He shrugs and tilts his head to the side. “It didn’t bother me. Is that weird?”
I raise an eyebrow as I stop in front of him. “A little bit, yeah.”
“Guess I’m just different then.”
“I’ll see you in the morning. Good night, sweetheart,” I say leaning over to kiss him on the cheek, but he pulls his face away from me and turns his gaze toward the carpet.
“Have a good one, Taylee.”
I slept like shit last night. I think what bothered me the most was that Luke called me by my name when I left his room instead of by my title and that’s something I’ll have to correct when he joins me this morning in the kitchen.
He usually likes to sleep in late and because it’s a weekend and not a weekday, I’ll allow it. Come tomorrow morning though, we’ll get back to our school work and he’ll remember that I’m the adult in this house—no matter how he thinks he can speak to me.
I turn on the coffee machine and drop a single-serve cup into the appropriate compartment and wait for the magic to happen. I won’t be very nice to him until I’ve had some caffeine in my system and I don’t like to be unkind to Luke when it’s something that’s beyond his control.
The wait for the coffee is my doing—the calling me by my name is his fuck up, soon to be addressed.
Seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours before he finally walks into the kitchen. His hair is a mess, his eyes are still showing signs of sleep, but he smiles when he sees me, and I nod in return.
“Good morning,” he says, as he walks over to me and kisses my cheek.
“Morning,” I reply curtly. I turn my back to him so I can reach into the cupboard for his favorite mug. It’s simple—dark green—his favorite color and has a small cobblestone, well design in the middle of either side.
“Thanks,” he says with a wide yawn once I’ve set his mug in front of him. I take the seat across from him and clasp my hands together on the island top and wait for him to take a few sips.
“Luke?”
“Yeah?” he asks, sucking his teeth.
“You can’t call me Taylee. My name—to you, is Mom. Do you understand me?” I ask him quietly.
His eyes linger on the caramel colored brew in the mug and he chuckles.
“Sure thing.”
“I’m serious. You’re the son and I’m the mother and no matter what you saw, you have to remember that,” I insist firmly.
“Got it,” he says, blowing out his breath and looking at me with amusement dancing in his still tired eyes. “Anything else? Mom?”
I sit back in my chair and stare at him. He seems to hear what I’m saying, but I don’t think he’s taking it too seriously.
“You’re not too old to spank. I don’t care how much bigger you are than me, I’ll bend you over my knee if I have to get some respect out of you,” I warn him.
A small smile curves the edges of his lips, but when my eyes turn stern, it fades away as quickly as it began to appear.
I get to my feet and am ready to go clean up the counter and turn the coffee pot off when Luke speaks up.
“I just have one question for you,” he says conversationally.
“What?” I ask much louder than I mean to. I clear my throat and give him a sheepish glance to which the smile begins to appear again.
“Are you gonna dress up before you spank me?”
I sent Luke to his room for the remainder of the day, but that still didn’t feel like enough distance between us, so I decided to go out for a walk.
Maybe this will keep me from wanting to throttle him, I think as I make my way back down toward the beach.
I’m not looking to do anything in particular, I just want to get my mind off of how defiant he’s suddenly become. Good children aren’t defiant; they listen to their mother and they do as their told, yet he feels that because he caught me in a moment of weakness—of self-pleasure, that he no longer has to see me as his mother.
Bullshit; I’ll beat him before he treats me any differently than he did when I was still some kind of sanctimonious idol in his eyes.
I decide to go back to the diner we had went to the previous night. If I can find our waitress, maybe I can talk her into going out on a date with him. Hopefully that’ll shake some sense into him, but knowing Luke, this is a dead horse before it’s even been beat.
I walk up the small wooden walkway and wait patiently by the front booth for someone to notice me. The hostess is the same one from last night and she smiles brightly when she sees me.
“Just one?” she asks cheerfully.
“One is more than enough right now,” I reply with a chuckle. She gives me a nod and tells me to follow her, sitting me at a table in the middle of the restaurant. Once she’s sat the menu down in front of me, she walks away after telling me that my server will be with me soon.
I decide on a Coke and maybe a small salad since I’m not too hungry right now. I sigh heavily as I lean back in my chair and glance around the place. There are only two other families in here and just me.
It makes me feel like shit to see happy parents and their children. I always wonder how much differently he could have turned out had his father maybe showed up once in a while to take him out to do some male bonding. Instead he’s stuck with me—a whore that can’t keep her hands off of herself and apparently forgets to lock her fucking door when she gets the urge.
I wish I had someone in my life that could take care of my impulses as they come, but most of all, I wish I had someone in my life that could be a father figure for Luke. He deserves it—no matter how angry he made me last night, he’s a good boy and I know even though he didn’t want to show it, what he saw bothered him.
The server isn’t the same one as the night before. She’s not as pretty as her either, but I think I’ll still see if she wants to meet my boy when I’m done and maybe take his mind off of things.
I smile up at her as she places my drink and salad down, shaking my head when she asks me if I need anything else at the moment. I pull the straw out of the paper wrapping and stick in into the carbonated drink before picking up my fork and stabbing a few leaves of lettuce, some tomato slices, and cheese strips.
