by Lisa Hughey
Zach had worshipped her. Every touch, every caress had been fraught with a tenderness and desire that she had only imagined previously.
Shasa dropped her basket and stripped off her skirt and ruffled top. In a rare act of defiance she had forgone her shift. Naked as a jaybird, she ran into the ocean. The sea seemed particularly unruly today and she was rocked rather violently by the waves.
But nothing could dim her happiness. She was overjoyed at her good fortune after despairing of ever finding pleasure within the sea of pirates who overran her island. But now she had Zach. He had not promised her anything, but she knew deep in her heart, with every fiber of her being that he loved her just as much as she loved him.
The waves rolled over her bare skin like a lover caressing her body the way Zach’s hands had stroked her last eve.
Oh, she could not wait to experience the decadences of the flesh again.
The sun dimmed casting a pall over the roughening waves.
Shasa blinked the water from her eyes and headed toward the shore. Suddenly Zach was there. As in he appeared out of thin air and stood by her blanket and basket.
A chill that had nothing to do with the shadows playing over the sand skittered through her. Premonition, fierce and frightening, banded around her chest and made it hard to breathe.
What magic was this?
A man could not just appear out of nowhere. Fear had her hesitating even as she swam toward her lover.
“Shasa.” He was frantic. “You have to get out of here. Now!”
Admittedly those were not the words she’d longed to hear out of her new lover’s mouth, but she had other concerns. “What are you about?”
“Gods. There’s no time.” Zach yanked her from the shallow water and was shoving her clothing over her head. “You must get to high ground.”
His hands were rough as he jerked on her clothing. She stood pliantly unable to figure out what he was blathering about.
“Get as high as you can.”
“But—”
He took her mouth in a hard, desperate kiss. “I’m sorry.”
Shasa scrambled away from Zach. Afraid. Of him. Of whatever he believed was coming.
“Go,” he commanded. “I will find you later. Be safe.”
Before she could say a word. He disappeared. Into thin air.
That magic terrified her. But she didn’t have time to get upset because she could feel the menace in the air. However, Shasa didn’t heed to his request. Whatever was coming, she had to save her Maman.
She’d made it to the center of town, almost to her mother’s tavern, when a deep, thunderous rumbling shook the ground and she lost her balance. The force threw her to the ground. Before her horrified gaze the earth began to fold in on itself.
Screams assaulted her ears, terror and fright echoing in the air, until an even larger noise overtook the sounds of the villagers’ fear.
Shasa turned to see what could be making that noise.
The sea had risen, angry, fierce. A massive wall of water came rushing toward her.
There was no escape. She could not run fast enough or far enough to flee the wrath of the ocean. Shasa stood tall, and pushed her shoulders back, waiting for death.
She screamed into the roar of the thunderous deadly wave, not her traitorous lover’s name, but the instead she wanted to know how the universe could be so cruel, so capricious. “Why?”
Her final thought as the water smashed into her body, closed over her head, and dragged her out to her beloved sea was that Zach had known.
As she swirled down into the depths of the ocean, her heart broke as easily as her body, cracking and shattering under the enormous pressure of the water, just like the town had submerged and broken in front of her.
He was not of this world. Because Zach had known death was coming.
And he hadn’t saved her.
Present day
Angelic Realm
Zach clutched Shasa in his arms as he translocated them back to the Realm and into his bedroom. The picture of that structure hitting her replayed in his head over and over like a six second .gif. Nausea swirled in his stomach and crowded his throat.
Her breaths were slow and measured as her chest rose evenly indicating no major damage. The relief that thundered through him was so powerfully overwhelming that his knees dipped and he dropped to the bed.
Michael appeared and took note of Zach’s desperate hold on Shasa. He couldn’t seem to loosen his arms.
“You’re going to have to let her go, you know,” Michael said.
“I am aware,” Zach replied. He couldn’t let go of her just yet. “As long as she is alive and well I will live with whatever consequences are deemed appropriate by the Council.”
Michael said, “Rafe is on his way to check her.”
Zach nodded. He thought he would know if she was in immediate peril. He curled her against his chest and savored the steady flow of her breathing.
“I will give her up as soon as I know that she will recover and be okay.” He refused to compromise on this. Michael hesitated, then took his leave without another word.
Shasa didn’t stir in his arms. Zach tightened his hold and savored the sweet brush of her curls against his neck. He took note of all the little details that made up his love. Because when she awoke, she would have to return to Earth.
Zach lay her down on his bed and pressed his lips to hers. “Be well, precious.”
Shasa jolted up in bed as if electrified. Zach could see her heart banging against her ribcage.
“Shasa.” Zach’s voice broke. “You’re okay.”
“Oh my God.” She scooted up the bed until her back was pressed against the headboard, as far away from him as she could be. “You killed me.”
Zach blanched.
“You knew it was coming.”
Sickness welled inside him as the ramifications hit one after one. He’d wanted the Council to wait. But they hadn’t. And he’d been too late. But he’d known that’s what they had been planning.
