by J. L. Leslie
I sigh. “Brynn, I am your friend, but you have to know how badly you hurt Kaler. How coming into Willow’s life and not being a permanent fixture isn’t fair to her. She doesn’t need a mom she’ll only see every few months.”
“That’s not what I’m planning,” she assures me.
“No, now you’re planning to uproot her and turn both her and Kaler’s world upside down. Kaler is going to protect Willow and if that means keeping her from you, then he’s going to do that. It’s going to take a lot to prove to him that you deserve another chance.”
“I’ll file something with the court if I have to. If he doesn’t grant me custody on his own,” Brynn says, determination clear in her tone. “He’s not going to keep her from me any longer.”
I hang up with her, blaming my irritable mood on starting my period this afternoon. I always start on time, thanks to the birth control pills I’ve been on since I was sixteen. I know that isn’t the reason I’m frustrated with her though, but I couldn’t stay on the line arguing with her any longer.
I eat the rest of my sandwich and finish off my beer, somewhat surprised Brynn doesn’t call me back. After channel surfing for a bit, I get up and take a shower. I grab the small overnight bag I’ve been carrying to Kaler’s house and slide on a pair of flip-flops.
I want to be there, and I know he wants me there. There’s no need in pretending that I don’t want to see him when I do. When being with him is the only place I want to be.
I walk the few blocks to his house and slip in the back door. He left it unlocked, just like he said he would. It’s half past nine and his house is quiet already. I put my overnight bag on his kitchen table and go down the hall to his room. I peek in on Willow and see that she’s sleeping soundly before I push open the door to Kaler’s room.
I can see his form lying on his bed. He turns over when he hears me and I slip in beside him, snuggling against his warmth. He covers me up, his arm resting on my side. He places a kiss on my forehead, and I relax against him.
Yes, this is definitely where I want to be.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kaler
I walk down the aisle at the parts’ store, searching for a Cadillac converter for one of the vehicles me and my dad are working on. I have several other things on my list to pick up. I’ve told my dad a dozen times that we need to order online at wholesale prices, but he insists on supporting Chapelwood’s local businesses. Says if he supports them, they’ll support him. I could’ve driven to Birmingham to pick up the parts, but we always check locally for them first.
“This it for you, Kaler?” the store owner, Oscar Millson, asks me.
“Yes, sir,” I reply, putting the basket of items on the counter. “I couldn’t find a Cadillac converter I need for a car at the shop though.”
Oscar nods, “Sorry about that, Kaler. I’ve had to cut back a little and certain parts just aren’t needed.”
“I’m sure we can order it,” I assure him.
“How’s your nanny working out for you?” he questions, catching me off guard.
“I’m sorry?”
“Your nanny? Mrs. Jones said Jenna Winston is your nanny,” he explains. “Said she sees the two of you walking to each other’s houses all the time. I guess it’s good she works flexible hours for you.”
“Um, yeah,” I mumble. “Jenna’s great with Willow.”
“You can tell her if she wants any other babysitting jobs, my niece is usually looking for someone to watch her little rugrats.”
“Will do.”
I pay him and grab my bags. Shit, Mrs. Jones loves running her fucking mouth. Oscar is naïve enough to believe that Jenna is actually my nanny, but no one else in this town would fall for that, especially when she’s telling them we’re walking to each other’s houses all the time.
I know how the people in this town can be. How cruel. How judgmental. When Brynn and I got married, everyone said it was because I’d knocked her up. That wasn’t true. Yet, the whole town gossiped about it.
When we announced she was pregnant, everyone had their opinion about that too. We were too young. We would never make it.
I suppose they were right about that.
Then, Brynn left. She walked away from Chapelwood, from us, and served me with divorce papers. I received sympathetic and pitying looks everywhere I went for months. People felt sorry for me, sorry that I’d lost my wife and that I had an imperfect daughter to raise alone.
If it gets out that I’m sneaking around with Jenna, the people in this town would have a conniption. Yes, she would be accused of being a homewrecker although Brynn and I have been divorced for years. Yes, she would be accused of being a cheater too.
I would be accused of trying to replace Brynn with Jenna. If I can’t have her, I’ll take the next best thing. That’s what Kipton said and that’s what others will think as well.
I’ve never really cared about what the residents in town thought of me, but I don’t want Jenna to be hurt. She deserves better than shameful gossip. Hell, she deserves better than to be my dirty little secret.
Jenna
I wipe down the desks in my classroom, spraying the tops with Lysol before scrubbing them clean. It’s amazing how dirty these desks can get. There are always crayon marks, but today the kids had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at lunch and let’s just say they brought the jelly back with them. I have just enough time to get them wiped down while they’re at P.E. with Coach Dennison.
“Looks like your kids had fun,” Principal Hawkins says, strolling into my classroom.
“They did. I think it’s safe to say the PB&J in the lunchroom is a hit.”
He walks around my room, taking a look at the kids coloring sheets that I have posted on my bulletin board. He leans in close to look at one of them and I realize it’s Willow’s sheet.
