by Emma Creed
With one hand firmly wrapped around her neck, Chop continues to rape Carly until her face turns blue. His grip becoming tighter and tighter as it slowly crushes the life from her body.
I hold Maddy closer, keeping her pressed against me so she can’t change her mind and watch the horror for herself. I cover her ears with my hands to try and muffle out sounds that are all too familiar to me. Spluttering coughs and gags, desperate gulps for breath, and then for the briefest of moments, groans when the fight comes back.
Carly’s hands push and scratch at Chop, and although I already know how this ends, I still pray that somehow she’ll get away.
She fights, hard, but he responds by ramming himself into her harder.
“There, you like that,” he speaks to her.
“See… I always knew there was a dirty girl hidden underneath that cute little smile. You just needed me to bring it out of ya.”
Carly shakes her head, defeated by his strength, her arms flopping beside her signaling that she’s reached that place. If the camera had been a few inches closer, I’d see it. Pleading eyes silently begging for death to hurry and come, followed by that flicker of relief as the lights dim from behind them.
Carly’s body sags heavily, drained of any life, and the sick fuck continues to thrust inside her. When he releases her neck, and her head slumps forward, he pins it back to the wall pressing his forehead hard against hers.
“I gave you chance after chance, I told you one day I’d have you for myself. It didn’t have to be like this. But you thought you were too good for me.” He speaks to her as if she can still hear him.
“And look at you now, no more special than the others.” His body spasms, and he moans as he finishes inside her. His heavy body propping up her lifeless one.
“You never even gave us a chance,” he tells her. “Helen, Mary-Ann, I destroyed them all. I never wanted to break you too.” An evil laugh escapes his mouth as he takes her body in his arms and lays her out on the floor beside the sofa, pulling her skirt back in to place and with a grunting laugh he looks down at her like she’s nothing.
“Skid’s perfect old lady,” he says to himself. “Will you look who fuckin’ owns you now, bitch.” He steps over her body and disappears from the camera's view.
He doesn’t leave straight away, shuffling around the cabin for a few minutes, before finally, I hear the door closing and tires screech off. Then there’s nothing, just the sound of wind chimes.
I slam the laptop shut and kneel in front of Maddy.
“It's over now,” I tell her, keeping her so tight to me I worry I might crush her. Her sobs don’t stop, and all I can do is hold her, while pure anger builds in the pit of my stomach and spreads through my body.
Mary-Ann? I heard him say her name. Wondered if he meant Prez’s old lady, Hayley’s mom? I can’t make any sense of it.
“He raped her,” Maddy manages between snuffles. “She was his brother’s wife, and he raped her and then…”
“Ssssh I know. We’ll get him, he’ll pay.” Part of me wants to toss the footage, pretend I never saw it, but where would the justice in that be. I have no idea how I’m gonna tell Skid, one of the nicest guys I know, that his own brother just raped the love of his life. But he has to know so he can see Chop off on his journey to hell.
“I was right there Jessie. I was sleeping.”
“You couldn’t have done anything, Chop would have hurt you too and Christ, Mads, the fact he didn’t is about the only thing that’s keeping me together right now.” I kiss her hair not daring to imagine what I’d be capable of doing if anyone tried hurting her like that.
“She was so happy. She was gonna tell Skid about the baby, and now her last memory was him… it’s unbearable to think about, Jessie.” My girl crumbles in my arms all over again, and there is nothing I can do or say to fix her.
I sniff at her hair hoping to feel that calm she usually brings me, but it doesn’t come, and so I carry Maddy back to our room and tuck her into our bed. I place a kiss on her cheek, and let the taste of her tears touch my lips.
“I need to call Prez,” I tell her, and her eyes don’t pull away from the spot on the wall she’s focusing on when she nods her head. “I’m gonna be in the next room. You need anything?” Her head shakes a no but her eyes still don’t move, and I can feel her slipping further and further away from me.
