“This is what I need right now,” I said quietly. “I need to think. I know I’m supposed to be this fearless warrior who kicks ass and never bothers with names, but I don’t feel like it. Trust me when I say I need this.”
“This is a terrible idea.”
I threw my duffel bag over my shoulder and picked my purse up off my dresser before turning to him one last time. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I don’t want you to follow me tonight. I don’t need you there. If you come, I will be really angry.”
“Please don’t do this. Don’t go without me.”
“Good-bye, Will,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll patrol then, okay?”
His mouth tightened into a line before he got up and his form vanished into the Grim. After he was gone, I stood there for a moment, second-guessing myself. But I had already made up my mind. I left my house, climbed into my car, and drove to Kate’s without him.
16
I’D BEEN TO STATE BEFORE, BUT NEVER ON A Saturday night. The end-of-February weather was miraculously above freezing, and that only encouraged thousands of college students to swarm the streets.
When we got inside Jay’s house, it was so hot that the air was foggy and thick with perspiration and the smell of living bodies and cigarettes. Music pounded my head in heavy, hypnotic beats so hard I could barely open my eyes. The atmosphere alone was intoxicating and disorienting. Kate hooked her fingers with mine and led me through the packed living room. We squeezed through people slick with sweat and spilled beer.
A hand touched my waist, and I blinked twice to focus through the haze. Brian dipped his face so close to mine that our cheeks brushed together and he still had to shout for me to hear him. “I’m glad you came! Are you having a good time?”
I laughed. “Yes! This is insane!”
He drew away and laughed. “You have no idea. Let me get you girls some drinks.”
Kate and I followed him into the kitchen, where a keg sat in a kiddie swimming pool covered with cute smiling fish. I laughed out loud when I saw it. Brian filled a couple of cups and handed them to us.
“Have a good time, ladies,” he said. The kitchen wasn’t much quieter than the living room, but at least we didn’t have to yell in order to hear each other. “Beer pong is in the basement, so feel free to roam. I’ll go find Jay downstairs and let him know you’re here.”
“He’s playing beer pong?” Kate asked.
“Yeah. Want to join?”
“Hell yes,” she said with a grin.
He brightened. “Well then. You’re in luck, because I’ve got next on the table. Right this way.”
He led us out of the kitchen and toward an open door in the hallway. We descended the narrow, creaky stairs into the musty basement. A table was set up in the center of the room, with a small crowd of people around it. Everyone was at least a head taller than me, except for a pixielike girl with a waist as narrow as one of my thighs. Her bleached blond hair had black streaks underneath, and she wore a tiny stud in her nose. I wondered if she was pretty under all that makeup.
I saw Jay partnered on the other end of the long table with a very tall, lanky guy with a Mohawk and a shirt that said HAMMERED. Mohawk Guy had a white Ping-Pong ball in one hand and a joint in the other. Jay and Mohawk Guy had three plastic cups, each filled with a little bit of beer, in front of them, and the team they faced had two left. Mohawk Guy sank the ball into a cup and roared with victory. He spun to the side, and Jay took the second ball out of a water cup. He tossed the ball, and it swirled around the cup before hitting the beer. He swore at the top of his lungs and threw a fist in the air in the angriest happy cheer I’d ever seen. The crowd surrounding them cheered and hollered.
Mohawk Guy bobbed and shook his head with the beat of the music upstairs and did a little skip before slapping Jay gently in the chest. “I’d love to play again, but I promised Maggie I’d smoke her down.”
Jay nodded. “That’s cool. I’ll meet you up there in a bit.”
Mohawk Guy laid a hand on the tiny blond-and-black-haired girl’s back, and they disappeared upstairs.
“Sweet,” Brian said. “I’ve got next.” He turned to me and took up a lock of my hair with his hand to examine it curiously. The gesture was so Will-like that it startled me. “Be my partner, gorgeous?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said.
Jay playfully tugged on Kate’s shirt. “You game?”
She grinned. “Always.”