“She’s doing really well in here,” I tell him, proud of her. “I had my concerns at first, wasn’t sure how she would handle being in a regular classroom, but she does good. Not on the exact same level as the other kids, but that’s to be expected.”
“What does her dad think about her being in here?” he asks, turning around to face me.
“He seems happy that she’s in a classroom with other children. I think he only wants her to be treated like the others, you know. To be given a fair chance.”
“Is he happy that she’s in a classroom or happy that she’s in your classroom?”
I walk over to the garbage can and toss the soiled paper towels inside it. “I think he’s happy that she’s being treated like the other kids, no matter which classroom she’s in.”
“Ms. Winston,” Principal Hawkins says condescendingly. “Jenna. There have been some concerns from the other parents. Concerns that you might be holding the class back in order to allow Willow to catch up.”
I furrow my brow. “Why would anyone think that? I would never do that.”
“There’s some gossip going around about you spending a little too much time with Kaler Holt. That your relationship with him could be affecting your judgment here.”
I shake my head. “That’s not true. We’re not in a relationship.”
Even as I deny this, it sounds like a lie. Like a bold-faced lie. We may not share our relationship with everyone else, but we are definitely in one.
“Jenna, I’ve seen you with him. While I have no problem with it, the parents who have children in this classroom do. They want me to remove Willow and put her with an aide. I’m going to hold a meeting to hear out the parent’s concerns.”
“I’m sorry? They want you to remove her from my class and put her where exactly? We don’t have an empty classroom just waiting for an aide to work with our special needs children. In fact, Chapelwood Elementary doesn’t have a special needs class at all!”
I see his jaw clench so I know I’ve struck a nerve. If he were to move Willow out of my room, she would essentially be homeschooled. His suggestion for an aide would be someone who tutore
d her away from Chapelwood Elementary altogether.
“Chapelwood Elementary prides itself on being the best in the state! No other school has ever beaten our test scores or academics and I refuse to allow that to change so that you can cater to your boyfriend’s retarded daughter!”
I’m stunned by the harshness and hatefulness of his tone. “Principal Hawkins, I am happy to educate you and anyone else on the differences between mental retardation and Down Syndrome. It’s clear you don’t know the difference! And if the parents have an issue with the way I handle my classroom then I’m happy to address that at your meeting. As far as moving Willow out of my room, I have no plans to do that and I can assure you, her father doesn’t either.”
“It’s not up to you, Ms. Winston,” he snips. “In fact, you’re lucky to be employed here. Your reputation of being an alcoholic precedes you and aside from your issues with the bottle, it’s clear your promiscuous as well.”
“Good thing it isn’t up to you either,” I remark, narrowing my eyes at him. “Mr. Holt and Willow have rights and I’ll be sure to tell them that. As for me being lucky to be employed here, I’m pretty sure the teacher who held this position before me is the one who’s lucky I’m here. After all, she was the one being prejudiced against a minority student. I suppose she isn’t the only one who feels that though. What word did she use? Oh yeah, “mongoloids” shouldn’t be in this school. I would bet that she isn’t the only employee who feels that way.”
He stomps out of my classroom, clearly aggravated with me, but I’m just as pissed off with him. He accused me of being an alcoholic and sleeping around! Neither are any of his damn business!
I finish cleaning up and get ready for my kids to come back in, doing my best to tamper my anger. I’m not sure how to tell Kaler about this or how to fix it for him, but I’ll do everything I can.
I know there’s a possibility I’ll lose him, but if it means protecting Willow, I’ll do whatever I have to. I won’t allow Willow to be mistreated because of my indiscretions.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kaler
I put the bags I’m carrying onto the table and tell my daddy I couldn’t get the part we needed. I suggest again that we start ordering online while I take the items out and put them away.
“I promised Herman I’d have that car ready by Monday afternoon,” he says, clearly frustrated. “You think you can run and pick up the part this weekend? If we can’t get it in Birmingham, I know there’s a new supplier over in Westmont.”
I don’t mention to him that I’m already planning to be in Westmont this weekend. I’m planning to check out the mechanics shop at Thompson Ford like Mr. Franke asked me to. Tauren is supposed to watch Willow for me.
“I don’t see why that would be a problem,” I say, and he nods.
“Your mama told me to send you by the house when you got back,” he lets me know. “You can knock off early.”
It’s almost quitting time anyway, so I take him up on his offer and head to their house so I can talk to her before I go pick up Willow. I find her in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on some sweet tea.
“I’ll take some of that,” I tell her and find me an empty glass. I put some ice in it and gulp half the tea down in one sip.
“Help yourself,” she smiles. “And while you’re enjoying my tea, you can tell me all about your new nanny.”
The way she says “nanny” indicates she didn’t fall for that line. Not one bit. I’m not surprised she saw through the charade, but I don’t know that I’m ready to confess yet.
“Jenna does great with Willow,” I reply.
“I’m sure she does. All the ladies at church are wanting to put dibs in for her to babysit.”
I chuckle, unable to hide my reaction. “They’ll have to ask her.”
