“What are you going to make of the length of silk I brought you?” Selene asked. “A tunic?”
She was being foolish and weak. She must tie up all these painful, tattered ends and walk away. She firmly closed the shutter and latched it. “No, not a tunic. A banner.”
The linens of his bed still breathed of Thea, Ware realized as he lay in the darkness. Soap and lemon and the woman scent that was distinctly her own. He inhaled deeply, letting it flow into him. He would remember that fragrance if he lived a hundred years.
Not that there was a chance of that. He had beaten the odds too long. He would be fortunate to live another year. Every day was a gift.
As she had been a gift, beautiful and loyal, filled with life and vitality.
A gift he had taken and now must return.
No!
He closed his eyes and fought the rejection. He had known this moment would come, but he had not known it would be this difficult. He must smother this impulse to reach out and grab and hold on.
Once more. It would do no harm to have one more time before he sent her away.
Christ in heaven—no harm? When he lay here treasuring her scent on the sheets like a boy with his first woman? Let her go, you fool.
Let her be safe.
Let her live.
“Let me have that.” Kadar took the bucket of water from Thea and opened the door. “You should have one of the servants do this sort of task.” His gaze went to the cluster of mulberry trees. “I was surprised when Selene told me that these trees were here.”
“You’ve seen her this morning?”
“I made the mistake of promising her I’d show her my falcons. She was pounding on my door before I had a chance to break my fast.”
“She told me she was eager to see them.” She started down the path. “But, then, she was eager to see everything. I was going to start embroidering this morning and let Jasmine care for the trees, but I told her to show Selene the castle instead. I can begin on the silk this afternoon.” She shot him a glance. “Why are you surprised we planted the trees? The silk trade is very profitable.”
“As I saw in Constantinople. But Ware is no merchant.”
“Many lords dabble in the trade.”
“Ware is no dabbler.”
She shrugged. “You must be wrong. He wanted the trees.”
“Yes, he wanted the trees,” he murmured. “Curious.”
“I didn’t find it so.” They had reached the first tree, and she took the water from him. “It seemed very reasonable.”
“Because you’re blinded and dazzled by your silk.” He grimaced. “I saw thousands of worms devouring the leaves on the mulberry trees in Nicholas’s garden. I didn’t find it a pretty sight.”
“When you see what magic those worms weave…”
“I prefer to see the silk and not the process.” He watched her water the tree. “You are well?”
“Of course. Do I not look well?”
“Yes, I agree with Selene. You have a certain bloom.”
She quickly looked away. “I thank you for caring for my sister. I think you know what it means to me.”
“I told you I would care for her.” He smiled. “Besides, Ware tells me that you’ve done what I asked of you.”
“What did he say?”
He didn’t answer for a moment, and she could feel his gaze on her averted face. “Only that you had grown to know each other.” He paused. “What else is there to say?”
It appeared Ware had not told him of their intimacy. He would learn soon enough from the servants, but she found she could not confide in him. “Nothing.” She moved on to the next tree. “It was not an easy task you set me.”
“Retrieving Selene was not easy either. But we both succeeded in what we set out to do, so all is well. Isn’t it?”
She nodded. “And it will be better once we reach Damascus.”
“Ah, yes, Damascus. When do you intend leaving?”
“I have a task to complete here that should take no longer than a month. After that, we will leave.”
“What task?”
“I promised Lord Ware a banner. I cannot leave until it’s completed.”
“A month doesn’t seem long enough to fashion a banner.”
“I’ll do it. I can be very determined if I set myself entirely to a task.”
“I know that well enough.” His expression was thoughtful. “Why Damascus? Wouldn’t another place do as well?”
She shook her head. “I considered many towns before I decided on Damascus. It’s a place well-known in the trade, and fine embroideries are treasured there. Our silk house wouldn’t do as well in another city. It has to be Damascus.”
“I see.” He didn’t speak until she had moved on to the next tree. “There’s a possibility Ware may decide Damascus is not safe.”
“I’ve heard Damascus is a vast city. It should not be difficult for two women to lose themselves in such a place. I’ll take the chance.”
“But will Ware?”
“I’m a free woman now, with a free will. It’s my decision to make.”
“Well, there’s no sense discussing it at the moment. You still have a banner to create. Tell me, what device will you use? A dragon breathing flames? Or perhaps a bull for obstinacy? Either would be appropriate for our friend Ware.”
“He says he doesn’t care. When I sit down to draw the design, something will come to me. It always does.”
“An idea falls from heaven?” he teased.
She didn’t smile in return. “I don’t know where it comes from, but it comes. My mother once said she had heard it is so with all artists. I sit down with pen and let the whisper tell me what to draw and then guide my needle.”
“Whisper?”
“Not a real whisper. It’s inside my head….” She shrugged helplessly as she realized she was making little sense. “Or perhaps my heart. I don’t know…it’s just there. Whatever it is, it brings beauty. Isn’t that what’s important?”
