“Sometimes it was to own a certain watch or a car, another time it was to have a head office for his company in every state.”
“Christ. Every state?” Jesus. I’d known the bastard was rich. But that fucking rich?
“Yeah. That was before the downturn though. When I was a kid, like, when I was twelve? We suffered a lot of losses, but we got through them.” She gulped. “I think that’s why it made it so hard when he didn’t even try to fight through this one. He was like that. Always striving for more.”
“Sometimes it gets tiring, always striving.”
I knew that from my own past. Fuck, just wishing for a day when Mom wouldn’t forget to put food in the refrigerator had been exhausting.
“Maybe. I guess I’ll never know why he did it,” she said mournfully.
“Did he leave a note?”
“Not that I know of. Mom didn’t tell me if she found one.”
“She found him?”
“Yeah.” Her gulp said it all, and when she changed the subject I let her. “Rex said that his company was funded by the Fieri family, Sin. It’s crazy for me to think that could be true.”
“A lot of corporations are fronts,” I told her softly. “It’s not that surprising.”
“My dad wasn’t like that.” She made a scoffing sound. “Or at least, the dad I thought he was didn’t seem to be like that.”
Because she sounded like she was on the brink of tears, I muttered, “Grizzly is Rex’s uncle.”
She tensed. “Rex’s uncle? Why would he want me to talk about him with you?”
I pulled a face at nothing in particular as I muttered, “Because he’s my father.”
“What? You’re Rex’s cousin?”
Blowing out a breath, I groused, “Unfortunately. Grizzly and I never got on.”
“Start at the beginning.”
“I don’t get why the fuck he was talking about this shit,” I snapped, determined that I really was going to beat the shit out of my Prez when I got my hands on him.
“Maybe because it was important?”
“It isn’t. Rex and I don’t tell anyone. We never have, and we never will.”
“How come?”
“It’s how I want it. I don’t want to get any perks for being blood—”
“He doesn’t help you out more than the brothers?” she queried doubtfully.
“No. The only time he has is with the Ohio situation. Fuck knows what might have happened if Rex hadn’t listened to me.”
She squeezed me. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault. That fucker’s fault. It’s all right now. I’m back home, you’re with me, and that cunt is waiting on a crypt. Exactly how it should be.”
Tiff burrowed into me as she inquired, “Why didn’t you and your dad get along?”
“Because I didn’t know him. Not until I was older. Mom wasn’t the best parent in the world. She was a selfish bitch then, and she’s still one now, but she’s morphed from being a trashy slut into a trashy wife. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mary Catherine’s father divorces her soon for a younger model.”
She winced. “That’s a little harsh.”
“No, it ain’t. I knew what she was when I was a kid, and I know it even more now. Just because she’s stopped whoring herself out for cash doesn’t mean she isn’t still doing it with her husband. He might be a high-ranking officer in the Five Points, but that doesn’t mean she ain’t still his whore.”
“You hate her?”
The long-held bitterness that had kept me under control almost all my life froze up inside me at the question, then I figured I was the man I was today because of that slut. So I relaxed and thought about it. Thought about how good it felt for her to hold me. How good it felt for my future not to be solely focused on the MC. How good it felt to know I might be the MC’s Enforcer someday… All those things were made possible because of how my past had forged me.
So, I released a breath, expelled the poison, and sucked in some fresh air that wasn’t tainted with hate.
“I actually don’t. I did. I’ll admit that. I fucking loathed her for a long time. The shit she made me listen to, the shit she did, the way she’d treat me? Throwing shit at me when I was little. Now? I know she was a fucking kid herself.”
“She had you when she was young?”
“When she was fifteen.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah.” I blew out a breath.
“Grizzly was eighteen when he met her, but even though he was young, he knew what she was, and he also was as much of a dick back then as he was before he died.”
“He died?”
