Gus…wow. If this is what mating is about, I’m all in.
I didn’t know what had come over me in the bathroom, but the moment his blood hit my tongue, all of my anxiety over my situation ceased to exist.
“Seriously, Bertram. You should totally do it!”
Bertram tapped his lips with a long index finger. “What do you think, darling?”
“Me? About what?” I asked.
“Dude,” Freddy shouted. “Bertram should totally do a late-night talk show! He can have folks on from the magical community, as well as movie people, there can be other celebrity guests. Hey, we can be the house band, like The Roots!”
There was a lot of chatter and the wheels were turning in my mind. “I’ve wanted to expand the programming. Bertram, what do you think?”
Bertram looked around. “I don’t know. I would love to be like Johnny Carson. He had a lot of class and his guests were top rate.”
I clapped my hands together. “I think it’s a wonderful idea! Shall we film a test episode tonight and see what you think? I can ask Jules to come over.”
* * *
And that’s how we ended up creating a new studio in Cravenly Manor. That night we put together a quick series of teaser commercials using the equipment I had at the house, and we aired them during the following evening’s newscast.
Bertram’s return to show business was big news, spreading quickly through the Assjacket community over the next week. Several of his old friends came by the house to congratulate him, and he seemed to perk up more with each one of the well-wishers.
Mac assured Jules that everything was settled, including my magic—which seemed to be simmering below the surface instead of going wild as long as I was occupied— so she brought over a van full of equipment, including a drum set and guitars that were left behind when we bought the studio.
“Jack wasn’t too happy I was taking the third camera from the news studio, but I assured him that two cameras were enough to feature his good looks. That seemed to stroke his ego.” She shuddered. “That’s all I plan to stroke of that wannabe warlock,” she said with a grimace.
“Wannabe?” Jacob said with a frown.
“Yeah,” she sighed. “He was born of magical parents, but he’s a tad…inadequate.”
I raised my eyebrows at Jules. She knew I always tried to be compassionate about people with magical disabilities, but I understood. Jack compensated for his lack of magical prowess by taking on airs and acting quite arrogant about his looks and his news-gathering, or whatever you called it. I never paid much attention, but Jules had to work closely with him.
The parlor was transformed into a set reminiscent of the Carson-era Tonight Show, but with antique furniture and a roaring fire in the background. Jules was all over the plan. She even mentioned that we had several up-and-coming comedians in town who would love a shot at doing a guest spot.
Gus and the boys, meanwhile, were floored by the instruments.
“You mean to tell me this first-edition Gibson was just laying around?” Gus asked.
I shrugged. “No one had used the station since the sixties, I think? Maybe the seventies. Once the big networks were up and running, Assjacket lost interest, and I heard the Shifter who started K-ASS went on to film horror movies in Hollywood.”
“And this standup bass,” Vinny said. “I can’t even! I love playing old school.”
“This is a sick Ludwig drum set.” Jacob was practically drooling over the kit. It warmed my heart to see my guys so happy.
My guys. I was coming to see them as my guys. Even Jacob, who was supposedly here only to mentor us through our transition, was thrilled to be jamming with the boys. I could tell he was getting just as much out of this time with the guys as they were from him.
He watched me, though, cautiously. As if he thought at any minute, I’d turn into a rabid beast. I hoped he was wrong.
“Wilma, dear,” Bertram said, gesturing for me to join him.
“Yes?”
Bertram glanced at Woodrow, who was sitting in one of the wingback chairs with his hands folded in his lap. “I have an idea. You know how Johnny had Ed McMahon?” He gestured with his head.
“You mean, have him be part of the show? Like a sidekick? That’s wonderful!”
Bertram smiled. “He looks rather forlorn. I think there may be more to his situation than he’s let on.”
“You may be right. I want him to feel welcome. He is my familiar, and I want him to be my partner. I don’t even know how to use a familiar yet, so he may have a lot of downtime.”
“I shall make him an indispensable part of our new media endeavor.” Bertram’s dazzling smile lit up the room. He seemed more vibrant with all of this activity, and I loved that for him. He truly was the person I was closest to in my life…unless you counted Gus.
Oh, Gus. What a dreamboat. Watching him rehearse with the band, plus Jacob on drums, was thrilling. He was dashing, so handsome and talented, and every time he caught my eye and smiled, I melted a little more inside.
But he was so shy. Such a gentleman. I’d heard stories of new mates where, the moment they met, they were instantly hot for each other and looking for the first available surface to get busy. I could tell he wanted me, but even when we were alone, he seemed hesitant. Maybe it was left over from how he was raised in his human life. Whatever it was, I was facing the possibility that I might have to take matters into my own hands.
“So we’ll record the show,” Jules was saying. “And then I’ll edit the footage and we can watch it together. Then you can decide when and if you want to air it.”
Freddy raised his hand, and everyone laughed.
“That’s my move,” I said with a wink.
“Are we going to have, like, hair and makeup? And costuming?”
I nodded. “We can arrange that.”
“Cool, ’cause I want to look my best for the ladies,” he said, sliding his hand through his curly hair and twisting the front to pull into a point on his forehead. He had a similar style to Gus. Vinny, however, had his long black hair pulled into a ponytail that fell halfway down his back. All three of them were striking. They had star appeal, but I only had eyes for Gus.
