“But I summoned you!”
Kimi finally got fed up with the girls whining, turning from the kitchen counter where she was cutting up carrots with a butcher knife to slide up next to the girl, placing the edge of the blade against her neck.
“And don’t think I will ever forgive you for that! I liked my life the way it was just fine thank you very much! Now I’m stuck in an alternate dimension connected to the past of my world. On a timeline I am not even sure is my own! I’ve been pulled into this giant game of balance I barely have a grasp of, and already had my first encounter with magical creatures I ended up killing.
“I killed hundreds of them mind you. Me, who has never once killed anything on purpose before! I even capture spiders and set them free outside instead of stepping on them. I can watch a chicken being plucked or a rabbit being gutted and skinned, but I can’t watch it actually being killed. I haven’t stopped being scared out of my mind since I got here, and no matter how much information I get, that feeling doesn’t go away. I sometimes think I’m walking the tightrope of crazy and any little thing will send me over the edge. And all you can think about is yourself! How the situation can benefit you! You’re lucky I don’t slit your throat right now just out of spite you useless little twit.”
Maria’s eyes were as large as saucers as Kimi struggled to keep from pressing down on the blade. She knew it really wasn’t the girls fault. Grell and Joel had explained it all as best they could, based on the limited knowledge they knew. But ever since she had come here, that cool collected part of herself seemed to have gone on vacation. Grell said it was this reality's fault. Since it was made up of magic, her non-magical body wasn’t used to the charged energy in the air. So it would do strange things until her body got used to it. This rapid mood swing from logical to emotional was just one of the many changes that overcame her because of that magic. When Maria opened her mouth to say something, Kimberly pressed a little harder, a small fleck of red appearing on her white skin.
“Not. A. Word. Get out of my sight.”
The moment Kimi took the blade away, Maria fled. Kimberly set the knife down next to the carrots, gripping the counter and letting out a long breath. Her body shook with reaction to what she had just done. Her eyes closed as she tried to find that calm center, trying to recite Pi in her head as far as she could.
“I’m not the one to say this, but go a bit easy on her.”
Kimberly grabbed the knife, whirling to point the tip at whoever was behind her. Grell didn’t even blink at her reaction just waiting for her to un-tense and lower the weapon before taking the three steps needed to remove the knife from her hand. She set it to the side once more, pulling Kimberly into her chest to stroke her hair.
“Maria is still young, just like you. She’s led a different kind of life, try to understand that. She really doesn’t see anything wrong with thinking about herself first and foremost. Life here is a struggle to survive sometimes. And there is an unspoken pecking order based on how powerful your magic is. For Maria, who is a fourth generation, she is expected to be a strong mage just like her mother, her grand-father, and her great grandfather. All of them were, and are, Grand Wizards. That means she is expected to be a leader. That one day when Joel finally dies, she is supposed to take up the mantle of protecting this entire town.
“Her age has nothing to do with it either. If Joel were to die tomorrow, she would be expected to take up that mantle. That is a very tall order for a seventeen year old girl. What you see as her being self-centered, is in reality, her way of caring about the future of this town. Without power, no one will listen to her. She won’t be able to rush to the aid of anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in a hiccup like you were yesterday. Without power, she won’t be able to get other cities to listen either. People from other towns won’t migrate here to marry our people and in the end our people will move away where they can be protected. Because it is the Grand Wizard who holds the magical barriers that protect the town from attack at all times. Being a Grand Wizard is a very demanding job that not just anybody can do.”
“I know, I know. Joel explained it all to me. Along with the contract and a bunch of other stuff. It’s just--- I don’t know what it is honestly. I’m scared and confused. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m ready to break. Intellectually I know it is my body trying to get used to this new reality, but there is something more to it. I just don’t know what it is. And her constant badgering doesn’t help. It reminds me of girls I know at home and I can’t stand it.”
“I know dear, I know. My father was a Phaser, from the year 1990. He had some of the same complaints as you. He was already twenty-one when he got pulled over, but he was just as scared. Well, that’s what my mom said anyway, I only ever remembered him as strong and confident. Even when he found out the timeline he came from was a dead one because of a failed quest, he never faltered or broke down.”
“A dead one?”
“It means the future he came from was no more. The failed quest re-wrote history. Meaning everything was different. Everyone and everything he knew was no more. Many were never born, and those that were, led completely different lives. Within a week, he faded away into nothingness. He was a paradox, coming from a world that no longer existed, he too didn’t exist. The magic kept him from fading away immediately, but he knew it was coming. I watched him disappear right before my eyes, like a ghost. Not die mind you--- just cease to be. Because we were born on Atlantis, me and my sister didn’t disappear, we were part of the magic.”
“Am I going to disappear too?”
“Perhaps. If the Grand Quest fails, the future you come from will probably be changed. It will probably become a dead line, but I don’t know for sure.”
“And if I make a contract, will that stop me from disappearing even if the quest fails?”
“No. That which does not exist, will not exist. You would be tied to the magic through your partner, but you would not be of the magic. You too would fade within a week, just like hundreds of others before you.”
