by Ashley Munoz
I had nowhere to go, and I knew even if I tried to find a place, it would just be a headache I didn’t need at the moment. This way I could take my time and be comfortable for a few months while I figured out my next step.
My mother’s firm grip tightened around my wrist as she pulled me away.
“My son, I love you very much…but I beg you not to do this.”
I hated when she whined like that, as if me not following in her footsteps would somehow save my soul. “Madre, stop. It’s just a house.”
She blanched and looked down at her feet. I was about to walk away when she said, “It’s never just anything with El Peligro. They’ll take your whole life, my son, one I don’t think you even know you’re ready to part with.”
Chapter Five
“Why don’t you just live here?” My mother kept her gaze down on her cell phone while she spoke. I was used to it, but now that I was pregnant, it felt more annoying than usual.
“I’ve already told you why I don’t want to live here. It’s too far, and my first class is at seven thirty in the morning.” I gripped the duffle bag by the handles and moved it toward the door. Gareth, our driver and house manager, jogged across the foyer to grab it from me.
“It only takes half an hour to get to your school from here.” She shook her head, tapping away on her phone. My mother’s blonde hair was styled to perfection as well as her makeup, and somehow, she was already wearing Chanel.
I tried to remember back to when I was younger, back when she wore Walmart brands and we ate at fast food joints, but only if we had a coupon. It was what had endeared my stepfather, Charlie, to her. He had been poor once too, but right around the time we made a break for it to get away from my father, Charlie became a self-made millionaire. She met him on accident while trying to con another man out of money, and she said their story was one for the ages. As quick as it happened, it was something I had no doubt would last forever.
Here she was, almost seven years later, and they were madly in love. He was a widow, and I had instantly wanted to become just like his daughter Mallory because of how untainted she was. You could tell she’d never had to use a gun in order to learn lessons as a child, had never stumbled upon dead bodies. She wasn’t being stalked and watched methodically by a sociopath that shared her DNA.
She was bright and all things good, and I was a moth drawn to her.
“It’s forty-five minutes without traffic. I go to school on weekdays, Mom…that means I would have to hustle out of the mansion by seven in the morning and sit in traffic. I don’t want to do that every day, especially pregnant.”
Her eyes finally flicked away from her screen and darted toward my protruding stomach.
Today I wore a halter maxi dress with sandals. It essentially swallowed my whole body, except my bump. My mother never really spoke about the baby…she wasn’t naturally maternal, even on a regular basis. She was protective, but not maternal. I struggled with her most of the time, especially with the way she treated Mallory. She was always comparing the two of us, and I knew it was because she saw in Mallory what I did…that she was good, and I was not. A tiny lamb tossed in with a wolf pup, and everyone trying to convince us that we were the same. My mother spent too much time trying to play it off to everyone that I had wool instead of fangs…I didn’t understand why she bothered.
“Don’t you think you should hide that a bit more?”
My throat grew tight as her tone chafed along my soul. My hand went to my stomach on instinct, as though I could protect my baby from its grandmother’s brash words.
“No…why would I need to hide it?” I played dumb, though I remembered her words the day I told her I was pregnant.
I’d explained to her and Charlie at the same time, and while my stepfather rushed to hug me and tell me how happy he was, my mother stayed still as stone, her lips thinned, her eyes narrowed into angry slits.
Later that night, she pulled me aside and slapped me across the face.
“You know he’s coming for you. It was the only requirement when we made the deal to be let out of summer visits. Twenty-one and you’re his…what do you think he’ll do with your baby? Why would you bring a child into that world, Taylor? You know better than this…”
I sobbed silent tears and even went to a clinic that next day…but I was already in love with my baby, and I didn’t know how to reconcile that with what she’d said. Somehow, I thought I could figure out a way to get free of the monster I knew as Father.
“So, what then…you said you’ve looked everywhere. What are you going to do?” She finally lowered her cell entirely and watched me with reserved frustration.
I understood it. I had put off living on my own for so long that now it wasn’t even an option. The housing market had imploded, and nearly every available house, apartment, and condo was gone. There was nothing left. Charlie had sold the townhouse complex Mallory and I had shared the year before, as well as the units on either side that had been occupied by his security teams. He had offered to keep a unit available for me, just in case, but I had told him to sell it. I couldn’t live in that big of a space on my own.
Now I felt senseless saying that, or even suggesting that I had options. I was naïve and too inexperienced to know that something trivial like the housing market would end up screwing me over.
“I’ll figure something out, Mom.” Maybe I could look into living in a tent. I could tuck away on the football field while the weather stayed warm, which in North Carolina would be a decent while.
The drive back to school was filled with traffic. It was as though a few thousand extra people had moved to Rake Forge over the summer, and now our roads were entirely overwhelmed. I was probably being dramatic as I had never had to make the drive from my parents’ house so frequently, and usually not on weekdays.
I listened to a podcast about being pregnant, missing my history stations, but now that I was getting so close and I literally knew nothing about bringing a child into the world, I decided to sacrifice my pleasures and beef up my knowledge on becoming a mother.
It was right when the commenter began talking about ligament pain that I saw a familiar-looking sports car.
