Chapter 12
Horror.
That’s exactly what this is.
I spend the next few days baking my fingers to the bone, trying to digest how it came to be that Noah found out I was with child—and alarmingly he thinks the child is Everett’s. I don’t blame Gemma. She came to the house that night, walked right through the front door, and planted herself in front of the fireplace, moaning and groaning for me to forgive her. Of course, I spent the better half of an hour doing just that and both Pancake and Waffles seemed amused by my efforts.
But because of this baby-induced debacle, I’ve spent more than my fair share of time at the hospital whispering I love you and I need you into Noah’s ear.
I’m terrified he won’t ever want to wake up. I’m downright afraid that Noah won’t want to live in a world where Everett and I are having a child—especially while Noah and I are still legally married. He must think the worst of me. I can imagine this has all been a pretty big blow to his heart.
Everett has been equally concerned for Noah. He heads over to the hospital himself before picking up dinner and coming home. And just the thought of him spending so much time with his former stepbrother warms my heart and makes me love him that much more—something I’m sure Noah would roll his eyes at.
I get it. But I can’t help it.
And those are the very reasons the bakery is in a serious surplus of pumpkin pies, pumpkin rolls, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin cinnamon rolls, pumpkin pinwheels, pumpkin scones, pumpkin glazed donuts, and even scrumptious pumpkin croissants this morning.
Lily moans as she takes a bite out of a fresh baked pumpkin cinnamon roll.
“I’m really sorry you’re stressing out about Noah, but boy am I glad you’re stressing out about Noah during pumpkin season. I’ve already gained fifteen pounds since walking through the door this morning.”
“I’m glad you can benefit.”
It’s the middle of the afternoon, and as far as Lily is concerned, I’m stress baking because Noah doesn’t seem to be waking up.
Little does she know that I’m stress baking because I’m afraid I’ve inadvertently finished him off. All because of one precious baby-sized secret. And that’s exactly why I’ve decided not to tell another living soul about the baby.
God knows if the deceased souls can’t be trusted, the living souls are worse. I texted both Carlotta and Mayor Nash—aka bio daddy—and threatened them within an inch of their big-mouthed lives. Parricide is a very real phenomenon, and I’m guessing it’s often brought about when the parents go about blabbing their child’s most intimate DNA-riddled secrets to anyone who’ll listen.
No—my sweet secret will have to remain tucked safely in my womb until I can tell Noah the truth myself. But I still haven’t decided if the truth is better than the lie. The truth might be quicker to kill him if he realizes that Everett just might be raising his child. Or it might motivate him to fight harder to wake the heck up. But the pendulum swings too wide for me to fire off the news willy-nilly, so baking up a storm it is.
The door to the Cutie Pie Bakery and Cakery chimes and in walks Naomi Turner, eyes bulging, her face red with rage, honing all of her fury at her one-time best friend—in other words, it’s just another Thursday. Her dark hair is slicked back into a ponytail, and she’s bundled up in a green wool coat and matching scarf.
Just past her, those dark clouds pressing down over our sleepy town never seem to leave Honey Hollow anymore, and I wonder if it’s a somber warning of some kind.
“Have I got a bone to pick with you.” Naomi’s voice shakes with rage, and I roll my eyes all the way up to those twinkle lights glistening in the café. More and more I find myself mesmerized by the branches of that oak that extend into the café from the Honey Pot Diner next door. And every time I’m delighted by looking at them and feel as if my grandmother, Nell Sawyer herself, just gave me a hug from the other side.
Lily slams shut the baked goods compartment that faces the customers and nearly shatters the glass in the process.
“You always have a bone to pick with me, Naomi. What now”—she leans in—“you cow.”
I suck in a quick breath.
“Okay, girls, let’s relegate the name calling, and the cat fighting, to the alley out back. I don’t want you scaring off the customers. And don’t think for a minute of using my bakery as a wrestling ring to work out your differences.” Not that it hasn’t been done before.
