Nick nodded. “Of course. Your secret is safe with me.” He began to hum the song again. “Belle is going to love this.”
Sirius groaned, but there was nothing he could do about Belle meeting Pia. If Pia were to become a part of his life, which was possible, then she would meet Belle.
But that was something to consider another day.
∫ ∫ ∫
1 1
* * *
Pia looked out of the window of the carriage and waved to Babbette, whose hands moved wildly to get her attention from the drawing room window.
She’d only known them for a day, but she’d miss them. As Sirius had warned, the girls enjoyed asking questions. After confessing that she didn’t know how to play music, Adalina had taken it upon herself to teach Pia the pianoforte. When Pia had shown how truly disastrous her skills were, Adalina had resigned and decided she’d rather entertain her.
One song, in particular, had been like one she’d never heard before.
Down Here was what Adalina had called it, but she warned that everyone else knew who knew the tune called it something else. She’d said the composer was her father. Apparently, he’d written it long before Adalina’s birth and as Pia had listened to the words, she’d wondered if they’d been about his heiress.
Hair as endless as sweet summer suns
Eyes the color of catnips, I kiss one by one
Like an angel, Mia whisper in my ear
For the air is much sweeter down here
Can I tempt you to come down to me
Weep at my pain and I will be free
Like an angel, Mia whisper in my ear
For the air is much sweeter down here
Adalina had played her the entire ballad and Pia thought she’d never heard a more romantic song. It was a ballad, nearly a lullaby. The writer had clearly been in grief, begging for his Mia.
Pia could only imagine. She thought of a woman with blue eyes and pale skin. She wondered if Sirius had loved her. Clearly, he had. He’d made the most beautiful song for her.
Adalina mouthed something through the window and Pia read her lips. Hurry back.
Pia’s heart soared, and she thought she might be in love with Sirius’ daughters.
She laughed as Sirius got into the carriage. “Adalina looked sad at the thought of you leaving. They truly wished to come.”
“They wish for many things. I’ve taken them to Liverpool many times before, but it is my duty to see that they are not spoiled… as Tobias and I were.”
Pia leaned back on the banquette. “I find it impressive how well you’re able to analyze your past and see the wrongs.”
He smiled. “It is something all men should endeavor to do.” He was wearing all black, just as he had the other day. Cravat, shirt, coat, breeches, and boots represented mourning. It was a sign of respect and even weakness that came when one loved another, yet there was nothing weak about the man who sat across from her. The black in combination with his slicked-back hair made him baleful, more like an undertaker than a mourner.
She couldn’t help but think that if he were taking people to their deaths, just how many women would not hesitate to accept their fate.
Pia sighed and placed her hands on her knees. “We all make mistakes. Women as well.”
“You made mistakes in the past?” He lifted a mocking brow. “Do tell.”
She laughed. Dinner last evening had been lovely, though she hadn’t managed to get any more out of Lord Nicholas about just what it was Sirius had said about her. She was anxious to know and planned to ask whenever the occasion presented itself.
She thought over her the mishaps of her life. “I didn’t make certain that Adam was all right before I left him at the tree.”
He sobered. “You said your father took you away. What more could you have done?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Fight him. Try and climb out of my window when I was certain the servants were asleep.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Adam would never have wanted you to risk your life that way.”
“How you do know?” she asked, slightly offended that Sirius thought he could speak for the brother he’d ridiculed. “You didn’t know him.”
“I did,” Sirius said. “We… began to speak before he died. Through letters.”
Pia’s eyes flashed. “You did? I thought you said nothing had changed until after his death.”
Sirius cleared his throat. “That’s true. I didn’t love my brother, but that didn’t mean we didn’t speak. We still had the same father after all.”
“But I was told that you left your family after marrying your heiress. I was told you cut all ties with your family and that they were angry with you because…” Because he hadn’t kept his contract and married her.
She still didn’t understand why he had yet to bring it up, even to say that she was not obligated to keep her promise.
Sirius frowned. “I didn’t speak to my father or Tobias, but I kept in contact with Adam.”
“Why?”
He shifted in his seat. His expression was pensive. “Because… he was good, and I wanted to be more like him.”
Pia didn’t believe him but also didn’t understand why he would lie.
“What is your business in Liverpool?” he asked to change the topic.
“I have a delivery to make for my aunt. She owns a pottery shop in London.”
He looked around the carriage and then at her. “What exactly are you delivering?”
She smiled. “Two porcelain turtledoves. They’re quite adorable.”
“Why are you delivering packages?” He scrunched up his nose. “Does she not have workers for that sort of thing?”
“I work for her.”
His face fell. “You work?”
She nodded. “I do.”
“But your husband was not impoverished when he died.”
Her heart skipped. “How do you know that?”
“I looked into him.”
Her head was spinning. “When? You only found out about him yesterday.” And even still, how could Sirius have possibly known about her husband’s finances?”
