by Naomi Joy
‘Oh, we go way back,’ he replied, spooning a poached egg from a pan he must have found on his own. Maybe he used to cook for Olivia, too. ‘Do you cook for David?’
He chortled as he answered, ‘Now and then.’ He whistled as he tore off a bunch of spinach and walked over to the sink to wash it. ‘Do you work with him then? Is that right?’
‘Yes. He’s helping me through a rough patch. Hopefully I won’t be here, inconveniencing him, for too long.’
The kettle pinged to signal it was ready. I cut a slice of lemon and a hunk of ginger from the things chef had brought along, and added them to a cup along with the boiling water.
‘Do you want one?’ I offered.
‘No, none for me.’
‘What should I call you, anyway?’ I asked, embarrassed that I’d handled this conversation totally backwards. ‘I’m Ava.’
‘People call me Sheff,’ he answered. ‘I’m from Sheffield, so it’s kind of my nickname and my job. Sheff, like, with an S.’
I nodded an agreement as I moved the hot water up to my lips and blew ripples across the surface. A few moments later Sheff plated up the most divine breakfast, packed up his things and left. I wolfed it down then set off for work, ready to face the day with a delightfully full stomach.
10
Jade
I walked confidently into the meeting room and sat down opposite Ava. She was back at work after just one day away, wearing the blue-black bruise across her face like a badge of honour, acting as though she deserved the same treatment as a war hero returning from front-line action. I didn’t smile at her: I wanted her to know I wasn’t backing down, that I wasn’t prepared to stand for her asking members of our team to ‘keep an eye on me’, and that I certainly wasn’t about to give her special dispensation for her inability to choose a suitable partner. So here we were: head to head.
Ava had called this meeting an ‘emergency catch-up’ and she didn’t even look up from her notes when I walked in, so we sat in an uneasy silence each waiting for the other to break the ice. Then Josh walked in and cut the tension. I smiled nervously, my shoulders hunched in, my heart thudding against my chest. I looked up at him; he was smiling at me too. I melted. It was as though a huge section of a polar ice cap had just broken off and fallen into the sea, and my legs momentarily lost their solidity. I was glad I was already sitting down. When I turned my attention back to the table, Ava was watching me closely.
‘Right, I want to sort our roles for the launch. There’s been a bit of confusion over who’s doing what and I’d like to take this opportunity to clarify everything.’ She delivered her opening monologue staring right at me.
The glass walls of her office were a thin veil to the rest of the floor and no doubt a few people would be keeping their eyes on this meeting, interested to observe the dynamics between this awkward threesome play out. Most of the office knew the headlines: I was into Josh, Ava and I were currently at each other’s throats, and there was little hope of the three of us working together to pull off a successful launch. But there was plenty they didn’t know: that Josh liked me now, that Ava was playing in the gutter to get the promotion to Team Head over me, that I wasn’t going to go down without a fight.
Ava continued her opening monologue and I breathed in deeply, the smell of my just-smoked morning cigarette clinging to my clothes.
‘The first collection is the biggest deal for any new brand and we need the entire evening to run without a hitch…’
I’d have to give up smoking soon, I wasn’t sure Josh approved of it, and Kai certainly wouldn’t if he ever found out. In fact, he’d be extremely reluctant to put a full-time smoker at the helm of an activewear account, wouldn’t he? Imagine the negative headline it could create. I berated myself for my own shortcomings. I’d only started smoking to fit in with all the cool girls at the office, but now they’d all switched their twenty-a-day for superfood smoothies and spirulina shots and I’d been left puffing on the toxic sticks I was now addicted to.
‘I want everyone to be happy with their assigned jobs and I certainly don’t want any more slip-ups.’
She said it like Josh and I were keen for slip-ups. God, she was insufferable. Josh didn’t look that bothered, though, and moved his large left hand round his water bottle, lifting it to his mouth. I imagined what it would feel like to be that bottle, so safe in his grip, so close to his lips.
‘I’ll handle Kai and the front row business,’ Ava continued as I imagined myself as a drinks vestibule. ‘Josh, obviously you’ll look after the media—’
I couldn’t be bothered to listen to her any more.
