by Huss, JA
I’ve never been in an antique mall. I know they exist, there’s one on the west side of Denver on the side of the freeway and the sign is huge and gaudy. But I can say with one hundred percent certainty that entering that building has never crossed my mind. I’m not a snob about old things. I don’t mind old things when they’re mine. But as I walk down the many, many, many aisles in this huge-ass fucking building filled with crap—the first thing I think of is how many hands have touched these items.
The second thing I think is, why? Why would you come here to shop for Christmas presents?
I can only shake my head.
I follow Merc though an endless maze of booths filled with the oddest things—books, fabric, postcards, furniture, art, photographs, frames. The list goes on and on. But Merc stops in the way-way-back of the place and we end up at what appears to be a mini Cabala’s store. If said store was contained within a fifteen by fifteen foot booth and it only had scratch-n-dent items.
I sigh and try my best to appear professional.
“Wait here,” Merc says as he enters the booth. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Right.” With Merc, be back in a minute can mean anything from five minutes to half an hour. I pick up a knife in a basket on the counter and check it out. It’s just a folding knife, but I have nothing better to do, so I flip it open and inspect the blade.
“That knife sucks,” a girl’s voice says from behind me.
I turn towards the voice. The child is sitting in a chair in the corner of the booth across the aisle, reading Little House in the Big Woods. She’s about twelve, she’s smiling so I can see a full mouth of braces, and her hair is up in long blonde pigtails. She’s wearing a camo hoodie and some black tactical pants. “I wouldn’t buy that one,” she says.
I check the knife for a brand. None. Then check the blade. Dull. “Yeah, this is crap.” I put it back in the basket.
“Wanna see the good ones?”
I turn again, but she’s right up next to me now. “Good ones?”
“Yeah, the Emersons. We have a few left. They’re a very popular Christmas present.” She slides past me and opens a case, then removes a box and sets it on the counter.
“Are you allowed to open that?” I ask.
She never looks up at me, just shuffles through the box and then produces a small case. “This is my dad’s booth.” She nods over to the booth she came from. “That one over there is mine.” And then she looks up at me with her pre-teen eyes and pouts. “I always get left out of the back-room deals too. So I know how you feel.”
I laugh. “What makes you think there’s some kind of back room deal going on?”
“You came in with a hunter,” she says, nodding to the back room where Merc disappeared. “Hunters make deals. And since you’re out here and not back there, you’re not making the deal, that other guy is.”
“What makes you think we’re hunters?” I have no camo on and neither does Merc. “Do you see an orange vest on me?” I flap my jacket open and turn for her.
She smirks at my joking and points her finger to my face. “Not that kind of hunter,” she giggles. “You know,” she whispers, “the hunters.”
I raise my eyebrows at her.
She raises hers back. “Your friend is buying guns from my dad, doofus. Do I look stupid? I know what you guys do.” And then she takes her attention back to the glass case and removes an absolutely gorgeous Mini CQC and presents it to me on her flattened palm.
I take it from her outstretched hand and admire it, try the weight in my hand, then flip it open and inspect the blade. “Yeah, this is nice. How much?”
“Wellllll,” she says drawing out the word with a smile. “Since it’s Christmas Eve, I can give you that for two seventy five.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “Two twenty-five is more like it.”
She smiles. “Two fifty.”
“Two forty.”
“Deal.” She sticks her hand out and for a moment I just stare at it. “Shake, doofus. That’s how you seal the deal.”
I look at her again, then her hand. “This knife is only worth two twenty-five, the rest is a tip for entertaining me.”
Her hand remains outstretched. “Shake.”
I shake and she flashes her braces at me. I open my wallet and grab the cash and hand it to her.
She shoves them in her pocket and takes the knife and places it back in the case. “Gift wrap?”
“Nah, I might use it today.”
She nods conspiratorially. “Oh, big job on Christmas Eve. Must be someone important.”
What the fuck? Who lets their twelve year old daughter in on their secret arms dealing business?
