by Amy Clipston
She hopped down from the truck and went around to his side. “Is your mamm home?”
“She should be.” He retrieved the grocery bags from the toolbox. “Let’s see.”
He followed her up the porch steps and into the house. When they stepped into the kitchen from the mudroom, they found his mother standing at the counter, flipping through a cookbook.
“Hi, Saloma!” Clara rushed over and gave her a hug.
Jerry grinned as he set the grocery bags on the table. Clara had never been shy with her affection.
“Clara!” Mamm exclaimed. “What a nice surprise.” She turned to Jerry, her eyebrows lifted. “I didn’t expect you to bring Clara home with the groceries.”
Clara chuckled. “We ran into each other at the market, and he offered to give me a ride to Emma’s haus.”
“Isn’t that nice.” Mamm’s expression seemed to hold something other than mirth, giving him pause. What was she planning?
Clara moved to the table and began opening the bags. “Why don’t I help you put your groceries away?”
“Oh no.” Mamm waved off the offer. “You can get on to Emma’s haus. I think Biena is ready to go too. She just went upstairs to get something.”
“I’ll get her.” Jerry went to the hallway and stood at the bottom of the stairs. “Beanie! Are you ready to go to Emma’s?”
“I’ve told you not to call me that!” Biena growled from the second floor.
Jerry snickered as he leaned on the banister.
“Are you still teasing her?” Clara appeared in the kitchen doorway.
“Isn’t that my job as her big bruder?”
“No, it’s not!” Biena snapped as she started down the stairs. “He should respect his younger schweschder.”
“You know I love you.” He smirked at Biena, and she rolled her eyes. “Hey, I came by to pick you up, didn’t I?”
“You had to come anyway since you picked up Mamm’s groceries.” Biena reached the bottom stair and smiled at Clara. “Clara. I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Your bruder found me at the market and dragged me here.” Clara bumped his shoulder, and he enjoyed the easy teasing.
“Yup. I threw her into the truck as she kicked and screamed.” He motioned toward the back of the house. “We should go.”
He followed the women into the kitchen, where Biena hugged Mamm.
“I’ll be back for supper,” Biena said.
“Have fun.” Mamm waved at Clara. “It was nice seeing you.”
“You too.” Clara waved back. “I’ll see you at church.” As she left the kitchen with Biena, Jerry started to follow.
“Jerry,” Mamm said, and he spun to face her. “It’s gut seeing you with Clara again. It’s been a long time since you two used to spend time together. I’m froh you’ve reconnected because of Emma’s garden.”
So she wasn’t just happy to see Clara. She was thrilled to see him with Clara.
Jerry couldn’t keep his lips from pressing into a flat line. His mother hadn’t brought up his lack of commitment to the Amish church for a very long time, yet he could tell the familiar lecture was forming in her mind.
“You and Clara were always such gut freinden, and you can’t deny that you care about her. Obviously, she hasn’t married, and I don’t remember hearing that she’s ever dated anyone for long. If you came back to the church, maybe that friendship could turn into something more.” Mamm’s bright-blue eyes glittered with hope.
He swallowed back the frustrated words that threatened to jump from his lips. His parents would never understand why he didn’t feel the same connection to the church they did, that he’d never felt God calling him to join the church. And he didn’t want their lectures to start again. They just added to the guilt he already felt.
But yelling at his sweet mother would be a sin, and he would never want to hurt her. Instead, he took a deep breath.
“Mamm.” He held up his hand. “Please don’t get your hopes up. I’m just giving Clara and Biena a ride to Emma’s haus. There’s no romance here. Now, I need to get going. We’ll talk later, okay?”
She nodded and sniffed. Was she going to cry? Oh, he could never stand to see her cry. The idea made his heart fracture a little.
He was such a disappointment to his parents, but he couldn’t force himself to be someone he wasn’t.
He forced his lips into a smile. “I’ll see you later, Mamm.”