I gathered them all and we went up the grand staircase and to the right, to my bedroom.
“Whoa! Talk about glamour girl!”
My room definitely looked like a boudoir. Satin and chiffon, fluffy and furry. I’d wished for a room that was soft on the eyes and to the touch. I’d saved some little cherub statues that actually had horns and tails because I thought they were cute, and Freddy and Vinny poked at them while Jacob gave them a hard time. I had shelves of old books along one wall, and an antique secretary to handle all of the house business. The other side of the room, however, contained modern conveniences like a big-TV screen so I could watch W-ASS, and a desk holding my computer and all the tools I needed to forecast the weather.
Well, all of the modern tech was in my room. The house kept many secrets for me.
“I have a lounge through here with a big makeup mirror. Let’s get started.”
Gus stayed close to me, but didn’t touch. I noticed him staring longingly at my bed. It was round and covered with cream-colored satin and a dark plum duvet that was soft as a cloud.
Yes, my love. Soon.
He grinned. Maybe he heard me? Wouldn’t that be delightful?
As a young witch in Germany, I’d dreamed of having a luxurious bedroom and lounge like the ones they showed in old Hollywood movies. When I bought the place and Bertram was giving me a tour, he asked me what I’d always hoped for. I described it in detail and then he’d opened the door. Poof! There it was! The house had already won me over by then, but creating my perfect bedroom? I was in heaven.
Freddy and Vinny sat down on the padded benches in front of my giant mirrors and gawked.
“This is amazing,” Vinny breathed. “You did all this?”
“The house did all this,” I said. “I just wished
for it.”
I took my time with Freddy and Vinny, adding just enough makeup that their features would pop on camera. Freddy kept sneaking looks at Jacob, who was perfectly competent to do his own.
“How’d you learn to do that?” he asked.
Jacob dabbed at his chin with a poofy brush. “In the theater. That’s what I’ve been doing since I’ve been away. Mostly I perform with local theater troupes, but I’ve done a few TV productions and small roles in film.”
“That’s so cool,” Vinny breathed. “Show me how you make your cheekbones look like that.”
And with those two collaborating, and Freddy watching, I was able to move on to Gus. “You ready for your makeover?”
He smiled at me and placed his hands on his hips. “Whatever makes you happy.”
Is it time to make my move? I looked around and took Gus’s hand. “Come with me.”
I led Gus into my spacious closet and closed the door behind us.
“Uh, Wilma? It’s dark in here. Don’t you need light to— Whoa!”
The floor gave a jerk and began to sink.
“What’s happening?” Gus asked.
“One more second,” I said. The floor lowered another few feet, then came to a halt. “Come on.”
“How can you see?” he asked, chuckling. He stumbled and gave a grunt.
“I’m used to the dark already, I guess. You will be too eventually. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Are we underwater?”
“No, silly. You’ll see.”
Dim light filtered into the short corridor we’d entered and I led him forward, toward an arched opening.
He whistled, then he gasped. “Wow.”
We’d entered a glass-walled terrarium. The sky above us was black with glistening stars blinking all around. The moon was a perfect crescent and so bright it filled the room with soft light.
“Welcome to my secret lair.”
Gus took in my special laboratory and all of my ancient weather-predicting equipment with an astonished expression. Telescope, maps, measuring devices…
“This is perfect! It’s a little bit science and a little bit magic. Wow. You amaze me at every turn.”
“Thank you. I’ve collected it for years. Some of it came with me from Germany, but most of it I found here. Since I couldn’t do magic, I had to rely on good old-fashioned meteorological devices.”
Gus stopped at a series of glass globes full of colorful liquid. “What’s this?”
“That’s a Galileo thermometer. The globes rise and fall depending on their density as the temperature changes.”
“And what does this do?”
“Oh, um, that’s an anemometer. They’ve been around since the fourteen hundreds. They measure wind speed and direction.”
Gus smiled at me. “I love your brain. You’re so smart.”
My cheeks grew warm, which was another surprise. If I didn’t have fangs, I’d almost wonder if I had really been Turned. “Thank you. I love science.”
“You make science sexy, amor.”
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me—and this was the kiss I’d been waiting for. He caressed my back as if he couldn’t get close enough. When he nicked me with his fang, we laughed, but it didn’t stop us.
Gus backed me against the glass wall of the terrarium and growled low in his chest. That was all it took for me to hop up into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist. The moonlight caught all of the dramatic shadows on his face, the hollow of his throat. He was incredible.
“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life,” I murmured as he nibbled at my throat.
“Me too,” he breathed.
I giggled.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, pulling back with a frown. His eyes were solid black, but I didn’t fear him. I’d learned to read his moods, and right now he and I had the same emotion front and center.
Lust.
“I’ve been waiting longer than you,” I said.
“I guess you’re right,” he said, squeezing my hips and moaning. “I have a lot of time to make up to you.”
It would be easy to imagine spending all of our time wrapped up in each other. As he ran his hand up my rib cage, magic rippled through my body and orange sparks shot out of my fingertips. Then his thumb brushed the underside of my breast, and we both gasped.