“Mads. You know this means none of this was your fault. It wasn’t the Bastards, they weren’t looking for you. This was…” Who am I kidding, I have fuck all clue what this is. “This ain't on you, Maddy.” I untwine my hand from hers and leave her with her thoughts, waiting until I’m out of earshot before I pull out my cell and call Prez.
“What's up?” he answers.
“You need to come to my cabin. Alone…” I tell him and hang up before he can argue. Sure, he’s dealing with the unimaginable himself, but after the shit I’ve just seen, we’re gonna need him to be a fucking leader and pull us the right way out of this mess.
Prez gets to me in less than ten minutes, and I waste no time showing him why he’s here. Sitting him at the table, I hit the play button and lean against my kitchen counter, intentionally making sure I’m the other side of the screen this time. I watch his face turn white, and his eyes flare with the same shock and anger as mine.
“Fuck.” Prez rub’s his hand through his beard when he’s done, and I wait in silence, giving him the chance to take in for himself what he’s just seen.
I hand him a beer from the fridge, and he takes a mouthful before looking up to ask if I got anything stronger.
“What we gonna do? This is gonna destroy Skid.” I reach into the cupboard and take out a bottle of Bourbon, pulling out the cork with my teeth I place it in front of him.
“Why though? Why would he risk running into the feds to come back here?” Prez asks taking a long swig, then lights up a cigarette. I don’t tell him that I’ve stopped smoking in the house since Maddy moved in, it’ll make me sound like a fuckin’ pussy.
“He sounded like he was looking for something when he first came in. He asked where it was. Maybe he came back for something important?” Second time around I’d paid more attention to his words.
“Yeah, but what?” Prez asks, then takes a long drag of his smoke. And I wonder if he’s missed the Mary-Ann mention through shock or if he’s choosing to ignore it for now.
“We're gonna have to ask Skid. Chop didn’t rush off, he was there for a while after, maybe he found whatever it was. Skid may be able to figure out what’s missing.” Prez points out.
“You realize once Skid finds out about this, Chop better hope the feds get to him before he does.”
“Son, Chop took one of our own. Carly wasn’t just Skid’s wife, she was our family. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a dead man running. We make sure we get to him before the feds do. Tear him apart piece by piece, and then Skid can shit down his throat.”
I couldn’t put it better myself.
“Send out word I want everyone around the table at three today, everyone needs to be there… no excuses.”
“You got it.” I take out my cell, bring up the group message and type out a text to everyone with Prez’s orders.
“It’s done. What do we do now?” I ask, though I already know what has to come next and I’m not looking forward to it one bit.
“Right now, we grab our fuckin’ dicks and go tell Skid what happened to his wife.” Prez stands up and takes a long swig of the bottle. “And I think we’re gonna need a whole lot more of this shit,” he says, slamming it back on the table.
When I check on Maddy she’s sleeping, so I call Nyx to come wait at mine. Then together, me and Prez go to find Skid.
He isn’t at home or at the club, so we check the garage. Rolling up the door and letting daylight into the dark space, we find him. He’s propped up against a Snap-on toolbox, overalls on, and an empty bottle in his hand. He doesn’t respond to our intrusion, not even raising his eyes off t
he ground when we both move and stand in front of him.
“You got some fuckin’ balls getting in my space, Jessie. You shipped that fucking bitch of yours out of here yet?” he asks, raising his head and finding me with dark, hate-filled eyes. Prez takes hold of my wrist to prevent me lunging forward, with a look that reminds me what he’s been through and what we’re about to tell him. And it prevents me grabbing a spanner and lobbing his face with it.
“Skid. It wasn’t the Bastards who killed Carly,” Prez tells him, letting go of me steadily.
“Bull-fuckin’-shit. I always knew you were soft when it came to the kid, Jimmer. But to be standing up for his bitch now too? Come on. You’re losing your touch, old man.” Skid goes to stand, but Prez squats down to his level and pushes his shoulder back down.
“Stay there a second and listen to me,” he tells him. “You heard from your brother?”
