The Canadian Civil War: Volume 3 - West to the Wall

by William Wresch

Chapter 32

  The LNA arrives

  Charles decided six am was a great time to call me. He and I were never going to be friends.

  “An old friend of yours arrived a few minutes ago. We have scheduled a meeting for 7 in the provincial offices. Please join us.” And he hung up, leaving me to wonder who the “old friend” might be. Just what I always like at dawn – a mystery. I had time to shower and change and get one cup of coffee in me, but after less than four hours of sleep, one cup didn’t exactly do magic. But it got my feet moving in the right direction.

  I was still sleepy and a bit grumpy when I got to the provincial offices, but I woke up fast when I got to the front door and found half a dozen soldiers in full uniform standing in the lobby. They were all armed, and they looked ready to fight. I stopped dead in my tracks to stare at them, only to have the usual door guy grab my arm and practically lead me down to the usual basement room. Another phone conference?

  No, this meeting was face-to-face, or practically nose to nose. There were men on each side of the conference table, and each side was staring daggers at the other side. On the side closest to the door (which now closed behind me) was Charles, now in full uniform, two other soldiers in uniform, and three of the local police, also in uniform. Apparently today was the day to make sure your uniform was cleaned and pressed.

  On the other side of the table was the reason for the meeting. Three LNA men sat there, also in uniform. If you have not seen their uniform, you won’t be surprised to learn it is primarily white, with blue trim. These men also wore belts across their chests and I could see leather holsters at their sides. No wonder the guys upstairs were armed. I didn’t know two of the LNA men, but I did know the one who sat in the middle – Major Goulet.

  “Professor Murphy, please take that seat.” Charles pointed to a seat at the end of the table. I would not be on either side. Was he making a point? “Colonel Goulet asked for your attendance at this meeting, so here you are.” So the major was now a colonel? Why not a general in this pretend army – it had been weeks. As for Charles, it looked like he was an officer too, but I could not tell his rank. What I could tell is he wanted no part of Goulet, and he also wanted me gone.

  “Colonel Goulet” Charles continued, making the word “colonel” sound like a profane term boys would use. “arrived this morning. We were just beginning our discussions. So far we have acknowledged that Canadian citizens are allowed to bear arms, no matter how oddly they are dressed. So he and his friends can keep their side arms.”

  “As always,” Goulet responded, “we are surprised when the representatives of the Green Bay government follow the law. What happens next? You allow us to breathe? To eat? To travel? Major, we are here to save you from major embarrassment. We do not expect thanks from your government, but reasonable courtesy would make this process go along more smoothly.”

  “The only embarrassment is yours, and your right to courtesy vanished when you put on those silly uniforms.”

  “The only thing being silly in this room is you. We are here to help. Do you take our help, or not?”

  “What would your ‘help’ consist of?”

  “Finally, a question worth asking. Let’s talk. First, you need the men in the hotel gone, and gone without major incident. If they stay, they threaten the town, and they threaten the story you tell about how peaceful and marvelous life in Canada is. If you attack them, you demonstrate one more time how oppressive your government is.”

  “They are already leaving. There are just ten left. They might leave on their own today or tomorrow.”

  “And the tooth fairy might help them pack.” At this point I thought Charles was going to fly across the table. “They aren’t going anywhere. They think they have been wronged, and they are confident that while some leave, others will join them.”

  “They think men from your army will be coming up here. If you try that, those uniforms aren’t going to be white very long.”

  “The Louisiana National Army is not an invasion force. We seek only to defend our homeland. We will not being coming up here. We won’t give you an excuse to attack our men.”

  “Tell that to the thugs in the hotel, and they may leave.”

  “I have much to tell the men in the hotel, but only if you meet our conditions.”

  “And those would be…”

  “First, those men face no charges. That’s an easy one is it not? You don’t want those men in a court where they can tell what they have seen and what you and the Sioux have done.” Charles made no response. He was staring at Goulet like he wanted his eyes to bore holes in him.

  “Second, they face no interference as they leave. They get into their vehicles, drive around town to buy gas or groceries, and leave just as if they were tourists.”

  “Third, I and my men were never here. You are to take no photographs, record no video, or tell any media representatives of this visit. And fourth, Professor Murphy goes with us to the hotel.”

  “Why him?”

  “That’s my business. Now, if you need time to talk with your superiors and get their permission, feel free.” At this point I thought Charles really was going to lose it. His chest got bigger, his fists clenched, and his jaw clenched. Goulet didn’t seem to care. He sat very still and waited, but it looked to me his two men were uncomfortable. One shifted in his chair and put a hand closer to his holster.

