by Karin Baine
* * *
In the end they’d had to rush to get ready in time for work, they’d spent so long in bed.
‘I’m going to have to get changed. I can’t turn up in yesterday’s clothes.’
He’d tried to pull her back in for one last smooch, but she wasn’t having any of it.
‘You could borrow something of mine. I don’t think anyone would object if you turned up wearing one of my shirts and nothing else.’ He drew a finger down her spine as she leaned over the side of the bed to collect her discarded clothes.
‘I would,’ she protested, but he couldn’t help going back for more when he’d made her shiver. He swept her hair from the back of her neck and danced kisses along that ticklish spot. Her response as she leaned back for more of his touch only added fuel to the fire in his belly. Charles reached around to cup her breasts in his palms, pinching her nipples between thumbs and forefingers so she groaned with appreciation.
‘I really have to go,’ she tried again as he nuzzled her neck.
‘You don’t have to. You’re free to do as you want, and I hope to hell that includes me.’ He knew he’d said the wrong thing when she stiffened beneath him and covered his hands with hers to stop them wandering any further.
‘Charles, if I become part of this household I’m not going to take advantage of my position, and neither are you. I’ll be coming here to work, not be installed as your mistress.’ Harriet pulled her clothes on with such jerky movements Charles could see she was battling to contain her temper.
‘I know that. It was a joke. A bad one.’
She wasn’t listening as she walked barefoot to the door with her shoes in her hands, no longer content to spend another second with him to put them on.
‘I’ll see you at the clinic.’ The slamming door said everything about the offence he’d caused.
Charles fell back onto the pillows with a sigh. It shouldn’t be a crime to want to spend time with her, but it wasn’t something she apparently wanted to hear. Perhaps he’d oversold Heatherglen to her when it now held more appeal for her than him.
CHAPTER NINE
HARRIET KNEW SHE’D overreacted to Charles’s teasing this morning. Especially when she’d have happily spent the rest of the day in bed with him. It was that niggling fear in the pit of her stomach that sex was all she was good for that made her snap.
‘I’m going to have to tell him how I feel.’ She ruffled Dougal’s ears as he lay at her feet. With Charles caught up in admin work, something she couldn’t help him with, she’d returned to his private quarters. It didn’t stop him plaguing her thoughts.
Since coming here Charles had dominated her every waking moment, and a lot of the sleeping ones. It was no wonder when he was the reason she’d come here. He was always going to be her baby’s father. For her own peace of mind she was going to have to face the consequences of these feelings, even if it meant the end of the affair.
‘At least I’m not the only who’s fallen for him.’ As a last resort to stop Dougal running riot in the clinic in his pursuit of Charles, Esme had suggested using one of his old shirts as a comforter for the pup. It had done the trick. The scent of his reluctant master, lining his basket, settled him until the man himself was available. If things didn’t work out Harriet might have to steal some of Charles’s clothes to take back to London and do the same.
‘It’s a poor substitute for the real thing, isn’t it?’ Although, like the smitten pup, she was sure she’d tire quickly of the imitation.
Dougal snuffled deeper into the shirt, inhaling the scent she knew was intoxicating. They both just wanted to be with him. Unfortunately, it seemed he was only prepared to tolerate either of them on his terms. Yet Harriet had seen him soften towards the dog, sacrificing one of his shirts and fussing over Dougal when he thought she wasn’t looking. He was getting used to sharing his space and she hoped that would extend to her. After everything he’d been through with his family, the personal struggles he’d shared with her, it was possible he was simply as scared as she was about getting hurt and losing someone else close.
Dougal let out a pitiful whine.
‘It’s time to be brave. We’ve got to show Charles what he could have here. A real family.’ She took the dog lead from the hook behind the door and clipped it to Dougal’s collar.
‘Let’s go for a walk.’
Either he’d already learned what the ‘W’ word meant or he’d picked up on Harriet’s renewed optimism, but Dougal was panting with anticipation and jumping at her to hurry up and open the door.
She was going to have a word with Esme about taking Dougal on permanently on Charles’s behalf. He’d be the family pet their child could grow up with and a commitment to her future at Heatherglen, where she was more than a staff member or a lover. She wanted to be here as a valued part of Charles’s beloved home.
* * *
Charles couldn’t wait to get back to Harriet after work. Things between them had been strained since his faux pas that morning and he intended to make amends. It had taken a lot to persuade her this was the place for her and their baby and it wouldn’t take much for her to change her mind again. Joking that she was moving here to be a lady of leisure, or pleasure, wasn’t going to do much to keep her onside.
As he stood at the window he could see Harriet walking Dougal outside with Max and Esme. His sister and her new beau were effortlessly comfortable together, hand in hand. Whereas he and Harriet veered back and forth in their affections.
Although history didn’t paint him in the best light, they shouldn’t have to struggle to want to be together in the early days of a relationship. It wasn’t something that should have to be forced. Yes, they were compatible in bed, they always had been, but outside that confined space there was more than a physical distance between them.