Kimberly felt the tears running down her cheeks as she clutched Grell’s loose vest. The weight of everything being thrust upon her was just too much. It was as if this whole world was pushing her to make a contract and go out on this Grand Quest. As if saying she had to do everything she could to make it succeed or she would cease to exist. The fear she felt overwhelmed her on a whole new level, but Grell just held her in a comforting embrace. Kimberly wiped some of the wetness from her eyes with a sniff, resting her head against Grell’s chest before saying anything more.
“Why did you become a mediator?”
“A few reasons dear. The first was to provide for my sister. Atlantis isn’t some utopian place like you might believe. True there is no famine, or homeless, or jobless. But not everyone is equal either. I came from a low class family, what you might call poor. Mother and father died while I was still young, so it was left to me to take care of my little sister. I left school behind, and took up a job as a cleaner. The same one my mother had once had. I never graduated, even though I swore to myself I would go back one day and finish. I gave up my friends, my sports, everything that I enjoyed.
“And I hated her for it. I secretly loathed the fact that I had to take care of her. I knew it wasn’t her fault, but I still secretly harbored that grudge. It was an ever present weight on my shoulder. I still loved her, don’t get me wrong, but those feelings made it hard for me to really show it. So when she turned fourteen, the age you can live on your own, I put my name in as a volunteer. I just wanted to get away from her. I felt if I stayed, even if she moved away, I would still harbor that darkness. I was eighteen, and a bit foolish, just like everyone is at that age I suppose.
“Shortly after I signed up, my sister said she was getting married. Oh how we argued then. It seems a bit silly to me now. I felt she was making light of all the sacrifices I had made. She had no job, surviving off the little I made. And she was foolishly getting married right out
of school to a lazy guy who had big dreams but little motivation or ambition. Always talking about one get rich scheme or another that any sane person could tell would never work. But she got suckered into his talk.
“That fight was the first and only time I hit my sister, and I mean really hit her. Using my ability to transform my skin into solid rock to help. It happened because she said I was just jealous because I wasn’t married yet. The funny thing is, she was partially right. I wanted romance too. Wanted to fall in love like every other girl. But I didn’t have time for such things. Not if I wanted to keep her clothed and fed. The other part was, I wasn’t interested in the few men I did come in contact with. It galled me that she was right, that was why I hit her. She had never been much of a fighter, so I beat her good. Put her in the hospital with a few broken bones and a ruptured lung.
“I was summoned four days later. I didn’t even get a chance to say I was sorry, or to say goodbye. Even after all these years, I regret what I did out of a combination of my fear, anger, and grief. I can sooth some of those feelings knowing she was given enough money to elevate her from a low class citizen to a well off one. Able to live comfortably for the rest of her life. I don’t even know if she is still alive, since once we get summoned over here, we are never able to go back or even contact Atlantis again. So I think I know a thing or two about how you might be feeling right now dear.”
“Do you regret it? Becoming a mediator I mean.”
“At times. It is a hard burden to bear, even for someone who volunteered for the job like I did. But I never would have met Joel if I hadn’t been summoned. Living with him isn’t easy all the time, nor was partnering with him. He can be just as stubborn as I am. The way we fight? That used to be how we were all the time back in the day. Only back then, we meant the words we said. And we really were trying to kill each other over some of the stupidest misunderstandings. I’m surprised we ever made it through our initial phase of getting to know and trust each other before our quest started. I’m pretty sure the townspeople were taking bets on whether the two of us would kill each other or marry each other. As you can see, time tells which ones won that bet.
“But it was through our constant fighting that I came to trust, and love, that foolish old man. His motto is live hard and live often. He applies that to everything he does. Putting his all into everything and filing every moment with passion, because you never know when that life will be taken from you. Once I understood that about him, our relationship changed completely. I realized that was what I was missing from my own life-- passion. I’m not just talking about a passion of love, but a passion to express. To throw myself into everything whole heartedly. If I was angry, then it was ok to be angry and show it. Let myself lose with that anger instead of holding it in like I had with my sister. When I fight, fight with everything. And when I love, love with everything.”
Grell pushed Kimberly away, cupping her face gently with one big callused hand and wiping away a tear with her thumb.
“In the end, sometimes the mediator who is summoned doesn’t partner with their summoner. A mage-mediator partnership isn’t just made. It doesn’t just happen because the mediator is summoned. A partnership is forged. Through misunderstandings, arguments, talking it out and even fighting it out. A partnership is one of trust, because the two of you are quite literally putting your life in each other’s hands. Not just for the duration of the quest, but for the rest of your lives. If you survive the quest, you will end up living in the same town, if you marry different people, your kids will be their kids and vice-versa. The two of you just won’t bear to be separated. That is how close such a bonding is. And if your partner dies, it is like half your own soul dies. It’s no wonder that many men-women pairs end up marrying each other. After sharing so much of yourself with the other, how could you bear being with someone else?”
Kimberly looked up the few inches into Grell’s eyes, seeing the way they crinkled with crows feet at the edges.
“W-what do you think I should do? Honestly. Do you think I should contract with Maria?”