“On a run,” I said dispassionately—about his death, not about the lie I just told her. If she knew the truth? She’d never let me near her again. I’d lie to her about nothing else except for that bastard’s death and my involvement in it.
“Oh.”
That summed it up.
I cleared my throat. “I remember Grizzly from when I was really young, like his visits when I was just a brat, but it’s very faint. I almost forgot about him until she mentioned that my father was a Satan’s Sinner because he stopped coming around when I was maybe seven?
“One day, I got sick of being her fucking punching bag, sick of her never feeding me, sick of me having to steal shit just to get by, for having to fight for every mouthful of food, and I left home. Ran away to NJ, found the clubhouse, and almost pissed myself as I walked up the drive when the Prospect let me in.”
“I’m surprised they did. Thought they’d ask who you were.”
I pulled a face. “I’m my father’s spitting image.”
It was her turn to clear her throat. “Well, I’m sorry for your sake, Sin, but not for mine. You’re a beautiful man.”
My nose crinkled. “Shut up. Men aren’t beautiful.”
She snickered, and the sound of her laughter during such a heavy conversation was music to my goddamn ears. “You’re totally beautiful. A rose by any other name—”
“Still sends ants up your nose.”
She froze. “Huh?”
I laughed. “If you sniff a rose, ants come out of the petals, crawl up your nose, and enter your brain.”
“I need scientific proof of that theory,” she retorted.
“Will a Google search be enough?” I joked, making her snicker.
“Go on though. You were saying?”
I heaved a sigh. “They recognized me. All of them did, but they were the older crowd. The last generation. Lot of them are dead now, and what happens inside the club stays there.”
“You mean they never told their kids who you were? Christ.”
I shrugged. “Nothing to tell. What the fuck does a bastard kid have as any importance? Lots of them around. I was no different. Sure, I was related to the Prez, but again, so what?”
“Did they take you in?” she asked after a few seconds.
“Still here, ain’t I?” I muttered awkwardly, because that wasn’t down to dear old Dad. Nope. That was down to Bear, Rex’s dad, and the MC’s last Prez.
“You enlisted for a reason. A lot of young kids do that because they’re looking to find a home.”
Maybe it was pussy assed of me to do it, but I reached for her hand once more, entwined my fingers with hers, and said, “Yeah? Well, the Marines weren’t no home. This is my home. You, me, the kid. Us.”
A shaky sigh escaped her, and she sank into me like I was all she needed in this fucking world. “Yes. We are.”
“We don’t need mansions. We don’t need—”
“You don’t have to finish that sentence,” she whispered softly. “No, we don’t need any of that stuff. I never imagined I’d have someone like you, Sin. Someone who’d want me for me. Who’d want to be with me because I’m Tiffany and not just Tiffany Farquar. It’s… I’m still trying to get my head around it if I’m being honest.”
“What’s to get your head around, Tiff? You’re fucking awesome.”
“Takes
one to know one,” she countered wryly, but I heard her smile and knew she’d liked what I had to say.
“You know that first night?”
She hummed under her breath.
“I knew exactly where you were. At all times. I saw Storm beside you, and I didn’t like it. Not when he pulled his fucking cock out, not even when he just took a fucking seat.
“I saw you wander around the MC, all wide-eyed and watching shit like it was a science experiment.
“I didn’t like it. I liked your ass, but I didn’t like how you were fucking staring at shit as though it was too good for you.” I sucked in a breath. “Then you goddamn smirked at me. And it fucked with my head. You fucked with my head. It’s what you did from the start—”
“And what I’ll do until the day you die,” she purred, twisting her hand in mine so she could lace our fingers together.
I had only one word to say to that.
“Amen.”
Thirteen
Sin
The next morning
“The fuck is your problem.” When I shoved Rex in the shoulder, hard enough to make him fall back, I knew it was a mistake, knew it, but it didn’t stop me from fucking doing it.
Rex’s eyes flared wide with warning, and the stillness he was renowned for made him look like a goddamn puma on the verge of pouncing. “You got a problem?”