  “Here are my terms.” Charles put his hands on the table and counted out the terms. I suddenly noticed just how large his hands were. Maybe that was the real point of the gesture.

  “First, you have those thugs out of the hotel by dark. We’ve had enough of our homes burned. Second, you also leave town by dark. That uniform you are wearing is enough to make me puke. Third, we will be telling all hotel employees to leave the building immediately. Anyone still in that hotel at sundown – 4:45 today – is going to die. That’s the deal.”

  “And you agree to our conditions?”

  “Yes. All the boys get a free pass out of town. But, and you need to make this clear to them, if any return to Dakota ever again, they will see the inside of a jail for a very long time.”

  “Of course. One more threat. Your government is so good at them. And now, “He and his men stood. “We will go and solve your problem. Dr. Murphy, if you would join us.” And the four of us walked out of the room and upstairs. There was a coat room up there and the three men each put on a large winter coat to hide their uniform. That done, we walked out the door to their vehicle, a large off- the road truck with huge tires. These guys were going all out in their effort to look military.

  They drove about four blocks down a side street, the two junior officers in the front seat, while Goulet and I sat in the rear. Goulet created some distance between himself and the provincial office and then had the driver pull over. He wanted to talk.

  “You are probably wondering why I invited you along.”

  “Yes. This whole thing looks pretty simple to me. They expect the LNA to rescue them. Instead, you come along and tell them to leave. They should listen and leave. None of that involves me.”

  “No, none of it involves you. But it should. You are on the wrong side. You have been from the first. Your country is one of the best allies we have. There is much the U.S. can do for Louisiana, and much Louisiana can do for the U.S.”

  “I hope one of the things my country can do for Louisiana is to convince you to take that uniform off. You are headed down a road that will ruin many lives – including your own.”

  “Do you remember what you said to me last summer?”

  “If you mean during the fire on that ship, I suppose it was, let’s get off this damn boat.” That got a chuckle from Goulet, and I thought I saw some reaction from the front seat. They could hear every word we said, but of course were pretending they weren’t listening.

  “No, we were in a park about to hear lots of speeches f
rom townsfolk celebrating the arrival of the centennial wagon train. You told me that our organization was run by criminals and I would end up being a victim of them.”

  “That’s a pretty easy prediction. Through lots of history the idealists start something, and the thugs finish it – and the idealists.”

  “Today I want to show you another ending to that story. Today the thugs lose. Maybe it will help you see that you are wrong about many things.”

  “We shall see.”

  “Yes, we shall see, but you will not tell. The price of your lesson is this – you can tell the public nothing of what you see. I don’t want to see another one of your damn blogs. No pictures of us or the men or the hotel. No long stories about how the LNA did this or that. You are free to talk with your friends – both the ones in Green Bay – and the ones in Philadelphia.” He emphasized the last phrase, insinuating I had secret connections there. “You might help both groups better understand us. But there will be no front page stories this time. Do you agree?”

  “The Canadian government has already agreed to hide your involvement in this. I can do the same.”

  “Can you? We shall see if you are a man of honor.” He directed the driver to go to the hotel. As we drove, he ignored me and spoke to his men. One – Lieutenant Delaet – was to be sure to bring the case. The other – Lieutenant Tremaine - was to follow the plan. Apparently I would learn of the plan once we got into the hotel – part of my education into the side of the LNA that I had been missing.

  The driver pulled the huge vehicle right up to the front doors of the hotel and left it there. Apparently it was important that the truck be visible to those inside. Once parked, the driver got out and opened the door for Goulet. Goulet and his lieutenants got out, stood for a moment, and then slowly marched into the hotel, looking like they were there to buy it. They got into the lobby and stood side by side, staring at the place. There sure wasn’t much to see. The furniture looked even more broken than it had been the last time I was there. And now, in additional to the broken chairs, the place was littered with fast food wrappers and piles of beer cans. They looked to have drunk every can of beer in the province. There were mountains of cans everywhere.

  At one of the tables that still stood on four legs, three of the angry-men sat and talked. When they saw Goulet they stopped their conversation, but did not say anything or even acknowledge the existence of the new men. Goulet left things like that for a full minute, staring at the men, not saying a word, and then he took off his coat and handed it to a lieutenant. Now standing in full uniform, he continued to stare at the three men, waiting for them to react.

