I melted inside as his eyes stared into my soul and saw every one of my secrets. It was as if he knew me, the true me, with only one glance. I was lost and I was in love.
Slowly, his lips turned up in a smile as he took a deep breath. “That was a surprise.”
My insides slid to a stop. A good or bad surprise?
As if reading my mind, he said, “A good one.”
Sighing, I leaned forward and laid my head on his chest as I gave him a tight hug. Then a fear filled me as I pulled back. Maybe I was going too fast. Was hugging allowed? What were the rules? My mind scrambled as I tried to understand what was happening. This was so far out of my comfort zone. I couldn’t even see it from here.
“No,” Buck said softly as he stopped me from pulling away and brought me back to put my head on his chest. “A guy could get used to liking this,” he said with a smile in his voice.
I drew in the scent of leather and woodsmoke. I allowed myself to appreciate the strong chest muscles, the way I could hear his mighty heart beating deep in his chest. God, I was lost. I was so in love I couldn’t even fathom how far I had fallen.
But he must never know, I told myself. There were too many broken hearts behind him. I was determined not to become another girl on that long trail of tears.
“I probably broke a dozen different tutor student type rules,” he said. “But I couldn’t help myself.”
I pulled back to look up into his gorgeous face and had to smile. What a perfect thing to say.
“Well you must have heard about me,” I said with a grin. “Rebecca Montgomery is just a natural born rule breaker.”
He laughed, and said, “Come on. Let’s go inside before we break too many rules. Because believe me, Rebecca. If we stay out here doing this much longer, I’m not going to be able to keep my hands where they belong.”
My insides melted as I realized I felt the same way. Then he surprised me by taking my hand and leading me back inside. When we got into the kitchen though, he didn’t let my hand go and I got to register the shocked looks on their faces when they saw Buck Benson holding my hand. In public no less.
God, a girl could live off that moment for her entire life. The sense of pride and power that filled me was a shock to my system. Much like standing next to Buck and looking up into his eyes as he smiled down at me. As if I was someone worth something.
Reaching into a bucket of ice, he pulled out a beer and opened it with one hand.
“Hey, I’m walking,” he said when he saw my raised eyebrow. “I only live about three blocks from here.”
“Can I have a sip?” I asked.
He laughed as he handed me the can of beer. “Careful, Rebecca or you’ll become lost to the dark side. The next thing you know, you’ll be wearing short dresses and running wild.”
I ignored him as I tipped the can back.
“Ewwww,” I grimaced. “It tastes like wet gym socks.”
He laughed as he took the can back. “It’s an acquired taste.”
As I tried to get the taste out of my mouth, I frowned and looked at him. “Is that what you like?” I asked. “Wild girls in short dresses?”
His brow furrowed for a moment then softened. “Hey, there is nothing wrong with a cute girl in a short dress. But no, it’s not what I’m looking for.”
“What are you looking for?” I pressed.
He shrugged then said, “Hey, this isn’t a date, remember,? You’re not allowed to have those so you don’t get to ask questions like we are on our first date.”
My insides shriveled up. How was I supposed to know what I could ask or not ask? Had I overstepped myself? Would he despise me?
“Hey,” he said as he scrunched down to look directly into my eyes. “I was only kidding. About the whole date thing.”
I sighed inside when I realized I hadn’t made a major mistake. There was no way to know how that conversation might have gone and what I might have learned. Because Hanna chose that moment to join us.
The girl was beaming as she was almost hopping up and down with too much energy.
“Wow,” she whispered to me as she grabbed my arm.
I could only smile, if she only knew what had happened out on the porch, then she really would be impressed.
Then she saw Buck’s hand holding mine. Her eyebrows shot up her forehead. I gave her my best ‘shut up’ look and thankfully she still had enough sense to catch it. But I could tell she was going to want a full break down later.
“So, you having fun, Hanna?” Buck asked.
She blushed and looked down at her feet but then she lifted her head and nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
Speaking of wow! Hanna Simpson had talked to a boy. Answered his question as if it were perfectly normal for her to do so. This was a night of specialness.
“Where’s Jimmy?” Buck asked.
A small frown threatened to break out but then she smiled slightly. “He said he would be back in a little bit.”
Buck nodded and I wanted to kiss him. To thank him for making my friend’s night so special. As long as she never learned that Buck had set it up then she could bask in this happiness. My stomach clenched up at the thought of her being hurt by the truth.
Of course, Jimmy chose that moment to ruin everything. He came into the kitchen, grabbed a beer then stood next to Hanna.
She stiffened but her eyes were alight with excitement.
“Thanks, man,” Jimmy said to Buck. “If you hadn’t told me that Hanna liked me, I never would have had the guts to ask her to dance.”
Hanna’s face fell for the briefest second. My heart hurt. Buck swallowed hard and Jimmy looked on, clueless.
Then Hanna surprised me by looking at Buck and mouthing the word, ‘Thanks.’ Then she slipped her arm into Jimmy’s and pulled him back to the dance floor. The smile she shot me said it all. She didn’t care how it happened. All that was important was that she was having fun.
