Setting him straight was his father’s strong suit. He’d been doing it for all of Grayson’s life. Bitterness threatened to choke him. If only he’d grown up with a dad who showed him unconditional love and showered him with attention, perhaps he’d be in better shape today. Perhaps he wouldn’t be filing lawsuits in order to fill up an empty hole inside of him.
“I don’t need you to set me straight, dad,” he said through clenched teeth. “Let me tell you what I really needed back when I was a kid. I needed a dad who cared. One who showed me love and sat in the front row when I was the lead in Pippin. Or cheered me on when I was valedictorian.”
“Grayson, I can’t make up for those things, but if we both try I think we can move toward a better relationship.”
Grayson let out a hollow laugh. “If you want to do something for me then leave me alone. I’m a grown man who can make his own decisions.”
“This pursuit of Savannah House is going to blow up in your face!” Tanner cried out. “You can’t just go around trying to take what isn’t yours.”
Grayson winced at the all-knowing tone in his father’s voice. “Thanks, Dad. I can always count on you for support.” Grayson disconnected the call, knowing he couldn’t bear to listen to his father’s doubts any longer. Some things never changed, he realized. He’d spent the majority of his life trying to win his father’s approval, yet he knew he never would. Even though he was a successful, award winning artist and author, his father still treated him like the goofball kid who couldn’t get anything right. It was as if Tanner Holloway was perpetually disappointed with his son.
Knowing he needed to let off some steam, Grayson collected his emotions and began assembling his surfing gear. The water was still fairly cold, so he grabbed his full body suit and pulled it on. With his surfboard in the back of his Jeep, Grayson headed down the road toward his special spot.
Although his place was right by the water, the best place for surfing was on the stretch of beach closest to Savannah House.
An hour later and Grayson had rid himself of all the angst and pain associated with his relationship with his father. Many nights he had prayed for things to get better between them, but so far those prayers hadn’t been answered. No one could wound him more than his dad. At the same time, no one could lift him up more than Tanner Holloway. Hot tears burned his eyes as he held back the feelings of sorrow flooding through his soul.
He stuck his board in the sand and sat down next to it, digging into his bag for an apple. The scenery at Savannah Beach was spectacular. It rivaled his favorite spot on Earth—Martha’s Vineyard. They shared some similarities. Miles and miles of unspoiled beach. The scent of salt water drifting along with the breeze. The gritty sand he could burrow his toes in. Grayson knew there was something about the sea that called to him. He felt more at home when he was by the water than anywhere else on God’s green earth.
Grayson spotted a person walking down the beach in his direction. As they drew closer, Grayson realized it was a mother with a small child in her arms. A few heartbeats later, he recognized the graceful slope of Hope’s neck and the way she carried herself. Elegant, Grayson thought. And it seemed so effortless.
He knew the moment Hope recognized him. She stopped in her tracks and simply stared at him. He got the impression she was considering turning in the other direction. But in order to get to Savannah House, she had to walk past him. Dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, she looked fresh and natural.
He stood up and raised a hand in greeting. “Hello there. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Not really,” she said, nodding her head toward Savannah House, which rose up in the distance, “considering I live right over there.”
“Right,” Grayson said, smiling at Hope. He wasn’t sure why it kept happening, but every time he was in Hope’s presence, Grayson felt like grinning. “This is some beautiful view you wake up to every morning. I could get used to this.”
Hope scowled at him. He’d put his foot in his mouth. Again. He held up his hand. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything about taking over Savannah House. That’s not my intention.”
Hope let out a sigh. “So far I’m clueless about your intentions, Mr. Holloway.”
“I’m Grayson. Mr. Holloway is my father,” he said with a grin. “If you call me Mr. Holloway I’m going to feel ancient.”
Hope couldn’t hide her grin. It made her look even more beautiful, which didn’t seem humanly possible. Her daughter looked up her and giggled. It seemed Hope’s smile was infectious. “Grayson it is,” she said.
“Who do we have here?” Grayson asked, reaching out to touch the baby’s fingers. They were soft and gentle. She squeezed his finger back with a ferocity that stunned him.
“This is my daughter. Ella.” Pride rang out in Hope’s voice. She looked down at her daughter with such a look of joy it made Grayson’s chest tighten. The love in Hope’s eyes shone brightly. What would it be like, he wondered, to be loved by this woman? The thought caught him off guard. It made him a little weak in the knees.