“I can’t think of anything more important,” Kadar said gently. “I’ll be interested to see this banner.” He bowed. “But now I must join Ware. We had little chance to talk last night. I will see you at dinner?”
At her nod, he moved down the path toward the castle.
She felt a vague sense of unease as she watched him go. He had posed questions and stirred uncertainty in matters she had thought perfectly obvious. But, then, it was Kadar’s way to question everything and everyone, and she had been too filled with new and different emotions to think with any clarity.
None of it mattered anyway. The trees were here and growing strong. Let Ware do what he willed with them. After today she would give them into Jasmine’s care and concentrate on Ware’s banner.
A strong, beautiful banner, a banner to raise the heart and bring memories of—
Memories of her? Was she so vain that she would use her gift in such a cause? she wondered in self-disgust. Memories came from the soul, not from a piece of silk. She did not need a banner to remember Ware. All her life she would—
Dear God, let those memories dim. Leave the sweetness, let regret fade.
But Ware would know regret. She felt she would have known if life stirred within her. The one gift he wanted, she would not give him.
But she could give of her talent and her labor. She would empty her heart of everything but the whisper and the man himself and give him the most glorious of banners.
Ware stood gazing out the window when Kadar strode into the Great Hall.
“Did you take Thea to your bed?” Kadar asked without ceremony.
Ware glanced at him before returning his gaze to the courtyard. “Is that what she told you?”
“She told me nothing in words, but her manner…Did you?”
Ware turned to look at him. “What did you expect? You know what I am. You asked her to bear me company.”
“I didn’t tell her to become your whore.”
“She’s not my
whore. I won’t have you—” He broke off and shrugged. “It’s done. I won’t ask her to come back to my bed.”
“And what if she’s with child?”
“Then I’ll find a way to protect her and the babe.” He glared at him. “Do you think me so lacking in responsibility that I’d not consider that?”
“And what if she won’t permit you to protect her?”
“She will have no choice.”
Kadar shook his head. “There is always choice when one has strength.” He paused. “You’ve not told her that she cannot go to Damascus.”
“In time.”
“If you don’t send her, she’ll go anyway. She believes that she can lose herself in the city.”
“Not from Vaden. She’d need four walls and an army to keep him away from her.” He muttered, “And even that may not be enough.”
“Four walls and an army,” Kadar repeated. “That sounds uncomfortably like a prison. Thea has just escaped from one prison. She would not tolerate another.” His gaze narrowed on Ware’s face, and then he gave a low whistle. “You mean it.”
“She will live.”
“That’s why you brought the mulberry trees here. You were making a nest for her. A safe, cozy nest, behind stone walls. You were providing her with everything she needed to lure her to stay. That’s why you had me bring Selene. It was to be her own little world.”
“Why not? She would have been very comfortable here.”
“And what if she’d chosen not to stay?”
Ware met his gaze. “She would have been very comfortable here.”
“By all the saints.” Kadar shook his head in wonder. “I’ve underestimated you, my friend. I didn’t think you capable of such subtle machinations.”
“I’ll have no more innocent blood on my hands.”
“So you seek to protect your entire world.” He tilted his head. “Was I to be imprisoned in your castle also?”
Ware didn’t answer.
Kadar laughed. “You were going to do it. I cannot believe it.”
“I’m no fool. I hoped to persuade you to leave me, and if you would not—” He shrugged. “I’ve told Abdul that from now on four men are to protect you at all times.”
“So you’re putting me behind a wall of guards instead of stone.”
“Until I can convince you that life would be both safer and more pleasant in some far-off land.”
“But not as interesting. I’d miss seeing you attempt to keep Thea imprisoned here at Dundragon.”
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but Thea can’t remain at Dundragon. Vaden knows about her, and he may have already told the Grand Master. If something happened to me, he’d know exactly where to find her, and I wouldn’t be here to defend the fortress. I have to find a safer place for her.”
“She prefers to find her own hiding place and take her own chances.” He sighed as he saw Ware’s implacable expression. “I fear I’m not convincing you.”
“How long before her silk arrives?”
“Wednesday of next week perhaps.” He nodded as he understood the relevance of the question. “You’re wondering how much time you have to find this haven? You have at least a month.” He smiled sardonically. “She wishes to repay your kindness by creating a banner for you. Though she may decide to wrap it around your neck and throttle you with it.”
“A month…”
“I’d be curious as to how you intend to find a haven for her in this land when you can find none for yourself.”
“I’ll have to consider,” he said. “But I will find it.”
“And after you find it, you have only to convince her to use it.” He turned away. “All this talk of prisons has made me uneasy. I think I’ll go to the tower to see my falcons. Do you know, I’m tempted to set Eleanor free today.”
“You’ve trained her too well. She would only come back to you.”
“One never knows. At least I’d have the satisfaction of knowing I’d made the attempt.”
“Thea isn’t Eleanor,” Ware said. “It would be unwise of you to become confused.”
