Her smile widened a little more. “What are you guys doing for Christmas?”
“Me and Cherise and her boyfriend will probably have lunch at the house. Why?”
“Why don’t the three of you come over to our place? It was just going to be us. The four of us, I mean. Jesse and Leo are going to attempt to deep-fry a turkey for the first time in the backyard, and…” She stopped. “Sorry.”
It took everything he had not to start laughing at how adorably horrified she looked. He had immediately followed her train of thought, only he hadn’t derailed the way she had, and he wouldn’t deny the sadist in him enjoyed her discomfort just a tiny bit.
That she was so concerned about his feelings touched him deeply. “I think that’s a great idea,” he said. “I’ll make sure Cherise and Wade are all right with it.”
Her smile returned and she picked up her fork to start on her salad. “Great.”
By the time he took her home that night, he hadn’t pressed any further about her dad, but if he wasn’t right in his guesses, he was really slipping.
Only time would tell if she’d trust him enough to let him in that deeply.
But he could wait. He was a very patient man.
He had to be. He’d raised Cherise.
Chapter Eleven
“Mommy, mommy, mommy, Santa came!” Laurel had nearly landed right in the middle of Eva’s stomach, bouncing, before she vaulted from her bed, left the bedroom door open, and ran down the hall, where she pounded on Jesse and Leo’s bedroom door before running in and screaming at them.
I’m awake.
Eva lay there, eyes wide open now, and stared at the ceiling. From the light, it couldn’t be any later than seven-ish.
A moment later, she heard Laurel, jabbering non-stop and at light speed, and then her daughter dragged a half-asleep Leo down the hall behind her past Eva’s now-open door.
She sat up when Jesse leaned against her doorframe.
“Did you hear?” he mumbled. “Santa came. I hope he wore a condom. That glitter is a bitch to get out of the carpet.”
She laughed. She was a seasoned veteran of the Christmas morning present massacre. Poor Jesse wasn’t a morning person, and he and Leo had been up late the night before assembling a doll house that had been on Laurel’s Christmas list.
Normally they didn’t go too crazy at Christmas, opting for smaller gifts and one large one, meaning the budget didn’t get blown. This year, they made an exception. Jesse’s first with them, a celebration of Leo’s survival, and the drastic change in circumstances for them all warranted more of a celebration than Eva and Leo usually engaged in.
Eva dragged herself out of bed and pulled on a bathrobe. Leo had been wearing a T-shirt and shorts, while Jesse now wore flannel sleep pants and a robe, but no shirt. Leaning against him, their arms around each other’s waists, they made their way down the hall, through the living room, and to the kitchen.
“Coffee,” they both mumbled, laughing.
“Mommy! Poppa!” Laurel yelled from the living room. “Daddy said I can’t open presents until you’re out here!”
“Coffee first, honey,” Eva said, handing Jesse the bag of flavored coffee after he got a new filter installed. “Coffee always comes first.”
“Because coffee’s just rude in the sack like that,” Jesse mumbled.
“Fine,” Laurel huffed.
“Fine,” Jesse softly mocked as he scooped the coffee, making Eva giggle harder.
“I don’t have to wait for Uncle Nate to get here, do I?” Laurel called out.
Jesse bumped Eva with his hip. “No, sweetheart,” he called back. “Just give me and Mommy a minute to make the coffee.”
“Fine,” Laurel huffed.
“Fine,” Jesse and Eva said together, giggling.
He really was like a little brother in many ways. The little brother she would have loved to have known.
Her younger half-brother by birth, she’d never met. He didn’t even know she, or her two half-sisters she’d been raised with, even existed.
When they were finally settled out in the living room, Jesse taking Leo a cup of coffee, Laurel looked like she was about to bounce out of her Hello Kitty nightgown. Leo had turned on the TV to the morning news and looked half asleep himself.
“Okay,” Leo said. “We’re all here.”