I zoned out her waffling rah-rah-rah, and instead thought about what Josh might message next. Maybe he’d suggest dinner? Or drinks? Dinner would be more his style. He’d probably wear a crisp white shirt with the top couple of buttons undone, a glimpse of his dark chest hair visible, a hint of his impressive pecs beneath. I bet he’d want to go to a steak restaurant… and I’d order the same as him to show how well matched we were. Oh God, I hope he doesn’t like blue cheese sauce, it has to be Béarnaise on a steak, surely?
‘… Is that OK, Jade? So you’ll manage the security team and ticket sales?’
‘Pardon?’ I was still lost in the thought of having to eat blue cheese sauce.
Ava looked up from her notepad, slightly exasperated at having to repeat herself.
‘You’ll do security?’
No. Security wasn’t OK at all, I needed to be close to Kai, I couldn’t miss out on valuable face time with him in the run up to this promotion. Security? Was she serious?
‘Right, and I’m supposed to sit back and let you take all the credit for this launch, am I? While you’re swanning around with Kai and the front row, you’d like me kicking out the riff-raff and autograph hunters with a few bulked-up idiots in ill-fitting suits?’
My reply even took me by surprise. Usually I didn’t just blurt out what my head was thinking, but my meeting with David had put me on edge, ignited the urgency of the competition between us. An awkward pause followed as Ava recovered from my right hook.
‘Well, no, not at all, Jade, that’s why we’re here talking about it. Is there something you’d rather manage?’
I coughed loudly and looked down at my notepad. An idea formed.
‘Well, Jade?’ Ava pressed, testily.
‘It’s just, I’ve already started sorting the front row out with Kai. We spoke on the phone yesterday and he specifically asked me to be his liaison on the night and to keep up the conversation with attendees. You were out of the office yesterday, Ava, you missed quite a lot, and I think it would be weird if I handed over to you now. I don’t think Kai would go for it.’
It was as though I was having an out of body experience. The first time I thought of the lie I’d just told was when I was hearing it along with everyone else. What was I doing? Could I really get away with this?
Josh shuffled awkwardly in his seat as the tension in the room mounted.
‘So why have you waited until now to say anything?’ Ava asked, her voice thick with irritation. ‘Who have you confirmed? How much of the budget have you spent? Why haven’t you consulted anyone else about this? Why haven’t you at least sent me a heads up, a recap, why did you wait until now to say anything? Don’t you think it’s quite important?’
‘Well, if you’d let me get a word in, Ava,’ I retorted.
Her face was a picture. I stuck the knife in. ‘Are you sure you’re OK, by the way? Kai was wondering if your breakup is affecting your work? Do you need some more time off?’
She rapped each of her fingernails quickly on the desk and the bruise on her face darkened.
‘I’d prefer you didn’t talk about my personal life with clients, Jade, it’s not why they pay us and it’s certainly not very prof—’
‘Sorry, Ava.’ I cut her off. ‘But you were the one who brought your personal life into this. You were the one who decided to date some lunatic. You were the one who had to take
time out to deal with it all, so we may as well talk about how it’s affecting the launch. Josh and I need to know if we can’t rely on you.’
She interrupted me. I could see water building in her eyes. The truth hurts. She put on a brave face. ‘So, if I were to call Kai, he’d verify your story? He’d be happy that everything was under control?’
I curled my toes inwards, gathering the material of my tights in the space between. ‘Be my guest,’ rattled off my alter ego with surprising ease. She didn’t say anything, which was remarkable really.
‘So, I’ll look after Kai and the front row, and you’ll manage the security and ticket sales,’ I clarified, staring her down. ‘I’ll send you an update on what Kai and I have agreed after this. I’m sure you’ll be happy.’
I knew I was playing with fire as Ava called an end to the meeting, asking Josh to stay behind. She could easily call Kai today, ask a set of roundabout questions to clarify what the situation was, at which point he’d confirm he hadn’t spoken to me yesterday about being his liaison. If she did that I’d be rumbled, which was why I had to get in there and call him first. Write the history I’d already delivered as fact.
I exaggerated my hips swaying from side-to-side as I left the room, hoping Josh was watching, and hurried back to my desk.