He laughed. “Be right back.” He waggled two empty cups in his hands, which I took to mean he was going to refill for the game. Brian grabbed a couple of our cups to do the same.
Kate slunk up to my side and shimmied her hip against mine. “So what do you think of Brian? He’s so cute, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he is.” The guilty feeling in my gut kept me from elaborating. Brian was really cute, but he wasn’t who I wanted to be flirting with.
“Ell, get over him.”
I blinked at her in surprise.
“I don’t need to read your mind. Your face is always so black and white. Tonight isn’t about anything serious. Just have fun. Brian has gorgeous lips. I’ll bet he’s an amazing kisser.” She squeezed my hip, and I bounced away from her with a squeal.
“Who says I’m going to let him kiss me?” I teased.
“I do,” she said firmly. “Because I think you need to kiss someone else. Just a harmless, fun little kiss. Nothing serious.”
“Hmm.” I wasn’t sure if I was ready or even willing to kiss another boy. Not yet. I didn’t really know Brian, and while I knew one kiss wasn’t that big a deal, I just didn’t want to kiss anyone else.
The boys returned and arranged the game. They had filled up the cups with beer, and Brian tossed the balls to the other side of the table and turned to me.
“Okay, do you know how to play?” he asked.
“Get the ball in the cups, right?”
“Basically. It takes some technique, but that comes with practice.” He nodded to Jay and Kate. “They’ll go first because Jay won last round.”
Jay tossed his ball. It bounced off the rim of a cup. Kate’s ball ricocheted off the table without even touching a cup. Brian put both balls into the water cup to rinse off the linty floor nasties. He tossed one ball, and it dropped into the first cup.
I cheered and stuck out my tongue at Kate as I picked up the second ball. I straightened my arm and aimed. Brian stepped close to me and slid his hand slowly down my arm. His touch, coupled with the coolness of the basement air, sent a shiver through me. His other hand wrapped around my waist as he touched my wrist and guided my arm back.
“Line it up,” he said softly into my ear. He was extremely distracting.
I released. The ball tapped the rim of a cup in the back row before falling into the beer. I jumped and threw my hands up as I cheered and Brian scooped me into a hug.
Somehow, Brian and I miraculously won the game. That first cup was the only one I made the whole game, but that didn’t take away from the fun I had.
Brian linked his fingers through mine. “Wanna dance?”
“Yes!” I smiled hugely and followed him upstairs.
I was much more at ease with the thundering music after having a few beers, and Brian was a really good dancer. I swayed my hips and he followed me, running his hands down my arms and around my waist. I turned my back into him and his lips brushed against the bend of my neck as we danced, making me feel even hotter in the sultry heat of the house as the party raged all around us. To my frustration, I was reminded of every time I’d asked Will to dance with me. I didn’t want to think about him while I was having such a great time with Brian, but I couldn’t help it.
I spun my body around to face Brian so that it was his face that I saw, instead of Will’s that I imagined. My eyes locked with Brian’s, and I noticed for the first time their gorgeous brown color. Like pure, delicious milk chocolate. My world whirled around me as I danced through that alcohol haze. Brian wrapped a
hand around my cheek and slid it to cradle the back of my head, his fingers twining through my hair. He lowered his face, and instinctively I withdrew before his lips touched mine. He looked puzzled a moment, but then he gave an apologetic smile and seemed okay that I’d pulled away from his kiss. Kate had told me to kiss someone else, but I still didn’t think I could. Will’s face was in my mind again, and I couldn’t drive it away. Brian didn’t try to kiss me again as his hands fell to my hips. We danced until I forgot that there were a hundred other people in that living room, and I completely lost track of time.
I stumbled and laughed when he caught me with an arm around my waist. “Want to take a break?” he asked.
When I righted myself and still felt like I was spinning a hundred miles an hour, I nodded and pressed a hand to my forehead. He took my hand and led me from the room and toward the stairs. As I took that first step, I hesitated, trying to figure out where he was taking me. No way. I was not going into his room. “Where are we going?”
“Don’t worry. Kate and Jay and some other people are up here chilling. If we don’t find them, then we’ll come right back. Okay?”