“Pia, I ran the bank he kept his money in. I found him in my ledgers. Why are you working? Didn’t he leave you his wealth?”
She wrapped her arms around her. “He left me nothing.”
“Why?”
“Because he didn’t. Why are you going to Liverpool?” She didn’t want to talk about that.
Sirius, however, did not lend her the same courtesy to change the topic. “It’s because you never had children, isn’t it?”
She closed her eyes. “Please, I don’t wish to talk about this.”
“The fool.”
Pia opened her eyes at the anger in Sirius’ tone.
“You were still his responsibility. There is no reason he should have left you as he did.”
She swallowed and said nothing. She didn’t want to talk about it further. She didn’t want to talk about her failures.
Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Did you love him?”
Why was her relationship with her husband so important to him? “It is not polite to pursue a conversation that your partner wishes to end.”
“I never claimed to be polite.”
She supposed that was true. As she met his eyes, she saw rudeness in them, the way they seemed to dig deep inside of her and search for her secrets.
“That must make getting along with women very difficult for you.”
“I get along with them just fine.”
That gave Pia pause. Was there a woman, in particular, he was speaking of? “I would rather not answer your question.”
“If you’d rather not answer then the answer is no. You didn’t love him, which is good since he didn’t deserve it.”
She made no further comment, anxious to leave the subject of her marriage alone. “Do you still have the letters you and Adam exchanged?” If he could make her uncomfortable, she could do the same.
/> “No.”
She was not surprised. She was certain Sirius hadn’t known Adam at all.
He must have seen her thoughts on his face. He sighed deeply. “He said there was a place in Lady Melody’s home where when you stood just so you became awash in light. He said anytime you stood there, you’d glow like a million stars and how very much he was drawn to your light.”
Pia stopped breathing.
Sirius smiled at her. “He said he’d take you in his arms and you’d dance to music only the two of you could hear. He enjoyed listening to your laughter as he spun you around the room.”
Pia covered her face as the tears threatened to fall again.
“He said you weighed more than what met the eye.”
Pia looked up and gasped. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she giggled. “He did not say that.”
Sirius laughed and leaned forward. “He did. He said he never understood how such a slight woman could nearly break his back on a lift.”
“Oh, you liar.” She smacked his arm. Then, realizing what she’d done, her smile dissolved. It was something she’d have done to Adam a long time ago.
Sirius looked down at his arm. Then his gaze returned to her, and his smile was brighter but sadder. “You’re right. I lied. He said you weighed little more than air and much like air, he could never truly keep you.”
“Oh.” Pia’s heart tugged. She remembered the last conversation she’d had with Adam. He’d thought her being the daughter of an earl meant they couldn’t be together, but Pia had never agreed.
She wanted to tell Sirius that. Staring at him, she could almost believe that her confessions would somehow reach the ears of Adam. As though he were an angel who could deliver such a message to the departed.
“Did you love him?” Sirius said. “Did you love Adam? More than a friend?”
She hesitated to answer. How would Sirius, the man who’d once been her fiancé, feel about her loving another man? How would he feel about her loving his half-brother?
But the truth was the truth. She’d never had the chance to say it to Adam. She could not pass up the chance again. “I loved him more than I loved myself.” She still loved him. She would likely never love again.
She began to lower her chin, but Sirius tucked a finger underneath and brought her gaze back to his.
“He felt the same.”
She closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. His hand cupped her cheek. She shook at his tenderness. She leaned into his touch. She never realized how much she’d lacked this in her life. Since their embrace yesterday, she’d yearned for nothing more.
She’d gone a decade without it. Her husband hadn’t touched her.
Sirius’ thumb brushed her lower lip—likely by accident—yet she shuddered anyway. Gooseflesh spread down her arms. She wanted more. A lingering thought said she might even want everything.
It was the wanting that made her pull away. Here she was, claiming to love another and willing to accept the comfort of a man she’d once despised.
When she finally opened her eyes, it was to find that Sirius’ had grown dark.
She wondered at that look and then decided it was best not to inquire. Searching for something to break the building tension, she said, “You never said what your business was in Liverpool.”
He grinned. “I didn’t, did I?”
∫ ∫ ∫
1 2
* * *
“It is better to give than to receive,” the man on the other side of the latticed screen said. Through the dark lacy woodwork that divided the oratory, Sirius could see nothing of the Collector who spoke to him, yet the speaker could see him.
The stalls were dark. A square with nothing more than a curtain for a door and bench for comfort. Ominous to some. Tranquil to others.
Unlike the confessionals that were placed inside of churches, the storehouse was a place of business. One did not come to the Collector in order to find salvation. They came to pay a debt and, on occasion, the Collector was allowed to extend loans, but that was always at the Collector’s discretion.
Any extended debts unpaid were put on the Collector’s shoulders.
A Collector was a master negotiator. He or she was the wisest person in the room. Their thoughts were driven by dividends and increases. They were paid well. They were trusted.