“Hi there, Ella. You have a nice grip there.”
Ella looked at him with big eyes and began to babble. The only word Grayson understood was Mama. When Ella said it, Hope’s face lit up.
“Yes. I’m your Mama, pretty girl. Yes. Yes. I am,” Hope said, swaying Ella back and forth in her arms.
“So, did you share the mediation letter with your co-owners?” Grayson asked. He hadn’t heard a word from his attorney about it.
“Yes,” Hope said with a nod. “I did.”
“And?” Grayson asked, dying of curiosity.
“And we’ll be there, at least a few of us. We can’t all leave Savannah House at the same time. We’re very curious to see what unfolds. If we can settle this amicably, it might be the best for everyone.”
“I agree,” Grayson said with a nod. He winked at her. “And then maybe you and I can be friends.”
Hope shook her head. “Okay, you said that already in your note. The one that came with the flowers.”
“So you did get the flowers?” He’d been wondering if she was enjoying the basket of flowers. According to the article he’d read on Savannah House, Hope was a fitness instructor as well as being involved in the gardening aspects of the resort. He figured she must adore flowers.
“Yes, I did. Thank you. They were beautiful, Grayson, but a little surprising.” She shifted the baby to her other hip. “Why did you send them?”
Hope honestly seemed taken aback by his gesture. “Surely you’ve been the recipient of dozens and dozens of flowers?”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Hope said. Her voice softened. “And not for some time.”
Grayson hoped his mouth wasn’t hanging open in surprise. A woman as lovely as Hope should be bombarded with flowers on a regular basis. He frowned, wondering what the story was between Hope and Ella’s father. Had they ever been married? Was she newly divorced? Or was she a single mother who had never been married? He quickly looked at her bare ring finger. It made him feel even more curious.
Grayson wished he could ask the question, but he knew it would probably annoy Hope to be asked such a personal question. He bit down on his lip as a reminder not to speak out of turn. He almost felt like a teenager with a crush. Against all odds, he wanted Hope to like him.
“Being a single mother isn’t easy,” he said.
Surprise crept across her face. “You’re right. It isn’t. Most days, I try to do the very best I can. I give her ample doses of love and when I’m at a total loss, I ask God for guidance, and if all else fails, I call my mother.”
Grayson chuckled at Hope’s comment. He liked her sense of humor.
“Kudos to you for calling your mother,” he said with a snicker. “My Mom is constantly complaining that I don’t call her enough.”
Hope smiled. It was only the hint of a smile. Grayson had the feeling she was being very cautious around him. He couldn’t say
he blamed her, but he wanted to put out all the stops to let her see he wasn’t the enemy. Far from it. He was only fighting for a sense of belonging, something he’d never experienced in his life. But how could he explain a lifetime of pain and feelings of abandonment to Hope, a woman he barely knew?
But you want to know her. Badly. That was his truth.
“Now that I’m a mother, I get it. I hope Ella always wants to reach out to me, no matter how old she gets.” Hope’s voice sounded wistful.
“I’m sure she will,” Grayson said. He jutted his chin in Ella’s direction. “You seem devoted to her.”
“I am. A very wise person once said you never regret the children you have…only the ones you didn’t have.” Hope locked eyes with Grayson. He felt something floating in the air between them. “I never thought for a single second not to have her, but in doing so, I faced a lot of judgment. I judged myself as well. It went against everything I believed in. It’s been the hardest path I’ve walked down in my life, but it’s been the most rewarding.” Hope pressed a kiss against Ella’s temple. Her daughter giggled and tugged at a few strands of Hope’s hair.
“That makes you a very brave woman, Hope Matthews. A warrior. A woman who walks in faith not by sight.”
Hope’s eyes widened, and for the first time in this conversation she seemed to reel herself back in.
“I-I have to go,” Hope said in a breathless voice. “I need to go put Ella down for her nap.” She rushed past him, acting as if she couldn’t wait to get away from him. It was strange. A few minutes ago Hope had seemed to be enjoying their conversation. He wondered if he’d said something to remind her that he was the enemy.
“I’ll see you around, Hope,” Grayson said, noticing the way she nervously glanced over her shoulder to look in his direction.