There was always an excuse or a disagreement between them, sending her running after they’d made love. She was holding back from him and that wasn’t a good place from which to start a relationship.
‘Hey.’ He greeted Harriet with a kiss on the cheek. It was all he could do not to pull her in for a full make-out session after spending all day thinking about her.
The slight uneasiness he could detect in the way she was twisting Dougal’s lead around her fingers and the sidelong look she gave his sister stopped him. Clearly, she hadn’t been pining for him in the same way as the pup pawing at his trouser leg desperate for his attention.
‘Hello. I thought I’d take him out for some fresh air this afternoon.’ Harriet wasn’t as hesitant about showing affection to the other male in her life as she showered the pup with kisses and petting. ‘I didn’t have anything else to do.’
He caught hold of her arm before she could follow Esme and Max inside. ‘We could go out somewhere for dinner, if you like.’
The thing he didn’t want was for her to get bored after only a couple of days here. Although he’d forgotten it over the years, there was a world outside Heatherglen.
Harriet moved on past him. ‘Some other time perhaps. I have some things I have to sort out with your sister.’
She didn’t elaborate or even acknowledge his desire to take her out. He was getting the brush-off.
‘Is there something wrong?’ He’d rather know now than go on pretending until after the baby was born.
‘Wrong? No. I have to take Dougal in and feed him. Excuse me.’ She ducked her head under his arm and scooted inside, trailing Dougal, who was fighting to stay by Charles’s side. At least someone wanted to be with him.
Charles had that same horrible emptiness inside that he’d had that day he’d realised he was jeopardising Harriet’s future happiness by making her follow him to Heatherglen. It was happening all over again. Today should have been proof that neither he nor Heatherglen were good for her.
Her time in London was precious, a whirlwind of activity. By dangling pro
mises of a better life for their child he’d emotionally blackmailed her into agreeing. Only to have her spend her days walking stray dogs and slipping between his sheets when he wasn’t at work. He’d virtually bribed her with that promise of a research facility. It was something he’d been considering since Bryony had come to the clinic but the prospect of having Harriet as part of the team made it even more of a priority.That kind of opportunity would grab someone as ambitious as Harriet, but how long would it take to complete? What could he offer her in the meantime?
He banged his head against the doorframe. He’d been the worst kind of fool, a selfish one. This time running the clinic and the estate had made him forget the implications of dragging someone into it along with him. These years in isolation were worth nothing if he hadn’t learned his lesson and he stole Harriet’s life anyway for his own benefit.
It wasn’t for him to tell her she’d be better off here when he knew nothing of her existence beyond these walls. Only what he’d imagined, and that was never going to be something he considered more fulfilling than this when it meant he’d lose her.
This trial run was supposed to have been a test for her to work out what she wanted. No matter how he tried to convince her otherwise, it didn’t include him or Heatherglen. Not long term. He was fine for a holiday fling, but her trust in him hadn’t recovered and it never would as long as he continued to ignore what was best for her.
It suited him having her, the woman he loved, on site, looking forward to raising their child together at his family home. Exactly the sort of selfish behaviour that had driven his father and brother to their deaths. He couldn’t bear responsibility for destroying the lives of any more of his loved ones.
Okay, Harriet wasn’t in immediate danger but being somewhere she didn’t want to be, with someone she didn’t love, would be like a slow, painful death. Like the one she’d told him her mother had suffered. An existence she’d sworn she’d never submit to. He was making her follow in those footsteps and sacrifice her identity for his sake.
Charles had made that difficult decision to end things after his father’s death because it had been the right thing to do for Harriet. Now it wasn’t her feelings about him clouding her judgement, it was those she had for the baby. At his prompting. He didn’t believe she was capable of loving him again and it was his fault she was pregnant. If he’d used contraception or common sense, she would never have tracked him down again.
As much as he hated to say it, the Charles who’d set her free the first time had been a better man than the one he’d been recently.
* * *
Harriet would’ve loved to have gone out on a proper date with Charles. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d made time for dinner, or even a movie, with someone. Since reconnecting with him they’d spent their quality time together in bed and though she wasn’t complaining, it would be nice to venture out as a couple. That getting to know each other stage was needed more than ever when they were such different people from before.
She was sure they’d get another chance for a bit of fun away from Heatherglen now she was making plans for a permanent move. Taking on the responsibility of a family pet would show Charles she wanted to be here long term with their family.
‘I’m so happy for you both.’ Esme’s eyes were shimmering with happy tears as she hugged Harriet, then scooped Dougal up for a cuddle.
‘I’m not sure your brother will feel the same but he’s more fond of this one than he’ll admit.’ Harriet had come to Esme’s quarters to discuss the adoption. Her living space at the far side of the castle was perfect for having secret puppy conversations.
She wanted to surprise Charles with the news later. It had been on her mind about Dougal for a couple of days but seeing Esme at work, training and teaching Dougal, and her, a few basic commands had convinced her they could tame this little one. After all, he’d become part of the family too.