I chewed on my lip before nodding and following him upstairs. He checked one empty room before moving on to the next. We found a room full of people and went inside. Jay and Kate were sitting on a raggedy couch together, and Mohawk Guy and his girl sat on a lumpy futon next to the couch. Brian sat on the bed, and I sat shakily down next to him.
“There you two are!” Kate exclaimed with a wide joyful grin on her face.
“This is my room,” Brian said. “That’s Rob and Maggie.” He gestured at Mohawk Guy and his girl.
Maggie gave me a smug smile, and Rob acknowledged me with a nod.
“Hey,” I greeted them nervously.
Rob winked at me as he packed a bowl with weed. His eyes were already blazing red. “Want to smoke, gorgeous?”
Maggie shot him a ferocious glare, which he ignored. He puffed his chest and blew out a thick cloud of smoke before hacking painfully. He passed it to Maggie, who also took a hit. Brian’s turn came next, and then he passed it to me. I held the bowl and lighter in my hands and stared at them. The weed smelled like something had died on Bigfoot’s ass and then had gasoline poured all over it.
I frowned at it and passed it on. “No, thanks.”
Brian fixed us more drinks, mixing from multiple bottles. Before I knew it, he was passing us shots and cups of liquid that, after a while, didn’t taste anything at all like alcohol. The TV was suddenly on. We were watching one of my favorite late-night vulgar cartoons. The next moment, we were watching something else. What time was it? I was leaning against Brian. His hands were around my stomach, fingers toying with the hem of my shirt. My boots were off and across the room. How did they get there? Kate and Jay were making out on the couch. Brian’s nose nuzzled my hair, and it just annoyed me. The new show on TV was really funny. Like really funny. I didn’t even know what was going on, but it was amazing. Then Rob and Maggie were gone. It was just me and Brian sitting on his bed. Suddenly Kate and Jay were gone, too. When did they leave?
“Where did everyone go?” I asked, turning around to look at Brian. Turning made my mind swim, and I let my head sag heavily to the side.
“Just downstairs,” he said. “They’ll be right back.”
I moved away from him, but he stopped me. His hand rubbed my side and swept down my waist, tugging me closer to him. My head felt immensely heavy and his shoulder was there, so I laid my cheek on it. For some reason, the cotton of his shirt felt extra cool compared to the air of the stuffy room, and I played with the soft collar. The cotton felt amazing to the touch. I tried to avoid looking up at him.
“How old are you again?” he asked, his hand now grasping around my bare thigh. I felt very self-conscious in that skirt suddenly.
“Seventeen.” I looked around for Will, but the room spun like a tornado and my eyes bulged as nausea flooded over me. I pushed myself away from Brian as I remembered that Will was nowhere near, because I had told him I was going to this party without him. I had a sudden strange feeling, like a hole had been ripped inside me.
I was lying on my back, but I had no idea how that had happened. I couldn’t remember. The bed was incredibly soft and cool, and my body felt like it was burning up. Brian’s body on top of me didn’t help at all.
He kissed my neck and nibbled on my earlobe, but it only annoyed me. I felt no little warm shock in my nerves like the ones Will gave me with the slightest touch.
“You’re really hot,” Brian breathed into my ear. Beer smell blasted my cheek.
I grimaced and turned my face away. “Thanks.”
He leaned over me, pushing his chest into me as he sucked on my neck sloppily. His mouth moved and his lips shoved against mine. I jerked my face away and pushed at him, but he was so heavy. Whatever he was doing was kind of gross, like a dog slobbering all over me.
“Don’t do that,” I said with a grunt. “Brian, no.”
He pushed me deeper into the bed. I shoved my hand into his shoulder, but I didn’t have the strength to do much. The effort made me so tired, and I relaxed. His hands covered both of my breasts, and I lashed out in fear and shock.
“Okay, Brian,” I said, almost suffocating beneath his weight. “That’s enough. I said no. Get off me!”
