And then Clarence was gone. Rhys’s smile was gone. In pictures of him with his grandma, he was staring off into the distance, never engaged with her or with the camera man. It was like the whole world was marching by him, and he didn’t have a clue.
“He was really affected by the loss of his grandpa,” Zachary observed.
Vera nodded. She opened her mouth to explain further, then thought better of it. A secret. Something she wasn’t ready to divulge.
“Did Robin and Gloria stay close?” Zachary asked. “Or I should say, did they reconnect again when they got older?”
“Not like when they were children. They were both very strong women. And strong women…”
Zachary thought of Bridget. “They don’t always get along with each other. Or with others. My wife always said that if a woman is assertive and says what she wants, she gets called… well…” he didn’t want to shock Vera with the language Bridget had actually used. “Some not very complimentary things.”
“People say they want men and women to be equal, but the truth is, women are still trained to put others before themselves, to be caregivers first, and to care about outward appearances. You don’t get a man by being ugly and pushy. And you need a man.”
Zachary sighed. “We still have a ways to go in that department. I know that in the families I lived with, it was always the mother who was in charge of the cooking and cleaning and childcare. She could delegate some of it, but she was the one who was responsible for those areas. It was her job to see that things got done, and to take the blame if they didn’t.”
“We’ve come a long way. But we’re not there yet.”
Zachary nodded his agreement. His eyes were caught by the picture of Robin with someone else on the mantel. It was off in the corner, so he hadn’t noticed it right away. It wasn’t the same man as had been in the family picture with her. Stanley. It was someone else.
Before Zachary could ask Vera for details, the front door opened and a woman walked in. After looking through pictures for an hour, Zachary knew the oval face and long, carefully-styled wavy hair. She had obviously taken great care to apply her makeup, but it didn’t hide the bags under Gloria’s eyes or the beginning of crow’s feet at the corners of her eyes. Her mouth was turned down even before she realized they had company.
Gloria stopped and looked at Zachary as she kicked off her heels. “Who are you?”
“This is Zachary, Gloria,” Vera explained, surprising Zachary by remembering his name after all. “His wife was one of the other ladies in Robin’s unit. At the treatment center.”
“Was?” Gloria repeated cautiously. “I’m sorry, did she…”
“She went into remission,” Zachary was quick to fill her in. “She’s starting to get her hair back and feel like herself again.”
There was pain in Vera’s eyes. Maybe in Gloria’s too, but she masked it better.
“I’m sorry. That was insensitive.” Zachary’s chest hurt when he realized he’d made them feel worse. They had lost their family member, and Zachary blithely told them that his was all better. How could he be so stupid? His brain whirled as he looked for a way to take it back and make them feel better. “I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I just didn’t want you thinking she was—she had passed—I didn’t want you thinking you had to feel sorry for me. You have your own troubles, you don’t need to worry about mine.”
Both women were silent, apparently uncertain how to deal with his verbal diarrhea. Zachary clamped his mouth shut. Talking wasn’t making it any better. If there was a way to make it any worse, that was exactly what he was going to do. So he would shut up.
“Well, anyway…” Vera sighed. “Zachary heard about Robin’s passing and he came over for a visit.”
Gloria was clearly suspicious. And she had a right to be. Men didn’t just go around visiting elderly women who had lost their daughters. Not without some kind of motive. Men were predators and women like Vera were prey. Zachary slid a couple of inches away from Vera as discreetly as he could.
“Bridget was worried about you,” he told Gloria, encompassing the whole family with his ‘you.’ “With Robin passing so unexpectedly…”
Gloria walked the rest of the way into the room and put down a large, heavy-looking handbag. It was brown leather, with lots of shiny clasps and decorations, mirroring the chunky jewelry Gloria wore. She was a forceful woman with a big personality. It was only natural her accouterments would say ‘look at me.’ The exact opposite to Zachary, who strove to make everything about himself less visible and less memorable. He was always trying to fade into the background where he could just watch and listen and find things out without people even remembering he was there.
“If Bridget was worried, then why isn’t Bridget here?”
“She… wasn’t up to it. She has to be careful and conserve her energy for when she needs it.” This was far less true than it had been a few months before. He didn’t know how much Bridget was able to do, but she seemed to be pretty much back to her old self. The way she had been before the cancer had struck.
Gloria sat down in one of the armchairs. Her gaze was piercing. Zachary had to look away.
“Robin’s death was not unexpected,” Gloria said. “I’m not sure where you got that idea. Surely if your wife had cancer, you know all about it. When the cancer travels to other parts of the body—liver, bones, lungs—then you know they don’t have much time left. We knew Robin was living on borrowed time.”
“Oh… from what I heard, I was under the impression—Bridget was under the impression—that it happened earlier than the doctor had said. That they thought she still had time left. Months, even.”
“What are a few months?” Gloria’s voice was thick with grief. “Before the cancer, everyone thought she had a lifetime ahead of her. Time for… all of those things left undone. But a few months? A few months is nothing!”