Juan’s two-seater, red Mustang was parked where my Beamer had sat the previous day. I gripped my steering wheel aggressively as I searched for a different spot. I had been parking in that spot for days now, and it seemed oddly timed that the idiot now had it.
With a huff of frustration, I finally snagged a space in the overflow lot. I pulled my book bag free, along with my water bottle and cell phone. Right as I shut and locked my doors, my phone rang.
Smiling, I pulled the phone to my ear. “Hey sis.”
“Are you ready for your first class?” Mallory asked happily—too happily for not even eight in the morning. Why was she even up so early?
“Do you ever sleep in?” I shuffled my bag to the side and grabbed the handrail, trekking up the concrete steps.
“I’m married to a horny twenty-two-year-old who wakes me up in filthy ways every morning.” She laughed, sounding like she’d taken a bite of something and was now chewing.
“And there’s that little bit about you being a CEO now…” I laughed along with her.
“Oh yeah, and that bit.” She acted like it was nothing, but I knew it had been difficult for my stepsister to take over the New York branch for Charlie. I was silly enough to think it could have been me who did it, like if I somehow had a purpose and something to do then my murderous father wouldn’t come knocking on my door. That or he’d see me as more valuable than just a piece of property to marry off.
My swift walk carried me past the nose of Juan’s sports car, forcing an inferno of frustration to bubble up to the point that I couldn’t hold back.
“So, your best friend is a dick,” I stated evenly, fighting the urge to key the gorgeous cherry coloring of the car.
My sister choked on whatever it was she was chewing. “Uh…what?”
“Se
riously, he’s here on campus. He stole my parking spot, and he’s being…” I bit my tongue, realizing I had never shared with her the cruel words Juan had spoken to me, or our kiss. I couldn’t see what she saw in the prick. They’d been best friends for years, and I still didn’t get it. Why put up with such dickery?
“He’s on campus?” Mal seemed to overlook my drop in the sentence, likely to avoid having to hear gossip about her best friend.
“Yes.” I held my hand out in front of me like she could see me.
“That’s strange…last I heard, he’d landed a spot on the Hornets. Maybe he’s there giving an encouraging speech about how to chase your dreams or something,” Mal guessed, already dismissing the whole thing.
“Maybe he’s dating a teacher and is trying to get in an early orgasm or something,” I offered, biting my lip. The idea of Juan fucking someone caused a strange twinge in my chest.
“No, Juan hasn’t been dating anyone…for like a long time, as far as I know,” my sister said firmly, sounding like she was opening and shutting a door.
“He was hot and heavy with someone at your wedding.”
I hated on way too many levels that I’d noticed him with that girl, and I hated that it had bothered me for months. I hated that the image of his hands on her hips, his fingers on the back of her head, his lips on hers had made me jealous.
“Oh yeah…but that was nothing. Just a fling, like you always have. Juan dumped her right after the wedding, like he didn’t even take her home. It was rude. But he hasn’t dated anyone in like a year, or longer. Now that I think of it, it’s really weird that he hasn’t. I know of at least two girls who were texting and calling him, but I guess he’s not in the right headspace to date.”
I thought back to the kiss we’d shared when I had lied to him right after. I still had no idea why he’d kissed me back or seemed so upset when I pulled away.
“Anyway, I have to go…but tell me you found somewhere to live.”
I cringed, knowing she’d likely freak out if she knew I hadn’t.
“Yeah, I did…I’m still working out all the details, but I’m good.”
Her silence told me she didn’t believe me.
“Okay, well send me the address as soon as you have it.” That was her way of saying she didn’t buy my bullshit. I was drawing close to my first class, so I smiled and said goodbye.
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to dislodge the feeling of defeat. I was currently, technically homeless, and while I knew I could go to a hotel without issue or even go live at home, I didn’t want to. I desired to be more like my sister and stand on my own two feet, especially now that I would be responsible for a baby.
I grabbed for the door as butterflies erupted in my stomach. It had been happening a lot lately, along with tiny little kicks along my abdomen. Two doors in and I was already seeing people I had partied with the year before. Most of my friends were seniors, but a vast number were underclassmen…including the father of my child. It had taken some time to narrow it down, but now I was absolutely positive.
I saw his broad shoulders first and his tousled dark hair second, and even though he hadn’t responded to the text I’d sent to him, I owed it to my child to see if he would agree to a paternity test.
“Holden…” I gently placed my hand on his arm, hoping to turn him. He was engrossed in a conversation with two players from his team and a few girls. They all eyed me warily.
“Taylor…” He turned, his eyes dropping to my stomach immediately. His face turned ruddy, his eyes wild as fear crept in.
“Hey, I was wondering if we could talk?”
“Uh…I have class.” He gripped his neck while frantically searching the hall.
Was he looking for help? I almost laughed at how ridiculous he was being.
“Maybe after class, or later today or something?” Because I didn’t want him to freak out, I added softly, so the others couldn’t hear, “You know, I don’t want anything from you…I just want to know.”
He visibly softened, and his hand came up to cup my hip as he bent down to whisper in my ear. “Okay, yeah…I’ll call you later.”