In the oratory, the Collector played the role of Van Dero, a small king to those in need. The Collector played judge to those who’d already met the duke and borrowed from him, leaving Van Dero to deal with new clients only.
Such nearly unlimited power could grow too great for a man. Too often it did.
Sirius leaned back in the booth and sighed. “Acts 20:35,” he said in reference to the Collector’s quote.
“You read the Bible, my lord?” Usually while in the booth, there were no lords. Titles and authority no longer existed for the men who humbly approached with their offerings to the Duke of Van Dero.
“Not as much as I should.” Sirius knew the quote because he’d once been a Collector himself. “Do you know why they made that verse the greeting of the Collectors?”
“To teach kindness?” the Collector asked.
Sirius chuckled. “No, it was to warn the man who was paying his debt to think before he made further requests of Van Dero. After all, no man can escape a debt due to the duke. The warning was likely the only kindness the duke ever truly offered. One should think twice before they borrowed against their life.”
“Why are we meeting this way, my lord? You owe no debt,” the Collector said. “You oversee the Collectors. I answer to you now, just as every man in my position and in this storehouse must. We could meet in the office.”
“But I thought you would like to negotiate,” Sirius said. “And this is the place of negotiations.”
“What would I be negotiating for?”
“Your life.”
The Collector went silent.
Sirius turned and stared at the lattice as though he were looking directly into the Collector’s eyes. He knew the man on the other side could see him, was likely looking right at him.
He could hear the Collector’s breathing had increased. He didn’t need to see the man to intimidate him. “Mr. Abram Moore. Five years ago, your original debt to Van Dero was for one thousand pounds. Over time, you’ve managed to pay a third. Impressive, but not as impressive as your last payment. You now owe the duke nothing.”
“That is correct.” Mr. Moore’s voice shook. “I owe the duke nothing.”
“It took you five years to pay a third of your debt and then, in another month, you paid the last quarter.”
“I’ve saved toward the debt.”
A lie. The information Porter had brought him yesterday told him otherwise.
“Money went missing from this storehouse and now you have the means to pay debts.”
Moore’s words began to tumble, one over the other. “I thought it best, considering the circumstances—”
“You will give me the names of the men who encouraged your betrayal. Then you shall give me something else. Perhaps, a tooth for every offense.” Their business was a bloody one.
The curtain on the other side drew back as Mr. Moore attempted to escape. He rushed down the corridor. There was a shout in the distance and then the pleading began as Mr. Moore was dragged back to the chamber by two of Sirius’ footmen.
“I have not betrayed the duke!” Mr. Moore’s voice shook “I swear it, my lord. I would never.”
Every man swore the same thing.
Sirius pushed back his own curtain and stepped out of the confessional. “Every lie that leaves your lips is another offense.” He produced a blade.
Mr. Moore began to weep, and Sirius saw that the man had wet himself.
Sirius was used to the stench, even more so to the smell of fear. He hunched down next to the man and said, “Would you like to know why we’re keeping you alive?”
Mr. Moore looked up. His every nerve trembled before
Sirius’ eyes.
“It’s because it would take too long to train another man for your position. Also, Van Dero believes in second chances. He’s a good man.”
Mr. Moore nodded. “God Bless the duke.”
Sirius pressed the blade to his cheek.
Moore whimpered.
Sirius whispered, “Names. I need names.”
Mr. Moore’s mouth opened and closed. His expression was anxious, yet he said nothing.
Who did he fear? Who were these men?
Tobias’ warning rang through his head. He hadn’t been alone.
“You’re going to make me work for it, are you?” Sirius smirked and sadly, it was genuine. He lived for this work.
A few months ago, all Sirius had wanted to do was run his bank in peace. But now he was the Earl of Gordie.
Most earls spent their time overseeing their land and when that was business was finished, they found games, clubs, and women to occupy their time.
None of that appealed to Sirius.
Cassius was redesigning his infrastructure, and he wanted men he trusted over the major operations. Nicholas—after much whining and complaining—took over the Foragers while Sirius took on the Collectors.
This was much better than gaming. Inflicting pain on those who deserved it thrilled him more than it should.
Sirius stood. “Tie him up.”
Moore began to scream, but Sirius’ beastly footman cupped Moore around the throat to silence him. They were still in the city. There was no need to wake their neighboring businesses. When Moore began to fight, Sirius reintroduced the blade and pressed it to Moore’s belly.
Moore stopped and allowed the men to tie his feet and his hands behind his back. Sirius watched without expression or sympathy.
Since the night Adam woke to find his mother weeping over him and Pia gone, he’d begun to change. His fighting had become more vicious. His need to break bones and draw blood heightened. With such a great amount of torment taking place in his mind and heart, he’d sought to find the means to bring pain to others.
Yet the boys he’d fought were already broken. Unlike him, the others had never had a choice to fight. Many of them were starving. Other men took their earnings.
The Secret Pleasures of an Earl: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 7