“I’m sorry—”
“Please don’t be sorry,” I said, holding his face in my hands. “You’re my mate. I choose you. You have my consent.”
“Fuck,” Gus groaned. “Consent is so damned sexy.”
He attacked my neck with gusto as he slid his fingers under the waistband of my pants. I pulled at the collar of his shirt, ready to divest him of his clothes, when a loud crash sounded.
I sprang from Gus’s arms, ready to do battle with whomever dared enter my lair. Gus levitated and hovered near me as backup. I appreciated that he didn’t jump in and try to save me. That was what I considered sexy.
“Who’s there?” I called out.
“Wilma? For the Goddess’s sake, I only tried to go to the loo!” Woodrow came crawling out of the water feature in the corner, dusting himself off. “This house is a bloody menace.”
Gus lowered to the ground and we both tried to hide our laughter at Woodrow’s antics.
“Sorry, Woodrow. This is my atrium. I was just, um, showing Gus around.”
Woodrow gave us a haughty look, and I glanced down to see that my clothes were in disarray, and Gus—Goddess help him—had some bleeding scratches on his neck.
“Riiiiiiiight. Anyway, the boys upstairs are ready to film the show.”
Gus shrugged at me. “I don’t know my way around, amor.”
I sighed. My hormones were raging like a hurricane building over an ocean. I feared once Gus and I found alone time, uninterrupted, it would be a maelstrom.
“Come this way,” I said.
Gus snickered as he gestured for Woodrow to go in front of him. Instead of the closet elevator, we took the spiral staircase that led to the wall behind the fireplace. A little nudge and the stone wall split in half. The flames lowered to the ground and we stepped through to the parlor. Once we were inside, the fire roared back to life.
“That’s one way to make an entrance. Perhaps we should use that for the show,” Bertram said joyfully.
Gus turned to wink at me.
Could he be any more perfect?
Chapter Six
Gus
* * *
Making music with my cousins, now that we’d been turned into vampires, was different but familiar, and it was a balm for my soul. Yes, things were wonderful with Wilma, and man, I couldn’t wait to spend the night with her, but I’d been uneasy since we’d set foot in the mansion. Maybe it was the feeling of being watched, maybe it was lingering vampire-transition jitters, maybe it was hormones. But singing my heart off gave me a sense of normalcy and hope. Things were chaotic, but the things that mattered were going swell.
Playing with Jacob felt natural, although with his Shifter and vampire natures working together, we had to remind him that we were playing rockabilly and not speed metal.
“I can’t keep up, dude,” Freddy said. “I’m still figuring out this stand-up.”
“My bad,” Jacob said, twirling a drumstick so fast it was invisible to the eye.
We were almost ready to film the first episode of Bertram’s new late-night talk show and it was a dream come true for all of us. We loved TV, we loved Bert Craven, and got to play whatever we wanted.
Our set list for the first show involved some White Stripes, some Brian Setzer Orchestra, and even an old Jerry Lee Lewis song that allowed me to wail away on the piano.
We decided the theme song would be “Come On, Let’s Go” by our beloved primo, Ritchie Valens. It was the perfect vibe and we agreed that if the show took off like Jules and Wilma thought it would, we’d play another of Ritchie’s song every time.
Jules gave us the cue that it was
time to start filming and we launched into the theme song. I watched Wilma as I sang, and she pressed her hands together in front of her mouth and bounced on her toes. She and Jules whispered to each other behind the camera, and even the stern Cooper’s hawk Shifter was dancing a little as she worked.
The song ended and Jules panned the camera over to Bertram, and man, his smile could have lit up the universe.
“Welcome to Midnight with Bertram Cravenly, Assjacket’s new late-night talk show. I am your host, Bertram Cravenly. Many of you may know me as the former lord of Cravenly Manor, others may recall my film career as Bert Craven, and all of you will become fans of my house band, The Miscreants. Say hello to Gus, Freddy and Vinny. Joining them on the drums is Assjacket’s own Jacob, brother of Mac. Jacob is filling in while the band continues to search for their missing drummer, Havoc. If anyone has information on his whereabouts, please contact K-ASS and leave your information with our receptionist. Now, onto the show!”
We launched into “Wipeout,” which gave Jacob a workout and sounded super fun. I loved watching Vinny wail on the lead guitar while I played rhythm. When we finished, Jules turned the camera on Bertram.
“Thank you, lads. Our first segment of the show will feature letters from our viewers. Since this is our first show, I’m going to share some advice I gave to a spirited comrade recently. One of the ethereal beings who share Cravenly Manor as their permanent residence was asking how to keep their eternal garments looking their best. Appearance is everything, especially in the afterlife, so I always recommend a steam shower followed by a good starch misting and you’ll always look your freshest!”
Freddy and Vinny snickered, and I shot them a look to remind them we were filming. They shut up. It was pretty funny, though. I’d never considered ghosts needing the right look, but it was true. One of the things I admired most about Bertram was his fashion sense and his presence. He was a smart, classy dude, and I was pleased that Wilma had a friend like him.
Fangtastic Four Page 5