One hand squeezed my hip and played with the bottom of my skirt, his fingers treading dangerously north. I squeezed my knees together and brushed at his hand to move it away, but he pushed his thigh between both of mine, parting them, and his hand kept going. A burning hot finger hooked around the elastic of my underwear.
“Brian, stop!” I shoved my hands at his uselessly as tears budded in my eyes. This was getting bad. So, so bad. If my head hadn’t been spinning so much, I could have stopped this, but it was impossible to summon my powers.
When his mouth pressed against mine again, my body locked up and I twisted my face around. My power surged weakly, and he startled at the zap against his skin, but his confused pause only lasted an instant before his hand grabbed my chin and forced my head straight and he kissed me harder. I couldn’t focus enough to shove him away. Panic was sapping my strength.
I heard two loud, consecutive bangs, and then Brian flew off me. Confused, I opened one eye. Will had plucked Brian up by the back of his shirt. I blinked hard, certain I’d only imagined what I saw. Will tossed him—gently, by reaper standards—across the room, and he slammed into the far wall. The drywall caved, and Brian’s body tore off a couple posters and knocked empty bottles off a shelf above him onto the ground. He hit the carpet and swore at the top of his lungs as he staggered to his feet.
“You son of a—” Brian swung at Will, and Will shoved a hand into the human boy’s chest, swatting him like a fly, and he crashed to the wall again. As Brian picked himself up off the floor, they stared at each other for way too long, and even though I could see only the back of Will’s head, I imagined he was trying to kill Brian with his eyes since he couldn’t do it with his hands. The anger in Brian’s face was replaced by fear, and he scuttled out of the room. No one gave a look that could kill like my centuries-old Guardian. Will definitely had the intimidation face down pat.
For a moment, I was filled with so much relief that I wanted to throw myself into Will’s arms, but then I remembered I was supposed to be mad at him and I frowned up at the ceiling. I lay on the bed, furious with Will for following me out here when I had told him not to. If things had gotten really out of hand, I could have kicked the crap out of that guy. I didn’t need or want Will to save me.
“Ellie? Are you okay?” Will whispered, leaning over me, his voice feather soft, his hands politely smoothing my clothes back into place. His presence was all over me, so incredibly close, and I inhaled his scent. I wanted to grab onto him, but I couldn’t give in.
I threw a hand over my face to block out the harsh light from above. “Go away, Will.”
“Nope” was all he said as h
e wrapped an arm under my back and the other under my knees. He lifted me up and carried me through the house.
“Put me down,” I growled, and tried to wriggle free.
“Nope.”
“I’m going to bite you if you don’t put me down.”
“Go ahead.”
All right then. I turned my head into his chest and chomped down on air and a little bit of cloth. “You suck.”
“I know.”
I glanced at the gaping hole where the doorknob had smashed through the wall. On the other side of the door frame, the wood had shattered where the door had been busted open.
“What are you doing?” asked a voice. “Where are you taking her?”
I peeked to see that Jay had stopped us. He looked pissed.
“Who are you? You can’t just take her out of here, man.”
Will stared him down the way he had with Brian. “She’s mine.”
I snarled and ground my knuckles into his chest, but it had no effect. “I am not yours, you caveman!”
Will ignored me. “And she’s in high school.”
Oh, great. Just tell everyone about the drunk high school skank at the college party, getting carried out.
Jay didn’t protest anymore, and Will stormed past him and outside. He opened a car door and set me down on the cloth seat. I recognized the interior of Lauren’s car.
Will touched my face gently, and his eyes found mine. His expression was a strange mixture of anger and concern. “Where’s Kate?” he asked firmly. “I’m getting her out, too.”
I waved a hand, motioning back to the house, and I pressed both my hands to my forehead. The car spun around me and I pushed my face into the seat to try and make the world stop, but it didn’t work. When I looked, Will was gone.
I heard voices outside the car, and I sat up a little to see out the window. Kate was arguing with Will, but I couldn’t understand what she said.
“But I can’t,” Will growled, just loud enough for me to hear. “It’s a lot more complicated than you could ever imagine. You have no right to judge me, Kate.”
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