Loveless: A BWWM Wolf Shifter Romance (The Alpha Series Book 2)

by Brooklyn Knight

  Silence.

  “It would happen three times a week; every week from the time I was five years old up until I was twelve,” I revealed. “I would be... in my room, in my bed, covers pulled up under my chin, but he’d still come. Three times a week.”

  Vince’s eyes flickered and his jaw tensed.

  “Mondays, Thursdays, and Sunday nights...” My voice cracked. I moistened my lips and continued. “The door would creak open. It would make this sound, like in the fucking horror movies. Do you know the sound I’m talking about?”

  He didn’t answer, but his chest was heaving.

  I swallowed. “The light from the nightlight in the hallway would bleed into my room, but it wasn’t enough to completely blow his cover. I couldn’t see him, but I would hear him. And then, I would feel him.” My eyes fluttered and I swiped at their edges. “He used to beat me, and kick me, and burn me... I protected Sasha from all of it,” I whispered. “When we got a little older, he set his sights on her, but I’d beg him to leave her alone and I’d offer myself to him instead. I had what he wanted, not Sasha. She was only a little girl.”

  “What about your mother?” Vince asked. The words barely escaped his tight lips. “Where was she when all of this was happening to you?”

  “At work,” I said with a heavy shrug. “She worked three jobs, and had overtime on Mondays, Thursdays, and...” I straightened my shoulders. “She was never at home. And when I finally got the courage to tell her...” The words died.

  Vince eased forward and took my hands.

  I drew in a breath and continued. “When I finally told her what was happening, she didn’t believe me. She said I was a liar and a whore; and any relationship I tried to get into after that, the men treated me just as if I was those things.”

  Vivid images filled my mind, and I shook my head to get them out. I squeezed my eyes together, but the memories only became more garish. I could see it all, as if it had just happened: Gerald’s punches and kicks; the way he used to peel my covers back; Child Services ripping me and Sasha out of the house in the middle of the night...

  When I looked at Vince, he was peering at me.

  I tried to smile, but it felt lopsided. “I had to take Loveless,” I muttered. “I had to stop loving my mother, especially after the things she allowed to happen. I had to stop hoping that something would change and stop caring when they didn’t.” I swallowed. “I had to stop believing in love, because it didn’t exist. There were even times when – ”

  “Enough,” Vince interrupted, and my mouth snapped closed. “I cannot bear to hear any more of this story. To think that these things happened to you...” His words died and his mouth bunched. His flickering gaze dropped to the table.

  “It was a really long time ago,” I murmured.

  “Yet the ghosts of your past visit you in your dreams every night.”

  I could not argue.

  His mouth bunched. “You are so brave, Carina,” he whispered through a breath. “Now I understand why you drank Loveless, and I can also see why trust is so important to you.”

  “I wasn’t being facetious when I said I don’t do relationships. It’s true,” I said. “I’m emotionally unavailable. It’s a side effect of Loveless.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because Julian told me,” I said. “In fact, the reason I wear the amulet is so that my heart will charge the potion. My heart is dark, and so is Loveless, so I guess it makes sense.” I shrugged, and Vince gazed into my face.

  “Do you believe that?” he asked.

  My eyes fluttered. “Yeah.”

  “I don’t,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I know darkness, and whenever I am near you, all I can feel is light,” he said. “It shines into my dark places and makes me feel whole.” He traced his thumb over my cheek. “I do not believe your heart is dark, Carina, and I believe I can restore your belief in love. If you let me.”

  “How do I know I can trust you?” I whispered.

  Our faces were inches apart.

  “Because deep down inside, we both know the truth about what is happening between us,” he answered. “And you can trust me, Carina. You can trust me with everything, including your heart.”

  My muscles relaxed. “What does Carina mean?”

  “It means sweetheart,” he answered with a smile.

  And then he kissed me. Slow and sweet. My fingers went to his jaw, and I drew him closer, basking in the intriguing atmosphere of hope, promise, and longing, giving in to the urge to touch him.

