Mechanical Semantics
None among us would be in favor of taking off with broken engines or flaps. But is that usually what they're talking about when they tell us our flight has been grounded because of mechanical trouble? Often it's not. It seems carriers have begun adopting a very generous definition of "mechanical" trouble. When an apologetic flight attendant gets on the PA system and announces that you're stuck because the aircraft is "experiencing mechanical problems," it might be that it's an aircraft other than yours that's, in fact, having trouble. Or the problem might not be the kind that you would think would ground a plane—a clogged toilet, perhaps, or a button that's not illuminating. Airline insiders say carriers have canceled flights for everything from a broken coffeemaker to wet glue under the windshield to rather vague (read nonexistent) "engine irregularities." They call it mechanical trouble, but that’s not exactly what it is. Well then, what is it? It could be a couple of things. According to Paul Hudson, executive director of the Aviation Consumer Action Project, a nonprofit consumer advocacy group based in Washington, D.C., "there's an interest in exaggerating mechanical delays, because they're excluded from on-time performance statistics kept by the FAA." So if a plane is running late, just call it a mechanical delay and it won't go on the airline's record. Heck, cancel the flight—it won't matter. It’s all about the numbers!
Convenient Excuse
Airlines routinely cancel under booked flights for "mechanical" reasons and send travelers out on a later flight. What the airline won't tell you is that your plane works just fine. It's another aircraft—perhaps one that's got more passengers on it—that's broken. Yes, it’s a joke, we were telling passengers that the flight is canceled because of a mechanical problem, but what we really should have been saying is that their plane is needed elsewhere. If you're still a skeptic, I invite you to check out the "departures" screen on your next layover in Denver or Atlanta. Try this on a day when the weather is quiet and there are few passengers in the terminal. Saturdays and Sundays are best. Now count the number of cancellations and ask yourself: what are the odds of that many flights succumbing to mechanical trouble at the same time? On a layover in Dallas on a typical week, with the weather clear as a bell, you’ll see a whole column of cancellations. Unless there's a saboteur at work at DFW, I figured this was prime example of airline cancellation greed.
Worst Offenders
Which airlines have a lot of dubious cancellations? Charters are the worst, mostly because they only operate a limited number of aircraft. For them, a "mechanical" problem can be something as insignificant as a stopped-up toilet. Not every airline pulls this stuff. Last year, after one of its flights from New York to London broke down, British Airways offered to re-book the stranded passengers. Only one traveler, who happened to be related to a flight attendant, refused to go. He wasn't in any hurry, he said, and would gladly take the flight once it was fixed. He ended up being the lone passenger on the Boeing 747. "It was a little embarrassing, to be honest, having only one passenger on that flight," says British Airways spokeswoman Margie Vodopia. Her carrier's rule is simple. It operates the flights whether they're overbooked or under booked. I like that policy.
Things you probably didn’t know about your seat
I never thought I’d see so many crazy things while working at the airport. I never knew how things worked That is, until I worked there about a month. We were constantly hiding things from passengers, or at least that’s how it seemed.
Here’s an example of something the ticket agent commonly hides from passengers : One passenger came up to the ticket counter with his wife and two children. He had a ticket, which was a confirmed ticket, and which he had paid for. But, what his travel agent hadn’t set up were his seats. When I checked him in, and his children, the computer said “added passenger to the standby list.” So, I stared at the screen confused. I had only been working there less than a month, so I thought I had done something wrong. I asked the person in charge of training what happened, and he said, “oh, don’t worry, just send them to the gate. Tell them they’ll get their seats there.” So, that’s exactly what I did. But, when the passengers left, I questioned what had happened. Here’s how my trainer explained it to me.
All airlines overbook their flights. So, if you don’t book your seat (reserve the seat) when you make your reservations, you aren’t confirmed on that flight. When the customer went to the gate with his family, he waited for the gate agent to give him seats that didn’t exist. The flight was overbooked by 50 passengers, and unfortunately the only seat he and his family had was going to be in the airport; they weren’t really going anywhere. But, the ticket agent isn’t allowed to disclose how overbooked the flight is. What the agents are told to do during training is basically lie to the passengers. When there aren’t enough seats, just lie, and send them to the gate, letting them know that the seat will be assigned at the gate. Some of you may be thinking, well, it’s not exactly a lie, but when the flight is overbooked by 50, and you’ve been checked in and added to the standby list as the 20th or 30th person on the list, there is a very little chance that person will be on that flight. So, here’s an important tip: when you make a reservation, make sure you reserve your seats, and make sure they are reserved together. Otherwise, you may not get a seat, because airlines give standby seats to their frequent travelers first. Something the passenger doesn’t know is that there are certain seats (like the front row seats of coach class) that are reserved for frequent travelers. The agents will tell you that those seats are taken, but instead, those are not taken, they are reserved for people who have spent plenty of money traveling with the airline.