“What did you get your girlfriend for Christmas? Maybe you need something else while you’re here?”
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Yeah,” she says with a sigh. “You guys never have girlfriends. I used to think your work looked exciting, but then I figured out you had no lives. No offense,” she says with a shrug.
“I have a life. I’m not a hunter, I’m just a helper. I have a girl who’s a friend. She counts.”
She squints her eyes in disbelief. “What’d you get her for Christmas?”
“Nothing. I don’t do Christmas.”
“Oh boy,” her breath comes out in a half laugh. “You really need help. Did you at least get your mom and dad something?”
“My dad’s dead and no, I just told you I don’t do Christmas.”
“Oh, sorry about your dad. I have a dad but no mom. Wouldn’t it be nice to have both?”
She says this like one parent families are normal. That makes me a little sad. “I did have both, but my dad died two years ago.”
Her head bobs in understanding. “My mom died when I was born. So…” she waves her arm around at the hunting supplies. Outdoor gear fills every bit of space in her dad’s booth. As if to say, this is what my childhood was like. All hunting, all the time. “We’re the same almost, you and I. Only opposites.” She pauses to look up at me. “And I do Christmas, so that’s different too. I got my dad a new longbow. We’re gonna bow hunt next year if I do well at State.”
“Do well at what?”
“Archery. I’m the Wyoming State champion in both trap and .22 rifle but I’m not a good enough archer yet.” She looks wistfully at a bow on the wall. “There’s always next year.”
I just stare at her. She’s like a twelve year old La Femme Nikita.
Fucking Wyoming. What do I expect? Shooting is practically the state sport.
“Wanna buy your mom something while you’re here? Make her happy this Christmas?”
“I’m pretty sure my mother would not appreciate the finer points of an Emerson folding knife.”
She laughs so all her braces show. “No, doofus. I have that booth over there. I have jewelry your mom might like. Wanna see it?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, just grabs my new knife, pushes past me, and walks across the aisle where she sets the knife down and busies herself pulling out some jewelry. She lies it all down across the glass counter top and then looks up and smiles.
It’s infectious, so I smile back as I walk over. What a cool kid. If all kids were like this girl, I might like them more.
“I’ll help you pick. Is your mom earthy or fancy?”
“Definitely fancy.”
“OK, then these ones are out.” She removes a beaded necklace and some feather earrings. “How about this one?”
It’s a string of pearls. “My mom would love it, but she’d never wear it. They’re not real.”
“Oh, then she’s classy, not fancy.”
“Yeah, that’s about right.”
“Hold on,” she says as she raises her pointing finger. “I have classy stuff too.” She reaches into her pocket and produces a key for a tall metal cabinet, then unlocks it and brings out another box. “This is the good stuff. And I know just what you need.” She shuffles through it and places an antique bracelet on the
glass. “Those pin pricks of silver? Those are marcasite. It’s not expensive, but it’s pretty don’t you think?”
“It is, very pretty,” I answer back as I watch her. She’s smiling down at the jewelry. “Are those emeralds?” I point to the little green gems.
“Yes,” she whispers. And then she looks up at me. “They’re small, but they’re real. I bought this for my mom for Mother’s Day once. It was symbolic, you know. I was missing her and wanted to give her a present. So I worked really hard to sell a lot of stuff that month and I got this bracelet from a lady who used to run a booth on the other side of the mall.”
God, how sad.
“But I’ve been thinking about it lately and I’d like for it to go to a mother, even if it can’t go to my mother. Do you think your mother would like this?” She lifts it up towards my face and then smiles one of those sweet, innocent little girl smiles at me.
Holy shit that almost cracks my black Grinch heart. “Absolutely,” I say. “My mom would die to have this bracelet. How much?”
“I have it marked at seventy-five, but since—”
“Done.” I grab some more cash from my wallet and lay it out on the counter. “Seventy-five is a steal.”