“You’re warning me?”
“I’m reminding you…of Jedha. If Thea was killed, you would bear the guilt. You’ll have your own Jedha. I promise you that you’d not like the nightmares that would come after.”
Kadar’s smile faded. “A persuasive argument. Perhaps I’ll wait awhile and see what comes of this search for a haven.”
Ware smiled without mirth. “I thought you would. It’s all very well to have a tender heart, but you must strike a balance. We can never have everything we wish. A price must always be paid.”
“And Thea must pay it?”
Ware turned back to the window. “She won’t be the only one.”
THE SILK WAS BEAUTIFUL, shimmering with a pearllike luminosity on her standing frame.
Thea always loved this moment of anticipation before she began. Soon glowing stitches of color would unfurl on that silken canvas. Her stitches, her design. She reluctantly turned away from the silk, sat down at the table, and picked up her pen.
But what design?
She closed her eyes and emptied her mind of everything around her. Ware. Think of Ware.
She could hear the sound of birds in the trees below her window, the soft rush of wind.
Or was it the whisper?
Not yet. Soon.
Ware. Ware’s banner.
She opened her eyes and began to sketch. It came slowly at first, and then faster. No doubt. No hesitation. Soon every stroke of the pen came with absolute certainty. The picture in her mind was so clear, she could see every detail.
Strange, it had never been this clear before….
“You must eat,” Jasmine said from the doorway.
“Later.” Thea drew the gold thread through the silk.
“Now. You’ve not eaten at all today.” Jasmine closed the door. “And only scraps for the last three days. You’ll become ill.”
“No, I won’t.”
“And Selene says you don’t sleep.”
“Of course I sleep.” She wished the woman would go away. The gold was dazzling against the creamy silk, and she felt a rush of pleasure. Every stitch brought her that same deep satisfaction and anticipation.
“Not much.” Jasmine crossed the room and stood in front of the loom. “I’m not sure I wish to learn this skill if it drives one out of one’s senses.”
“I’m not out of my senses. I’m working.”
Jasmine snorted. “All the hours of the day and night.”
“I want to finish the banner so we can go to Damascus.”
“You’ll not finish it at all if you go blind from working by that dim candlelight.”
Even working by candlelight hadn’t damaged the quality of the work. Every morning when Thea examined the embroidery, every stitch done the night before was perfect. She bent forward and guided the needle through the silk.
“You’re not listening to me,” Jasmine said.
“Leave the tray. I’ll eat later.”
She scarcely heard Jasmine leave the chamber. Another silken stitch, another rush of intense pleasure.
The design was growing, coming alive beneath her needle….
“Thea?” Selene whispered. “Please come to bed.”
“Not yet.”
Selene sighed and settled down on the floor beside Thea’s stool. “I’ll be glad when you’re finished. I’ve never seen you like this.”
“I want it to be beautiful. It’s got to be beautiful.”
“If Lord Ware were here, he would not permit you to suffer like this for his sake.”
Suffer? Thea almost laughed aloud. Working on the banner was as far from suffering as could be imagined. It was like living in a beautiful dream and working to make that dream even more true and shining. “Lord Ware is not here?”
Selene shook her head. “He and Kadar left four days ago.”
“Where did they go?”
“I don’t know.
But Kadar said he’d be back within two weeks’ time.”
Oh, well, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the complexity of the pattern, the tightness of the stitches. No, that was wrong. There was something that did matter. Ware had to be safe. “Did he take Abdul?”
“No. He had a large escort, but Abdul stayed here.”
But Ware was protected. Good. Now she could return her concentration to the banner.
Selene studied the embroidered silk on the frame. “It looks as if you’re almost finished.”
Thea nodded.
“It’s beautiful. I don’t think you’ve ever created anything this wonderful.”
Thea knew she hadn’t, and it was growing stronger and more beautiful with every stitch.
“But it makes me feel uneasy. There’s too much…power.”
“That’s good. A banner should have strength and splendor.”
“It’s hard to look away from it. It fascinates.”
Thea didn’t answer.
“The other bolts of silk came last week. I left them in the wagon. There’s no use unloading them when we’ll need to take them to Damascus. Isn’t that right?”
Just a few more stitches and she could start on the scarlet. What had Selene asked? Something about the silk and Damascus. “You were very clever to think of getting the silk.”
“You’re not listening.” Selene sighed as she got to her feet. “I’m moving back in here with you again. It’s the only way I’ll be sure you get a little sleep.”
“Whatever you say.”
“And an entire army of turtles are eating the lions in the courtyard.”
“I’m sure it will be all right.”
Selene shook her head and moved over to the bed. “Nothing will be all right until you finish that banner.”
It was done.
Thea wearily straightened her back and stared at the banner. Three weeks and the most intense labor she had ever lavished on any work.
Glorious.
The banner still had to be hemmed, but the design was finished. The scarlet and gold leaped from the silk canvas and held her captive. She could not look away from it.
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