Maddoc drops the knife in the sink with force, spinning to glare at me. “She’d fuck around with you there?”
Almost every single night.
I lift a shoulder.
“Raven.”
I shake my head and look over at him, finding he has a death grip on the counter. “It’s life, big man.”
He gets in my face, misplaced anger staring back at me. “That’s not life. That’s a piece of shit person putting her daughter in danger.”
I eye him and the longer I do, the more his worry seeps through.
He jerks away when my hand lifts and goes back to the job at hand.
“Check your rice, Raven.”
I roll my eyes and jump down.
Like I know what that means.
“Yo.” The other two walk in, beers in hand.
Cap laughs at me. “He put you to work?”
“He’s trying to teach me.” I lift a fork of white mush. My shoulders fall. “But I’m a shit student in all areas, it seems.”
“You still feelin’ the vodka floats?”
“Nope. Now I’m feeling the pounding on my temples.”
He and Royce laugh and start pulling out the dishes and shit for dinner.
We all move to the table like we’ve done every night since they pulled me into their little world.
Little world...
I look to Cap and right as I do, his eyes lift to mine and he gives a small, sad smile.
I drop mine to my plate.
“Her name is Zoey.”
My head snaps up and all movement around the table pauses. Dead fucking silence surrounds us, no one even dares chew.
“She’s two,” he continues. “Be three in June.”
My ribs star to ache. “What color are her eyes?” My question comes out quieter than I planned.
His mouth twitches. “Sometimes green, sometimes blue.”
“Like yours.”
He laughs lightly while nodding. He drops his eyes to his food. “Just like mine.”
“Captain...” I breathe, glancing from Royce to Maddoc, both who stare at me.
I don’t want to ask, but I want to know everything. So I wait.
“She’s with a foster family.”
I frown, sitting back in my chair.
“Zoey’s mom hid the pregnancy from me. I had no clue I was going to be a dad until after I already was.”
“What the fuck?”
“She was there, all was good, then Perkins called her from class that afternoon.”
Fuuuck. Now it makes sense why they freaked after my meeting with him.
He got in her head.
“She was gone after that. Took off, hid away, and came back in the summer. When school started, she was suddenly going to Graven,” he continued.
“I didn’t care. I wanted nothing to do with her when she showed back up, wrote her off completely. But someone wanted me to know.” He looks to his brothers who offer small nods of encouragements. “Found delivery records in my gym bag two weeks into school. Confronted her, finally got the truth from her. Then I found out she signed over her rights, gave my little girl up.”
“She can’t just do that. How did she just ... do that?”
“She lied to the right people. Said she didn’t know who the father was, so there was no one to fight her on it.”
“Captain...”
He drops back in his chair. “I went straight to Maybell. She helped me get everything ready so I could bring her home, but Perkins showed up the night before the hearing.”
“Here?”
“Here. He had been collecting shit on us, did some digging, found out some things. Said I’d lose her for good if I tried. Said no court would let her go to a home where we lived with no adults and had a few dozen troubled fuckers on our property. Technically we can’t live how we do, but Maybell makes sure we’re covered there. It was too risky. So I went, took what the court offered when I should have fought harder. They gave me visitation twice a month, fucking supervised until they decide I’m fit to parent.” His laugh is hollow, and I want to cry. “My daughter can’t even meet her uncles.”
I shoot from my seat and move to the other side of the table. I drop onto his lap, aware the other two are watching, aware Maddoc is watching, and run my hand through his hair, until he looks up at me. I don’t care that it seems intimate. He needs this. “You did what you thought you had to be a part of her life. There’s nothing wrong with that,” I whisper.
His hand slides up my leg and I move mine to cover his, squeezing lightly. Deep creases frame his eyes and his nostrils flare. His grip on me tightens.
I slide my hand down the back of his hair, bringing my forehead to his.
“Captain,” I breathe and his shuddered exhale fans across my mouth. When he swallows, I tip his head back slightly so I can softy press my lips to his temple. It’s not much, but something tells me he needs it.
I pull back, my hands sliding down until I’m cupping his cheeks. “Don’t ever feel like you’ve failed her. You didn’t. You made an impossible decision because it guaranteed you a place in her life. It’s what a good man would do.”
He blows out a ragged breath, drops his forehead to my shoulder, nodding against me.
I move back to my seat.
When I glance at Royce, I find him watching me. He winks and cuts his eyes to Maddoc.
I look to my left, but Maddoc’s gaze isn’t on me. He’s frowning at his plate, so I grip his chin and force his stare to mine.
I drop my hand to squeeze his knee, and his shoulders relax a bit.
When I go to finally take a bite, a flash of blonde clicks in my mind. I gasp, my head snapping up to meet Captain’s eyes. “Oh my God!”
“What?” he asks wearily, looking from the boys to me.
“Raven,” Maddoc rumbles unsure.
With a groan, I run my hands down my face. “That was her, wasn’t it?”
First, he frowns and then a grin splits his lips.
“I punched your baby mama, didn’t I?”