Naomi smirks. “I wouldn’t dream of stooping to her level. I’m above the name-calling and the cat fighting. I was simply coming by to let Lily know that I have a little something of hers.” She pulls a lacy pink ball from her purse and chucks it onto the counter. “Your underwear, I believe.”
“Eww, gross!” I yelp so loud half the customers turn this way to gawk at the horror.
I grab a piece of wax paper and swat the pink panties onto the floor before getting right to the task of disinfecting the counter with a spray bottle I keep under the register for less than hygienic emergencies such as this. Not that I’ve had a pair of underwear on my counter before nor do I care to ever again.
Lily gasps as she swipes them off the floor and shoves them into her apron.
“Those are La Perla,” she hisses. “Everyone knows you don’t roll La Perla into a ball and toss them about!”
Naomi leans in. “Isn’t that what you wanted Alex to do with them?”
Lily snorts. “That is what he did with them, but I liked his intentions a lot more than I like yours.”
Naomi’s nostrils flare the way Keelie’s do just before she’s about to blow. “I know all about your intentions, and they’re not nearly as wholesome as you’d like for people to believe them to be. I was at his place last night when I stumbled upon those beauties tucked beneath his pillow.”
Lily’s lips twitch with a satisfactory smile. “Just where I left them. I hope they inspired him to have very naughty dreams about me.”
I groan as a couple of older women quickly abandon their table and scuttle right out the door.
Naomi lets out a sharp bite of a laugh. “He couldn’t be dreaming about you because I was there keeping him too busy to sleep.”
Lily attempts to lunge over the counter and I hold up a hand, stopping her midflight.
“Lily”—I take a quick breath in the event I need to employ my own wrestling moves in a moment—“why don’t you take a break? Maybe rinse your hands and apron with bleach or something? I’ll make up a box for Naomi to take back to the staff at the Evergreen Manor because she was just leaving.”
Naomi rolls her eyes, but Lily is quick to comply with my wishes.
“Are you crazy coming in here and confronting her like that?” I hiss as we watch Lily walk straight out the front door for some air. Lord knows there’s not enough air in all of Honey Hollow to defuse that ball of anger.
Naomi shrugs. “She’s the one that started it. I wasn’t going to sleep with Alex at all until he settled his feelings for us. But Lily drew first play at his mattress and left me with no choice but to compete.”
“Ugh. You’re both doing it with him? That’s beyond reprehensible. You were lifelong best friends before he came to town, and in five hot Alex Fox minutes, he inadvertently managed to dismantle what it took a lifetime for the two of you to build.”
“Oh, relax. You’ve always been so dramatic. So he’s taking us for a test drive, so what? We both secretly wanted it. And now that I’ve gotten a preview myself, I know exactly what I’m fighting for.” She sets her hands down on the counter and leans hard on them as a faraway look takes over her eyes. “He’s incredible, Lottie. If Noah was half as good as he is, I have no clue what you’re still doing with that judge.”
“Yes, well, don’t forget I’ve done the deed with that legal eagle, too.”
“And?” Her eyes bulge with the question.
“And it’s none of your business. Do me a favor and keep your boyfriend squabble outside these doors. In fact”—I s
tart while quickly putting together that box of goodies I promised—“why don’t you head outside these doors and apologize to Lily for letting a boy, of all things, get between you? It goes strictly against girl code to behave this way. Only one of you will end up with Alex. Don’t let him turn you into something you never wanted to be. No man is worth taking down a friendship.” I slide the box of sweet pumpkin treats her way. “They’re on me.”
“Thank you,” she says, quickly cradling it in her arms like a tiny pink bundle.
Hey? I wonder if Noah and I will have a boy or a girl?
“Lottie”—Naomi grunts as if she were under great compulsion to speak to me, and I have no doubt she is, considering the fact I’m far from her favorite person—“I just want to thank you for adding a little clarity to the situation for me. I was so bent on winning Alex—and I always win, we both know that—I actually lost sight of Lily. I guess it’s time to rectify that.”