She clutched her hands to her chest, the betrayal and agony in her gaze so visceral, he felt as if he were experiencing it right along with her.
“Yes.” His worst fear had come to fruition. She remembered.
She was wild-eyed and frantic as she cowered away from him.
“You knew,” she screamed. She seemed poised, waiting for him to deny it. Waiting for the excuses to start.
He calmed now that he could see for himself that she was okay. With every breath he got calmer and she got more upset. This final betrayal was all him. But he had survived her death, he would survive this as well.
“You remember.” He turned away from her, his back stiff and unyielding. He couldn’t bear to see the accusation in her bruised violet gaze. Unmoving, head down, he stared at his hands, as if they held the secrets of the Universe.
Shasa waited for him to say something. But he didn’t speak.
No denial. No protestations of innocence.
“You killed me!” Shasa wanted him on his knees. Begging her forgiveness. “You killed us all.”
She didn’t think about how irrational she sounded. It had happened hundreds of years ago. She was here now. Alive. But the pain and the disbelief that had hit her moments ago in her dream seemed so real, so immediate. As if it had just happened.
His betrayal hit her hard. This whole time and he’d been the one. The reason she was terrified of water. If her dreams were even half true, he’d been the one who’d ruined her in more ways than one.
“Yes.”
She thought he was unaffected. As if her death had meant nothing.
Then he turned around, faced her, chin up, eyes dead. And she saw. Saw his grief. Saw his horror. Saw his regret. But no apology.
She knew she was being irrational, but he’d known this entire time. “Were you the one who gave me my memory back?”
Did he want her to remember? Did he want her to blame him? Was he fucked up enough that he
would do that? He wanted her to hate him?
He shook his head. “No. You should have no memories of that time.”
Yet she did. She thought about all the times he’d made reference to forgiveness. But she didn’t think he wanted forgiveness. He wanted to wallow in the horror of what he’d done. “You want me to hate you?”
“What?!” Zach’s head came up quickly. “No. Of course not.”
Shasa’s sense of betrayal was already fading. It was clear that he was far more defeated by the memories, about what happened than she was.
And as she remembered all the times he’d spoken of forgiveness, she realized he was tormenting himself worse than she could ever do.
Her heart softened. Hadn’t she promised him that he would be forgiven? What kind of hypocrite would she be if she didn’t give him what he needed to find peace? He’d given her so much. He’d helped her with her fear of water and helped her stop hiding from life.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “You were amazing against the tsunami. I couldn’t have done it without you. And I couldn’t be more proud.”
Her heart swelled. She had done it. She’d conquered her fears and helped him save people. How fucking cool was that?
Before she could tell him that she forgave him, they were interrupted.
“Zach.” Gabriel appeared before them, glancing curiously between the two. And the moment was lost. “The Realm Council is ready.”
“I’ll get someone to take you home.” With those simple words he crushed her hopes.
Shasa’s dreams died. She wanted to recapture that joy that had been present in her dreams, to finally know what love was like in this life. But with that one sentence he’d let her know that her longings were destined to be unrequited.
“Nope.” Gabe gave Shasa a wry smile. “Sorry, doll. They want you too. You kicked ass.”
***
When they entered the giant conference room, it was full to bursting. Shasa fell back a step at the sheer number of people inside. Zach wanted to grab her hand, hold on and reassure her that everything would be okay but he didn’t know if that was truth or not and he refused to lie to her one more time.
Besides which she hated him.
“Buck up,” he murmured rather than coddle her.
As expected, the sarcastic words twisted her up. Shasa stiffened her shoulders and lifted her chin clearly determined to hold her own in a room full of powerful figures from the Angelic Realm.
Pride slithered through him. His woman did kick ass.
Fuck him, but he should not be thinking of Shasa as his. That way lay danger because even if she didn’t hate him, nothing could come of his unrequited love.
Archangels and humans were strictly forbidden.
Zach glanced around the table and noted that Thomas, head of the Cherubim, was here. The angels from the First Sphere rarely attended meetings, leaving most of the day to day issues to the lesser angels. Their position called for them to be more counselor than actual dispenser of justice, their contribution to the Realm more philosophical than practical. Typically, they only attended Council meetings if there was a significant vote on the agenda.
Nora, Madame Throne, the dispenser of justice was also in attendance. She must have come back from the Earth in order to attend this meeting. All the Archangels except Rafe and Uri were in the room. He wondered if Rafe was keeping an eye on Uri while the Council met.
“Zachariel.” Victor, head of the Virtues, nodded solemnly at him, then at Shasa. “Human.”
It was amazing how much sneer could be injected into the prissy angel’s tone. Zach suddenly wondered why Victor was so snippy toward humans. He knew for a fact that he was adamant that the angels in the Realm protect the humans but whenever Victor met one face to face, his attitude was less than friendly.
Before he could consider more about Victor’s odd aversion to humans, Michael called the meeting to order. “Take your seats, please.”
Everyone sat. Shasa had been given a seat next to Zach. He wished that she was further away. He didn’t want the Council to associate her with him. They were frequently unhappy with him and he didn’t want their displeasure to blow back on Shasa.