The wretched look in his eye disappears, and he starts cracking up, Royce too. But Maddoc’s lip only twitches.
“Aye, yeah.” Royce leans forward. “What made you do that?”
“I saw her look at you guys, saw the guilt in her eyes, watched her watch Captain.” I shrug. “I could tell she deserved it.”
If I’d have known what I do now then, I’d probably be in jail. Taking away a child from a loving parent like that is sick. I don’t care who the person is.
Captain looks down a moment, and when he lifts his head, a fierce glaze comes over his eyes. “She’s mine when I turn eighteen.”
I nod, having expected him to say that next.
“Why did Perkins step in at all, what was the point?”
Captain looks to Royce then Maddoc, who tips his chin. “We’re still trying to figure that one out.”
When Captain glances at Maddoc before dropping his gaze to the floor, I turn to look at him.
“What?”
His eyes shift between mine, tension clouding his features.
“Look.” I pull my legs up on the chair. “You guys started talking first so naturally I have questions, but that doesn’t mean you have to tell me shit. We can keep talking, or we can clean this shit up and go to your little party. It’s whatever.”
“We found old yearbooks in a couple boxes in the rafters out back,” Royce throws out before anyone else has a chance to speak. “There’s a picture of our dads with Perkins and another guy. His arms around his shoulder and they’re smiling. Prom or some shit.”
“Okay... so they knew each other. You think something happened?” I ask and they nod.
“We don’t know anything else. We’ve searched through everything over the last fucking year and found nothing.”
I lick my lips, hesitation pulling at my brows. “When you say you looked through everything. What do you mean?”
“Old files and records, ran
dom shit our dad saved.”
I take a deep breath and stand.
Fuck it.
“Where you going?” Maddoc asks, low and cautious.
“I have something that might help.”
“The fuck does that mean?” Maddoc leaps to his feet. “Have what?”
I don’t answer but run up the stairs, ignoring all their chatter as I do. I dig the binder I stole from Maybell’s out of the back of the closet where I stuffed it when I got here and head back down the stairs.
They jump to their feet when I appear on the stairs, heading back down.
I lift it higher and Maddoc charges for me.
He glares at the item. “What is this?”
“I stole it from Maybell.” I hand it over, but he only stares. “I think it belongs in your guys’ hands anyway. Take it, Maddoc.”
His face turns hard and he locks his eyes on me as he snatches it from my fingers. He lifts it over his shoulder and Royce appears, pulling it from his hand.
Maddoc steps back, and all three stare my way, anxious and angry. Maybe a little unsure.
“What’s in it?” he asks.
“Look for yourself.”
“I asked you a question, Raven.”
I gesture toward the binder. “Bunch of shit, I don’t know.”
“Did you read them?”
“Flipped it open, saw the letter in the front but didn’t read it or anything else in there.”
His jaw locks. “Why should we believe you?”
I look between the three. “You shouldn’t.”
“Raven,” he growls, and it has my spine vibrating as a small slice of fear hits me.
“Look, I know some things I’ve heard from the girls at the house, but I didn’t read anything in there to know if any of it is true.”
“What is it you think you know?” His voice is clipped. “Just say it.”
“Rumor at the house is your parents ran in the same circle, but only your biological dad made it out of a deal gone wrong. He became a father to all of you, but got locked up a few years later.” I tell them the rest of what Victoria told me, about the moms and Maybell caring for them.
“You were just waiting to use this as ammo?”
“Ammo for what, Maddoc?”
Royce flips open the top and starts rummaging, brows furrowed.
“Everything is in here, Maddoc. Birth certificates, hospital records, staffing reports.” He looks to me, but the anger is gone and something I can’t read covers his eyes instead.
Captain and Royce rush from the room with the binder, but Maddoc only stares.
When I start to walk away, he darts to the side to block me.
His eyes burn with an intensity I’ve never seen. I take a few steps back.
“You have had that this entire time and didn’t say anything.”
“I wasn’t sure I should.”
“No.” He creeps closer, shaking his head. “You’ve had that, all our fucked-up secrets, our fucked-up pasts and problems in your hands and you didn’t say anything.”
I can’t argue, it’s true. I should have given it to them the day I got it, yet here we are.
“You didn’t blackmail. You didn’t expose.” His chest is touching mine now. He tilts my head back with a knuckle under my chin. “You held on to it. Why?”
“Nothing in there is anyone else’s business.” My eyes shift between his when he pulls his lips between his teeth. “It’s your lives.”
He tilts his head, his thumb lifting to brush across my bottom lip. His voice is so low I almost don’t hear it.
“Why you always protecting us?” he breathes.
I inhale a choppy breath, shaking my head lightly. I whisper back, “I don’t know.”
He drops his hand and steps back. “I believe you.”
With that, he goes to meet his brothers.
And I stand there, wondering what the hell I’m doing here.
I head for my room.
Pulling the blanket from the bed, I grab my stash from the drawer and drop in the recliner in front of the window. I unlock it and push it open.
I put the joint to my lips and light the tip, puffing lightly as I spin it in my fingers to get a good burn going.