“What I think doesn’t matter. What you think does. If you want my honest thoughts, I don’t want you contracting with her. But then again, as Joel has said numerous times, I’m the one that is really overprotective of her, not him. She reminds me much of my little sister Kathy, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes as I did back then. But don’t tell her that, Joel spoils her enough for the both of us. But what I want shouldn’t be a consideration. It is what you need to make yourself feel whole. Only you can decide what that is. Whether that is contracting with Maria or someone else, not contracting at all, or going on the Grand Quest or not. Only you know what you need to do to make yourself feel complete. Feel like you can live with yourself.”
Grell kissed the top of her head, spinning her around and shoving her back towards the counter. “Now, you finish making this stir-fry you were talking about and I’ll go talk to Maria. Well, I’ll try talking to her, but I will probably end up being too harsh and having Joel clean up the mess I make of it. Even at eighty-three, I still seem to make the same mistakes I did when I was a girl. At least this time I have someone to help me when I feel out of my depth.”
With a wink the old woman left the kitchen, leaving Kimi alone with her thoughts. What was she supposed to do? Her life really hadn’t prepared her for this kind of thing. Reading about the crisis of this or that protagonist was so much easier than trying to be one. She felt like all her knowledge was failing her when she really needed it. She didn’t want to die, or fade out of existence. But she didn’t really want to fight either. Being able to change into different people had been fun-- until she had to actually kill. That mindset of an assassin had just taken over. It wasn’t like she was still Kimberly Changa role-playing an assassin-- she was an assassin. It had gone from being just an elaborate role-play to something more real.
She missed her mom too. Had anyone even noticed she was missing yet? How did time work anyway? She had been here for three days now, did that translate to three days in her reality? And was their even any real point to surviving in this world? She could fade away at any moment. Even if she became a mediator and succeeded in the quest, that was no guarantee of safety. What if the quest after that failed? Or the one after that? What kind of life could she lead here really? Marry some mage, or another mediator, learn to live without all the comforts of modern society she was used to. Constantly going out risking her life to try and ensure her reality ended up being the true one or fade away if she didn’t. That really wasn’t any way to live. It was as if every option led to her dying. Or living in fear of that prospect every second. With no hope of ever seeing anyone or anything familiar.
“Kimi! Kimi! Look what Joel jusht taught me to do!”
Jordon rushed in with a potted plant that blazed yellow like sunlight. It wasn’t just a yellow flower, it radiated the color like an aura. He proudly plopped it on the counter next to the food she was cutting up, ignoring the bit of dirt that bounced out.
“It’sh a mood flower! It can tell the mood of anyone who touchesh it. Go ahead, give it a try!”
“I’d rather not. I don’t want to contaminate this food.”
“It will be fine. One touch won’t hurt the food any. I eat shtuff that dropsh to the ground all the time and don’t get shick.”
Before Kimi could stop him, he grabbed her free hand and moved it over to the plant. The instant her finger touched it, the petals turned a wilted black, and the head drooped. The air around it darkened as black literally radiated outwards. Jordon’s smile faded as he let go of her hand. Realizing instantly he had done something he shouldn’t have.
“What’sh wrong?”
“Nothing. I was just letting my mind wander while I cooked and began worrying about silly things.”
“Like what?”
“Oh nothing much really. I was just thinking about home among other things.”
“Ah, you got shad caush you realized
you won’t shee your mom or dad again either. They might not be dead like mine, but they might ash well be becaushe you’re a Phasher.”
“I suppose I need to stop thinking this place is like the society I come from. You’re more grown-up than I keep thinking you are. Well, at least in some ways.”
“I’m shorry. I shouldn’t have made you touch it. You didn’t want me to know.”
“It’s okay, your forgiven. Now why don’t you go listen to Daniel. Isn’t he supposed to be telling stories in the park soon? Dinner will be ready by the time he is done.”
“Okay.”
Kimberly turned back to her work as the boy left, the wilted flower still sitting next to the food. Kimi just managed to move the flower a short distance away before Jordon came running back in to wrap his arms around her, burying his face in her chest.
“You aren’t planning on killing yourshelf like other Phashersh are you? Caush I don’t want that.”
“Don’t worry, I’m too much of a chicken to actually go through with any suicidal thoughts I might have. I was just wallowing in my own pity.”
“Good, caush I don’t want you to leave me. We shtill have my quesht to finish.”
“Why do I get the feeling you just don’t want the quest to end yet and don’t need to go searching anymore?”
“That’sh jusht your imagination. We shtill have two daysh on our Due Date. No one finishesh the quesht on the firsht or shecond day.”
“Right. I’ll pretend I completely believe that.”
Kimberly ruffled the boys head as he grinned up at her. Jordon smiled back, a gleam of mischief in his gaze.
“Now go on and get out of here, if you don’t, I will never finish dinner and Dan will think I kidnapped you away from him.”
“I wouldn’t mind if he thought that.”
Despite his words, Jordon still turned to run out the door. Kimi stopped him as he passed through the archway by calling his name. Kimi chuckled at the way his bottom half kept going and his top half tried to turn around, reminding her of cartoons where the neck stretched impossible long. The lower half of his body caught up with his head, as he came back to stand in the doorway.
Out of Time the Grand Quest Page 7