‘Being honest about his feelings isn’t a strong point for Charlie boy, but I can see the difference it has made to him, having you here. I’m not about to interfere in whatever is going on between you two but it’s obvious you’re in love.’
‘It is?’
‘It’s great having my big sis back again.’
Harriet had been so distracted by her relationship with Charles she’d neglected the one she should’ve been cultivating with Esme. She’d never supposed the few meet-ups they’d had during uni years would’ve had any lasting impact on Charles’s teenage sister but clearly Esme had seen it differently.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch.’ Harriet rested her hand on Esme’s, wishing she’d attempted to maintain some sort of communication over the years. She’d simply assumed she was no longer welcome at Heatherglen in any shape or form.
Esme shrugged. ‘You weren’t to know I’d put you on a pedestal and turned you into the big sister I’d always wanted. I was devastated when Charles said you’d gone, and the wedding was off. I had no idea what had happened. Only that I’d lost you on top of Nick and Dad. I was angry at you, and Charles, for quite some time.’
‘I’m sorry. I was so devastated by the break-up I wasn’t thinking about anyone’s feelings except my own.’ Poor Esme had been forgotten about in the midst of the family tragedy and drama. It explained some of the behaviour Harriet had heard about during Esme’s teenage years.
‘I think we were all floundering back then. Hopefully we’ve found what we’ve been looking for.’ She glanced at the ring on her pinkie finger.
‘You and Max certainly seem very happy.’ She and Charles had some way to go yet but there was time before the baby came to work out those issues that got in the way every time they got close.
‘It’s a promise ring. We want to take our time.’ Her excitement was evident, even in Esme’s hushed tones. It sounded as though she was afraid to say it out loud and jinx things. Harriet could empathise. She didn’t take anything for granted when it came to affairs of the heart.
‘Good idea. Congratulations.’ This time Harriet instigated the hug.
With Esme confiding in her it felt as though they’d formed their own secret club. A sisterhood. Suddenly thoughts of girlie gossip and shopping trips filled her head. Neither were things she did on a regular basis, but she’d always thought she’d been missing out. It was the promise of spending time with Esme and extending that notion of family that held so much appeal.
‘We’ve all got so much to look forward to and Heatherglen is beginning to feel like a real home again. Can you imagine what it’s going to be like when the baby gets here?’
Harriet didn’t have the heart to express her concerns regarding Charles’s commitment to her personally. She hoped that was something they could work out and signing up as Dougal’s new guardians would show Charles she was thinking of them as a family already.
That fizz of excitement Harriet had been trying to keep under control was bubbling to the surface now she had someone else’s enthusiasm to expand on.
‘I can’t wait until next Christmas and being part of everything here. First I need to talk to Charles and let him know about the plans I’m making.’ By this time next year, she’d expect to be fully settled. She and Charles would have taken some time off work to spend time with the baby for its first Christmas.
It was impossible not to get carried away by the idea of family in Esme’s company, when she thrived on it. Each of them had suffered in their own way over the years but finally the planets were coming into alignment.
* * *
‘Harriet?’ Charles knocked on the bedroom door and waited for a response. He’d already checked the kitchen and lounge, but there was no answer from Harriet’s room either. There’d been no sign of Dougal either since their return. He thought that by the time he’d showered and changed she’d have finished whatever she’d wanted to talk to Esme about without him present. A matter that wounded him more than i
t should.
She could talk to anyone about whatever she pleased, but it highlighted the growing distance between them if she couldn’t confide in him.
He would do his best to reassure her she’d have whatever support she needed when the baby came, if that was all that was keeping her here.
‘Are you there?’ He inched the door open in case she was simply avoiding him, but the room was empty.
He took a seat on the end of her bed, expecting her to come back at some point. He didn’t want to invade her privacy, but the partially unpacked bag was sitting nearby. She was living out of her luggage and ready to run at a moment’s notice. He was hoping his news would give her a better sense of security here.
The pitter-patter of puppy paws sounded down the corridor and the anticipation of facing Harriet made his stomach flip.
‘We’re going to have to face the music at some point, Dougal. Let’s hope Charles is in a better mood than usual.’
He got to his feet, suddenly feeling like the intruder he was as he unintentionally eavesdropped on her talking to the dog. Harriet hadn’t always seen him at his best, but he was doing his best to win her over.
‘Charles? What are you doing here?’ She pulled up in the doorway, so startled by his appearance that she dropped the dog lead from her grasp.
Cue Dougal and his over-affectionate fascination with Charles’s trouser leg. This was one time they didn’t require his canine antics providing some light relief.
‘Can we do something about this dog so we get five minutes’ peace to talk properly?’ If this moment proved to be a turning point in their relationship, he didn’t want it tainted by the memory of her being more interested in the dog than him.
‘Okay. Sure.’ She stared at him intently for a few seconds before retrieving Dougal and calling on a passing Esme to come and take care of him for her.
‘I know I upset you with that stupid comment about being the lady of the house this morning so I put in a few calls to Fort William Hospital. I have a few contacts and I made enquiries on your behalf about transferring there.’