“I can’t believe it.”
I almost choke on my food.
I didn’t know that anyone had approached me and the sudden sound of someone standing so close startles me. With a laugh, I reach for my napkin to wipe my face before I glance up at the person that scared me almost shitless then feel my mouth run dry.
“Oh my God. It is you,” he says, taking in a breath.
My lower lip begins to tremble slightly, and I have to turn my eyes away from him.
“How have you been?” he asks in disbelief as he pulls out the chair next to me and sits down.
It’s almost as if I’m looking into a mirror of my son. True the years are much higher in this reflection, but they look enough alike to assure anyone who his father is.
“Hi,” I reply quietly, dropping the napkin next to my plate. A wave of nausea takes over me, followed by guilt. Had I not grounded my son he would be here with me and he would finally know the man that gave him half of his life.
Selfish cow.
The edges of his eyes crinkle kindly when he finally smiles at me. “I think we’re past ‘hellos’, don’t you?”
I clear my throat and glance around the establishment again. Is he here with his family too? Or is he just another absentee parent like me trying to get away from an impending sense of doom?
“Are you alone?” I ask him, my voice cracking slightly.
“Yeah. The wife and kids are at home,” he says, running his hand back through his hair.
Just like Luke.
“Congrats,” I reply bitterly, rolling my eyes and picking up my fork again.
“I … I never stopped thinking about you, you know?” he says softly.
I glance at him and raise an eyebrow. “You should probably have spent your time thinking about
the son you left behind instead. Excuse me. I just lost my appetite.”
I get to my feet and push my chair in, but before I have a chance to walk away, he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me back toward the table.
“Sit down, Taylee. Let’s talk. I want to know about him. I’ve always felt so fucking bad for never going to visit him. Tell me about him? Please?”
The sheer look of hopelessness in his eyes hits me in my core and I feel myself faltering. I should just walk away, maybe run back home and get Luke. He might still be here by the time we get back, but what if he’s not?
With a heavy sigh, I pull my chair out and sit back down.
“He looks exactly like you. He’s tall too, very quiet and reserved. Doesn’t have much to say—even when you try to have a conversation with him. It’s usually short sentences or one-word answers.”
Trenton chuckles, his eyes showing signs of tears threatening to spill as he lets go of my arm. “He definitely didn’t get that from me.”
“Right.”
I cross my arms over my chest and give him my most defiant stare realizing in this moment that maybe Luke is more like me than I’ve noticed.
Trenton reaches for a napkin and begins to nervously rip pieces from the corners of it. “Um … is he … um … here?”
“No.”
“Fuck,” he says tossing the torn napkin with a sigh. “I would have loved to meet him, you know?”
“I’d rather not upset him,” I reply, jutting my chin out.
Trenton sighs again and looks away for a moment. “Maybe we can have dinner tonight? The three of us?”
“Maybe. Listen, I have to go,” I say getting to my feet again. This time I’m walking out of here no matter what he has to say.
“Okay. Um, I’ll come back here later then. Say around eight?” he asks, looking into my eyes with so much hope that I could almost swear he’s about to burst from it.
“I’ll talk to him and see what he wants to do,” I promise softly.
Trenton nods as he gets to his feet, the smile still on his face, and uses a knuckle to wipe away a stray tear.
“If I don’t see you guys later, I … Goddamn, Taylee. It was good to see you again,” he says as he shakes his head thoughtfully.
I clasp my hands in front of me and look down at my feet. If what he says is true, if he really thought about me all of these years, then why the hell did he get married again? Why didn’t he look us up?
But the young girl in me that fell for the tall, dark, mysterious, semi-stranger is starting to come to the surface again. I lean over and give him a quick peck on the cheek before I turn around and run out of the restaurant.
And I don’t stop running until I get home again.
“It’s about time you got home.”
I raise an eyebrow at Luke who’s laying on the living room couch. I’m trying to catch my breath from my sprint and doing my best not to blurt out what just happened, but I’m honestly more disappointed in him for not being in his room where I sent him earlier.
“What are you doing out here?” I snap at him.
Luke chuckles as he swings his long legs off the couch, sits up, and runs a hand back through his hair.
Just like Trenton.
“I got bored in my room and I came out to see if you wanted to watch some T.V. and you were gone. That’s what I’m doing out here.”
I sigh and rub my face tiredly. I don’t want to argue with him now. Hell, I don’t even want to tell him who I just ran into, but it wouldn’t be fair to leave the choice out of his hands.
“You look wrecked, Mom,” he comments with a curious tone. “Want the couch? I can move over to the love seat.”
As he gets to his feet, I shake my head and walk over to take the empty spot next to him. Luke keeps his curious gaze on me because he can tell there’s something I need to say to him and once I’ve told him what I have to say, he’ll either laugh and walk away like he does with normal things, or he’ll go to his room and slam the door.
It’s always one of the two with him. Luke hates serious conversations almost as much as I hate to have them with him, however this is important.
For both of us.