“Damn fucking straight I’ve got a motherfucking problem. You think you can speak to my woman without me there? The fuck, man?” I snarled at him, but I wasn’t a fool.
Even in the haze of rage, I wasn’t going to get in his face now I’d gotten a good lick in. I wasn’t averse to having the shit kicked out of me, but I was averse to Tiff having to see it and having to look at the fucking shiners every day for a couple weeks.
His jaw tensed, before he snapped, “The only reason I’m not going to make you kiss your own ass right now is because you came to me in my office.”
I was so mad at him I couldn’t see straight, but I didn’t have a fucking death wish.
Not only would that bring Rex’s ire to my shoulders, but Nyx’s too.
I tipped my chin up. “Your momma didn’t raise no fool.”
That had him bellowing out a sigh as I dropped Rene into the conversation. “Motherfucker.”
“Yeah, I am right now. Except I’m fucking the future mother of my goddamn kid, Rex. The fuck were you thinking loading that shit on her? Treating her like she’s the fucking enemy?”
He reached up and scraped a hand over his chin. “You’re not the Enforcer yet, Sin.”
I heard the warning.
I wouldn’t be the Enforcer if I didn’t back the fuck down.
“Since when have you known me to back off when something needs to be said? How the hell would you feel if I’d approached Rachel, got her all riled up and questioning shit, and all while she was carrying your kid?”
Rex’s glower lessened after I mentioned his Achilles’ heel. “I’d want to make you eat your balls.”
His admission had some of the tension seeping from my shoulders. “E-fucking-xactly. Why the hell did you approach her without me? I’m her Old Man, Rex. You come through me with this shit.”
“Ain’t branded her yet.”
“Fuck you,” I snapped, furious at the statement. “She’s pregnant.”
Rex scowled. “So? Even more reason to brand her.”
“You can’t get ink when you’re pregnant, dumb fuck.”
“Watch it, Sin,” he snapped.
“What’s to fucking watch? Can’t make my Old Lady my Old goddamn Lady because she’s pregnant.” I flipped him the bird. “That mean she ain’t entitled to the same protection as Giulia?” When I arched my neck, thrusting my chin at him, his answering scowl didn’t make me back the fuck off. “You and I both know if you’d pulled that shit on Giulia, Nyx would be more than in your goddamn face over this.”
Rex’s temper settled at my retort, and he grunted, “Didn’t know that about pregnant women and ink.”
“Yeah, I see that,” I retorted. “But she’s mine. Do you fucking hear me? I claim her here in front of you, and the second she can get ink, I’m getting her ink.”
“A doctor told you she can’t? She isn’t—” He shrugged his shoulders. “—trying to get out of it?”
“No,” I snapped, fury making me feel like steam was surging out of my pores. “What the fuck? I’d ask if you didn’t like her, but I don’t give a shit if you do or not. She’s mine, Rex. Do you fucking get that?”
Rex’s jaw tensed but he raised his hands. “I get that.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t know the score. That’s all.”
“Well, now you fucking do. What’s this shit about Fieri, anyway? You should have talked to me about this first.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I should.”
“I’d have lost everything for her, man. If anyone knew that, it was you.”
“And that was why I had to protect you.”
“From her? I don’t need protecting from her.” I shook my head. “Here’s me trying to make her see the MC as my family, and you just go and knock shit back for me.”
“I’m sorry, Sin, I didn’t fucking know, all right? I can see you want to wife her, but brand her? That’s another thing entirely.”
Typical—didn’t think there’d be much asslicking by way of apology from this fucker. I was damn lucky to have gotten what I did.
“You should have spoken to me about Grizzly as well. That entire fucking conversation you breached all kinds of boundaries.”
“I was preparing her—”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “We agreed. That shit would stay in the club.”
“And it will. She needs to fucking know you’ve got a temper on you.”