“No, and what the fuck’s that got to do with the fact we're still protecting the hacking bitch?”
“There anything you think your brother would need or want that he might come back here for?” Prez asks.
“No, what the fuck’s this about?” Skid looks confused, and Prez looks up at me like he’s run out of words. The silence is deafening and running real thin as Skid’s eyes roam between Prez and me. “Does someone wanna give me a clue into what the fuck is going on here? Have you heard from chop? Is he okay?” His sudden panic makes me feel sick, he’s worried something has happened to his wife raping brother.
“Chop came back,” I tell him swallowing the lump in my throat.
“Fucking idiot, he must have heard what happened… wants to be here for me. I got to tell him I’m fine, get him back on the road before the feds get a sniff that he's back.” Prez stops him from getting to his feet for a second time. Leaving his hand rested on his shoulder as he speaks, his eyes closed, no doubt because he knows he won’t want to see the look in Skid’s eyes when he’s finished saying what he has to say.
“Chop came back the night Carly was mur… taken.” I watch as Skid’s eyebrows draw together with confusion. “He was the one who took her, brother. I’m sorry.” Prez’s voice is raw with pain, and there’s no going back now. The words have been said, they’re out there whirling around us in the air just waiting to be taken in.
“Fuck,” Skid laughs. “Does she mean that fucking much to you? You would protect that bitch over family? Come on, Prez, why you protecting her? It was the Bastards, they came for Maddy, and they took my Carly.” He’s up and on his feet, his finger pointing into Prez’s face. “Chop's laid his ass on the line for this club for eighteen god damn years, me too since I’ve been old enough, and you’d put protecting her over us?” Prez takes Skid’s anger without flinching, and I can tell he’s lost for what to say next, so I step in.
“He’s telling the truth, Skid. It was Chop. He killed her and he…”
“Jessie,” Prez warns me, but he knows as well as I do that Skid has to know.
“And he raped her, and we know this because we just had to fucking watch the whole thing.” A long silence falls after my words.
“It was all recorded on Maddy's laptop,” I whisper, regretting my words instantly.
“No…” Skid shakes his head as he stumbles backwards and crashes into the toolbox. “You’re lying. He would never… he loves her... he loves me. Sure, we fight, disagree a lot, but we’re brothers. He wouldn’t.”
“Jessie’s telling the truth,” Prez tells him. “I’ve seen the video myself.”
“You’re trying to tell me that my brother, r-r-r…” he stutters, taking a breath, unable to get the words out past his lips. “Raped and then killed my wife?” his voice breaks through tears.
“I wish we weren’t,” Prez says.
Skid lifts his head and looks at me, eyes bulging with rage and nostrils flaring like they might flame.
“Show me.”
“That’s not a good idea, you don’t want to see that, brother.” I shake my head, recalling the sinister brutality of what Chop has done.
“You show me that fuckin’ video.” Skid’s finger points between my eyes, and I’m about to argue back. I love Skid like a brother, and for that reason I can’t let him watch that fucking video. But Prez’s arm slaps at my chest.
“Jessie, go get the computer,” he says keeping his eyes on Skid.
“But Prez…” I try to argue, Prez must have lost his fucking mind.
“He needs to see it for himself” he explains, defeated.
“Fine, but I’ll warn you now, Skid, you can’t unsee what’s on that video,” I warn, before I leave and ride up to my cabin. Nyx is sat on my couch drinking a beer and watching TV when I walk in and grab Maddy's laptop from the table. He tells me she’s fine, but I check in on her anyway. Then making my way back down to the garage I prepare to ruin Skid’s life beyond any possible repair.
Skid sits at the desk in the small office at the back of the garage, and I set up the laptop in front of him, still not entirely convinced that this is a good idea. As soon as I hit play, I move to the opposite side of the desk, noting how Prez moves to stand beside me too. Probably for the same reason.
Carly’s sweet, excitable voice fills up the room, and Skid’s face automatically brightens when he sees her face on the screen. A sad smile tugging on his lips when she talks him through the memory of the first time they met.