“I went back to the diner,” I begin slowly.
“Mom, I’m not interested in that waitress, so I really hope you didn’t try something stupid,” he says, vehemently shaking his head.
“I ran into your dad,” I blurt out softly.
Luke blinks rapidly a few times before he slowly turns his gaze away from me, and moves further down the couch, trying to put a little more distance between us.
“Honey, he wants to meet you tonight,” I say, moving closer to him.
Luke gets to his feet and scoffs. He walks over to the living room window and pushes the blinds aside, gazing out into the mid-day sun. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but I can feel his anger. It radiates from him like a nuclear shock and in a weird way, I can feel myself becoming angry for him too.
“We don’t have to go. I didn’t agree to it. I told him that I would talk to you and he said he would wait for us to show up. He can rot there for all I care,” I say, getting to my feet and walking over to him. I put my hands on his shoulders and rest my cheek against his bare back and sigh. I won’t force my child to do anything he doesn’t want to do because that’s not the kind of parent I am.
“I wanna go,” he finally says.
“Are you sure, Luke? I’m just fine with us having a night in,” I assure him.
He pulls away from me, then turns to face me. “It’s okay, Mom. I want to meet him at least once.”
There’s something in his eyes that’s telling me I should more than likely send him back to his room, but I can’t deny him this opportunity.
“Alright,” I reply. “He said he would be there at eight, so we can get there before or after—whatever you’re most comfortable with.”
“Guess I should go chill in my room for a while before it’s time to go then,” he says with a distant look in his eye. “Thanks for not hiding this from me. I know you could have, and I wouldn’t have hated you for it, but now I won’t have to wonder anymore.”
Around seven-thirty Luke comes out of his room. His hair is neatly combed, he’s wearing a brand-new black t-shirt, and a pair of slacks. He’s got on his best shoes and he even smells slightly of aftershave even though his face shows no signs of having recently being shaved.
He’s trying to impress his father, I think, but in a way so am I. I’m wearing a blue and yellow sundress, beige colored wedge sandals, and have my hair pulled back in a loose French twist.
“Well damn, Mom,” he says with a sly grin and a nod. “You look really pretty.”
“Thanks, baby. You look exceptionally handsome tonight,” I reply, reaching for his now extended arm. I’m just under his chin now with the extra added height and I can tell he’s amused by it.
He reaches into his pocket for a moment then nods. I heard the jingle of his house keys, so I knew he was making sure that we’d have our way back in.
Here goes nothing, I think nervously as we step outside.
We walk in silence all the way to the town center, and Luke’s grip tightens on my arm once the diner begins to come into view. He’s trembling slightly, and I can’t tell if he’s nervous for himself or for me. Nothing seems to ever bother him, but just the prospect of knowing that his father might be waiting for us seems to have stirred something in him.
“I’ll go first,” he offers quietly as he gently pushes me behind him on our way up the walkway. After all of these years, he’s still trying to protect me from possibly getting hurt again.
Once we’re inside, Luke puts a hand on the booth and waits for the hostess to finish her phone call.
“Two tonight?” she asks, barely glancing at us.
“No. We’re here to meet … um,” his voice trails off as he cuts his eyes toward me and I step in without missing a beat.
“Trenton Miller.”
&
nbsp; She nods as she looks over the small dry erase board sitting on the pedestal and then checks off a box with a red pen.
“Your party is already here. Follow me.”
We wait patiently while she reaches down for two menus then leads us toward one of the booths in the back of the diner. I can see him nervously sitting in his chair, hands gripping his drink tightly, and glancing at the time on his watch.
Luke stops short of the table and turns around to face me, blocking Trenton’s view as he grips my arms tightly.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Mom? I couldn’t care less, but I have a feeling this is helping you more than it would me,” he says, searching my eyes.
“Oh honey. I’m doing this for you, not me. Trenton doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I just wanted to give you this chance so you wouldn’t always wonder, you know?” I reply as I reach up and gently lay a hand on the side of his face.
Luke lets out a deep breath and nods. He reaches down and grabs my free hand before turning around and leading me the rest of the way to the booth.
Trenton is on his feet now and the hostess is standing by him, waiting for us to take our seats. The closer we get, the more his eyes widen, never taking them off of his son. When we finally get to him, he extends a hand to Luke who stares at it for a moment before he scoots me into the booth, then sits down.
“Mr. Miller,” he greets him with a nod.
Trenton bites his lower lip nervously before he looks over at me and gives me a forced smile.
“You look nice tonight, Taylee,” he compliments in a kind tone.
“Thanks,” I reply, shooting a nervous glance at Luke. He feels my eyes on him and leans back in his seat, giving me a quick eye roll before turning his attention to the menu.
“What did you have earlier when you were here?” he asks me conversationally.
“Salad,” Trenton and I say together.
Luke glances up at him and chuckles, shaking his head. “Thanks for answering, Mom.”
I lean under the table and give his thigh a firm pinch. It’s my “cut the shit” move when I’m in a position where I’m unable to verbally chastise him.
Sparks: An Inferno Prequel Page 3