Steve was still smarting over his mother calling him old, so Matt leaned over to him, whispering, “You’re not old, you’re perfect.”
“She said I’m old,” he pouted.
When they said goodbye, he knew he wouldn’t see them for a while. They lived in Florida, and Steve was working a lot. They’d even talked Matt into joining the company, so he’d be doing his share of hours as well.
Mac and Leo had left after the wedding, their business busy and needing them. There was nothing and no one else to keep them from making love. That intimidated him for some reason. He’d been looking so forward to when they would finally connect in that way. He was a virgin, as least to intercourse, and he wanted it to be perfect for Steve. He didn’t have the slightest idea of how to make it perfect, though.
Steve sensed his trepidation. Of course, he did. That was Steve, always a step ahead of him. Once they were in their room, Steve stopped him right by the door, kissing him sweetly. “Let me take your clothes off and make you comfortable. I’ll go wash up and while I’m gone, don’t forget how much I want you. I want you like I want air, baby. To kiss, to touch, to have you inside me.”
Kissing, touching, being inside him, like instructions given in the sweetest way he could have done it. It wasn’t a test, and he wouldn’t be judged. This was them, and the first time he could be inside of his husband. The first of many.
Steve undressed him slowly, running his hands over his bare skin, kissing under his jaw, all the while whispering to him how loved he was.
It would be that way always, he knew, a ritual celebration of their love. Matt was filled again with emotion, so much like their wedding. Each thing they did together, each step they took was new and clean and beautiful. All their life experiences were gone, and they were there, ready, happy to embrace whatever was to come.
He was on the bed, Steve helping him lay there, pillows behind his head. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I won’t be long.”
“Steve,” he said, grabbing his hand. “I want this to be perfect for you, that’s why I’m scared.”
“I know. And it will be.”
He was confident in that, and that eased Matt a lot. He waited for him, leaning up on his elbows to watch the door for a few minutes, then he remembered the iPod, and got up from the bed, searching through the closet until he found the right bag.
Steve had sent him a set of small speakers so he could listen without the earphones at The Center when his roommates weren’t around. He set it up and placed his favorite playlist on, letting the music pour out to create the best mood.
Then he noticed the light spilling in from the windows. That wouldn’t do either, so he closed them, and wished he had candles. Lacking those, he turned on the television and found a channel that played a fireplace with soft music that he muted. The light from that left a perfect glow in the room without glaring lights.
After that, he pulled down the covers and arranged the pillows, keeping his mind from what was about to happen as best he could.
When he turned, he saw Steve there, smiling, nude, coming toward him slowly. He was kissed, and Steve’s arms were around his neck. Matt held him, needing the touch of his husband. It was like a tonic, calming him, and Steve went further.
“We’ll get on the bed and we’ll kiss, touch, and when it’s time, you’ll use plenty of lube when you enter me very slowly, letting me adjust.”
Matt nodded along, glad for the instructions. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”
“Matt, it’s going to hurt a little. You are not small in that area by any stretch of the imagination. That’s going to happen every time we make love, and I don’t want you to worry about it. It’ll hurt for a little bit, but you’ll go slow, and I’ll get used to the size and the intrusion. Then…well, it gets really good.”
Matt was spun around, and Steve left him for a moment. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you that it gets really good.”
Matt set a cold finger next to his ass and he jumped a little.
“Stay still. I’m inserting a finger, just one finger, and I’m going to show you a little bit how I’ll soon feel. That should alleviate some of your apprehension.”
He let out a long breath as Steve slid his finger inside, and it burned for a second, but the lube cooled that immediately. Steve went slow, showing him that helped, and he moved further inside until he bent the finger, tapping him, then again, and finally, the third time, he hit a spot that made Matt jump and move away, spinning to face Steve. “Is that….is that my prostate or whatever?”
“Yeah. It sure is. And that jolt of all things good and wonderful in the world? Every time your penis will run over that, I’ll be in heaven. So please, stop worrying. Our lovemaking will please us both.”
Matt was so grateful for him, he sat on the bed, staring at him in awe. “How did I ever get so lucky?”
“We both did.” He got to his knees so he could be closer to Matt, and said, “It’s time, baby.”
“I want to. I want to make you feel good, Steve.”
“You just experienced how good I’ll feel. I know how the first time feels. I had one once, and now I regret not having saved that for you. It’s scary and confusing, but it’s also very natural. For two people to connect this way, there’s nothing more natural than that. It’ll happen, and you’ll soon forget why you were scared.”
Matt pulled him to the bed and Steve scooted to the center, laying his dark hair on the crisp, white pillows. He was open, ready, unafraid, and that helped boost his own confidence.
“I already stretched myself a bit, but we can explore you doing that later. We have all the time in the world, baby, but for this time, I wanted to skip that step.”
“Okay, good.” He positioned himself between Steve’s legs, then watched as Steve grabbed them, one hand behind each knee, pulling them up and apart to give Matt all the room and access he’d need. He took the lube and used a lot, so much it dripped from him onto the sheets. Their eyes locked as Matt placed his dick on Steve’s hole, ready to take that step, but also needing to savor every second of it.
