure. I think he’s trying to apologize. I don’t recognize this kind of sincerity. Is he sick or something?
Dan: Jesus (laughing hysterically)! We were so caught up in her need for social acceptance, we completely forgot about her abandonment issues. He somehow managed to kill two birds with one stone. If that’s not enough to take him to the quarter finals, then I don’t know what is.
Bob: No wonder she was crying. A girl like her has probably never had the privilege of meeting an asshole like him.
Dan: She wants to talk about chemical reactions? What a joke! It’s not that she knows how to control her emotions. It’s just been easy up until now because no one has made her feel this shitty before (wheezing from laughter). This kid is such a dick! Bob, take the mic. I can’t even…
Kevin took a second and shut off all the noise in his head. He needed to make this right. He didn’t want her to leave feeling the way she did. “Jasmin, that’s not how I meant it. You’re not easy to deal with…but neither am I. Our personalities just don’t gel. You’re crazy on another level of what the fuck, and I’m an asshole, truly a cosmic force to be reckoned with. We’re never gonna get along. When you leave here, that’s all you should take away from this.”
She said nothing and he took that as his cue to leave. He gathered his bags and started heading back to the pumps. He only made it ten feet when he heard her soft voice behind him.
“I’ll still take you to Georgia.”
This was the type of craziness his brain couldn’t even fathom. He turned and walked back to her. “Why…why would you do that? You don’t owe me anything and I’m the last person you should be nice to.”
“I’m the reason you’re in this mess,” she replied with a small shrug. “You’re miles away from home and you’re completely off course because of me. I can’t just leave you stranded here. So…if you want to…I’ll take you to Georgia.”
Journey to the Unknown Page 8