by Sophia Gray
“Why?”
“Do it, Janessa. Make it sound normal. Got it?”
“Ye-yes,” I stammered, shaking as he handed me my cell phone.
“Mrs. Peaches? I’ve decided to take a weekend trip. Would you mind terribly watching my house for me?”
“No problem, honey. I miss the days when I used to just go on impromptu road trips. Enjoy yourself and be safe.”
“I will. Thanks.”
I had barely finished when he took the phone from me, ending the call and stuffing it in his pocket. He picked up my bag and grabbed my arm, leading me into the garage.
“Give me your car keys.”
I fished them from my pocket and handed them to him. He unlocked it and put me into the passenger seat, warning me not to move as he walked around and got behind the wheel. It had begun to get dark outside as the garage door opened and we backed out of my driveway. Looking around, I saw that no one was out to even give my departure a second thought. I felt a sadness sweep over me. So, this was how it would all end. No one would pay for my father’s death and probably no one would pay for mine, which was most likely very near.
“Where are you taking me?”
“Damn it, Janessa. Just stop with the fucking questions,” he barked at me, his eyes never looking away from the road that unfolded ahead of us.
We were headed out of town, away from his side of it and into only he seemed to know where. I watched the miles unfold as town after town passed by my windows. It was late when we finally stopped, hundreds of miles away and in a small fishing village on the coast. My heart pounded as the car left the road, the tires crunching noisily down a deserted gravel road that ran parallel to the cliffs on one side and thick forest on the other. It wound back into the woods for a short stretch before ending in front of a small cabin that appeared deserted.
So, this was it. This was where it would all end for me. My mind raced with options. I could try to run, but out here, where would I go? I could run for the cliffs, jump. Wasn’t it better to end myself than give him the satisfaction? How could I have believed this man had ever had any feelings for me? He had no feelings at all, for me or anything else. Damian Diaz was every bit the monster he proclaimed himself to be.
Chapter Thirty-Six
“Sit. I’ll build us a fire.”
“A fire to die by. How quaint,” I uttered sarcastically.
“What? What are you talking about, Janessa?”
“If you are going to kill me, then just stop tormenting me. Just do it and let me have some peace.”
“Kill you? Is that what you think I plan to do?”
“Of course. I tried to feed you to the DEA. That’s what you believe, isn’t it?”
“No, Janessa. I don’t believe that. You lack the cunning to play ball with the DEA. They took advantage of the fact that you believe in the system, believed that they were the good guys.”
“What are we doing here, then, D?”
“We are hiding, Janessa. They did tell you the truth. Roberto Suarez did kill your father. Simon confirmed it before he went after him.”
“Confirmed it how?”
“You don’t want to know that. Let’s just say he has skills that you are best never knowing about. People talk when he wants them to.”
“Why are we hiding, then?”
“Because the DEA always has a backup plan. They had hoped you would spark me into action by telling me about Suarez. They assumed my need to prove something about rats would spark me into killing him and they would have me where they wanted me. When you sent Simon, instead, that plan back fired, but they still had options. They could have taken Simon and used him exactly as they intended to use Roberto, to bring me down in order to knock some time off his sentence.”
“I can’t see Simon doing that.”
“He wouldn’t, but the DEA thinks they can get anyone to turn with the right incentive. Simon is an expert when it comes to getting in, getting the job down and getting out. He shot Roberto point blank and walked away before they even knew what was happening. They’ll only piece it together through surveillance footage and by that time, he’ll be long gone.”
“Then Roberto is dead.”
“Yes, but not because you ordered it. Roberto is dead because I told Simon to go ahead with it. It was only when he saw all the DEA scattered in what they seem to feel were covert locations that he cottoned on that it was a set up. He did it anyway, because we couldn’t afford for Roberto to do exactly what the DEA told you he would do.”
“Then you are safe. Roberto is out of the picture and you know who the other members are. You just have to finish clearing the club of them.”
“No. I’m done.”
“What do you mean, you’re done?”
“I’m tired of this game. I’ve been in it too long and I just want it to end.”
“Then what? What will you do?”
“Something that I never thought I’d ever do, but now believe is my only option if I want to live in peace.”
“And that is?”
“Give the DEA what they want.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The DEA wants the Black Aces gone. They want as many heads on a platter as they can get and for us to disappear so that they don’t have to acknowledge that while we might not be strictly lawful, we play an important part in the community. We are part of the commerce here, the seedy part, but a part of it. When we are gone, someone will take our place and they know that, but what they need is a notch on their belt that shows they did their job and put some bad men away.”