I turned to Buck and pulled at his hand so that he would look at me.
“Don’t do that again,” I whispered. “Manipulate my friends.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Even if it means getting to kiss you. What? You don’t want me kissing you. Is that it. Is this your way of pushing me away?”
“Uh, … No,” I stammered.
He laughed then leaned down and kissed me quickly. Just a short kiss, but long enough to hold a mountain full of meaning.
“Good,” he said, “I just wanted to make sure of the rules.”
I swallowed hard as my cheeks burst with heat. A dozen different people had seen that kiss. There was no hiding it. Every person in school would be discussing, dissecting, and analyzing what it meant.
What if my father found out? A sudden fear filled me. No. He’d never let me near Buck again. Our tutoring sessions would be canceled. I’d never get that letter of recommendation. But even more important. I’d never be alone with Buck again.
A sick feeling of worry wormed its way into my soul and refused to leave. This was what my life was going to become, I realized. A constant fear of being discovered.
Then it hit me. What was I thinking? This wasn’t permanent. This was Buck Benson. There were a dozen girls lined up waiting for him to pick them. I well knew because I was bathing in their sorrow a little bit. But that meant tonight was just about tonight.
There would be no special tomorrow. No long term thing. I didn’t have to worry about my father because Buck Benson and I were never going to be a couple.
I was fighting that angst when Buck leaned up against the kitchen counter and pulled me to stand in front of him, then wrapped his strong arms around my tummy and pulled me to lean into him.
Sighing deeply, I closed my eyes and drank in the sense of home and security. Oh, how I was going to miss this tomorrow. I had never felt so secure. So safe. It was as if a warm force field surrounded me. Keeping all of life’s troubles and tribulations away.
He leaned down, kissed the top of my head and squeezed me.
My insides stiffened.
“In a good way,” he added with a laugh.
“What do you mean?” I managed to force myself to say.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I just know I feel better when I am near you.”
Okay, new best line ever. My heart raced as I held the arms that held me.
“We are going to have to figure out some way around this whole no dating thing,” he added.
My world exploded into the stratosphere. This wasn’t going to be a one-night thing. Buck Benson wanted to spend time with me.
“I know,” I said as I shifted back and forth so I could snuggle closer.
A sound echoed deep in his throat. A cross between a growl and a groan. Had I done something wrong? I started to pull away when his hands clamped down even tighter.
“No, you’re not running away. This is too much fun. It feels right.”
I sank back into him. He was so right it couldn’t be ignored. This was where I belonged. In Buck Benson’s arms. There was nowhere on earth more special.
Chapter Eight
Buck
I watched Hanna and Rebecca drive away and a loneliness flowed into me, surprising me. God, it hadn’t been but a minute and I was already missing her. This was ridiculous.
Staring up at the stars, I cursed myself for being an idiot. The girl was so far out of bounds it was frightening. She had an air of innocence that just pulled at me. And then, to show up at the party looking like that. Jeans that highlighted every curve to perfection. A top that showed a hint of cleavage and a face kissed by an angel.
But there was so much more to her. Depth, understanding. A sweetness that was honest, not a fake façade. She cared about things. Important things like the planet. Other people. Animals.
There was even more though. A vitality. An open energy that saw the world as it should be seen. Not idealistically but as it really was. Yet, she was the type of person who also saw the good things in the world. Not only saw them. But appreciated them.
No. Rebecca was different on so many levels.
A picture of her hips in those jeans jumped into my mind and I sighed heavily. Those were the type of hips that could get a guy in trouble very easily. I couldn’t have stopped myself from falling for her if I tried. And I wasn’t idiot enough to stop myself.
Smiling to myself, I turned to start walking home. The party was still going strong. But it held no interest for me. Not with Rebecca no longer there. Taking a deep breath of the cool night air, I turned up the collar of my jacket and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Wow, this was different. A girl had me in knots and I didn’t have any idea what I was getting myself into.
To top it off. If her dad ever found out, he and her brothers would track me down. And it would be just my luck that he had a dozen shotguns.
But, deep inside, I knew that wouldn’t stop me. It wasn’t smart. And I’d probably screw it all up. But I knew that nothing was going to stop me from pursuing Miss Rebecca Montgomery. The girl meant too much.
When I stepped into the house, Mom looked up from her book, then frowned as she glanced down at her watch.
“This is a surprise. You home before curfew. I don’t think that’s happened since you were fourteen.”
I smiled and shrugged. “Jake and Parker aren’t here to be a bad influence.”
She laughed, “You never needed their help. You are perfectly capable of making me worry all by yourself.”
I laughed and started for my room in the back then stopped and turned back. “Mom,” I asked. “How do you know you’re in love?”
She coughed and tried to get her breath.
I could only wait as she tried to get her composure back. She frowned as she looked at me. “You’re serious?”
I nodded. I hadn’t expected to have this conversation tonight. But it sort of just bubbled out of me when I realized she was the best person to ask. What she and my dad had before he died had been special. Two people madly in love after years and three kids.
She tilted her head then smiled. “If a person asks that question, then it usually means they are already in love.”