Memorizing it, the flush over Steve’s handsome face, over his heaving chest. Steve’s mouth was open a little, his lips wet from his tongue licking over them. Pushing his dick there, against the tight hole, he felt a sudden surge of power. He had the power to make this man feel good or hurt him. That power didn’t come easily for him, but he liked it, because he knew in his heart, he’d never betray his husband. He’d never abuse that power to make him hurt in any way.
The crown of his dick was soon crushed in the tight heat of Steve. They were suddenly connected in the most intimate way, and Steve’s tiny wince was quickly gone, his mouth opening more to let out a deep sigh.
“Are you okay?”
Steve chuckled and assured, “I’m fabulous. You already feel amazing inside me.”
The deeper he got, the more he wanted. He lay over Steve completely as he seated inside him, and as much as Steve’s tight hole around his dick was driving him crazy, it was the rest that got to him most. Steve’s lips on his, arms and legs wrapped around him, being held, being loved.
As their faces were pressed together, Steve whispered hoarsely, “Give me another few seconds to adjust, then go for it. Please yourself and know that you’re pleasing me as you’re doing that.”
After a long groan, he bit into Steve’s neck, sucking there, marking him, and as his lips parted from Steve’s skin, he confessed again, his love. “You’re my everything, Steve. You’re everything to me, forever.”
“Show me.”
With a challenge like that, Matt could only meet it. Though lifting his hips away nearly had him coming, the tightening of Steve’s ring like a vice, lighting every nerve. “What the heck is that? What are you doing?”
“Milking your beautiful cock, baby.”
He looked Steve in the eye, seeing the wanton lust and humor there, making them twinkle like night stars. “Oh. I lik
e that.”
“I’m glad.”
Lifting more, Steve clenched tighter, and he had to fight off every urge his body had to come. He could control himself, somewhat, but it wasn’t easy, not with Steve using his body the way he was.
Crazily, he thought he’d be doing all the movement, but he was wrong. Steve was a very active participant, licking his neck as he clenched his ass deliciously, holding his sides, then moving his hands down to grip Matt’s ass cheeks.
Matt started speeding his thrusts, unable to stop himself, but he watched closely for signs he was getting too enthusiastic. There were none, Steve’s encouraging words flying out on guttural grunts and breathless pleas for him to go deeper, go harder.
He’d known that sex was something he’d enjoy, of course, but he’d never imagined how good it would feel on so many levels. The physical was better than he’d thought, and attributed that to Steve’s skill, but the emotional ecstasy was blowing him away into a world of deep love and need. Their sweating bodies moving together, eyes connecting, lips and tongue tasting, everything that was happening to every part of him, it was so much more than he’d dared to hope.
Knowing that it wouldn’t feel so good with someone he didn’t love, didn’t respect, and didn’t cherish with every bit of himself, he was once again thankful he’d waited. Sharing this moment with anyone else would have been coarse and crude. With Steve, it truly was the most beautiful moment of his life.
“Faster, please, I want you to come in me, please, Matt!”
Matt closed his eyes to feel it better, kissing Steve roughly enough to take their breath, and once he felt it coming through his spine, his hips, his legs, chest, rumbling like thunder, striking nerves like lightning, the storm that raged inside him exploded through his body and emptied into Steve.
Steve was gripping his fist over his dick, and came a second later, losing the deep groans in a choke as his air cut off and he arched under him. Matt was still experiencing all the waves of the orgasm, pulsating, taking thought and breath from him as well.
Steve helped him roll to the side, covering him over with the sheet, kissing over his face as he did. “Oh, Matt, that was…I can’t believe it was your first time.”
“I did okay?”
Steve’s laughter wasn’t mocking, but it could have been. “You silly man, that was so much better than okay!”
Matt’s body was lit up, energized though his limbs felt like jelly. “I want more of that. A lot more of that. Oh, boy, do I want a lot more of that.”
Steve made the mistake of saying, “Anytime, any way you want, I’m up for it.”
Feeling his dick jump, he had no idea he could be so turned on as to get an erection so soon after his orgasm, but it happened. “Okay, now.”
“Now? What do you mean?”
Matt pointed to the general area of his dick and said, “Now.”
Steve lifted the sheet and said, “Uh, babe, your dick is still wet from coming in my ass and it’s hard again.”
“Yeah! I have a lot of time to make up for.” He threw the sheet off him and got out of bed, holding his hand down to Steve, who was laughing and groaning at once.
“I’m going to be very sore, like all the time, with you.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you will be.”
Steve took his hand and was led to the bathroom, pushed against the counter by the sink and kissed, cutting off his laughter and groans, melting him in Matt’s arms.
Matt pulled away, then held him as he went limp, confessing, “For a while, anyway, I want to see you while we make love. I don’t just want to look at your back. I want to see your eyes and your face, but that limits us a little with positions, and I want to try all the positions.”
Again, Steve chuckled, but weakly. “We’ll try them all, when you’re ready.”
He moved, turning Steve around to face away from him, but looked right into the mirror. “That’s why I thought this would be good. I can take you from behind and still see your face.”
