“If they could love me, yet just as easily shed the blood of the innocent, I wouldn’t want it. Their love would mean nothing.”
She frowned. “How easy for you to think so when you’ve been loved and spoiled your entire life.”
“You know nothing about my life!” he told her. “Get downstairs and let the servants in to pack your things.”
Pia marched from the room without looking at him. She didn’t allow him to see the tears that fell, and they were gone by the time she reached the parlor.
Adalina and Babbette were there, still half asleep. Instinctively, she moved to sit beside them and both girls curled up to rest their heads on her shoulders. Their warmth was a balm to the pain that Pia felt in her chest.
“Where are we going?” Babbette asked on a yawn.
“On a trip, back to the duke’s house,” Pia said.
Sirius arrived moments later. When their eyes locked, something passed over his gaze before he looked away. “The trunks are packed. Let’s go.” He moved close and picked up Babbette before he turned away.
Pia was left to assist Adalina to the carriage.
Once inside, Pia asked Sirius, “Aren’t you coming?”
“No, I’ve business here.” He looked at his daughters before looking at her. “Keep them safe.”
“I will.” She hated that they were parting on such terrible terms. “Be safe.”
He nodded and then closed the door behind him.
There’d been no parting words of affection, and Pia prayed they found a way to get over this situation, though she wasn’t sure how that would happen if he killed her aunt.
She understood her aunt was not a good person, but that didn’t stop Pia from loving her.
He didn’t understand.
Sirius’ life had always been easy. He’d grown up in wealth with parents who’d adored him. She was positive that if the shoe were on the other foot, he’d try and save his one loving family member as well.
“Is Papa not coming?” Babbette asked in a sleepy voice.
Pia tried to sound cheerful. “No, he isn’t, but we’ll see him later.”
“I hope so.” Babbette snuggled closer. “I like him better than our first papa.”
Pia frowned. She looked at Adalina who sat across from them. The eldest was in a deep sleep and likely couldn’t hear their conversation.
“What do you mean?” Pia asked Babbette. “Isn’t Sirius your father?”
“No,” Babbette sighed. “Papa died. Adam.”
Adam? Had she known him? Was Adam still alive?
Pia froze. “What? What do you mean? Where is Adam?”
Babbette didn’t answer. Pia shook her, but the girl wouldn’t be stirred and unwilling to hurt the girl, Pia calmed and tried to piece it all together in her mind, but she couldn’t.
What did Babbette mean? Perhaps her words were nothing more than the imaginings of a young girl who was half-dreaming.
Yet why would she mention Adam’s name? Adam was common, but for some reason, Pia was certain she meant Adam Jones, Pia’s Adam.
Many times she thought she saw him in Sirius, but over and over again, Sirius had worked to convince her it wasn’t true. It would be foolish to press the matter further. She’d accepted that she was married to Sirius and no one else.
But if Adam were alive, what could Pia do about it?
It would be sometime later before she could ask her questions.
∫ ∫ ∫
5 3
* * *
Sirius watched a week later as Pia slumbered. After fighting for her life, she was finally resting and though her breathing was slightly shallow, he was glad she was alive. When Cass had written him about her illness and had urged him to rush to his house, Sirius had felt a fear like none he’d ever known.
They’d not parted on the best of terms, but to lose her would have destroyed him.
Apparently, an infection from the wound she’d received in her shoulder had spread. Cass’ doctor, Lord Christian Sparrow, had been Gregory’s physician in his last years, keeping the old duke alive for far longer than Society would have liked.
Sparrow was good, young, experimental, and part of the movement of men who didn’t believe in the effectiveness of bloodletting. That didn’t mean that he and Sirius hadn’t fought over the last few days. Pia’s illness had grown worse, but somewhere in the last night, she’d finally calmed. Her fever had decreased, and Sirius felt hope that she would survive.