“We have much to discuss.” Michael had lowered his gaze and stared at the mahogany table while everyone waited for him to continue. The silence went on for an uncomfortable length of time until the inhabitants of the room were edgy, fidgeting.
“We were victorious in stopping the Grigori?” Nora asked softly. The strain of taking care of Uri was clearly getting to her. She had dark circles underneath her blue eyes and her aura lacked its usual serenity.
Zach spoke, “We were able to minimize the loss of life. Except for the displaced homeless and those who refused to leave their homes, the casualties were under a thousand rather than hundreds of thousands. And most of the destruction was limited to waterfront property. The citizens will need to rebuild but the disastrous potential for loss of life was prevented.”
Everyone bowed their heads to honor the loss of human lives.
“The consequences could have been far worse,” Michael continued. “Zachariel and his human Angel were able to push back the water before it could sweep further into the interior.”
Nora inclined her head. “Our thanks go to them both.”
“The threat is abated,” Michael said solemnly. “For now.”
“Do you fear any more tsunamis?” Zach frowned.
Michael shrugged. “The war is not over.”
“I know.” Zach traced the delicate lines of Shasa’s face with his gaze unwilling to take his eyes off her in case she began to exhibit any signs of trauma. “We had help today.”
Michael agreed. “I thought there was another.”
“Another?” Nora’s voice rose.
“I couldn’t get a read on the energy force,” Zach said.
Michael closed his eyes put his palms together as if in prayer position.
Zach said, “The psychic energy felt feminine, except it also felt like Remiel. Which doesn’t make any sense.”
Michael jerked.
“Any ideas?” Gabriel asked.
Michael was silent, his contemplation of the grain in the table surface seemed ill-timed.
Zach had no idea. But it was clear that Michael was caught up in something. They could see his bewilderment as he muttered, “It can’t be. She’s dead.”
“Who?” Sam’s question was gentle, treating Michael as if he would startle at a loud noise. Their fearless leader seemed…lost.
“Zara,” Michael finally replied.
The room erupted into a cacophony of rising voices.
“I thought she was dead!” Victor shouted.
“Well that’s certainly a surprise.” Sam was staring at Michael with a concerned look on his face.
“And she helped us?” Nora asked softly.
“If that is who helped Zach, then yes.” Michael shook off whatever doubts and insecurities he was feeling and addressed the Council. “I think the damage would have been much worse if we hadn’t had her help.”
As one they turned to get Zach’s input.
“I concur,” Zach said quietly. “Even though we were slowing the wall of water, it would have hit the coastline, and the bridges, with much more force without the interference.”
“What does this mean?”
“Can we trust her?”
“She must be captured.”
The rumblings continued with no one taking charge of the conversation and Michael being uncharacteristically quiet.
Shasa leaned over and whispered in Zach’s ear, “Who is Zara?” The puff of breath did things to his insides that he needed to stop immediately. But he couldn’t stop the smile that spread over his face at her nearness. She might be mad at him but she still trusted him. If she didn’t she wouldn’t have scooted her chair closer. For just a second, Zach tuned out the chaos around them and savored their intimate cocoon of privacy.
“Remember the guy who wan
ted me to join him?” Zach finally answered.
“Sure.”
“His sister.”
“She’s Fallen?”
“You had contact with Remiel?” Victor’s strident question broke through the buzzing conversations and the room fell silent again.
Victor’s unspoken accusation dropped like a pebble in a still pond. The ripples of malcontent spread out in ever increasing circles until every eye was trained on him. But he refused to cave to their pressure. Fuck them if they believed he would ever betray the Realm.
He hardened his face into its familiar scowl, even though the expression should be comforting like an old blanket, he found it no longer fit him. No longer fit who he wanted to be. And that pissed him off. “He made contact with me.”
“And you didn’t apprehend him?” Gabe asked speculatively.
“I was busy.” Zach shrugged his shoulder in a lazy gesture as if he didn’t have a worry in the world. As if they didn’t suddenly suspect him of colluding with their enemy.
Thomas, the Cherubim, eyed him with open curiosity but didn’t say a word.
“Busy!” Victor said incredulously. “You…ungrateful bastard.”
“Sanction me, or let’s move on,” Zach gritted out.
Michael shoved his chair away from the table and stood abruptly. “We needed him.”
Shasa whirled to face Zach and clenched her fists. “Why do you always want people to assume the worst?”
“I would think you of all people would be on board with that.” Zach let the pain of that statement sink into his bones, ignoring the rest of the room’s inhabitants.
Shasa defiantly addressed the Realm Council. “Yes. Remiel tried to get Zach to join them.” Shasa imparted. “But he turned them down, of course.”
The Council exhaled as one.
Shasa’s defense had turned the tide again. But Zach could see that she was still upset. What she didn’t understand was that he had been the surly scapegoat for hundreds of years. The position was a familiar one.
“I had to make a choice. The humans or going after Remiel.” He let that information sink in. Then succinctly he relayed the conversation between him and Remiel.
Finally Michael nodded. “Understood.”