“Why? You were hoping to scare her off? Make her back away? Make up your fucking mind. Either she’s bad news for me or I’m bad news for her.” I clenched my teeth. “Not only will I never fucking hurt her, she’s carrying my kid. You wanted her to run off? Take my kid from me? I won’t be like my fucking father. I want to be in my kid’s life, do you hear me?”
Rex, brave bastard that he was, approached the lion in his den and moved toward me. He put a hand on my shoulder, then, when I didn’t snap it off, he put the other there too. I knew I was breathing like I was a bull in the middle of a fucking fight with a matador, but that was how goddamn enraged I was.
Not only had he disrespected Tiff, he’d disrespected me. He’d told her shit I wasn’t ready to tell her, and worse of all, he’d told her shit that scared her without making sure I was in the loop first.
“I hear you, and you will be. That wasn’t my intent,” he told me softly, not stopping until my forehead was butted up against his. “We’re family, whether or not you like to hide from it. I want what’s best for you.”
“She’s what’s best for me,” I rasped. “Fuck, she’s the only good thing in my goddamn life.”
Rex shook his head. “That ain’t true.”
“Yeah. It is.” I let him see the whole truth and nothing but the fucking truth in my eyes, and when he did, I whispered, “Yeah. Been hanging on by a fucking thread for a long goddamn time, cuz. Too much drink, too much sex.” I shook my head again. “I can’t deal with this shit without her, man.”
His hand tightened about my shoulder. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. Fuck.” A breath rattled from my lips. “Don’t scare her off.”
“I won’t. I was trying to protect you. She’s in deep, and you didn’t know it.”
“Neither did she,” I rasped. “She didn’t know shit until you tore her eyes open.”
Rex winced. “I’m sorry.”
“Not enough,” I replied, honestly. “She’s my woman. Just remember that.”
“I ain’t likely to forget,” he rumbled. “Not now.”
A sigh heaved from me. “Good. Now, what the fuck is going on?”
“Lodestar and
Maverick keep uncovering clusterfucks,” he muttered. His forehead pushed into mine, not aggressively, like he was reminding me we were blood. I appreciated it. When he pulled away and scrubbed a hand over his hair, tugging at the ends like he wanted to tug it off by the roots, I watched him as he strode over to a tray of liquor. When he poured himself a JD, neat, I eyed it warily—fucker didn’t drink this early in the day.
Hadn’t since he’d become Prez.
“What’s going on?”
“Told Storm about the situation in Coshocton in this morning’s council meeting.”
The change of subject didn’t bother me. I knew how it felt to need to work up to something. That Rex, this hardcore fuck, needed to build himself up put me on edge. “Didn’t go well?”
“No. Didn’t.”
“Can’t blame him. Wouldn’t want to be away from my kid, either.”
Rex hissed out a breath. “I don’t want that. If the dumbfuck had kept it in his pants, Keira would still be with him, and they’d be going down together.”
I scrubbed a hand over my jaw. “Whether you want it or not, you’re asking him to leave his family behind.”
“The family he screwed over.”
My shrug said it all—I agreed with him, but it didn’t take away from the truth, did it?
“We need someone we can trust down there.”
“Steel—”
“Prefer him up here. Needs to be Storm. Fucker’s killing himself here.” Rex’s mouth turned mutinous. “It’ll be hard at first, but I ain’t letting this drop. He can throw as many tantrums as he wants. Coshocton, fucking responsibility, leadership, it’ll straighten him out more than any twelve steps.” He took a deep gulp of JD, then rasped, “Second he’s gone, I’m putting you forward as Enforcer and Nyx as VP. You down with that?”
“You know I am, brother.”
Rex dipped his chin. “Shit’s coming our way.” He peered out the window like there were rolling golden hills out there, Elysian Fields and all that shit. Course, I only knew what they were because, while Tiff was in the bath last night and I was shaving, she’d told me about her trip to Paris and to the Champs Elysees.
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