by Lauren Beltz
in her undergarments. He could almost picture what she had looked like in a bathing suit a year ago, sprawled out on a towel at the beach, reading some pretentious novel he’d never heard of.
She barely even looked like a skeleton now. Skin clinging to bones was all that remained. Everyone’s body mass had started to deteriorate since they walled off the building, but it was the most noticeable on Lenore, and it was painfully clear to him now. The urgency in their need to find another source of food was never more apparent.
“No, I’m not. I’m glad I’m not her. But if she can be treated with the kind of respect y’all have given her, I don’t think it’s unfair for me to expect the same.” A bit of western escaped from her then. She didn’t carry an accent, but he had heard it in her words. He wondered if she was from Texas.
“It isn’t a lack of respect, Lenore. It’s more just an understanding of the reality of our situation.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she snapped.
“It means it looks like your legs can barely support you. You look like you haven’t slept in days, and you don’t have an ounce of fat on you. You don’t have the build that the rest of us have. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” she asked tersely. Perhaps he should have worded it differently as she was clearly offended, and that statement had only driven the stake home.
He laughed aloud at himself. It wouldn’t matter how he worded it, he was bound to upset her sooner or later. “Can we not fight? For once?” he asked, if not begged. “I understand how we got to this point, I do, but surely there has to be a way to get past this space that we’re stuck in.”
“This is my penitence, Daniel. Going down the elevator shaft, that’s my way to try to live with myself after what happened to Hayley.
“I can’t bring her back, but I can do something to help make sure it doesn’t happen to the rest of us. That we don’t lose any more to this twisted disease.”
“Nobody blames you for what happened to Hayley.”
“Oh, that’s bullshit. You blame me, Daniel. I know I made the right decision, and even I still can’t live with it. Nathan blames me too. He blames all of us.”
“Nathan’s lost his mind,” he retorted.
“That doesn’t make him wrong.”
“You want to do this? Then do it, Lenore. But don’t do it out of some twisted sense of guilt. Do it because you want to, because you think it is the way to help us survive. You’ve got to put this Hayley thing behind you, or it’ll tear you apart.”
“Have you put it behind you?” she asked, catching him off guard.
Of course he hadn’t. But it was different for Lenore. She hadn’t lost Sebastian to the infected in the sweeps. She didn’t know, first hand, what seeing a loved one infected and hacked apart could do to your heart.
“I didn’t think so,” she finally answered for him when he couldn’t find the words. “And I think that’s why we’re always going to fight. Because neither one of us can let it go.” She left her clothes as she stood and moved to the water basins.
He thought about offering to help, but he knew it would only upset her more. She wanted to assert her independence, to prove to the group that she was an asset and not just a liability. He couldn’t blame her. He left his clothes to dry once the storm passed on, moving back into the stairwell to grab his towel to pat dry.
As he shoved his damp feet into his significantly worn out shoes, his eyes came level with the fire hose, curled around the metal wheel. Sudden clarity broke through his tired mind. It was a simple way to strengthen the rope, to ensure her safety as she descended into the unknown. And if he worked quickly and enlisted Davidson’s help, they’d have it done in time for the evening meeting.
Anna
No one said a word as they all crowded into the narrow hallway; they hardly needed to. Their movements expressed their feelings as everyone found a place to stand. William stood in the center of the hallway facing the rest of them. Positioning himself directly next to the elevator, he made the importance of the evening known, as did the pile of rope neatly coiled at the base of the elevator doors.
Nathan stood as far away from the rest of them as possible, though remaining close enough that his presence still pleased William. Or, at least, served not to anger him. What Anna wouldn’t have given to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation. From the look on Nathan’s face it was clear he joined them under duress. Anna doubted he would be of much use to the rest of them. She certainly wouldn’t trust him to have her back if they ran into an infected on the scavenge mission. If anything, she would expect him to throw her at one.