Before she could respond, he hurried out the back door. Biena and Clara sat on the bench seat in his truck. When he saw his sister was sitting in the middle, disappointment curled through him. He’d hoped Clara would sit next to him.
Stop it! She’s Amish, so don’t waste your time thinking about her!
“Ready?” He climbed into the driver’s seat and brought the rattling engine to life.
“We’ve been ready,” Biena snapped. “You’re the one who took forever to get out here.”
Clara snickered beside her.
“Right.” He steered the truck down the driveway to the main road.
“I was thinking we should work on the last of the strawberries this afternoon,” Biena said as they drove down the road. “Rosalyn told me they’re all ripe now, so we need to get them to the stand as soon as possible.”
“That’s a gut plan.” Clara looked out the front window.
Biena continued. “I hope we have enough of those little plastic baskets.”
His sister’s discussion about strawberries served only as background noise as he drove to Emma’s house. Considering his mother’s words, he couldn’t wipe the image of her hopeful face out of his mind. But no, he wasn’t ready to give up his Englisher life yet. He might never be ready, not even for a beautiful woman like Clara. Besides, was being attracted to her a good reason to join the church?
His heart raced as he contemplated asking Clara on a date. They’d never discussed being more than friends, so how could he even assume she’d be interested in him that way, even if he were Amish? The thought haunted him as he halted the truck by Emma’s barn.
“Hello!” Biena slapped his shoulder. “Are you even listening to me, Jerry?”
“What?” He put the truck in park and turned toward his sister.
She harrumphed as she folded her arms at her waist. “I asked you when you’re going to pick me up.”
“Oh.” Jerry sighed. “What time do you want me to pick you up?”
They settled on a time, and then the women climbed out of the truck.
Biena left, but Clara walked around to the driver’s side door and looked up at him. “You don’t want to stay and help, huh?”
He looked toward the sectioned-off areas of the garden, where groups of young people worked, and he shook his head. “I’d be a liar if I said I enjoyed gardening.”
“You could fix Emma’s leaky kitchen sink along with her toilet that never stops running.”
He looked down at her as she tilted her head and gave him a look of feigned disappointment.
“You don’t want to help an older freind in need?” she asked.
“You’re really gut at guilting people, aren’t you?”
“The best.” Her gorgeous grin was back.
“Fine.” He blew out a sarcastic sigh.
“Yay.” She clapped and took a step back as he climbed out of the truck.
“You always win.” He shut the truck door.
She shrugged. “I do my best.” Then she started toward the house with her grocery bag in hand. She swiveled toward him and waved. “I’ll see you later.”
CHAPTER 3
Thank you for your purchase.” Clara smiled at the two Englisher customers.
After handing the women their change, Clara loaded their strawberries and cookies into plastic bags. “Enjoy the rest of your day.” She waved as they climbed into their car and drove off.
Clara turned to Katie Ann. “I can’t believe how many pints of strawberries we’ve sold.” After helping pick and clean strawber
ries for more than an hour, Clara had taken a turn at the stand.
“I know.” Katie Ann rubbed Hank’s chin as he sat on a stool beside her. “It’s been busy. We’ve raised a lot more money for the Bird-in-Hand Shelter today.”
“Ya, we have.” Clara leaned on the counter in front of her and smiled. It was a perfect day—the sun was shining, she was working at Emma’s house, and she’d managed to convince Jerry to help too. She stood up straight as the last thought echoed through her mind. How was she going to convince him to do something far more important—join the church?
“Hi.” Biena approached them. “I was sent to relieve one of you.”
“Oh.” Katie Ann looked at Clara. “Would it be okay if I went? I haven’t been able to talk to Chris all day.”
“Sure.” Clara gestured toward the barn. “Tell him hi for me.”
“Danki.” Katie Ann rushed off, as if fearing Clara might change her mind.
Biena hopped onto the stool beside Clara and caressed Hank’s ear. His purr grew louder as he tilted his head and closed his eyes. “You really have a gift with mei bruder.”