With his mind occupied with Pia, he’d been unable to do his work. Nick had stayed in London on his behalf and managed to round up all who opposed Cassius. Even after finding out that Melody was behind Pia’s illness, he’d pleaded that her life be spared, yet as an act of supreme kindness, Cassius had decided to allow all his enemies to live.
But that did not mean they wouldn’t be punished in some way.
Mullon and two others had turned. He’d worked to bring the group together that night so that Sirius didn’t have to. Sirius’ men had been in London for his party, and Cass’ enemies had been there to meet with Seys.
In a final clash, which Sirius had been told hadn’t lasted long, the dust had finally settled. What Cass planned for those men and women who’d plotted against him, Sirius didn’t know, but as the head of the Collectors, he was sure he’d be hearing something soon.
The person he had heard about was Melody. The actress had fought the longest and the hardest. Pia would be devastated once she heard about her aunt’s situation.
Hearing about Melody’s upbringing, Sirius suspected that Melody’s heart was mostly black. There had still been a part of it that clung to Pia, but the damage her father had wrought left her cold. She’d lost respect for others but had found a way to pretend that she did.
One of the most beautiful women in London, she’d lost out on acting jobs because of her cruelty to stagehands, especially the women.
He thought of all of this as he held Pia’s frail hand.
Twice in one night, he’d almost lost her. The first time, he’d been angry. Admittedly, now that she was getting better, he was still angry. She’d followed him that night because she hadn’t believed in him. She hadn’t trusted his word.
He didn’t doubt her love, but Sirius didn’t know where this left them.
Once Melody answered for her crimes, he was nearly certain Pia would abandon him forever.
He stood and left the room.
“Is she awake?” Adalina sat in her room with her door open. She’d originally been put in the guest wing, but she’d begged to be moved closer to her new mother. She’d wanted to watch after Pia and checked on her every day.
It had been Adalina’s first bout of tears that had brought Sirius’. Her brokenness had matched the emotions he tried to hide behind the facade of complete strength. Babbette hadn’t been much better, but Georgiana had found ways to keep the girl occupied with other things.
Adalina would not fall for distractions. She held a book in her hand, but Sirius doubted the girl had managed to read very far in the last few days.
“She’s not awake,” Sirius said. “But she sleeps more peacefully.”
“I’ll take her some tea when she wakes up,” Adalina decided. She made a funny face. “It smells terrible, but if it makes Mama better, I’ll give it to her every day.”
Sirius smiled. “Good. You’ll look after her while I’m away, won’t you?”
Adalina nodded. “Are you going to go meet the duke?” Cassius was in London where their enemies were currently being held by the authorities.
Sirius nodded. Now that the worst of Pia’s illness had passed, it was time to deal with those who wished him harm.
* * *
“Lady Pia, can you hear me?”
“Where did Lord Gordie go again?” Pia asked from her bed. She was sitting up. Adalina kept her teacup full. The concoction was terrible, but she sipped it, nonetheless.
“To London,” Dr. Sparrow said. “You are lucky to be alive.
You’d have died under the care of any other physician.”
Adalina added more tea to Pia’s cup. “He’s the best doctor in the whole world.” The admiration in the young girl’s voice was only partially due to the fact that he’d healed Pia. Dr. Sparrow was also very attractive, but Pia could sense some unsaid emotion coming from him.
Sparrow had gray eyes and pale hair. Dimples as well. They showed even when he wasn’t grinning. He was being short with Pia, though he tried to soften his voice.
Pia turned to Adalina. Hers had been the first face she’d seen when she woke, and her daughter hadn’t left since. “You have been such a blessing to me.” She touched Adalina’s hair.
Adalina sat next to her on the bed. “Do you want me to read to you, Mama?”
“In a little while, but right now, I need a moment alone with the doctor.”
Adalina stiffened and grabbed Pia’s hand. “Do you need anything? Are you feeling ill again?”