  One of them did. Shouting from his seat across the room he asked, “Hey, are you LNA?”

  “We were told there were soldiers here, “Goulet replied. “If there were soldiers in this room, by now they would be standing at attention, saluting a superior officer.” That got some action. The men at the table jumped up and stood at some version of attention, their right hands to their heads. One guy was swaying a bit – still hung over from last night’s beer? – but he managed to keep standing.

  Goulet returned their salute. “Our intelligence people tell us there are still ten survivors of this mission. I want all ten here in two minutes to report. Go now. Get your comrades.” He stood and waited while the three men rushed up the stairs to get the rest of the angry-men. Neither he nor his lieutenants moved a muscle while time passed and first one and then several of the men came down the stairs, all of them looking like they could desperately use a shave, a hair cut, a bath, clean clothes, and far less beer. The first two walked right up to Goulet and his men looking to shake hands and say hello. One of the lieutenants ignored their hands and ordered them to stand in a line near the registration desk. Other than “get in line,” nothing was said for the next ten minutes while the men came down to the lobby.

  The last two down were obviously the Dubuissant brothers. They also wanted to talk, and one even challenged Goulet, saying “What took you so long?” while the other said, “You will be impressed by how much we have accomplished with so few men.” Goulet ignored them both, while his lieutenant repeated with increasing volume, “Get in line.” Eventually they did.

  Standing in a line like that, somehow they looked even more pathetic. The last ones down the stairs had tried to comb their hair or put on a clean shirt, but it didn’t hide the fact they were hung over. One guy near the end looked like he was ready to be sick at any moment. Goulet let them stand while he stared.

  At a signal from Goulet, Lieutenant Tremaine shouted “attention.” The angry-men tried. They stood a bit straighter with their hands down by their sides, but the shirts hanging out of their pants, and the hair hanging in patches over bald heads made their efforts at military gestures laughable. “This is Colonel Goulet. He is here to inspect this platoon and to get your report. When he asks you a question, you will give him a direct answer. Do you understand?” Several men said “yes”, and a couple others nodded agreement. Tremaine let them have it.

  “When I ask a question, I expect to hear “Yes, Sir.” Do you understand me?” This time the general response was “yes, sir,” but it was being said by men with aching heads and queasy stomachs. So Tremaine tried again, this time even louder. “Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir.” They were louder and stood straighter. Part of me felt sorry for them. For a bunch of hung over drunks, they were doing the best they could.

  “Men,” Goulet took over. “This mission is now ended. We have been monitoring your actions, and we are pleased with the effort that many of you have made. You will be evaluated individually, paid for your service, and then you will return home.” The word “paid” seemed to work magic on this bunch. Suddenly they were even more awake. “We will begin with roll call. Lieutenant Delaet, if you would record, please.”

  Delaet pulled a chair over to a table and opened his case on it. In his case was a pile of cash he did nothing to conceal. Of course that might have been the point. He pulled out a pad of paper and sat ready with a pen. Once Delaet was ready, Goulet walked up to the first man in line.

  “Your name, your home town, and the number of days you have served here.”

  “Andre Fontaine, New Lorraine, Colorado. I have been here 8 days.”

  “Good report. Lieutenant Delaet, what is our report on Private Fontaine?”

  “Satisfactory service.”

  “Very good. Private Fontaine, you will be paid eight thousand francs for your special service.” At this point I thought every man in line would explode in celebration. The man was getting paid a small fortune for sitting around a hotel drinking beer. “You will gather your belongings, and you will leave immediately. You will go directly to your home in Colorado. You will say nothing about this mission to anyone. When asked about your travels you will tell people you have been hunting or vacationing. This mission is secret and will remain secret. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Lieutenant Delaet has a document for you to sign. If you violate the terms of the agreement, there will be consequences. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. Thank you for your service. You are dismissed.” Fontaine hurried over to Delaet, signed a form without glancing at it, took his money, and rushed off to get his belongings. He was out of the hotel before Goulet could even start with the second man.

  The process for the next seven men went pretty much as it had for the first. The only difference came two times when Delaet’s report indicated a man had been “exemplary,” and Goulet told Delaet to make a note in the record that the man was “recommended for non-commissioned officer training.” I must have missed it the first time, but when the second recommendation was made, I could see Goulet was holding one hand slightly behind his back with two fingers pointing to the side. A signal? Was Goulet making up these evaluations as he wen
t along? That made sense. I doubted he really had any idea who had done what up here, or even who these men were.