Jesse grabbed his cell phone and took video and pictures of the day while Laurel handed out the stockings and presents.
There were even a couple of presents under the tree for Nate, Cherise, and Wade. Some gourmet chocolate and coffee Eva hoped they’d enjoy.
Nate had been over to the house several times during the past few weeks, eating dinner with them. And she’d gone to the club with him a couple of times on Friday nights, enjoying that he went only to work with and spend time with her, not others. He still went a few Saturday nights without her while she stayed at home with Laurel and Leo and Jesse went to the club, but she was okay with that.
Being with him felt right. And that she hadn’t rushed things with him sexually felt even more right.
Even her counselor agreed with her, encouraged her current progress.
Nate had not once tried to rush or pressure her, either.
Her parents had invited her and Laurel to drive up to Tampa for Christmas dinner, but Eva declined. Not if her father was going to be there. Not at their house, in enemy territory, so to speak.
The place she’d suffered the most, which held the worst memories for her.
She fibbed and said they’d already accepted an invitation to have dinner with close friends…only a partial lie. That they’d been the ones doing the inviting didn’t need to be discussed.
And also left no entry for her mother to try to suggest they could all come down there to eat.
No, she wasn’t ready to deal with that and fight that battle head-on yet, and she didn’t have to. The counselor told her that if she didn’t think any current crimes were being committed, then no, she had no moral obligation to anyone other than herself.
And herself wanted nothing to do with the fucker, even if it was to confront him.
Today, she wanted to enjoy the holiday. Last year had been a tense morning with Leo coming over to the house and having a small lunch with them, just the three of them, Laurel fortunately oblivious to the adults’ discomfort. Either that, or they were just that good of actors and didn’t know it.
This year, nothing was forced about Eva’s happiness. She was happy for Leo and Jesse, and they loved the personalized “First Christmas” ornament she’d bought for them for their tree.
A live tree the four of them had picked out together and brought home and decorated.
Their pack.
And they’d given Laurel a necklace much like the ones Jesse and Eva wore, with the same kind of tag with a purple background, her favorite color. The tribal fish pattern, with the three adults’ initials on the back. And Leo had bought one for himself, too, in black.
“Now we all match!” Laurel delightedly said as Eva put it on for her. “Our pack matches! Aah-ooooh!” She threw her head back like a little wolf, making the adults smile.
If only she knew, Eva thought.
As the three of them—and Laurel—got lunch prepared, the house started filling with the delicious aromas of a feast in the making. Once Nate arrived a little after ten, Eva felt the day was perfect. When Cherise and Wade arrived shortly before noon, it got even better as Cherise showed off her new engagement ring.
Soon thereafter, the men all gathered in the backyard and contemplated the instructions for cooking the bird.
“I’m glad Wade’s a paramedic,” Eva only half-joked to Cherise.
Cherise stood there on the lanai with a smile. “Me, too. Don’t worry. I don’t know about those two, but Nate’s pretty handy with instructions.”
They watched as the men put the thawed bird in the pot and partially filled it with water. A few minutes later, they were firing up the propane cook
er and setting the pot with pre-measured oil on the burner. They’d dried and spiced the turkey and resubmerged it in the oil once the temperature was right.
Jesse stood back, fire extinguisher ready, just in case.
Fortunately, nothing bad happened.
Eva let out a relieved breath. “It’s not that I don’t have faith in them,” she said, “but they are men.”
Laurel tsked at her. “Mommy. Daddy and Poppa are good cooks. So is Uncle Nate.”
Laurel, who usually got to help prepare meals, had been extremely indignant that she wasn’t allowed into the backyard to help by a unanimous vote of the adults.
“Sorry,” Eva said, sharing a wink with Cherise. “My bad.”
* * * *
Nate was glad Cherise had agreed to the change in their usual plans. It wasn’t too much of a change, because she and Wade were going to Wade’s parents later for supper.