“No, my love. I feel so much better.” She touched Adalina’s hair and met her eyes. “God has seen fit that I should live if only to spend time with you. I look forward to the many years ahead.”
Adalina hugged her and didn’t let go. “I was so scared.” She sniffed.
Pia’s blinked back her tears, but her voice croaked. “Well, there’s no reason to fear anymore. We’re together.” She sighed and made a decision. She looked at the doctor. “Actually, I think I’ll spend some time with my daughter. Can we speak later?”
Dr. Sparrow’s expression softened. “I’ll be back when it’s time for another dose of medicine.”
Once he was gone, Adalina crawled into Pia’s bed and they spent the rest of the afternoon speaking and giggling about their wonderful time in London. Babbette came later and joined them. The bed fit them all nicely. They had lunch together and then Pia fell asleep. She felt a head settle on her shoulder and another on her hip and she thought she’d never been more comfortable in her life.
She thought of all the pain she’d endured in the last week and decided she’d do it again if her reward would be the laughter of her new daughters.
∫ ∫ ∫
5 4
* * *
Pia woke to a hand on her arm sometime later.
It was dark.
“More tea,” a male said.
She was jarred from her sleep and turned, expecting to see Sirius, but instead, it was the doctor.
She sat up and took the cup he gave her.
He moved to leave.
Pia asked, “Exactly where is my husband?”
“We wondered if you deserved to know.” No doubt those instructions had come from Sirius. He didn’t trust her. He had reason to doubt her. “But he’s in London.”
“Can you tell me what has happened?” It was all she could think about now that she was awake. While ill, she’d been aware of Sirius’ presence. She’d tried to cling to him but would lose him in the pain and dreams.
Eventually, she’d prayed for death, and it was only then she found peace.
So far, all she’d learned was that Sirius had left a few hours ago. It had been a week since her arrival at the duke’s house, and she wasn’t allowed to know where her husband was.
“Your aunt cut your arm. The blade must have been carrying something foul. It nearly killed you. I have healed you.” His jaw was set with deep arrogance. “Had you been in anyone else’s hands, you’d have died, Lady Gordie.”
“I’m very glad to be alive.”
“Your daughters are glad as well.” He watched her for a moment. “You truly love them, don’t you?”
Pia nodded and smiled at the thought of them. “Where have they run off to?”
“Mrs. Jones has taken them to dinner. I have brought yours.” He nodded toward a bowl on the table at her side. It was filled with a dark translucent liquid.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He crossed his arms and waited.
She was glad. She had more questions. “How did you know it was my aunt who cut me?”
“She confessed to it once she was caught. Lord Gordie and Lord Van Dero have gone to visit the prisoners and see what must be done to them.”
“Prisoners?”
“If I were you, I would pray that the duke punishes her himself. Otherwise…”
Pia’s throat closed, and her eyes burned. She closed them. “Otherwise?”
“The penalty for her actions will be death.”
She shuddered. “The duke plans to kill her?”
Dr. Sparrow shook his head. “The authorities have all of them. The duke is seeing what can be done with those who choose to cooperate. He might have the power to save one or two.”
Pia doubted he would save her aunt. She doubted her aunt would cooperate. Pia had already tried to help her see reason and she refused. “Thank you, you may go.”
“Eat or you’ll become ill again.”
The doctor left after that announcement and Pia gave into her grief.
∫ ∫ ∫
5 5
* * *
“Georgiana, can I speak to you?” Pia asked a day later.
Her mother-in-law smiled at her, though she looked tired. She, like Pia, had been worrying about Melody. The two had been friends once upon a time. Had it not been for their friendship, Pia would have never met Sirius.
Thinking about Sirius, and trying to not think about her aunt, Pia’s mind had begun to recall the conversation she’d had with Babbette.
She’d tried to speak with Babbette again yesterday, but Adalina had been near and at the mention of Adam, Adalina had taken her younger sister away with a troubled expression. Since then, Adalina remained close to her little sister.