“What do you mean?” Clara blinked, stunned by the comment.
“This morning when I asked Jerry to drop me off here, I also asked him if he would stay and help. He had every excuse in the book. He even said he was going back to our onkel’s haus to clean his room.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve never seen his room messy. He’s always kept it neat and tidy.”
She shifted her hand to Hank’s other ear. “I was surprised when I went into Emma’s kitchen and found him there working on the sink. He said you asked him to fix both the sink and the toilet, and that did the trick. You definitely know how to get him to do what you want.”
“It’s no big deal. I just guilted him into using his skills to help Emma.” Clara tried to dismiss the comment as she sat down on the stool beside Biena.
“I think it’s more than that.” Biena smiled at her. “You and Jerry were always gut freinden. I’m not surprised he stayed when you asked.”
“Right.” Clara’s cheeks burned as she looked toward the road. She needed to change the subject before Biena saw right through her confusing emotions.
The truth was she hadn’t stopped thinking about Jerry since he first dropped Biena off at Emma’s house. And she was overcome with excitement when she’d turned around in the market and found him watching her. She was even more thrilled when he offered to drive her to Emma’s house.
When she turned nineteen, and had lost hope that Jerry was ever coming back to the church, she assumed she’d find an Amish man, fall in love, and eventually get married. But none of the young men who asked her to date them had warmed her heart. Her limited relationships had each lasted barely a month. But her heart had awakened since she’d reconnected with Jerry, and the realization scared her to the depth of her soul. How could she allow herself to be attracted to a man who wasn’t Amish—and might never be? She couldn’t bear to think of the hurt it would cause her family.
A car stopped in front of the stand, and she swallowed a sigh of relief. She needed the distraction from her thoughts of Jerry.
A tall woman clad in shorts and a pink T-shirt climbed out of the driver’s seat. “I heard you’re selling the best strawberries in all of Lancaster County.”
“Yes, ma’am! We sure are!” Biena exclaimed.
The woman pulled a wallet from her purse. “I’d like to buy them all.”
“All of them?” Clara asked.
“Yes. I’m planning a big party, and I want to make some strawberry shortcakes.” The woman leaned on the counter. “How many containers do you have?”
Clara looked down on the shelves and counted. “Ten pints,” she said.
“Great.” As the woman began to glance around the shelves, Clara and Biena looked at each other, wide-eyed. “I’ll also take ten trays of your cookies. A variety is fine. How much for all of that?”
Clara calculated the price, and the woman paid before Clara and Biena helped load all the items into her car.
“I’ll go up to the haus for more strawberries,” Clara said after the woman left. “We also need more kichlin. We’re completely out of chocolate chip and macadamia.”
“Okay.” Biena pointed to Hank, who was happily napping on the third stool. “Hank and I will handle business while you’re gone.”
Clara laughed as she started up the driveway. She waved at friends working in the garden before entering the house. When she stepped into the kitchen, she found Emma, Mandy, and Katie Ann washing cucumbers. Baskets of vegetables and fruits lined the kitchen table.
“We’re out of strawberries and chocolate chip and macadamia kichlin,” Clara announced.
“I’ll have to make more kichlin in the morning,” Mandy said. “It’s too hot to turn on the oven now.”
“And we’re out of baskets for the strawberries,” Katie Ann said. “We can’t sell more until we get some.”
“I’ll take you to the store.”
Clara turned to see Jerry standing in the doorway to the mudroom. He seemed larger than life with his wide shoulders and tall stature, and his dark-blue T-shirt accentuated his bright, intelligent eyes. She swallowed against her suddenly bone-dry throat.
Stop it! He’s not for you! Not unless he joins the church.
“Aren’t you busy?” Clara did her best to add an edge of annoyance in her voice to hide her surging attraction to him.