Yes, Wade had popped the question the night before, and Cherise had called Nate soon after to crow about it and only scolded him a little bit for keeping the secret from her for several weeks.
This was a season of changes. Cherise building her life, and now he was left to reform his once again, picking up where he’d left off at the age of twenty-one.
Trying to yank himself out of his rut and into new routines wasn’t easy for him, but he was trying.
Eva, and Laurel, were worth trying for. He knew the odds of him ever having a child of his own at his age were getting slimmer all the time. The closer he grew to Eva, the more he hoped this would end up being permanent. Laurel’s feisty ways reminded him so much of Cherise at her age, it was nice having a child in his life again, even if it meant having to watch what he said around her.
His friendship with Jesse and Leo had deepened as well. If he’d had brothers, he hoped this is how it would have been. Jesse seemed happy about it, too, after several holidays alone because of his family disowning him.
That boggled Nate’s mind, that someone in this day and age could be so small-minded.
After Wade and Cherise left, they had A Christmas Story playing on the TV. Laurel was asleep, sprawled on the living room floor, a new My Little Pony figurine clutched in her hand. Nate was stretched out on one end of the couch with Eva lying against him, her feet in Leo’s lap on the other end. Jesse sat on the floor in front of the couch, leaning against Leo’s legs.
The symbolism wasn’t lost on Nate. The men had to innocently slip in their kink where they could. Jesse was Leo’s slave, and it wasn’t like the man could kneel naked on the floor with a seven-year-old running around.
“This was the best Christmas ever,” Jesse softly said, blindly reaching up to first pat Eva’s arm, and then Nate’s leg, Jesse’s other arm looping around Leo’s leg next to him. “Thank you, all of you.”
She reached over with her bare foot and lightly ruffled Jesse’s hair. “Thank you,” she said. “And you know why.”
That intrigued Nate, but he didn’t ask. If she wanted to tell him, she would.
Eva tipped her head back and looked up at him. “Thank you for coming over today.”
He leaned in and kissed her. “Thank you for having us over. This was great.”
And it was. He could, in all honesty, say this was the best Christmas he’d had since…
Since that day.
Eventually, Leo and Jesse got Laurel put to bed and retreated to their bedroom, leaving Eva and Nate alone in the living room.
Eva rolled onto her side, facing him, and looked up. “You know how you talked about more intimate play?”
He laced fingers with her, drawing her hand up to his lips to kiss it. “Yes?”
“Can we…try some of that?”
“When would you like to?”
“I’d say tonight, except, reasons.” She pointed down the hall and he knew what she meant.
Laurel.
He smiled. “I don’t have any of my stuff with me, anyway.”
“New Year’s? We’ll be alone.”
Leo and Jesse had already volunteered to stay home with Laurel that night so she and Nate could spend it together.
They’d planned on celebrating it alone at Nate’s house.
“I think I could arrange something,” he said. “Can I make a suggestion?”
She nodded.
“Why don’t we take sex off the table so you don’t feel any additional stress?”
He thought she looked a little disappointed. “Oh,” she softly said. “Okay.”
He flicked his tongue out and licked her thumb before sucking it into his mouth. His gaze locked onto hers as he slowly laved his tongue over her digit, knowing damn well what he was doing to her.
He released her thumb. “I didn’t say take orgasm play off the table,” he countered. “No intercourse. And you are, of course, able to safeword at any time for any reason.”
Her eyes brightened considerably at that. She nodded.
He moved to her index finger, slowly repeating what he’d done, watching her, seeing her breathing change by the rise and fall of her chest, the delicious pink flush creeping toward her neck.
“There are lots of ways to have orgasm play without sex,” he softly said after releasing her index finger and before moving to her middle finger.
Hell, his cock was hard, screaming, and he suspected she had to feel the way it was pressing against her through his jeans.
But her gaze never left his.