*
As I waited for Kai to answer his mobile, I observed Ava and Josh talking animatedly within the glass walls I’d left behind. Clearly they were discussing me, but what Ava didn’t know was that Josh was on my team now. I picked up a couple of pills from the pot on my desk and swallowed them down just before Kai answered: I needed all the calm I could get.
‘Kai, how are you?’ I asked breezily when he answered the phone. ‘I’ve just been speaking to the team about launch night. Ava’s keen for us to pay a few of the higher-end celebrities to ensure we get at least a few attendees one hundred per cent confirmed for the night—’
He started ranting again about not wanting to pay anyone.
‘Yes, I know, and I agree, but it is better to pay a few so we can be sure at least some famous people will turn up. If there’s some other event on that week that conflicts with us it could be a disaster.’
‘Was this Ava’s idea?’ he asked. ‘You didn’t mention this yesterday.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘I’ve had a chance to think about it. And Ava agrees. We’ve also decided that I’ll be your liaison for the night.’
‘OK then,’ he said. So that was that.
‘Perfect, I’m glad you agree. I’ll send an email to clarify the finer details now.’
*
I checked my watch. Four hours forty-one minutes since I’d written Look at you sliding into my DMs!
Which day, I wondered, would Josh most like to meet for dinner, if he asked? I knew he took part in some sort of American Football practice on a Wednesday, usually went for drinks with his friends on Thursday. Would he cancel these for our dinner? I didn’t know what he did on a Friday. Maybe Friday, then. I looked at my phone. No reply. I turned it to loud so I’d hear as soon as it came in.
Four hours forty-two minutes.
Just then, just as I was counting down the seconds, the loudest and clearest of notification tones erupted, like a volcano dormant for millennia. It had arrived. It had arrived! I breathed in deeply through my nose, out through my mouth, expanded my rib cage, steadied myself, opened my eyes properly.
You excited for the summer party?
The summer party! How had I let this slip my focus? Why hadn’t Georgette reminded me? I had so much weight to lose before then!
‘George!’ I called across the desk. ‘Summer party. We haven’t spoken about it: how long do I have to lose three stone?’
‘Babe, it’s in two days.’
‘What?’ I blabbed, almost ejecting my stomach through my mouth in shock.
‘What’s the big deal? You weren’t bothered when I asked you about it the other day.’
Everything had changed now that Josh and I were talking, now that there was a chance the party could end in our first kiss!
‘What are those weird tea things you use? Would they work in time?’
‘The laxatives?’
‘They’re laxatives?’
‘Yeah. You just shit yourself for a week basically. They do work, though.’
‘Gracious. No. That sounds awful.’
‘Just be happy in your own skin then babe, embrace your curves and that. It’s cool now anyway.’
Yes, all very well for you in your tiny size tens to tell me to embrace my flab. I knew what George meant, of course: plus-size models are all over billboards on the tube nowadays. But it seemed to be all or nothing, no one represented the awkward in between phase, did they? The women not big enough to be plus size and not small enough to be ‘thin’. Where was the slightly flabby model with a doughy, but fair, midriff? Where was the model who’d just let herself go a bit? Where was the model who put on a stone at university that went entirely to her face and double chin? She wasn’t there. And you want to know why? Because no one wanted to be, or be with, that girl. You had to aspire to be either massive, or tiny, seemed to me. And Josh would prefer me tiny. I contemplated the laxa-teas again, but had visions of a bathroom-related incident at the party and decided firmly against it. I flicked back to Josh’s message and typed an excited reply.
I guess! It’s come round so quick hasn’t it? David always pushes the boat out… I’m sure it will be an amazing night.
He replied immediately and I almost had an aneurysm from the amount of good news in one morning: first I’d cut down Ava and now I was winding in Josh!
Can I look forward to seeing you in something a little sexier than work clothes?
My heart was pounding furiously, a heady mix of endorphins and adrenaline racing round my body. My desire to tell someone was intense. But I couldn’t, I had to keep it secret, I didn’t want this to become one of the many rumours at work.
Wait. What was wrong with my work clothes? Didn’t he like my pencil skirt collection?
11
Ava
The day had been manic so far and I hadn’t eaten since my incredible breakfast this morning. The emergency team meeting with Josh and Jade had come to an abrupt close with Jade storming out and it had left the pair of us more than a little shell-shocked.
‘Do you believe her story about Kai?’ I asked Josh once the door had shut behind her.