“I need to get a rebuild kit for the toilet.” He pointed in the direction of the downstairs bathroom. “We can stop at whatever store you need.”
“Let me give you some money.” Emma started walking toward the family room.
“No, no.” Jerry shook his head and held up his hand. “I can get it.”
“Don’t be gegisch.” Emma rested her hands on her hips. “I don’t expect you to pay for the parts to fix my toilet.”
“It’s only a few dollars. I can cover it, Emma.” His voice was gentle but firm.
Emma folded her arms over her chest. “You buwe are so stubborn. I’ll find another way to pay you. What’s your favorite kind of kichli?”
“I’ve never met a kichli I didn’t like.”
As Jerry grinned, Clara’s admiration for him swelled. He didn’t want to come to Emma’s, but now he was paying for the supplies to fix her plumbing. He was such a good man.
“Let’s go.” Jerry held up his keys and jingled them, as if to signal to Clara that he was ready. Then he turned back to Emma. “We’ll be back soon.”
“Danki.”
Clara walked beside him to his truck and then climbed into the passenger seat and buckled her seat belt.
“I thought we’d go to the hardware store first.” He turned the key and the engine roared to life.
“Okay.” She folded her hands in her lap as he drove out to the road. “Did you fix the kitchen sink?”
“Yeah.” He kept his eyes focused on the traffic ahead. “It wasn’t difficult. The toilet will be fixed soon.”
“That was nice of you to insist on paying for the parts.”
He shrugged as he gave her a sideways glance. “It’s not much at all.” He turned back to the road.
“Still, it’s nice.” She paused and studied him, taking in his handsome profile as questions danced through her mind. “Jerry, why did you stop coming to church and youth group?”
Something unreadable flashed over his features, but then it disappeared. “It’s difficult to explain.”
“I’m listening.” She leaned toward him, and he laughed. “What’s so funny?”
He nodded at her. “You’ve never been subtle.”
She gaped at him, and he laughed again.
“You can trust me,” she said.
“I know that.”
The compliment sent warmth swirling through her chest. “If you know you can trust me, then tell me.”
He drove in silence for several moments, his eyes trained on the road once again. She held her brea
th, hoping he’d finally open up to her.
When he drove into the parking lot at the hardware store, her shoulders wilted. They were at their destination, and she’d missed her chance for a real conversation with him. She unbuckled her seat belt and began wrestling with the heavy door.
“Wait.” He touched her shoulder, but then he pulled back his hand as if her sleeve had bit him. “I want to answer your question.”
“Okay.” She angled her body toward him.
He looked down at his lap as if gathering his thoughts. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never felt God calling me to join the church.” He peeked up at her.
She scooted closer to him. “But you were an active member of our youth group, and you always seemed attentive in church. Why would you suddenly turn your back on our culture and beliefs?”
“That’s not what I mean.” He turned toward her and leaned back on the door. “While everyone else was looking forward to making a commitment to the Amish community, I felt awkward. I always thought I would feel God calling me to be baptized, but I never have.”
She tried to digest his words, but she just couldn’t understand them. “God loves you. He loves all of us, and we’re all called to be his baptized disciples.”
“Forget it.” He pushed his door open. “Let’s buy our supplies and get back to Emma’s haus.”
Disappointment filled Clara as they walked toward the hardware store. She longed to encourage Jerry to open his heart to her, but she feared pushing him away with too many questions. Inside, she kept the conversation light, asking him only about his purchases.
After he’d gathered the supplies and paid for them, they climbed back into his truck and headed to the bulk food store.
“So what do we need here again?” he asked as she led him down an aisle.
“Containers for strawberries and trays for kichlin.” She found the containers and began to fill their shopping cart.
“Let me help you.” He reached for the stack of containers in her hands.
When their fingers brushed, heat zipped up her arm, and her pulse skittered at the contact. She bit back a gasp as she released the containers. Her cheeks burned, and she turned back toward the shelf, hoping to hide her reaction to his touch.