  Suddenly, he ended the connection and rose from the table. Neither of us had touched a morsel on our plates, but he dragged me out of my seat.

  “Where are we going?” I asked falling into his shadow.

  “Outside.” He tugged me towards the exit.

  “Well, you’re full of commands tonight, aren’t you?”

  He chuckled. “My commands would not be a problem if you were not so disobedient,” he suggested.

  I giggled, glad the mood had lightened. “Vince, it’s cold,” I protested, “and I’m hungry. We still haven’t eaten anything.”

  Vince called out to the butler. “We are going into the garden. Please bring our meals.” Then he turned to me. “I will keep you warm.”

  Sixteen

  Shenique

  ‘Crazy Crush’

  We passed through the cottage and back through the front door, but instead of heading in the direction we’d just come from, Vince took me around the perimeter of the cottage to the back. The smell of roses and lavender filled my senses, and Vince wrapped his arms around me. Our paces slowed as we reached a wooden, two-seater swing. He sat down and pulled me next to him. It was in that moment, I realized how tired I was. Emotionally.

  The butler brought our meals, and I was glad for the distraction. By now, I was sure the growling in my stomach sounded like thunder rolling over the hills. I inhaled the food like I was at the Last Supper, and Vince watched me carefully, and even when I had finished my food, I noticed he had yet to touch his.

  I wiped my mouth with the napkin and rested it on the garden table. Heat flushed my cheeks under his appreciative gaze.

  “Come,” he requested.

  I pushed the wooden chair back and sauntered into his waiting arms. When I reached, he pulled me into his lap and buried his face into my neck. His dick was rock-solid and it pressed against my crotch as I settled myself.

  “Why do you always do that?” I asked, leaning into him, allowing him more access to my tingling skin. My eyes rolled away and closed.

  “Does it bother you?”

  “No,” I admitted quickly, “I... like it.”

  He hummed and his dick spasmed. “When I do this, I am drawing in your scent.”

  I giggled. “Oh right, because you’re a wolf!”

  “Yes,” he confirmed, “but it is more than this. The way you smell, it is inebriating. It makes me high. I am addicted to your aroma, Shenique. I am addicted to you.”

  My heart lurched.

  “It is also because... we think you belong to us,” he continued.

  I pulled back to look into his face. “We? Us?”

  “Yes.” His cheeks flushed.

  I moistened my lips and removed myself from his embrace. I sat back in my seat.

  Vince pressed his back against the chair and cocked his head to the side. A strand of his brown hair shifted.

  I stood back, observing him. “Tell me about the wolf, Vinny.”

  His lips spread into a grin. It looked so gorgeous on him, I was suddenly fighting the urge to hurl myself over the table and land on his dick. “The one that I killed in the woods or...”

  “Your wolf,” I clarified laughing. “Tell me about him.”

  He smiled and stretched his arms over his head. “And why do you wish to know about him?”

  “Because I’m curious,” I admitted. “I saw him yesterday, you know. Before you left for the mansion, I peeked outside of the window and saw thi
s massive, hulking animal with gray eyes. Gray eyes like yours.”

  Vince folded his arms. “He saw you too,” he confirmed. “I told you to rest and you were up at the window, being disobedient. As normal.” His bottom lip caught between his teeth, and I gasped when I noticed how sharp they suddenly were. And their length.

  Vince whispered, as if he were telling me a deep, dark secret. “My wolf has a crazy crush on someone.”

  My breath caught. “How the... hell does a wolf have a crush on someone?” I asked.

  Vince shrugged one shoulder. “I do not understand it either,” he admitted. “We’ve been together for thirty-five years, and never once has he been this adamant about any female.” He let the thought sink in.

  “Well, who does he have a crush on?” I was flirting, but I had no idea if it was with Vince or the damn wolf.

  “He has a crush on you,” came the response.

  My pussy jolted. “How do you know?” I questioned further.