“Want me to gift wrap it?” She looks up at me smiling. “I’ll put it in a pretty jewelry bag. With ribbons and everything. And make a card too. I’ll be fast.” And before I can even answer yes, she’s got the ribbon and scissors out. “You should look for something for your friend who is a girl.” And then she stops mid-cut and looks up at me. “If she’s just a friend, you don’t give fancy things. Something small that seems insignificant, but really isn’t. OK?”
Relationship advice from a twelve-year-old. My life couldn’t be any more pathetic. But I do browse for something to give Rook. I walk inside the girl’s booth a little farther and start to take things in. “What’s your name?” I ask her as she busily ties ribbons to the jewelry bag.
“Sasha Alena Cherlin.”
“Not Nikita then?” She laughs, like she got the joke, and that makes me like her even more. “I don’t have a middle name, so Ford will have to do. Ford Aston. Sign my name on the card, OK? I have terrible handwriting. And sign yours too, so my mom knows it came from you as well.”
“Awww… that’s so sweet Ford. I’m gonna put little pink hearts on the tag too.”
“Do it up right, Nikita.”
“Sasha!” she squeals.
“Right—” I stop mid-sentence because I see the perfect gift for Rook. “I want that for the girl who is a friend.”
She puts her stuff down and walks over to me. “Eric Cartman? For a girl? I’m not sure…”
“No, I’m sure. It’s perfect.” The little Eric Cartman figure has mirrored shades, a cop uniform, and he’s holding a nightstick. I laugh out loud as I picture Rook saying ‘Respect ma authora-tay’ when she sees it. Can’t cost more than five bucks, but this is the perfect gift for Rook. Something small that seems insignificant, but really isn’t.
“Gift wrap?” Sasha asks.
“Yeah, but better leave your name off this one, OK?”
“For sure, Ford,” she winks at me. “I’m a woman, I totally get it.”
Just as Sasha is finishing up the gift wrap, Merc peeks his head out from behind the curtain that leads to the back. “Ford!” he yells over to me. “You can take off man, this job just got complicated.”
I give him a little salute, but he’s already disappeared.
“You really aren't a hunter, then?”
I look down at Sasha and smile at her. “I told you I wasn’t.”
“So now you have time for me to gift-wrap your knife.” She grabs the case and takes it over to the little table that’s doubling as a makeshift wrapping station.
“It’s for me, Sasha. It doesn’t need to be gift-wrapped.”
“It’s like a present to yourself, Ford. Just go with it.”
Just go with it. I laugh. “You’re kinda funny. Why are you working on Christmas Eve? Because my friend had a deal with your dad?”
“No,” she says softly as she continues to wrap my knife case very carefully. “We always work until noon on Christmas Eve, just in case people wander in and need help. Like you.” She looks over her shoulder and smiles before going back to her cutting and twisting. “Then we drive to my grandparents ranch near Sheridan.”
“That’s a long drive.”
“Yeah, I love the drive. I just look out the window and think about my grandparents and how fantastic it will be to see them. We’ll have early calves this year for my 4H project and I get to stay up there and help.” She stays silent for a few seconds. “I love the babies. Why are you working on Christmas Eve?” she asks as she turns with my packages.
“I don’t do Christmas Eve. I usually just try to avoid the whole holiday.”
“Well,” she huffs, “you failed this year. You have a present to unwrap and two people you love will get a gift from you this year.” She flashes me her braces and I smile back as she pushes my packages across the glass.
I stuff them in my coat pockets and shoot my finger at her, Spencer style. “Merry Christmas, Sasha Alena Cherlin. Hope you do well at State next year so you can tag that deer. And may your calf be the biggest one at weaning.”
She covers her mouth to laugh and I turn around and walk away grinning.
“See ya around Ford Aston,” Sasha calls out after me. “Tell your mom I said Merry Christmas too!”
Yeah, yeah… I feel like I should be saying bah humbug. But I don’t. Because I still got a pet date in about eight hours.
Chapter Five
I think about Sasha and what her life might be like all the way back down into Colorado. Daughter of a gun dealer. Sharpshooter at age eleven. 4H calf raiser. Reader of Little House books.