Everyone seemed to be hiding a secret from Pia, and Pia was beginning to fear she knew what it was.
Georgiana was in the drawing room reading. She closed her book at the sight of Pia. “You can always speak to me about anything.”
Pia moved to sit at her side. Seeing no reason to waste time, Pia asked the question that pressed on her heart the most. “Is Adam still alive?”
Georgiana blinked and stiffened before pulling away with a frown. “Why would you ask such a question?”
Pia hung her head. “Forgive me.” What had she been thinking to ask Georgiana that? Adam had been her only son. She hadn’t realized how callous the question was until it left her lips. “I’m sorry.” She stood. “Never mind.”
“No.” Georgiana caught her hand. “Tell me. What has made you ask this question?” Georgiana looked troubled, which only made Pia feel worse. “Did someone say something to you? Did someone—”
“Forget I mentioned it, Georgiana. Please.”
“Pia.” Georgiana’s look was stern. “Your question is a most unusual one. Please, tell me what made you ask it.”
Pia sat back down. She tried to remember her conversation with Babbette the night she’d been stabbed. “It could be nothing, but… Babbette mentioned that her father died.” She met Georgiana’s eyes. “But Sirius is her father, isn’t he?”
Georgiana gave her a soft smile. “Yes. Lord Sirius Hayes is Babbette’s father.”
“And Adam is… gone?” Pia asked.
Georgiana took a deep breath. “I believe you should tell me everything Babbette said.”
So Pia did.
Georgiana nodded in the end. “Perhaps, you heard Babbette incorrectly.”
Perhaps she had. It had been a strange night. So much had happened before that moment and then she’d fallen ill. She was worried for her aunt and worried about her relationship with Sirius. She felt she should be there in London for them both, but her weakness kept her in the country.
Every time she went back to that night, she wished she’d done a hundred things differently.
She would not have left with her aunt. She’d have remained with her husband. She’d have trusted him. That there was a chance she’d never see her aunt alive again was the most disturbing.
�
��I know you’re worried, but trust them,” Milly said, walking into the room. Cassius had left as well, but his men surrounded his estate as though it were a fortress.
Pia said nothing, since she’d already betrayed Sirius’ trust.
Georgiana stood. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
Once she was gone, Milly went on, “The authorities won’t help, not where it counts. Cassius plans to get more political once the Season begins. Only the changing of the laws can help the boys they are trying to help.”
“A lord has been murdered.” She’d told Milly about the events of that night but had left out how it had devastated her marriage. “Won’t Sirius and the others get in trouble for that?”
Milly asked, “Did Sirius kill him?”
“No, but—”
“Then trust him.”
Pia stood and sighed. “It’s easy to say but hard to do.” And she knew the real reason she was struggling to trust Sirius. “There are things he’s not telling me. He rarely speaks about his past. I knew nothing about his first wife until a few nights ago.”
“It will come in time,” Milly said calmly. “I don’t know if you heard, but Van Dero forced me into our marriage.”
Pia ‘s eyes widened, and she looked Milly over. Nothing about Milly spoke of a woman who was forced or unhappy.
Milly laughed. “We got married in his dungeons. My brother was chained to the wall. I told Van Dero I would never love him, and he was not surprised in the least.” Milly looked away. Her face colored as if from some scandalous memory. “It took some time, but eventually, I fell in love and that love opened him up to me.” Milly smiled at her. “I didn’t understand what it meant to be the Duke of Van Dero. I’m still trying to learn what it is to be Lady Van Dero.”
“You do your role well.” Pia sat back down. Her lips tilted up at one end. “It is clear that you love your husband and he you. The stories of the cold duke that I heard before I met him are far different from the fire I see in his eyes when he looks at you.”
Milly giggled and sighed wistfully. “Oh, I love him so much. Just as much as you love Sirius.”
The Secret Pleasures of an Earl: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 26