My mama swats me with a dishtowel. “Boy, you know good and well that girl ain’t your nanny! The two of you have the gossip mills running though and I don’t know how much longer I can keep denying that you’re having sex with your ex-wife’s best friend! Jesus, Kaler, what were you thinking? She has a boyfriend for God’s sake.”
I stand up from the table and deposit my empty glass into the sink. “First off, don’t say “sex,” Mama. I’m sure you and daddy still do that, but I don’t want to hear that word come out of your mouth again. Secondly, I was thinking that it’s nobody else’s damn business what I do!”
She catches up to me before I can storm out. “Now, you listen to me. I only want what’s best for you and Willow and if Jenna Winston is it, then so be it, but sneaking around like you’re ashamed of it will only make that dirty secret that much juicier to talk about. You can’t hide things in Chapelwood, son, and when you do, it makes you look guilty as sin.”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “We didn’t plan any of it, it just happened. And you know how this town is. People will talk regardless of what we do!”
“Well, give something to talk about then, son.”
She smiles and leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek. I leave my parents’ house with my mind made up. No more sneaking around. No more hiding how I feel.
I’m falling for Jenna and I don’t give a shit who knows it.
Jenna
I smile politely up at Abigail Loughlin while she explains her concerns for my classroom. How she’s pleased Mr. Hawkins is giving the parents an opportunity to speak out. How she fears her little boy is not learning all he can because of my teaching methods and favoritism.
Her words, not mine.
Her son, Isaiah, plays happily with Willow on the rug, the two of them building a house out of building blocks and neither of them having a care in the world. I’m sure his grandmother, Mrs. Colson, would have a fit that he’s interacting with Willow right now. After all, she did call her a mongoloid and that God-awful word is a highly offensive and out-dated term used for someone with Down Syndrome.
“Mrs. Loughlin, I appreciate that you wanted to stop by in person and discuss your concerns. I typically prefer that an appointment is scheduled when I meet with parents, but since you’re here, let me ease your mind,” I tell her, sugar practically dripping from my voice. “My class is currently on target with the Alabama curriculum I’ve been provided. I do not show favoritism in this class, as all of the children are treated equally, including those with different learning needs. Those with different learning needs are not punished for the areas they need improvement in but are simply allowed to learn in their own time.”
“We both know you only have one kid in here with “different learning needs” and it’s not fair to the rest of the class. You’re not even qualified to teach those kinds of kids.”
I take a deep breath, managing to sound nice when I respond. “I have my degree just like every other teacher at this school. I don’t discuss which children in my class have different learning needs, but did you receive the letter I sent you regarding Isaiah’s needed improvement on the alphabet?
Her face pales a moment, but she continues on her tirade against Willow. “Like I said, it’s not fair to the rest of the class that they be subjected to those kinds of kids.”
“What exactly is not fair to the rest of the class, Mrs. Loughlin? All of the children in my class get along greatly.”
“It’s not fair that they’re expected to interact with her, be friends with her. She shouldn’t be in this classroom because she’s not like everyone else and trying to force her differences on the other children is not right!”
I stand up from my desk, my hands shaking. Willow and Isaiah are both staring at us now, Abigail’s shouts causing them to be curious.
“You know, Abigail, I seem to remember a girl in my senior class who was quite different than everyone else,” I say, my voice low. “How she liked to hide food in the strangest places, like the girls’ bathroom and locker room. Apparently, her mother thought she had an eating disorder. She would sneak around eating the foods her mother would not allow her to eat at home and then fo
rce herself to throw it up before school let out.”
Abigail’s face turns a deep shade of red. “This is different.”
“It’s not any different and I suggest you think long and hard about what you say or do next, Abigail Loughlin, because I can guarantee this isn’t a fight you want to challenge me on.”
She stomps off, snatching Isaiah by the arm and practically dragging him from my classroom. He hollers goodbye to Willow as he’s pulled through the doorway.
I go to the rug and sit down, needing to calm down some. I pick up a couple of blocks and ask Willow what color they are. She’s been doing very well learning her colors and points out the pink, red, and blue block perfectly.
“We’ve been working on green and yellow at home,” Kaler informs me, walking into my room.
“She knows almost all of them,” I say. “She knows her letters and numbers too.”
“She has a great teacher,” he grins, and I smile back at him although he can probably tell it’s a fake smile. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Just a conversation with one of the parents that has me pretty much questioning how good of a teacher I am,” I admit and get up, carrying some blocks with me to put them away. Willow follows suit, dumping the blocks into the container without me having to ask her to.
“I bet I can cheer you up,” Kaler offers.
“Well, I’m on my period, so you won’t be cheering me up the way I prefer.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “I know other ways to cheer you up, Jenna. I’ll follow you to your house so you can drop your car off.”
“Kaler, that’s probably not a good idea. Mrs. Jones will see you and I honestly can’t deal with trying to sneak around right now.”
He picks up Willow and gives me a wink. “Let her. People in this town are going to talk and I was told I should give them something to talk about.”
“Sounds absolutely scandalous,” I tease, my mood lightening, and he gives me a peck on the lips.