That’s quite a combination.
I’m the son of a psychiatrist, socially unacceptable genius, con-man hacker, film producer.
That’s quite a combination too.
Why can’t I find a twenty-five year old Sasha? Now she… is a freak. But in the best kind of way. Why can’t I find a well-adjusted freak?
Signs for Fort Collins appear on the side of the road and I get off on Mulberry and head towards downtown. I might as well go empty out the few things I have up at Spencer’s house in Bellvue before I go home. Nothing better to do. I still have seven hours until my pet date tonight. I turn right at College and head north, glancing over at Anna Ameci’s when the smell of Italian food makes my stomach go ape-shit. And who do I see? Veronica Vaughn walking out of the restaurant hanging on the arm of a well-dressed man.
Hmmm.
I know Spencer and Ronnie have had their difficulties, but I haven’t seen either of them since the Shrike Bikes show ended a few weeks ago so I had no idea they broke up. I pull into one of the many empty parking spaces and get out to go butt into her business. Veronica is dressed like a runner but I know better. Ronnie does not run. The man leans down and kisses her on the cheek and then walks off, leaving her standing in front of the restaurant. He gets into a new Buick Lacrosse and drives away.
Being the good best friend that I am, I memorize the plate for future evaluation.
Veronica is daydreaming when I walk up and tap her on the shoulder.
She whirls around. “Holy fuck, Ford! What the hell? You scared the shit out of me!”
“It was intentional.”
She rolls her eyes. “Well, what do you want?”
“That did not look like Spencer.”
“Wow, you really are a genius,” she snaps back at me. “That guy is the farthest thing from Spencer there is. He’s polite, attentive, and interested. Need I say more?”
“So you and Spencer broke up? Because I’m pretty sure he has no idea you’re seeing other men.”
“I don’t have time for this,” she says pushing past me. “Spencer can go fuck himself. I’m done waiting on him to grow up. He’s almost twenty-four years old and he still acts fourteen.
” She walks down the sidewalk towards Laurel, then stops at the light and pushes the walk button repeatedly.
I follow her.
“What are you doing? Go home, Ford.”
“I was on my way to Spencer’s actually. To clear out my shop apartment. Wanna come?”
“Spencer’s in Denver with his family and since I’m not part of his family, I’m gonna walk home and spend Christmas Eve with my brothers.”
“I have the codes, I can get in everywhere.”
She stops anxiously shuffling her feet and looks up at me. Spencer’s Veronica is tall and tough, has big blonde hair, perpetual red lips, perpetual high heels, and a never ending E-cig.
But this other man’s Veronica looks small and fragile, has no make-up on, her hair is straight and up in a ponytail, and she’s not puffing.
Something is definitely wrong.
“Come with me. I’ll let you snoop through all his stuff.”
The light turns and her walk signal flashes, but Ronnie stands still. “Yeah, right. You’ll probably record me and post it on YouTube so Spencer will break up with me.”
I point my finger at her. “So, you admit you’re still in a relationship with him!”
She shakes her head and then starts to walk across the street. I reach out and grab her before a car comes barreling around the corner. “Shit, Ronnie. Watch where you’re walking. You die on my watch and I get the blame.”
“Your watch?” she sneers.
I shrug. “I’m with you, I’m responsible for you. Which is why I’d like to know what’s going on with that man you just kissed.”
“I didn't kiss him, he kissed me. On the cheek.”
“Same thing.”
“Ford, what the hell do you want?”
“Come with me to Spencer's. I’ll drop you off at home when we’re done.”
“Why? So you can pump me for information?”
I chuckle. But it’s my diabolical chuckle. The one that says Don’t fuck with me or your life might take unexpected and unwelcome wrong turns. “No, Ronnie. So you can talk me out of going to my FoCo apartment, looking up your man’s license plate using my DMV crawler, then calling Spencer and giving him that man’s address so he can show up on his doorstep tonight and start asking questions. Because that’s pretty much where I’m at right now. I do not cover for anyone outside the Team.”