“And you’d give them that satisfaction somehow?”
“No, not in a million years. But I will give it to the ATF. The rebels who are trying to take me down, they are running a side operation selling some pretty heavy artillery. That is why they have done all this. It was a business I knew nothing about until I started digging to see where missing money was going and to help you find your father’s killer. It’s the reason they need me out of the way. I never allowed that to go on and never would. Dealing a few drugs is one thing, but gun running opens us up to a lot of heat. Better to remain a bit lower key and left alone.”
“I still don’t follow.”
“Roberto Suarez killed your father, but he wasn’t the one who ordered it. He was sent to do it by the other men in that group. That is something that would have never been proven, something they would never pay for, but they can pay heavily for other crimes. I have evidence linking them to the guns, other murders, payoffs, you name it. I’ll give you all of that to take to the ATF.”
“So, all the men involved would pay some price for my father’s death.”
“Yes.”
“And you? What happens to you?”
“I’ll have to disappear.”
“The evidence, does it somehow implicate you, as well?”
“If it doesn’t, they would find a way. I was never directly involved in it, but there were instances where I was lied to and unknowingly did things that lent a hand in the process. It’s enough to get a conviction and I can promise you that I wouldn’t make it out of whatever stay in prison I was given. I have no choice but to leave if I do this.”
“I can make a deal with them. A deal that I will only give them the evidence if they give you immunity from prosecution.”
“That changes nothing, Janessa. There will still be plenty of people out there who want to take me down for ratting out the club. I’m a marked man either way.”
“Then don’t do it. I don’t need justice for my father anymore. This has all just gotten too crazy. I don’t want it anymore.”
“I want it. I’d rather disappear and not have to look over my shoulder all the time than spend my nights sleeping with one eye open, wondering when someone was going to get the one up on me and end me or someone I care about. I’ve lost way too many people as it is.”
“I don’t want to lose you, D.”
“You can’t lose what you never had
, Janessa.”
His words cut me to the bone. How could he just dismiss what we had shared so easily, as if it meant nothing to him. It hurt more than words could say, but I steeled myself and nodded.
“Okay, D. I’ll do it.”
“Good girl. I’ll need for you to stay here. There is plenty of food and wood for the fireplace. No one knows about this place and no one will bother you. Just get some sleep, and I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
My tears had stopped. I felt like I was dead inside, but somehow still breathing. I was just a tool for him to get some final revenge on those who had crossed him and to get far away where he could start over, perhaps with a fresh crew in a new place. Still, I would do as he asked because I loved him. Despite everything, I still knew that much to be true.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I was surprised that sleep came so easily to me. I had paced for a while after D left and only lay down out of boredom. There were no amenities in the house. No books, no television, not even an FM radio. D still had my phone and I wasn’t sure it would have gotten a signal way out here even if he had left it. I guessed exhaustion had taken over as I lay down and fell into a deep sleep. I dreamed of my father, of better days, eating lunch together at Mr. Carroway’s place and walking along the docks in the afternoon.
I awoke to sunshine streaming in through the windows. There was still no D. Around noon, I decided to try and eat, making myself a bowl of tomato bisque I had found in the large selection of canned goods in the pantry. The cabin was stocked like a survivalist camp, with dry goods and bottled water. I guessed, in some aspect, that was exactly what this place was. D’s survivalist camp.
It was near nightfall when he finally returned, and I had begun to worry that something had happened to him and I would be trying to walk out of this place come sunrise again. At least there was a road to guide me I had surmised. It was a relief on many levels when I saw the headlights of my car pulling back up to the front of the cabin. Still, I didn’t dare unlock the door. His key in the lock caused me to catch my breath, releasing it when I saw him walk through the door.
“I brought you some food. I know the selection here is limited. I thought we might have a decent meal together before we part ways.”
So that was it, then? He was going to bring me what I needed to finish what I had set out to do and anything that had happened along the way was just irrelevant. It was as if I didn’t know him at all, and I guessed I really didn’t when it came right down to it. I never had. I had somehow managed to fall in love with a stranger who only had concerns for himself. Even now, he was giving me what I wanted in order to get a fresh start for himself.
“Sounds good. What did you bring?” I asked, trying to sound as unconcerned as he seemed to be.
“Roast chicken, winter squash, garlic mashed potatoes and a nice bottle of pinot grigio.”
“I’ll get some plates.”
I busied myself pulling plates from a nearby cabinet and washing them to remove the dust that had collected on them. It had apparently been a while since the cabin had been used.