Sebastian stood next to her. She suspected he wouldn’t say much. He was clearly still fuming over his sister’s insistence to be the one to descend into the darkness. Anna gave Lenore at least a little respect for volunteering. The girl didn’t look like she had any guts, but she must have hidden them somewhere in her frail frame this entire time.
Anna held the position directly to William’s right. It did not escape her that she had inadvertently positioned herself as his figurative right hand man. She had been a pawn of his; she could admit it. It was a realization she faced while studying Nathan in the aftermath of her actions. He barely looked like he was getting by, coping with the entire ordeal. She was half surprised he hadn’t jumped out the window yet. It seemed like the way he would chose to go; it almost seemed pointless for him to still put up a fight. One look at him and it was clear he had nothing left to live for.
Daniel and Davidson waited on either side of Lenore. All three leaned against the wall, as if needing the extra support. It wasn’t jealousy that Anna felt when she looked at the way the two men naturally gravitated toward Lenore. It wasn’t disgust either. Not really. She couldn’t place the mixed feelings the sight rallied inside her, which was a first for Anna.
“Now that we’re all here,” William started, his booming voice piercing through the silence, “perhaps we can get started.” He worded it as a question but delivered it as a command. Every word he spoke, he treated as final. It would be interesting to see how he adapted to group gatherings, especially since they hadn’t had one for a while. It also did not escape her that most of them probably hadn’t seen William in weeks. The commander turned recluse. Would he even be able to still rally his troops?
“We got the harness and the rope finished.” Daniel started off by stating the obvious. All seven heads turned to look at the pile on the ground. “We also managed to snag a few unused large trash bags and some cleaning gloves to keep you as clean as possible.” He directed the final part of his sentence to Lenore.
She gave a single nod to acknowledge she heard. Anna noticed what remained of Lenore’s fingernails were jagged and chewed down to her cuticles. Maybe she didn’t have the balls to go through with it after all. The elevator shaft would be the easy part. All the infected down there were already dead.
Davidson cleared his throat, probably fighting a nervous tickle. He didn’t appear to be one for public speaking. Especially not in front of William. “I checked out the first floor, and it’s still in surprisingly good shape. There isn’t a window directly above the front doors so I couldn’t see what they looked like, but I was able to look through one of the smaller windows. I watched for about an hour and didn’t see any signs of infected inside.”
“So what’s the plan?” William asked, his arms crossed against his chest. Though they had hardly had anything to eat in weeks, his muscles bulged under the tightness of his shirt. Anna wondered if perhaps he had been hording some supplies for himself while the rest of them suffered together. She wouldn’t put it past him.
“We hit the closest market,” Anna spoke up when the rest of them remained silent. They had gone over the rough details of the plan; they all knew it. If no one else would say it, she would. “We send two, three people tops. The rest hang back to offer support from the building and make sure they get safely back inside without compromising our space to the i
nfected.”
“And we send the runners covered in infected intestines,” Lenore pitched in, “with the hope that it will help mask our unique human smell. Even though we still aren’t entirely sure how the infection spreads,” she added with clear displeasure.
“Where are we at with obtaining said intestines?” William inquired.
“We’re ready for retrieval,” Daniel spoke up, turning once more to face Lenore. “Davidson and I were going to get you harnessed in after the meeting if you’re ready.”
It was as if the two held a silent conversation from the way they stared at each other. Anna clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as they all waited.
Lenore’s terse reply finally came. “Of course.”
“Perfect,” William declared. “So who do we send? And when do they go?”
The collective group remained silent as they all surveyed their fellow survivors. How did one decide such a fate, especially when no one had any realistic hope for true results? Anna had pondered the very question for the past two days but hadn’t thought of a simple solution. They could ask for volunteers, but she doubted anyone wanted to be put on the spot. Even she wasn’t sure she wanted to put herself at such a risk. Especially if she got stuck with the likes of Nathan and Lenore. It would be as suicide mission with no