Zachary looked for a way to formulate an answer. But Vera was sitting beside him shaking her head.
“I would have wanted more time with her. A few months would have been wonderful. I would have taken a few days. A few hours. It was so quick.”
“You were surprised, then?” Zachary turned his head back toward her. “You didn’t think she was ready to die yet, did you?”
“No,” Vera agreed emphatically.
“It doesn’t matter if she was ready to die,” Gloria said. “That’s not the way it works. We don’t get to pick our time. It just comes sneaking up behind us, and then… it strikes.”
“I didn’t think it was Robin’s time,” Vera said. She looked at Gloria. “Do you?”
Her strength was of a different sort than Gloria’s. Gloria was all challenge and hard edges. Vera was strong too, but in a different way. She didn’t bend under her daughter’s insistence. She just looked at her, waiting for her answer.
Gloria sagged, losing much of her bravado. “No. You’re right… she should have had… more time.”
That meant there were three people who didn’t think it had been Robin’s time to go. Maybe Bridget was on to something. Maybe she wasn’t just afraid that it could have been her. Frightened that she might be looking in a mirror.
Zachary let them just sit in silence for a few minutes, thinking about Robin and about how she had been taken from them too quickly.
“Do you think…” Zachary wanted to speak as quietly as their own consciences. He wanted them to think it was their own idea. “Is there any possibility that there was a mistake? That the hospital might have done something…? A wrong treatment, maybe? Things do happen…”
Vera and Gloria both stared at him. Neither one jumped in with the exclamation that he could be right. It wasn’t something they had already been thinking. It wasn’t something that they immediately discounted, though, either. They looked at each other. Gloria shook her head and eventually, Vera followed suit.
“No,” she agreed. “The hospital was always very good. The staff was very friendly and respectful a
nd well-trained. I never felt like they didn’t know what they were talking about. They were always willing to take the time to explain everything.”
“Robin died because she had cancer,” Gloria said flatly. “There wasn’t anything anyone could have done. She had cancer, and that’s what took her. It was her time, even if we didn’t like it.” Gloria looked at her mother. “God’s timing is never the same as ours, is it? The Lord chooses his own time.”
“His ways are higher than our ways,” Vera agreed. They both seemed to be happy with this answer.
But Zachary had never been a religious person. He had lived in some foster families who had strong Christian beliefs, but he’d never understood their faith in what couldn’t be seen or heard or demonstrated in any way. It seemed like people just wanted to delude themselves. Vera and Gloria might believe that Robin had been taken before her time, but they were willing to lay that on God and accept it as His will.
Zachary wasn’t willing to do that.
“You wouldn’t mind, would you, if I asked around a little bit?” he suggested. “Bridget asked me to look into it, see if anything was suspicious or out of place. I’m sure it’s nothing, but you wouldn’t mind me asking a few questions, would you?”
Vera shrugged. “We don’t know the answers to any of your questions.”
“What do you mean?” Gloria raised her voice. “Ask who a few questions? Is that why you’re here? To nose around here and see if one of us had anything to do with Robin’s death? I can’t believe the nerve!”
“No, no, I wasn’t accusing you of anything. I just wondered whether… I’ve been making some inquiries at the hospital, and I wondered if you would mind if I said that you wanted the answers too. That you wanted to make sure it really was Robin’s time to go…”
“Who are you?”
“He’s Bridget’s husband,” Vera told her daughter, not understanding what Gloria was upset about.
“Something isn’t right here,” Gloria said. “He’s asking questions at the hospital? He comes here asking about Robin? He wants our permission to… what, investigate?”
Zachary shrugged, hoping she would wind down and decide that was okay if he didn’t let it become a confrontation.
“I don’t remember ever seeing him visiting the cancer unit,” Gloria said to Vera. “Do you? Do you remember ever seeing him before?”
“Well, no…”
“Bridget isn’t my wife,” Zachary explained. “She’s my ex-wife. When she found out she had cancer… she didn’t want me around. She wanted to face it by herself, without any… distractions. She didn’t want to have to worry about anyone else’s needs. Just to focus on her own recovery.” He swallowed and took a minute to try to slow his breathing and keep himself from getting too emotional. Bridget had been right. She had been able to put all of her energy into healing and had recovered. Robin had not been able to do the same. “We’re still on good terms. She asked me if I would look into Robin’s death. And just make sure that everything was… usual. Nothing irregular.”
Gloria suddenly swore. Zachary could see by her expression that it wasn’t that she didn’t believe him. She had just put it together. She knew who he was.
“You’re that private investigator. You’ve been on TV and the internet.”
“A private investigator?” Vera repeated in a tiny voice.
“He’s conducting a murder investigation.” Gloria’s voice shook. “He thinks someone killed Robin!”
“I’m just looking into it.” Zachary tried to calm her. “There isn’t any evidence here of murder. I’m just looking at the circumstances. Making sure that there isn’t anything that might indicate that it might not have been…” he trailed off, too tangled up in the words and emotions to continue.