  “Because he talks about you all the time,” he revealed, and the more he spoke, the deeper the gray hue in his eyes became, until they were like cold metal.

  “He talks?”

  “Yes.”

  “You can hear him?”

  He nodded slowly. “If you think I am bossy, you should meet my wolf. If he had his way, I would have clai – ” Vince swallowed the words and his eyes fell from mine.

  I shifted in the seat, which was now strangely uncomfortable on my ass. “So let me meet him,” I demanded in a whisper.

  His eyebrows rose. “Meet my wolf?”

  “Yes.” I squared my shoulders. “I want to see it.”

  “But I thought you already saw it,” he said leaning forward.

  “I did, but I want to see it again, right here and right now, no distractions. So... show me.”

  Vince grinned. “Are you sure, Carina?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You and your goddamn questions...”

  “Fine, I will show you,” he agreed, raising from his chair and approaching me. “Do you promise not to overreact?” When he reached, he drew me into his arms and clearly, without considering the details of our agreement, dropped his lips onto mine.

  Instantly, I was reduced to nothing, and my nerves jittered like they had been charged by batteries. His mouth glided over mine, and I threaded my arms around his neck. My breasts ached for his mouth. To my shock, every part of my anatomy was becoming alive.

  Vince groaned against my lips.

  “Vince, I don’t over– ” I was trying to get the sentence out, but he nipped my bottom lip with his sharp teeth, and the sensation turned me on like nothing I’d ever experienced.

  “Okay, I promise, I won’t overreact,” I revised my statement.

  Vince gave me a final, lingering kiss, before taking a step backwards. “Do not be afraid,” he said slowly backing away from me. “He will be very excited. He has been waiting for this moment, and he has not been very patient about it.”

  I gasped.

  Vince continued. His voice dropped lower and my panties dampened. “He likes to be rubbed on his head.”

  “Like a dog?”

  Vince frowned. “Do not let him hear you say that,” he advised, and I burst into nervous laughter.

  Finally, the laughter settled and Vince’s gray eyes turned to steel. A light seemed to radiate from someplace behind his pupils, and his teeth began to slide out of his mouth. “Sit down,” he instructed. His voice was unusually deep.

  I didn’t argue. Not this fucking time.

  Vince hung his head and drew in a deep breath. Suddenly, his body began to twist in an unnatural fashion. His bones cracked, as if he was being re-arranged from the inside out, and fur sprouted on his arms and neck.

  I wanted to scream, but no sound came out.

  I watched as his clothes shredded off his body, and he transformed until he was no longer before me. Now, there was a massive creature, with brown fur, and peering gray eyes.

  Vince was nowhere to be found.

  The scream came out of its own accord. I tumbled off the chair and crashed to the ground. Instantly, the wolf approached. Its head was dipped low as it put one foot in front of the other. The glow in its eyes rivaled the moon shining overhead, and reminders of the attack a few nights ago assailed me.

  I scrambled to my feet and made a crippled mad-dash out of the garden. The butler was on his way back in with dessert, but I burst past him, almost knocking the tray from his hands.

  To my horror, when I looked behind me, the wolf was in hot pursuit. Its gray eyes were like flashlights as it hunted me down in front of the cottage.

  My leg was on fire, even though the wound had healed.

  Suddenly, the inevitable happened, and the wolf slammed on top of me, knocking me to the ground. Its heavy body pressed against me, and I threw my hands up to shield myself from the impending attack. Its eyes were pinned on me, and its mouth moved closer to my neck.

  Vince had tricked me. It had been his plan, a plot to keep me away from the mansion, and I had fallen for it. Every line he’d fed me, every emotion he’d stirred inside of me, I’d fallen for all of it. I should never have trusted him. I should never have –

  Out of nowhere, the sensation of a wet tongue swiping against my skin made me gasp as if I had been ducked under water. My eyes shot open just as the wolf licked me again. I tried to push it away, but it was no use. Its sheer size rendered my defense useless. Another swipe of its tongue brushed across my face, and then it buried its snout in my neck and sniffed.