Josh and Jade had never been close despite her rabid fascination with him. The story going round was that she’d tried, and failed, to hook up with him when he’d first joined the agency a couple of years after her and that, after her rejection, she’d harboured a secret crush ever since.
‘Why wouldn’t I?’ he answered.
He was being annoyingly diplomatic. I could usually count on Josh to stick up for me. He’d always been one of the better members of the team, despite the fact that he could have coasted here given his surname.
‘Well, since when has Kai been keen to spend any more time with Jade than absolutely necessary?’
Josh shrugged.
Despite Josh’s apparent faith in Jade, I knew she was lying about the phone call with Kai. The problem was proving it. It would mean calling Kai, explaining and exposing Jade’s pathetic in-fighting, and that would make the entire agency look bad. So I didn’t have much choice but to let her get away with it. Wasn’t life unfair? Yes, we were competing for the same job, but I couldn’t understand why she was using such dirty tactics.
A shadow of doubt crossed my mind.
‘The two of you need to work out whatever it is you have going on. I’m not getting involved.’ Josh drummed his fingers rhythmically on his leg, tapping out a beat from the annals of his mind. Then he fixed his beautiful blues on me. ‘Rise above it, Ava. Don’t let it get to you.’
I left the meeting room in a huff and closed the door to my office. I didn’t often do that but I needed time to process what had just happened. Josh believed Jade. Had
something changed between them that I was unaware of? I ran my fingers through my hair and stared blankly at the notepad on my desk, deep in thought. A chill ran down my spine as I considered the secrets we shared together, the tenuous bonds we’d promised we’d never break. I hadn’t realised things were so bad between us. I had to talk to her. Keep your friends close, I thought; but keep Jade Fernleigh closer.
*
The working day had ended well over an hour ago but the office was still busy spitting out its remaining occupants. As I tidied my desk of the day’s detritus, I heard the unmistakable buzz of my mobile phone and it occurred to me how quiet things had been without it. It was muffled, coming from my desk drawer, and I slid my fingers under the handle to investigate. Sure enough, there it was: sitting pretty, screen illuminated, vibrating happily round its hiding place. I sighed, I hadn’t remembered putting it there, but I’d been awfully preoccupied recently, and my phone had been driving me mad. It certainly wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility. An unknown number was calling and I prayed it wasn’t Kai. I couldn’t face another lecture about security or press protocols right now: I’d been up to my eyeballs in launch preparations all day.
‘Hello, Ava speaking,’ I trotted out on autopilot. My greeting was met with silence, but I could hear the caller’s muffled breathing. ‘Hello?’ I tried again, a note of panic in my voice this time. Beads of sweat formed across my brow and my mouth dried.
‘Ava,’ Charlie’s clipped Irish accent growled out of the receiver and gripped tight round my neck. He was drunk, I could tell by the lazy lilt to his voice. It was my turn to be quiet. ‘Ava,’ he said again, the signal cutting in and out. ‘I nee—’
‘What do you want, Charlie?’ I spoke in no more than a whisper. I knew he’d pick up on my fear and use it against me, but I couldn’t hang up, I was frozen. His heavy breathing continued and I wondered where he was, if he’d moved back to Reading after being kicked out of our flat, or was still hanging around somewhere nearby. But he said nothing more and the call dropped. I needed to get another phone, I didn’t want that to happen again. Next time Charlie called his words would be full of malice and hatred, accusations of cheating and lying and sleeping around behind his back would roll down the receiver. Every time he was drunk, or high, he’d turn puce and paranoid and hurl out the same old rubbish. I was so tired of this. In one quick and decisive motion I cracked the phone against my desk, breaking the screen and rendering it useless. I wouldn’t put it past Charlie to have installed a tracker in it or something and, as I hurried out of the office, I saw Jade in the corridor, heading my way. I reached out to stop her, to ask her if everything was OK after our meeting this morning but, as my hand landed on her knitted cardigan she pushed me away and walked straight by, refusing to speak to me, refusing to even look at me. I stood in the stairwell, shocked, then put her to the back of my mind: I had bigger problems than Jade Fernleigh’s grudge. I took a turning at the ground floor and used the back exit just in case Charlie was waiting for me outside.