  The other difference came as he dismissed them. Several he told to leave immediately, the others he gave some task in town – buy groceries, stop for gas and stay for a long cup of coffee, that sort of thing. He explained he did not want everyone to exit the same way. It was to look random, as if some were staying and some were going. But all would ultimately be going and be out of town within an hour. He got no argument from anyone. They were happy to be out of the hotel, happy to be praised by the colonel, and happy to have so much money in their pockets. If they knew how to dance, they might have danced their way out of town.

  Then there was the last two – the Dubuissant brothers. Goulet left them standing at attention until the last of the “privates” had left the hotel. Standing straight like that for twenty minutes would have been hard on anyone, but I would think it was murder with a hangover. I suspect the only thing holding them vertical was the thought of all the money they were going to get.

  “Lieutenant Delaet, will you read the performance report we have on these men?” Delaet pulled out two folders. This time it appeared there really was a record. “Guy Dubuisson. Private. Service period fourteen months. Dismissed from service after a conviction for theft. Philippe Dubuisson. Private. Service period fourteen months. Dismissed from service after a conviction for theft.” Delaet put the folders down and looked at the Dubuissons. Goulet stared at the brothers but said nothing. Tremaine took the pistol from his holster and chambered a round. In the silent lobby, the echo of the pistol’s action sounded like a whip cracking. One brother raised a hand as if to hold off a bullet. I am sure he thought he was going to be shot on the spot.

  “We were trying to help.” Guy whined. He and his brother were both looking first at Goulet and then at Tremaine and then at Tremaine’s pistol. You have never seen heads move so fast. It was like a blur.

  “You lied about your rank, and you lied about your membership in the Louisiana National Army.” Goulet stated. “Those crimes are adjudicated by a court martial. If found guilty, the punishment ranges from confinement to execution. Since armed conflict was involved during the commitment of the crimes, I would expect execution to be the finding.”

  “But we were trying to help.” Guy again. Philippe looked too scared to move his lips. “We heard the army was attacking the Sioux, and we wanted to help.”

  “Don’t be an idiot. Why would the army attack the Sioux? Our fight is in Louisiana. And look at what you have done.” He gestured around the room. “You have dishonored us all. You will leave now. And I do mean right this minute. You will take nothing with you. You will walk out that door, go to your truck, and drive directly out of town. You will go to your homes and await a visit from the adjutant general’s office.”

  “And our pay?” Guy asked, his voice trembling.

  “Have you lost your mind?” Goulet shouted. “Turn around and walk out that door right now or your pay will be a bullet.” Both men rushed for the door. At the last minute Guy dared to take one look back. What he saw was Tremaine with his arm raised to fire. That was enough for him. He and his brother pushed through the doors and out into the cold.

  “Lieutenant Tremaine, if you would monitor the front of the hotel to ensure all the men have left. And allow no one entry until we have completed our inspection. Lieutenant Delaet, please check the rooms upstairs for left over men and belongings.” Goulet then turned and looked at me, but said nothing. I had nothing to say either. It had been an interesting show. I wondered how the play would end.

  We stood around waiting. About ten minutes later, Delaet came down stairs carrying two rifles and two large bags. He put the rifles against the wall and opened the two bags on the registration desk. One of them had a smaller bag inside filled with jewelry. So the pawn shop burglary was now solved. Goulet picked up the bag of jewelry and gave it to me. “I assume you can get this back where it belongs.” I took the bag. He then called to Tremaine and asked him to get the driver “and the bags.”

  The driver came in with a large pouch. It turned out to be filled with plastic garbage bags. Each of the men took a garbage bag and started filling it with trash from around the room. Did they have a hundred bags and a dump truck? This was going to take all night. But they got at it, and, yes, eventually I took a bag too and began filling it with beer cans. The aluminum recycler in town was going to get rich. Two hours later the trash was gone, to be replaced by a huge pile of garbage bags at the front doors. The lobby was still filled with broken furniture, but at least an effort had been made at cleaning.

  That work done, the men gathered up their cases, the two rifles, the extra bags, and put it all in the back of their vehicle. They were done, and it was clear they were leaving. Their coats back on to cover their uniforms, they got into the truck. Goulet stood for a moment outside the truck and turned to me. “Give some thought to what you have seen here. We are not who you think we are.” He didn’t wait for a response from me. I had none. He closed his door and the truck headed south out of town. Goodbye LNA.