There are no smiles from me and Prez though, we know what’s coming, and we also know it’s gonna destroy him. Right now he thinks he’s lost everything, in a few seconds he’s gonna realize that he’s lost a whole lot more. Watching his face is like watching the video for the first time all over again. She tells him he’s gonna be a dad, and his fingers shake as they reach out and touch the screen. His eyes filling up with tears, like in that moment he’s forgotten that she’s gone.
When I hear Chop in the video, I have to give him one more chance to back out.
“Skid, man you sure?” I check, and when his eyes flick up to mine, I know there’s no way he’s not gonna watch on.
I try to focus on something else as the sounds comes out of the speaker. Prez moves and leans next to me on the glass windows that separates the office from the garage that the two brothers have kept together for years. We watch on as all Skid’s pain turns to anger. The tears in his eyes dry, and after we hear the smug laugh that we know Chop lets out when he’s standing over Carly's body followed by, “who fuckin’ owns you now bitch?”
Skid snaps.
He pushes the table across the room as he stands up from the chair.
“Motherfucker,” he roars, grabbing one of the filing cabinets and crashes it to the floor. Ripping open the door he storms into the garage, and like a tornado he destroys everything that stands in his path. He’s lost his shit, and who can blame him after everything he ever cared about has been taken by his own blood.
How can anything ever be the same again?
When Jessie comes home I know he’s told Skid, and the thought of him having to hear what had happened to Carly breaks my heart.
We only have a short time together before Jessie has to go again. Prez called church and I guess that’s where everyone will find out about Chop’s betrayal.
The emptiness I feel when Jessie isn’t with me is unbearable, and it’s even worse now I don’t have Carly. Nyx is always close by, but he never really speaks to me. He’s far too wrapped up in his own head.
I have no one except for Jessie, he’s quickly become my everything and I feel myself needing him more and more as each day passes. It scares me that I’m losing myself, and I can’t help thinking what Hayley would tell me to do if she was still here.
I can’t let myself slip away. I need a purpose, a distraction from all the shit that’s happened lately. Sure, I’m young and I don’t have the life experience that the people around here do. But there is one thing I can do, something I’m not just good at, that I kick ass at.
Armed with a computer I can creat
e just as much havoc as any Dirty Soul can. The Bastards killed my best friend, forced my mother to hiding. Tobias Saunders has taken another friend from me, and I’m going to make sure they all get nothing less than what they deserve.
Violence has always been something I’ve avoided at all costs. It scared me about Jessie at first, but I’m learning to deal with it. Whoever Jessie is when he was with them doesn’t matter, because when he’s with me he’s my Jessie. The caring, loving Jessie with a soft heart who would do anything to keep me safe.
Jessie is right, the club needed to take care of this their way and despite me knowing that it means violence, I’m prepared to do whatever I can to help them. All Tobias Saunders and the Bastards can do now is sit tight and wait. Justice is coming for them and I have every reason to believe that it’s gonna be brutal.
Jessie gets home from church just after five and I can tell straight away that although his mind is exhausted, his body needs release. I want so badly to give it to him, but he still sees me as fragile. He’ll be gentle for me, but I don’t want this to be for me. I want it to be for him.
Gentle isn’t what he needs right now.
I’m not what he needs right now.
Jessie doesn’t say a lot, he eats the meal I’ve prepared for him and then takes a shower. He looks shocked when he comes out of the bathroom and finds me waiting with the list of names I found in his jeans pocket a few days ago when I was doing laundry. I try not to be distracted by how hot he looks wearing just a towel when he comes straight at me and snatches it from between my fingers.
“Are these the people you hurt?” I ask him.
“That’s club business, ain’t for you to worry about, darlin’.” Wet drips fall from his hair onto my chest when he dips his head to kiss my forehead.
“Maybe you should get out of here tonight, you could cross another name off that list,” I shrug casually. I want him to understand that I accept him and the things he needs.