“Naomi, that’s great. So you’re going to apologize to Lily for your behavior and the two of you are going to figure out the best way to deal with this situation?”
“Heck no. Lily will apologize to me, and then we’ll head down to the Scarlet Sage Boutique together and she’ll help me pick out my own La Perla panties. Because that’s what best friends do.”
“Yes, they pick out unmentionables to entertain their shared boyfriends with.”
She turns to leave and a thought hits me. “Naomi? What’s Trisha’s old assistant doing now that she’s sort of out of a job? Is she your new assistant?”
Her chest bounces at the idea. “I don’t need an assistant. I have an entire staff already in place to help me. Trisha didn’t need one either. I never understood how the company let that fly—especially Trisha. For someone who liked to point the finger at my egregious spending, she sure indulged in her own wasteful squandering of profits. Jade is no longer with the Evergreen.”
“Do you know where she went?”
She crimps a wicked smile as she trots back close to the counter. “She wanted in with the Elite Entourage, but her own friend Annette Havershem wouldn’t let her in.” I make a face. Let’s not forget Naomi herself was with the EE for a time.
“Where did she end up?”
“She’s working the house—the Red Room Playhouse is Red Satin’s dirty cousin.”
“You mean it could get dirtier than Red Satin?”
She gives a single nod. “The Canelli brothers own both.”
I gasp at the mention of their wicked name. The Canellis are a huge crime family that run Leeds and own just about every seedy part of it. I helped put their baby sister away for a very long time, so I’m betting they’re not too happy with me right about now.
Meg works at Red Satin—that’s the seedy establishment in which she teaches strippers to shimmy.
Naomi shrugs. “Jade is doing the bawdy story time for adults. It’s basically the opening act before the girls come on stage. It’s not quite a strip club like Red Satin. We’re talking burlesque, dinner theater type stuff. It’s just another venue the Elite Entourage uses to bring in customers. All the girls are encouraged to mingle after the show, and the men are typically great tippers. I used to haul in fifteen grand a month when I was doing it myself.”
My eyes bulge the size of my pumpkin cinnamon rolls.
She shrugs again. “It’s good work if you can get it. Easier than the glam dates the EE hooks you up with. I think that’s why Annette put Jade there. She told me once she sees her as a little sister.”
“What made you transfer from such a cushy gig to the mean streets of the EE dating scene?” And I use the term dating as loosely as their morals.
“They only let the new girls do that. It’s sort of an indoctrination process. Get them used to the money, the glitz, and the glamour, and then throw them out to the wolves.” Naomi deflates as if she just relived her poor choices in a microsecond.
“You’re not still doing that, are you?” I ask with the utmost caution in the event she decides to fling the contents of that box my way.
“I was up until I met Alex. And now I only do group dates on nights he’s with Lily. I guess you could say he’s tamed my wild side. And before you let your filthy mind wander, I’ve never opted to take the date to home base. The girls always make the final call, and we always get paid for our time.”
“Good for you, Naomi. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t give me any relief. You deserve to be loved by a man.”
“I suppose so. But earning a couple hundred dollars a date doesn’t hurt either.”
She takes off and I pull out my phone and text a certain judge that I love.
The Red Room Playhouse. Tonight. Are you up for some naughty story time?
Everett texts right back. I’m always up for getting naughty with you.
My lips twist as I read his response. Yes, Everett is always a willing participant in my schemes, and at one point I was a willing participant in his bedroom. I feel terrible he’s put his body on ice just for me.
I wonder what Everett would do if I encouraged him to see other people?
A brief vision of an entire gaggle of woman dog-piling on top of him in a free-for-all flits through my mind, and I quickly flit it right back out. The thought of Everett with another woman brings my blood to an instant boil.
On second thought, I’m far too greedy to let Everett back into the wild.