“Who does this cabin belong to, by the way?”
“I bought it with cash a few years ago when I first began thinking about getting out of the club. It’s in the name of a trust so that it can’t be traced back to me. I haven’t been out here since I first bought it until a few weeks ago. I came out to stock it with supplies but didn’t get a chance to do much cleaning, but I guess you noticed.”
“It’s a bit rustic.”
“Yeah. Anyway, let’s eat.”
We sat down with our food and began to eat, trying to make light conversation and only achieving a sort of awkwardness that indicated silence might be more comfortable. Instead, I turned the conversation back to the plans at hand.
“So, what is this evidence you have?”
“I don’t want to talk about that. It will speak for itself. Everything you need is in the trunk of your car in two boxes. Tomorrow morning, get up and drive out of here with it. Take it directly to the ATF building downtown. Do not stop anywhere, not at your house, the bank, anywhere. I’ve topped off the gas and fluids in your car and checked the tires, so there is no need for you stop anywhere along the way.”
“Where should I take you?”
“You won’t be taking me anywhere. You’ll leave me here.”
“So, this is where you will be hiding? I can come here if I need to see you?”
D laid down his fork and took a deep breath before looking up at me. I could see that haunted look in his eyes again as he seemed to struggle for the right words and finally answered me.
“No. I will not be here. I will be leaving shortly after you do. I’ve already made arrangements to be far away from here even by the time you arrive in Portsmouth. You and I will not see one another again, and you will get on with your life, the life you should have already been living instead of trying to take on the case of your father’s murder.”
“You don’t have to do this, D. I don’t understand why you can’t stay and just take down the men yourself as you and Simon intended to.”
“I simply don’t want to anymore, Janessa. I want to give this to you. It will help you to find your own peace at having brought your father’s killer to justice, not just the one who actually did the deed, but all of the ones who were responsible. It will bring you closure. It will bring the families of the others closure as well, I suppose. You can let it go and have a good life.”
I wanted to tell him that I couldn’t have a good life without him, that I loved him, but I couldn’t make myself do it. He had made it clear that he didn’t love me, and I refused to let our final discussion be one in which I just looked like a bigger schmuck. I did have at least a modicum of pride left.
“You could just walk away, not implicate yourself in having brought down any of the club members.”
“No. This is what I’ve chosen to do. It’s almost as good as done, Janessa. You just need to put the final pieces of it into place and let the ATF do the rest.”
“Where will you go?”
“You know I am not going to tell you that. The less you know about it, the better. People will be looking for me, and it’s best they think you and I parted ways ages ago. It’s hardly as if they will recognize you on the street. You look nothing like you did the first time we met.”
I wanted to ask him if that was a bad or good thing, but realized it was just my insecurity asking for compliments. What was the purpose really? Either he would admit that he wasn’t attracted to the real girl next door I had reverted to or he would say that he still was. One would hurt, the other would hurt just as much. He was lost to me and nothing would change that.
“I guess you are doing what you feel is best for yourself,” I said finally.
“I’m doing what needs to be done. Simple as that. Finish your food and let’s try to get some sleep. I’ll take the sofa.”
The thought of sleeping beneath the same roof with him and not being able to touch him pretty much insured that no sleep would come, but I finished what I could of my food and helped him clear away the dishes, retiring early to the bedroom as he made himself at home on the sofa near the fire he had built for the cool night ahead of us.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
By sunrise, I had hardly slept a wink. Dozing off and waking periodically, usually driven by a strange series of dreams that spanned my childhood, teenage years and adulthood. They had culminated in my father’s funeral, my standing over his casket and crying as I said my last goodbyes. I was sure it was just my subconscious brain finding a way to close this chapter of my life.
I felt bone weary and bleak spirited as I tossed my legs over the side of the bed and stood. I could smell bacon wafting in from the small kitchen and got dressed, pulling my hair up in to a high ponytail and putting a bit of lotion of my face. I didn’t feel like doing much more than that this morning. I had no one to impress and might as well appear as bla
nd as I felt.
“Eat some breakfast before you go.”
“Yes, Mom,” I said a bit sarcastically.
“Just making sure you don’t decide you need to stop and eat along the way. It is important that you get this done as quickly as possible.”
“Of course.”
We ate breakfast in silence. I wasn’t really hungry, but forced myself to eat the most of it before returning to the bedroom to toss my things in my bag while he tidied up in the kitchen. When I came out, he was standing there waiting for me.
“Well, this is it then, Janessa. Take care of yourself. I’m sure that you’ll do great as soon as you put all of this behind you.”