Then he pressed a kiss to my cheek before walking away. Holden Winters was a pretty decent guy, and honestly, as far as relationships went, he’d probably be the only guy I’d ever had one with. I was positive he was the dad. I had thought back to how often we’d been together and realized it couldn’t be anyone else.
We’d hooked up in his dorm room, then later that day in the locker room…and then the next day in the back of his truck and again at my house. We weren’t exactly thinking clearly; we weren’t drunk, just horny, and if I were truly being honest, I was struggling with the fact that Charlie’s birthday had come up and Mallory had gotten him the perfect gift. The way he looked at her, the photo album she’d gifted him…it was all so sweet. We all passed the images around to view, my mother glancing my way a time or two, as if she’d shield me from seeing what a happy childhood looked like.
It was no secret to me that Mallory had a good childhood. Even with losing her mother at the age of ten, she had two parents who loved her unfathomably. I had purchased Charlie a watch, and it garnered a fake smile and a half-hug from him. He saved all his big hugs for Mallory, and how could I begrudge him that? Still, it brought out some unhealthy behavior in me, and that weekend, I just needed to feel. So, when the tip of Holden’s cock slipped past my thong, I let him thrust into me over and over. I was on birth control, so I figured it would be fine if he didn’t pull out; besides, the orgasm was so much better when they didn’t have to. My cheeks heated as I considered how reckless I’d been. After our weekend together, we went our separate ways, and I ended up getting really sick and needing antibiotics, which likely was the reason my birth control was ineffective.
Shaking away the memory of my reckless decisions, I moved down the hall and into my class. It wasn’t until I slumped into my chair that I realized someone’s stare was burning a hole through the back of my head.
Chapter Six
Hockey was off the table until I had time to decide on where to go. Inevitably I would move to play within the same division or a different one—hell, I’d even take on a coaching position at a school—but until then, I was figuring out what else I could do to fill the time. I already had my bachelor’s degree, and until I decided what I wanted to do next, I was aiding professors with their extra work, just wasting time until I figured out my next step. I could lie low and just work at my parents’ restaurant, but the closer I was to them, the likelier it was that I got tangled up with the gang that had claimed my biological father’s life. I knew with a little bit of time, I could probably get picked up by another division team along the east coast or leave this area entirely and try somewhere else. That would likely be my best choice, to just leave the east coast, head west, and start a new life, away from my fucked-up family…and away from having to see Taylor get kissed by other guys.
Holden Winters had held her possessively in the hall earlier and kissed her on the cheek, and I knew he’d fucked her close to the time she would have gotten pregnant. I was way too aware of her life, of her absence, and knew he was probably the dad. For whatever fucking reason, that just dug at me. Maybe because it was him she had said she’d been expecting when we had our kiss, or because she’d acted like it was all just an accident. Either way, I hated the guy, and by extension, I resented Taylor for having his baby.
Walking down the street from my parents’ restaurant, I quickly stopped in at my favorite frozen yogurt shop. There were a few students milling about while I eyed the flavors. I didn’t pay any attention to them until I heard my name being called. As I turned, a muted flash of blonde hair caught my attention, those honey strands I knew so well tied up on a head that was bent over a book. It wasn’t Taylor who’d called my name, but her eyes were on me as Angela came into view.
“Juan, oh my god! Where have you been?” Angela exclaimed, tugging on my arm while her two friends stag
gered beside her. They’d already grabbed their frozen treats and were likely on their way out of the restaurant, which was good for me. They wouldn’t stay long.
My eyes kept going to the girl two tables behind her who happened to be watching me with an odd expression. It was the same one she’d had at the wedding when she saw me with Angela. Taylor had been watching us, and for whatever reason I’d wanted to know if it would piss her off if I pulled Angela close and kissed her. I wanted to know if that pink flush that had crawled up her neck would increase if I shoved my hand up Angela’s skirt. Taylor, in the end, had given up nothing except a flash of hurt and a few other odd expressions. No words, and certainly no groveling of any kind, asking if I would forgive her for what she had done to me back in the apartment. Maybe I wouldn’t have cared so much if her lips weren’t the ones I had been stuck fantasizing about, or if it weren’t her eyes that I’d subconsciously sought out at every party and rager I had attended last year.
Letting out a sigh, I ran a hand through my hair and thought of how to answer her.
“Busy…with work and school stuff.” Was there no one else who frequented this fucking shop? I looked around, seeing my earlier observation had been all wrong: only three employees in the back on their phones, and just Taylor sitting amongst the tables. It must have been close to ten, so why the hell was Taylor still there?
“I’ve been texting you.” Angela pawed at my shirt, grasping the black material and tugging. She should have gotten the hint or had enough self-respect not to call me again after I ditched her ass in June. I hadn’t even had sex with her that night, yet here she was…begging for more affection.
“Yeah, I saw that.” My eyes flicked back, seeing that Taylor continued watching us. The last time I tried to use Angela against her, it ended with my number being blocked. Call me crazy, but I wasn’t eager to have her kick me out of her life again. Not that I was in her life, but if I wanted to text her right now, I technically could, and that was a good feeling. Only because it meant I could keep an eye on her for Mallory’s sake.