Steve’s eyes slowly closed, his head dropping a little. “Damn, if you’re not the sexiest man alive…”
He was pushing into Steve a second later, still careful and slowly, though Steve was wet and stretched nicely. It felt strange, being inside the man, knowing that wetness was his own cum, but it was luscious. Knowing they’d made love, that his seed was there, lubing him in the most natural way, and Steve was open for him, taking him easily so Matt could start in on his intense thrusting so much faster.
Holding Steve around the chest, he kissed over his neck, but their eyes met in the mirror and locked, so he could read in them all the things he’d wanted to see. Steve’s desire of him was equal in every way to Matt’s for Steve. The love there, every bit as encompassing.
Mouthing, “I love you,” Steve set his hand over Matt’s, then moved it, placing both hands on the lip where the counter met the wall behind it, bending more, allowing Matt to go nuts with his thrusts.
He didn’t disappoint him, taking a heavy grip on Steve’s shoulders, holding them tightly so he could steady himself while he plowed into him. Again, he watched for signs he wasn’t enjoying it, seeing none.
In the smaller space, with the tiles to give better acoustics, he heard each heavy breath of Steve’s booming. The tiny grunts he could manage while Matt ravaged him were louder, and they echoed, vibrating in his chest, in harmony with Matt’s heart.
Yes, Steve was Matt’s heartbeat, even during love making.
Again, he came inside his husband, but saw right off that Steve didn’t come again, so he dropped to his weakened knees and spun Steve around so he could orally pleasure him, taking his time, though he could barely keep a breath in his lungs.
“O-oral is moral? Not feeling like this, it’s not.”
He stopped long enough to correct, “We’re married, so whatever we do now is moral.”
That said, he slurped Steve’s dick back in his mouth and took as much as he could before he gagged some and went back for more. He tasted like heaven and if Matt didn’t like their lovemaking so much, he’d vow to suck him every minute of every day.
Steve finally came, and Matt had to hold him for a long time until he got his legs back. Not that that was a chore, he loved holding Steve.
“You’re younger, and recently a virgin. You may kill me with all the sex we’re going to have, but I’m not complaining a bit.”
“I’ll try to take it easy on you, but I’m not guaranteeing a thing.”
After their fourth time that day, Steve did beg for a break, and Matt went out to get them some food. Steve sat up in bed to feed Matt the chicken strips and fries, kissing the ranch dressing from the side of his mouth when he’d gotten overly eager.
“Our lives should always be like this. Sex, food, being together.”
“I liked you feeding me. It felt good, but weird too.”
Steve was tracing a finger over the top of his ribs, around his nipple, up to his neck. He was getting chills, but he’d never stop him. “I know it’s weird. We’ll take our roles easily at first, I promise not to push. If you never want to do anything but let me serve you in little ways, I’m perfectly okay with that, Matt. I’m so happy, just being with you, that this…this right here is a million times more than enough.”
Steve knew he’d misread his words. He couldn’t always know him so well. “I’m saying I want to do more. It was weird, like I wanted more. I didn’t like…I didn’t like liking it so much, but in therapy, I talked about that a lot.”
The caresses stopped as he flipped over to stare at Matt. “You told your therapist?”
“Yes. All of it. I had to be honest, and I had to be for my own healing, and I talked about you a lot. I was afraid, in love and felt crazy over all of it. Love is crazy, everyone says it. So, I told him about how much I loved you, and how you were submissive, and I knew I was dominant. I was scared of that…of dominating you, as you know. He told me to take it slow, that I’ll have these conflicting feelings about
it. With my…with Gabriel and the others, their need to dominate was a sick thing, a way to control those around them with fear and uncertainty. My intentions are totally different. I want it to build and grow our relationship, giving you what you need, and me. I want to feel in control, but not in a bad way. I want to make you do better and be better because I love you. I want to take all your worries and problems and give you peace in your life.”
Steve was listening intently, and he finally said his piece. “Matt, I understand that feeling, lacking control, having your life steered for you. Anything you want, I’ll follow. I will follow and know you would never take me to a place I don’t want to be. I trust you, Matt. You never have to worry about that.”
Matt saw it in his eyes. The love, the desire, and probably the best part, the trust. “I’ve never been trusted before. All of this is so new for me. All so…so good.”
“Shh, baby. I hear it in your voice. The better it is for us, the more afraid you’re going to get. There’s no need, though. Whether this is a moment or a lifetime, we hang onto what we have and rejoice, and yes, thank God that we got to feel it at all. This love, this relationship, it’s ours and no one can come between it.”
Matt threaded his fingers through Matt’s, and it became a symbol to him, of how they, like their separate lives, had come together. They’d interlaced and were more of one than two. He was contented and excited, and the fear waned a little more, but he hoped it never left him completely. He hoped it would always drive him to do more for his man and his relationship.
“Ours. I like that. No, I love that. And Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“I really love you.”
Chapter Thirty
One month later
It was his turn to be flown, then driven to a place by surprise. He didn’t know where he was, and it was making him a little carsick, being they had a blindfold on him, and there were more twists and turns on the road than he could keep up with.
The Principle (Legacy Book 2) Page 29