“Well, you can leave us out of it. You don’t have our permission to do anything on Robin’s behalf or my mother’s behalf. You can’t use our names. We don’t want you to pursue this any further!”
Zachary put his hands on his knees and pushed himself up. It was time to be heading back to the hospital again anyway.
“Can I leave you with my card in case you have any questions or you change your minds?”
“No,” Gloria snapped.
Zachary took one out anyway and put it beside Vera before leaving.
Chapter Five
M
eeting with Vera had not gone as well as Zachary had hoped, but neither had it gone as badly as he had feared. He had learned a lot about Robin’s family and background. They hadn’t found the circumstances of Robin’s death to be suspicious. He might not have their blessing to continue with the investigation, but he did have more facts and a clearer picture of the person Robin had been.
He was driving back to the hospital when his phone rang. Glancing at the display, Zachary answered it hands-free.
“Bridget? Is everything okay?”
“Why wouldn’t everything be okay?”
Zachary didn’t respond, momentarily tongue-tied. Was she looking for a status report already? Had she changed her mind and realized looking for an outside cause in Robin’s death was a waste of time? She didn’t normally call him unless there was something wrong. Usually, because she was upset about something Zachary was doing.
“I just called to see if you were going to look into Robin Salter’s death,” Bridget said in a more conciliatory tone. “Nothing is wrong.”
“Okay. Good. I’m already on it. I’ve talked to a few people, one of the nurses, her family; I’m just on my way to talk to Dr. West.”
“He’s probably pretty busy.”
“I have an appointment with him.”
“Oh. That’s great.” Bridget took a deep breath. “Thank you so much, Zachary. I really appreciate you taking this on. I know you’re probably busy with all kinds of other cases.”
“I can make time for it. So far, everything seems to be fine. Nobody seems to be worried or suspicious of anything that happened. Like you say, it was quicker than anyone expected, but that does happen sometimes.”
“I know…” Bridget sounded distant. “It’s just that… she was still so strong. And then all of a sudden, it was over. She was sick for a few days, and I thought she was just tired and she would get over it with some rest, and then they said she had passed. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“She was sick before she died?”
“Just a couple of days. It shouldn’t have been the end.”
Zachary kept his mouth shut and didn’t argue with her about it. If Robin had experienced a worsening of symptoms, then that argued for natural causes, not some accident or medical neglect by the hospital.
“I’ll do what I can to find out,” he promised.
“Thank you, Zachary. I do appreciate it.”
Zachary got goosebumps. He remembered the way that she used to talk to him. The way that she used to make him feel. It made him warm and happy to be appreciated by her. Maybe they were getting past the rift that the cancer had caused. Maybe Bridget was getting to the point where she was willing to accept that they had broken up because she had pushed him away, not because he had done anything wrong. Maybe deep down, she still loved him, and this was her way of trying to reconcile with him.
“I lo—you’re welcome, Bridget. You know I’m always here to help.” He didn’t want to be needy. She had asked for his help. That meant she wanted him to be the strong one and to support her. She had to be the one to set the emotional tone. He’d follow her lead.
“Talk to you later,” Bridget’s voice was stronger for a moment, and then she was gone, the connection terminated. Zachary’s phone decided to start playing his music and he hit the button on the stereo to stop it, not wanting to be distracted by the noise.
For the moment, he just wanted to bask in the knowledge that she needed him. Bridget needed him and appreciated him. Maybe there was a chance for them after all.
Dr. West didn’t keep Zachary waiting for too long. Zachary sat in the waiting area tapping rando
mly through his phone, reviewing the notes he had made and questions he should ask. There weren’t a lot of coughing children in Dr. West’s waiting room, like there were when he went to the walk-in medical clinic for one ailment or another. Instead, it was mostly older women and couples, sitting quietly with magazines or whispering with each other.
He was escorted into Dr. West’s office by a receptionist in a flowered nurse’s smock. Zachary had been half-expecting to be led to a typical exam room, but of course Dr. West actually had a real office where he got paperwork done and had meetings or made phone calls. It was similar to doctors’ offices Zachary had seen on TV; a wall of bookcases filled with thick volumes, a heavy wooden desk, a couple of chairs for visitors to sit in. There was a thin computer monitor on the corner of the desk, and the surface of the desk was covered with various piles and files of paper. There was more to being a doctor like Dr. West than just seeing patients.
“So, Mr. Goldman.” Dr. West looked down at a file open on the desk in front of him. Robin’s file? Had he been reviewing it before Zachary arrived or was it just an unrelated file and he found it easier to look at something else than to have to look Zachary in the face?
“Zachary.”
“Zachary.” Dr. West gave a nod. “What can I help you with? Like I said before, there is the matter of privilege to be considered.”
“I’m just curious about Robin’s last days here. From what Bridget said, Robin seemed to be doing quite well. Bridget is normally a pretty good judge of other people. She was shocked that Robin went so quickly.”
She was Dying Anyway Page 4