Too bad I can’t seem to give myself sound advice the way I so easily doled it out to Naomi. My heart is still very much spliced in half, and I’ve inadvertently gifted it to two different men. I’m not throwing Everett to the estrogen-based wolves, and I’m not giving Noah over to death either. I want them both right here by my side until it becomes crystal clear what I should do.
In the meantime, I’m going to visit with Jade Pope tonight, and hopefully it will become crystal clear who killed Trisha Maples.
Something has to give, and I’m hoping that something is Jade Pope’s loose lips.
Chapter 13
The Red Room Playhouse is a regal looking building that stands erect just a few paces down the street from Red Satin. The clientele looks remarkably world-class, nothing but distinguished men of every age dressed to impress the hookers in training. There’s even a smattering of women sprinkled about, and even they look elegant and impeccable.
Everett looks downright alarming in his gray suit. His slick silver tie makes his blue eyes glow like homing beacons for any lady of the night worth her salt to migrate to. And, of course, I’m not impervious to his comely appearance.
“Everett, you don’t play fair,” I hiss as he takes up my hand and growls out a dull laugh. “You realize that we’re in a no-fly zone and yet you look like this in my presence. I really need to find the shut-off valve for my attraction to you.”
His lids lower just a notch until it looks as if he’s smoldering at me. “Lemon, you just say the word and I’ll help you with your needs. From what I’ve read, your needs will only increase as those hormones pour through you.”
“And, believe me, they are. I’ve been running hot and cold from rage to—well, grief. Everett, since Noah landed in the hospital, it feels as if we’ve been on a never-ending roller coaster of emotion.”
His eyes widen a notch at something behind me. “Prepare for anther bumpy ride.”
I turn around and gasp at the sight before me.
Striding this way, grinning from ear-to-ear, are both Carlotta and Mayor Nash.
“Oh my God,” I moan as if I were about to be sick.
“Lottie Lemon.” Carlotta slaps me on the back. “It’s nice to see you stepping out for a good old-fashioned raunchy date night with the plus one stand-in.”
I scoff. “Everett is no stand-in. We’re—” Oh Lord, I have zero clue what Everett and I are.
Mayor Nash leans in with that grin still satiating his face. “You’re parents. Or soon-to-be. Congratulations, Lottie. Judge Baxter. Of course, I won’t tell a soul.”
“Thank you.” I scowl at Carlotta because I assume it will be asking a bit too much for her to agree to go along with his good sense—not that he has a history of good sense. It’s well known Mayor Nash is a serial philanderer. “What are the two of you doing here?”
Carlotta does this squiggly thing with her eyes that I can’t quite decode, but, if I had to guess, I’d think she just stumbled upon something too good to believe.
“You mean you don’t know?” She cocks her head to the side with a look of curiosity.
“Of course, we know,” I say, rolling my eyes at Everett. “This is a bawdy book reading much like those that take place in my innocent bakery in the name of literature. Everett and I just thought we’d stop by and—” I shrug over at him in hopes he’ll finish my ridiculous sentence for me.
He nods. “And wet our appetite before we head home and get to bed. Having Noah in the hospital isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac.”
“Oh, good Lord. Et tu, Everett?”
Carlotta chortles up a storm. “I believe it’s Essex to you, Lottie. And don’t you worry. Your bawdy secret is safe with me. I won’t breathe a word of any of this to your mother.”
“Thank you, Carlotta. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
The doors open, and soon the glut of men in suits, the smattering of well-dressed women, all file inside at record speed as if a wall of fire were pursuing them.
The interior of the playhouse looks every bit like an upscale theater, with its crimson-colored carpet and its glossy concession stand in the lobby. Three sets of double doors allow the masses to flood into the restaurant-style seating area. The small bistro tables each have a pumpkin dotting them along with a smoldering candle. The seats all quickly fill up, and Everett and I take a seat up front with Carlotta and Mayor Nash landing at the table next to us.
No, this isn’t weird at all. I’m sure listening to Jade Pope read the dirty parts of a novel out loud in front of my biological parents won’t traumatize me one bit.
Pumpkin Pie Parting Page 11