Passenger Profiling on International Flights
Ok, so we touched on this earlier, but let’s go through it again, in more detail. What are the check-in ticket agents told to do if someone comes up and hands them a passport and they look suspicious. Well, the airline cannot, by law, keep someone from boarding a plane, even if they look suspicious. But, what are the agents allowed to do? Well, there is something called a PPBM tag that the agents are advised to put on the passengers bag. The tag, “positive passenger bag match,” is used to make sure the passenger is on the same plane as his bags. Here’s how it works. The suspicious passenger, let’s call him Mr. Profiled, checks in, and the agent just thinks he looks suspicious. This isn’t written anywhere in the training manual, but this is what the trainers will tell you to do. The ticket agent is instructed to place a PPBM tag on the passenger’s bag. On the tag, a number is written, known as the sequence number. This number is also written on the passenger’s boarding pass. When the passenger goes to the Gate, this bag tag makes sure the suspicious passenger gets on the plane. If the passenger just checks in but misses the flight, the bags he checked in with the PPBM tag are removed from the plane. The idea behind these PPBM tags is that terrorists theoretically will check in bags and then won’t get on the aircraft, because they’ve checked in a bag with a bomb (suicide bombers aside). Next time you check in for a flight (for an international destination), check to see if your tag says PPBM or has an extra tag (usually very bright in color) with a sequence number. The tag can mean one of two things—either the computer randomly chose you to have a PPBM tag, or you looked suspicious to the agent that was checking you in.
Joking about the FAA security questions
Well, if you have ever traveled, or will ever travel, you will have heard or will hear the FAA security Questions. The two questions are as follows: “Has anyone unknown to you asked you to carry anything aboard the aircraft?” and “Have any of the items you are traveling with today been out of your control since the time you packed them?” They may not be asked in this exact manner, but the questions should always be asked by the agent before they check you in. Well, here are a few things you should know about those security questions. First of all, everyone traveling is supposed to answer them. However, most of the time, when someone is checking in their entire family, they will give the agent a
ll the tickets, and all the passports at once, and everyone will be doing something random around the check-in counter, like checking their cell phones, talking on the phones, texting, etc. So, obviously, the question does not get asked to everyone who boards the aircraft. Many people wonder, does anyone answer the questions wrong? Does anyone say, “Yes, the bags were out of my possession.” Well, the answer is yes. It doesn’t happen very often, but it does happen. Some people will say, “Yes, the bags were out of my control, they were in the hotel room with some people we didn’t know.” Well, here’s what happens if the questions are answered incorrectly. The agent has to call security, and someone usually comes within 15 minutes. The security agent takes the bags, and the passengers to the security checkpoint. The bags are open, put through several security and x-ray machines under the supervision of the security supervisor, and fully checked for any explosives. Most of the time, if the passenger answers incorrectly to the security questions, they end up missing their flight, because of the length of time it takes to have their bags checked. Something that’s worth mentioning here is that there should be no joking when answering the security questions. Many people tend to think the questions are annoying or even funny, and when they are asked the questions, they will laugh and make jokes. This is strongly discouraged. Joking about the FAA security questions is a felony, and doing so could lead to your arrest. Some people will joke, “oh yes, there’s a bomb in my bag.” Answering in this way is illegal, and you could be punished for it to the fullest extent of the law. Depending on the agent you find, they could immediately call security or the local police and have you arrested. Another thing you should be sure not to joke about it threatening to kill an agent or blow up the airport. This may sound kind of absurd at first, but you’d be surprised how often it happens. I have been threatened many times from passengers who came to the airport late, and could not make the flight. Also, people who had missed their flight would threaten that if they weren’t on the flight that was taking off, they would blow up the airport. Instances like that are sure to be reported as soon as they occur.
So you want to sit in First Class
I think one of the most common questions I got as a ticket agent was, “Do you have first class on this flight?” And of course, the people who want first class are those that have usually purchased the cheapest fare. Those that have paid close to nothing for their ticket want to sit in the best seat for free. Well, here are some things you probably don’t know about first class. Every airline uses buckets, or classes of service. These buckets are in the form of letters. Each letter designates a bucket of service, and there are a limited number of seats in each bucket. Here are a few examples of various buckets — “A” class of service – the highest fare (full fare) first class ticket, or “Y” class of service – the highest fare (full fare) coach class ticket.
Other buckets of service include seats reserved for those that can be upgraded to first class with their airline frequent flyer miles, people who want to pay for upgrades to first class, or those who have reached an elite status with the airline because of very frequent travel.
So how does one get “bumped” to first class? The first tip I have to give here is to be nice to the ticket agent. Your fate is pretty much in their hands. If you are rude to them, your chances of getting upgraded are minimal. Also, you should always keep in mind that the agent can deny you boarding if you say something you shouldn’t. It is an agent’s discretion whether or not they allow you to board the plane. It doesn’t matter that you purchased the ticket; the agent could decide not to let you on the plane. And I can assure you that if you say something inappropriate enough, and the agent locks your reservation, and denies you boarding, you can be sure that you will not be on a plane that day.