I run over to my door and flip off the light, the moon giving me more than enough light to be comfortable. I plop into the chair again and close my eyes, letting the early December breeze wash over my face as I take a hit.
The joint’s half gone when my door swings open and Royce steps inside.
“Told you no drugs in the house.”
“It’s an herb. And technically it’s legal so, not necessarily a drug.”
He scoffs and moves to sit across from me.
He stares at me a moment too long so I pass the goods and after a second of hesitation, he grabs it and takes a hit.
We sit like that, in the semi-dark, smoking weed, without saying another word.
When it’s too small to grip with our fingers, he puts it out in the soda can we’ve been ashing in.
He steps in front of me and I offer a small smile.
He nods his head, drops down to kiss my hair and walks out.
I watch him go and the second his feet pass the door frame, Captain steps into the doorway. He looks the way Royce disappeared and back to me.
He stares just the same.
“Night, Cap,” I call out, giving him the okay to not say a word. It’s not necessary.
When Cap looks behind him, I know who is coming next.
Captain steps into his room but leaves his door open and Maddoc steps toward mine. He stops to lean on the frame.
He glares at the soda can.
“Come here,” I tell him, and his eyes snap up. “Shut the door.”
He’s slow to move but does as he was told, even doing one better when he bends to scoop me from the chair and deposits me on the bed.
He climbs up, nudging my legs apart so he can rest his between mine, his hands planted near my head to hold him above me.
His eyes are more forest green than jade as he stares down at me.
“Talk,” he demands softly.
“I don’t want to talk, big man.” I run my hands up his biceps, over his shoulders, and into his hair. “I want your mouth on mine. Now.”
A deep rumble makes its way up his throat and his hips lower to meet mine.
When I take a deep breath, the corner of his eyes tighten, and his elbows bend, bringing him closer. He runs his lips across my jaw until he reaches my ear.
“Ask nicely, Raven.”
A chuckle escapes me.
I yank his hair making him growl, bringing his scowl to me. “You’ve got a lot to learn.” I plant my feet flat on the mattress and grind my hips up into him, loving the way his eyes darken by the second. “There’s nothing nice and sweet about me. If you won’t give it...” I whisper, forcing my eyes not to roll back when I swirl my hips against him. I lift my chin. “I’ll just take it.”
With that, I lift to meet his mouth.
He pretends to deny me for a moment, but big man snaps, his need to be in control taking over and in the next second, my hands are removed from his hair and locked beside me.
He pushes into me, rubbing the zipper of his jeans against my thin sweatpants.
My legs fall open wide, hoping more of him will fill the gap.
His mouth moves to my neck where he sucks and nips as he travels down until the fabric of my T-shirt blocks him.
His mouth comes back to mine.
Fucking finally he releases my hands, his need to touch me overtaking his want to keep me still.
His hands push my shirt up slightly, his grip on my ribs almost too much to stand.
I slide my hands over his shoulders, squeezing at his muscles there, before helping guide his mouth over mine.
He bites my lip when I try and turn his head, making me laugh.
Okay, he’s not ready to give me a say.
When his fingertips dig into my b
ack, my legs wrap around his hips, pushing him into me more.
One of his hands curves around me, skimming down my back until he can slip into my bottoms. His fingers spread across my ass cheek and he grips me.
I swallow his groan.
My hands move down to push his shirt up and he lifts for a split second so I can yank it over his head.
When he drops back down a shiver runs through me as his heated skin hits the exposed skin of my stomach and he smirks, his hand moving to slide down the underside of my thigh, adjusting me just the way he wants.
This time, when he grinds into me, my eyes close, my head pushing against the pillow.
“Maddoc,” I pant and he growls, grinding into me, and then the bastard pulls away.
He throws himself beside me and my hands slap against the sheets.
I jerk my head to the side to glare at him, but he’s covering his face with his arm.
“Are you serious right now?” I complain, and he lifts his arm slightly to glare at me before dropping it back down.
I growl and shoot from the bed.
I pull out another joint I pre-rolled and throw myself into the chair.
When the lighter sparks he jerks upright.
“We said no drugs.”
“Yeah, well...” I inhale, turning toward him to blow it out. I glare. “Oops.”
He scoots to the edge of the mattress and I scoff when he shifts to adjust his hard-on in his pants.
I look out the window and after a few minutes of silence my shoulders sag and I drop my head back.
“Raven.” Where before, his demand was imbued with carefulness, this time it’s firm.
Fucking whatever.
I exhale, watching the smoke rise above me before floating out into the night. “How is it, a royal piece of shit like my mother, who hates her daughter, gets to keep me for seventeen years before someone steps in, but someone like Captain, who wants nothing more than to love his child, to hold her every day and show her what she means to him, can’t have his for even a night? How does that happen? How is that acceptable?”
“It’s not.”
I shake my head, unable to forget the way the little girl smiled at her daddy. I blink hard. “The system sucks.”
“Raven.”
“Stop.” I close my eyes, a deep crease taking over my forehead before I can stop it. “Don’t say it.”
Boys of Brayshaw High Page 29