I nodded it was what I had been afraid of.
“Are you?” she asked, “In love I mean?”
Smiling at her I turned away and said over my shoulder. “There are some things a mother doesn’t need to know.”
The frustrated grumble from behind me made me smile. I couldn’t let her think she knew everything. It was bad for her morale.
“Hey,” she called after me. “Don’t get too cocky. Never forget. I have baby pictures of you that will make her laugh and ruin any thought that you were ever special.”
This was so not good on so many levels. I wasn’t a one-woman type guy. And Rebecca deserved the very best. Plus. There was the whole strict father aspect. And with football and all the studying for my grades. I couldn’t really afford to have my attention on a girl.
Flopping down on my bed I stared up at the ceiling and realized. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about this girl.
What would tomorrow’s tutoring session be like? I wondered. Would it be tense? Her brother watching over us. God, the tension would kill me. I’d want to pull her into a kiss. But I couldn’t risk it.
Nothing must be allowed to hurt Rebecca. That included getting her in trouble with her family. No. I couldn’t do that to her. It wouldn’t be right.
But, how could I stay away?
Things hadn’t changed by noon the next day. I was mopping around. Waiting until I could go to the library and see Rebecca.
“You are pathetic,” Mom said as she put a plate with two sandwiches and Cheetos down in front of me.
I looked up, “Thanks, I love you too.”
She laughed. “No, I’m serious. I’ve never seen you like this. You were the son I didn’t have to worry about getting his heart broken. Or at least I thought so. I mean, you’ve tried everything. Video games, shooting baskets. Heck, you even put away the basket of laundry in your room. Normally, you just pick things out of the basket and they never make it to your dresser.”
I laughed. I didn’t know she knew that. Nothing worked. So of course, when my phone rang and I saw it was Rebecca, my heart jumped into hyperdrive.
“Hey,” I answered, trying to sound all cool and calm.
“Hi. Buck,” she said with a hesitant tone that made my insides start to tighten.
I shot my mom a warning look. She grinned, shook her head. But she had the decency to leave me alone and go in the other room.
“What’s up?” I asked after she left. “Is everything okay?” A worry filled me. Had her dad found out about the party. Was that why she was calling?”
“No. I mean yes, everything is okay. Well, sort of.”
I paused for a moment then said, “Tell me. What’s going on.”
She took a deep breath then said, “I can’t meet you for tutoring today.”
I felt as if my stomach had just fallen off a cliff. Why? Had I pushed things too far, too fast last night. That was it. I’d pushed her beyond her comfort level. Made her do things she was regretting this morning.
It was only a party and a harmless kiss. Okay, maybe more than one. But still.
“Okay, I get it.”
“No. No,” she said. “It’s not like that. My dad and brothers have to work. They all picked up extra hours at the sawmill. And my mom has her monthly quilting group.”
My insides relaxed. “So, I didn’t scare you away. What your saying is that you wished you could spend time with me. But you can’t. Because of other stuff. It wasn’t my kissing you that is behind all of this.”
I could almost hear her blushing on the other side. “No, it wasn’t that,” she said. “Believe me.”
“Well, then, why don’t we just meet here. My mom is home. We could have her talk to your mom. You know, mother to mother. They have this code t
hat says they will protect each other’s kids.”
She was silent on the other end and my insides began to get shaky. Maybe she really was avoiding me.
“You want me to come to your house. Meet your mom?”
“Sure, why not. She’s sort of okay, for a mom that is. Of course, never tell her I said that. I will deny it to the day I die.”
She laughed. “Maybe, it might work. Can I have my mom call yours in a little bit? I’ve sort of got to lay the groundwork.”
A warm feeling of rightness filled me. She wasn’t trying to avoid me. In fact, I could hear the happiness in her voice. She wanted to see me again. So yes, the world was working as it should.
I tracked down my mom and filled her in with the plan and the whole strict family aspect of things. Her eyebrow shot up.
“Is this the girl?” she asked. “The one that has been tutoring you is the one you’ve fallen in love with?”
I didn’t answer but I couldn’t keep from smiling just a little. Instead, I kissed her on the forehead and turned to rush away. Secure in the knowledge that Rebecca would pull it off somehow. Convince her mom to call mine and I knew my mom. She could talk a polar bear into buying ice.
“Where are you going?” she asked as I started up the hall.
“To clean my bedroom,” I yelled back.
“Buckminster, James, Benson. If you think that girl is going to step one foot in your bedroom. You are crazy.”
I turned back to her, unable to hide my smile. “I know,” I said. “But just think a moment. Are you telling me NOT to clean my room? I just want to make sure.”
She rolled her eyes. “You clean to your heart’s content. Even better. Clean to my heart’s content. But I’m serious.”
I nodded. I knew Rebecca would never see my bedroom. At least not today. But I didn’t know why. It was just something I had to do.
Chapter Nine
Rebecca
It worked. I still couldn’t believe it. Mom had agreed. She’d called Mrs. Benson and they’d talked for several minutes. I even heard my mom laugh at one point which made my stomach tumble over itself.
Deception (The Benson Brothers Book 3) Page 5