Though it’s hard to believe, planes do and will take off with empty first class seats. This is because some passengers don’t ask to sit in first class because they either fear rejection or they are embarrassed. Always ask kindly if there are any seats in first class and if you can be upgraded as a courtesy. Avoid making jokes or saying things like “I deserve to sit in first class because the flight on the way here was terrible.” If you find an agent that doesn’t give you first class, you have other options. Don’t stop there. The best way to get into first class is if you ask a flight attendant, but clearly this can only be done once you’ve boarded the aircraft.
Most of the time, when passengers do not get into first class because of unwilling ticket agents, or busy gate agents, they will find that they’re able to sit in first class if they politely ask a flight attendant. First of all, don’t bother waiting until everyone sits down to ask them. As soon as you step into the plane, ask if there are any open seats in First Class and ask if it would be possible to sit there after the plane has taken off. Always say that you’d like to sit there after the plane has taken off. The reason for this is simple, but most people don’t see it. The flight attendants, although they appear to just be standing at the aircraft door greeting you, are really doing other things behind the scenes. Every flight needs to be sequenced. So, the flight attendant must make sure that everyone that is supposed to be on the plane is sitting on the plane, and is in their correct seats. So, by telling them that you are willing to sit in first class after the plane has taken off, gives them the opportunity to say yes more willingly. The flight attendant will ask what seat you are in, and you will tell them so they can come get you after the plane has taken off. Of course you will occasionally find a flight attendant that won’t be so easy. So, that’s when you have to use some tricks. To achieve a high level of customer service, the airline is likely to do much more for a dissatisfied customer to keep the customer from spreading bad gossip about the airline to others. If you were dissatisfied with something, try to tell someone in a nice way. Ask if it is possible to sit in First Class to alleviate the bad feeling you’ve gotten from other employees of the airline, and you’d be surprised what the airline will do to make you, the paying customer, happy. Other things you may want to try is telling the agent or the flight attendant that it is your first time flying, or that you are feeling ill if you’ve waited too long and the plane has taken off. Yes, you’re telling a little lie, but it seems to work well.
Volunteering for Overbooked Flights
Ok, like I mentioned earlier, all airlines are allowed by law to overbook their flights. This is because gasoline for planes costs a lot of money, so the airlines want to make sure the flight goes out as full as possible every time. The airlines actually have people that monitor how many people fly on every flight on each day of the week, and use this data to determine how overbooked the flights should be. Most people wonder what happens when everyone who is booked for the flight shows up. Well, that’s when there’s a problem. Let’s go through the steps again. At first the airlines begin to ask passengers if they will voluntarily stay off the flight for no compensation, or little compensation, usually it is very little initially. If nobody volunteers, then the agents are told to increase the amount of compensation, or offer the passenger say, first class, on the very next flight, (that could be taking off less than an hour from the overbooked flight). This is the chance for you to bargain. Airlines do not want to tell passengers that they cannot fly because the flight is overbooked. So, they will usually give you what you ask for, within reasonable limits. I have seen plenty of overbooked flight compensations go from $150 to $500 within a few minutes and little bargaining.
Remember, once the airlines have reached their maximum compensation, they will begin to involuntarily bump passengers. This means that passengers who have seats will be told that there isn’t enough room on the plane, and they will have to go on the next flight available. And these are the people that will ultimately receive the highest allowable compensation. The airline knows that these people will be upset because they have a confirmed ticket and they were told they were going somewhere, but instead, they are being told that they won’t be able to board the plane. This is whe
n most of the altercations occur between passengers and airline employees. There are actually people that airline trains you about—they call them “professional volunteers.” These professional volunteers will go to the airport with the sole purpose of getting compensation because they study flights and know which flights are full and which will give them the best chances of getting a travel certificate for compensation. They will then sell their travel certificate for profit.
Finding out what flights are overbooked
Well there are many ways to find out which flights are overbooked. You could call the airline’s toll free number and ask them, but they won’t tell you every time. You may find out that if you call a few times, different agents will give you different information. A good way to find out is to call the airline’s toll free number and tell them you are an employee, and you are planning on flying standby, and would like to know if it is possible for you to make the flight.
The agent may ask you where you are stationed, but they won’t ask you too much info, so you need not worry about telling this white lie. Since employees fly standby, they call the airlines’ toll free number all the time, and ask, “How does the flight look?” so the agent on the phone can verify that there are enough seats open. So, if the agent tells you that there are plenty of seats open, you can be sure that you will get on the flight. If they tell you that there isn’t a good chance you’ll make the flight, then you could ask, well how overbooked is it. Even if they don’t give you an exact number, they will hint at how oversold the flight is. Sometimes, they’ll say this flight looks like it’s going to be a nightmare to compensate for, or they’ll say something like “it looks like there’s an overbook of 40 pax”
Fired Airline Ticket Agent Reveals Airline Secrets Page 4