When he finished with that hand, he released it, captured her other hand, and started again. No, he didn’t need sex to get off. Part of what he got off on was this, the energy crackling between them, nearly visible, palpable as he slowly worked her up.
Even if he ended up having to finish himself off by hand New Year’s Eve, it’d be worth it to see the way the fire kindled in her gaze, a fire he had only glimpsed the barest embers of up until now.
* * * *
Holy…crap!
If he was that good with his mouth…
Yeah, she was okay with no sex, but now that he’d awakened her libido and had it screaming like an overzealous Hallelujah choir in her clit, she reeeally wanted an orgasm.
Seriously wanted one.
Hell, she needed one. She hadn’t had one in…Well, a long damn time. She’d tried masturbating a couple of times, but too many dark memories interfered and her failure to get over only reinforced them and made her sadder.
A self-perpetuating cycle of dismal doom she’d rather not repeat.
Leo—she’d thought—had been good in bed. But if this foreplay was any indication…
She had a feeling Nate would far outshine Leo’s considerable talents.
When she walked him out to his car later, she flung her arms tightly around him and rose up on her toes to kiss him, hard, insistently.
With Eva melting right there in Nate’s arms, he returned her hungry embrace, taking over, taking control of the kiss with one firm hand cupping the back of her neck and thoroughly kissing her until she wasn’t sure she’d be able to suck air into her lungs again.
He smiled down at her, his thumb caressing her cheek. “Might not be a bad idea to have a sit-down conversation sometime this week about our situation.”
She nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“And that’s what I meant.” His gaze seemed to search her face. “We should discuss what we are, exactly. We don’t need to set deadlines or do much differently than we are, but I think it would be wise to…define it more clearly.”
“Yes, Sir.” Her pulse thrummed, racing.
“I think it’s safe to say we’re boyfriend-girlfriend.”
She smiled. “Me, too.”
“I don’t have a lot of protocols,” he said, “but I do like doing things my way. If you want me to be your Dominant, that is a very serious responsibility to me. I also think it’s something we need to try out on a trial basis first. You are, technically, collared to Leo and Jesse, under their protection. I respect and recognize that. I know they’ve said the
y’re fine with us doing whatever we want at this point, but I’d rather make sure you’re okay with it before we formalize things and you move from being under their collar to mine.”
She nodded, barely able to think, much less speak. “I am.”
He kissed her one more time before letting her go. “Then we’ll talk more Wednesday night,” he said. “After Laurel goes to bed.” He was coming over for dinner.
“Yes, Sir. Thank you.”
He offered her a smile. “Good girl,” he whispered.
She stood on the front porch and watched him back out of the driveway and disappear down their street. Their Christmas lights, along with those of their neighbors around them, cast a cheerful glow into the night.
That’d been another fun afternoon, Nate coming over one Sunday to help Jesse and Leo put up the outside lights and decorations.
Returning inside, she locked the door behind her and leaned against it for a moment, processing.
She wasn’t rushing things, was she? Everyone trusted Nate. He hadn’t pressured her for sex or play. Hadn’t brought up either topic, outside of their conversations about it.
Her counselor was encouraging her to step out a little more and take healthy chances to move on.
Leo and Jesse were wholeheartedly in agreement with her seeing Nate. So was Tilly.
Maybe it’s time I stop second-guessing myself and trust the people I’ve put my trust in not to steer me wrong. They aren’t my father.
And if all of them were wrong, that meant Nate was some sort of sociopath or something and it wouldn’t be her fault if she’d gotten sucked in, too.
Something told her that wasn’t the case, though.
She unplugged the Christmas tree and turned off the TV and lights in the living room. The outside lights were on timers and would go off soon.
As she headed for bed, she decided.
Some risks were worth taking. With the strength of her pack behind her, even if things with Nate did go badly, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Leo and Jesse would always be there for her, helping her put her life back together to try again. She’d keep getting up every time life knocked her down.
The Strength of the Pack Page 9