  “Oh my god, are you serious?” Now, I was laughing.

  The wolf barked and hopped back. It slapped its front paws on the ground and dropped its head between them.

  My brows drew in. “Are we supposed to be playing fetch?”

  The wolf barked. Suddenly, it hopped up and bounced towards me. Now, there was no fear, not even when it knocked me back onto the ground. It rubbed its head against my hand. Remembering what Vince said he liked, I ran my nails over the space between its ears, and its body loosened. My confidence increased and I stroked it, letting my hand run over the length of its back.

  “Vince, is it really you?” I whispered.

  Of course, it didn’t answer, but the way it rubbed against me and dug its wet snout against my neck confirmed, that it was, indeed, Vinny.

  The wolf pulled back and sat, staring at me. Its head tilted to the side as it huffed.

  I swallowed. “Okay,” I said, trying to steady my shaking voice. “You can... transform now.”

  It stared and I glared back at it.

  “Vince, turn back,” I insisted. “I’ve seen the wolf, and I’m satisfied.”

  The wolf stood on all fours, but instead of changing back into Vince, it strutted past me and back to the house, tail poised.

  I stared after it, confused by its behavior.

  Maybe he couldn’t understand me, I thought. He was now an animal, after all – and an Italian one, at that. Maybe he didn’t understand English anymore.

  Feeling like an idiot, I was left with no choice but to follow. The brown wolf marched past the wait staff, who were busy tidying the untouched dining table, but no one was alarmed by the animal’s presence. Instead, they dipped their heads respectfully and continued their tasks.

  I inched past them, confused as to what I should be doing, but I followed Vince into the bedroom. When we reached, he turned and sat on his haunches peering at me, as if he were waiting for me to make a move.

  I steadied my gait and closed the door, before turning to face him.

  Vince turned in a circle and laid on a rug in front of the burning fire place. The glow of the blaze seemed to radiate all around his huge, powerful body. He was massive, but there was no denying that he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

  I was in complete awe of him.

  Unexpectedly, my mouth bunched and unshed tears stung my eyes. When was the last time I had cried? I remembered: it was just before I’d drank
Loveless. The tears had been streaming down my face, but within minutes, they had all dried up. But now, the urge to display the emotion was overpowering. I swallowed them away.

  Vince huffed and his back rose and fell.

  “Are you going to change back?” I asked the wolf.

  Vince had to be in there somewhere, but I had no idea if he could hear or understand me. Neither the wolf nor Vince responded.

  I sighed as the weight of fatigue dropped on me. I was tired of fighting, tired of being on guard. I had never told anyone other than Julian and my mother about my story – not even Sasha knew – but somehow, Vince had pulled it out of me. But more surprising was the unconditional love I felt radiating from him. He hadn’t asked any questions. He hadn’t doubted the details of the story. He’d just... been there.

  And he’d validated me. He’d called me strong. He’d called me Carina.

  I approached the animal, whose body was stretched out, long and thick on the carpet. I paused only for a second before lying down and curling up next to it. Instantly, it pulled me into it, guiding me with a firm tail. Its coat had to be warmer than the burning fire. To my surprise, he was more comfortable than the king-sized bed had ever been, and soon, I found myself burrowing closer.

  The animal gave me a wolf-kiss before nuzzling his nose against me, and my eyes squeezed closed.

  The stinging was back.

  My mouth trembled. “Thank you for listening,” I whispered. “Thank you for not leaving me.”

  Silence.

  Tears leaked from my eyes, but I didn’t swipe them away. Then, as if on cue, sleep overcame me, and for the first time in years, it was the most satisfying sleep ever.

  Seventeen

  Vince

  ‘Overdue’

  When my eyes peeked open, it was still dark, but I knew it was early in the morning. I had told Shenique that I would not stay the night, but when she told me about the nightmares, I knew there was no way I would leave her alone, even if I had threatened to do so. And when she told me the story of Gerald, silence was the only tactic I could use to stay calm.