“Bye,” she said with a wave, before turning away and beating a fast path across the beach toward Savannah House and the guest cottage. Grayson watched the duo until they reached the boundaries of the resort’s property. From this vantage point he could see Hope and Ella disappear into their home. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt a little ache inside him. There was something about Hope that called to him, and it drove him crazy that they were on opposite sides of such an important issue as his ties to Savannah House and Hattie Alexander.
Somehow, Grayson was going to find a way to bridge the gap. Something told him Hope would be worth the effort.
**
As soon as Hope got Ella settled down in her crib for a nap, she made her way over to the window facing the beach. From this distance she could see Grayson, although not very well. She let out a sigh. Her exit from the beach had been an act of self-preservation. Grayson Holloway was dangerous to her equilibrium. Every time she was in his presence, Hope ended up feeling jittery and knocked off her feet.
She wrapped her arms around her middle as she watched him gather up his surf board and head towards the parking lot. There had been no point in telling him that receiving his flowers had made her day. She didn’t want him to know he’d picked her favorites. Or that she’d placed the blooms in her bedroom so she could be surrounded by their fragrant scent. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Grayson that for the first time in a long time she’d felt like a woman. For so long now she’d only felt like Ella’s mother, which was a beautiful thing, but not enough to make her feel separate and apart from her daughter. More than anything, a person needed to feel special in their own right. Sending her flowers might be viewed as something simple, but for Hope it was a reminder of her femininity, of the idea that a man might find her attractive.
Because Lord knows she found Grayson attractive. He was the most visually appealing man she’d ever laid eyes on. His face flashed into her mind. He had good looks for days.
Traitor. A voice buzzed in her ear. Here she was fantasizing about Grayson when he represented a very real threat against her ownership of Savannah House. What difference did it make what he looked like? Any attraction she felt toward him wouldn’t amount to a hill of beans in the scheme of things. He was off-limits. She cringed thinking how her friends would react if they knew her innermost thoughts. They would be horrified.
Truthfully, she was horrified with herself. Hadn’t the past served as a bruising lesson about following the dictates of her heart? Ross had shown her that men couldn’t be trusted. He had used her, told her a pack of lies, then tossed her aside when he’d found out she was pregnant with Ella. Pain seared through her as the memories of her humiliation washed over her. She shook her head as Grayson got into the driver’s side of his car and drove off down the beach road.
It didn’t matter what she might be feeling toward Grayson Holloway. Of all the men in the world she could potentially find herself attracted to, he was at the absolute bottom of the barrel. Her life was complicated enough. She didn’t need to stir up a hornet’s nest by developing any feelings for the mysterious Grayson. Her five best friends in the world might never forgive her if she headed down that path. Those women meant the world to her—way too much to jeopardize it for a charismatic stranger who was clearly up to no good.
Lord, please give me strength. I’m not sure what’s going on with me, but Grayson Holloway is becoming too much of a temptation. Please don’t let me fall down the rabbit hole again, Lord. Been there, done that. I don’t believe in making the same mistake twice.
“The good thing about life is that we’re afforded many opportunities to grow and change. It’s limitless.” Tanner Holloway
Chapter Four
Hope navigated her way through the mid-morning traffic in downtown Savannah as Christmas music blared from the speakers. It didn’t matter to her that Christmas wasn’t happening for another seven months or so. She loved the joyful, upbeat tunes and the promise of white powdery snow falling just in time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. It never snowed in Savannah, but she kept hope alive.
She giggled as she sang along to “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” Hope reached out one hand to take a sip of her coffee. Last night had been a bit of a bear, with Ella waking up three times during the night. She hadn’t been feverish or ill in any way, but Hope had been concerned nevertheless. Perhaps she was going through a growth spurt. Hope tried to reassure herself with that thought.
Hope needed to be on her A game today. She, accompanied by Callie, would be attending the mediation meeting this morning. Due to other commitments, it wasn’t practical to show up in full force. On a good day it was near impossible for Morgan to leave her kitchen. And with a full house of guests to feed, it didn’t make sense to place it all on her sous-chef, Henry.
She looked pretty spiffy, if she did say so herself. Right before leaving the cottage she’d surveyed herself in the full-length mirror with a critical eye. She had chosen to dress in a stylish pants suit—the only one she owned. It was a nice charcoal gray color and she’d purchased it on sale at an expensive shop in Savannah. At the time she hadn’t been certain if it was something she would ever wear. Thank the Lord for small mercies! It had been a nice feeling to reach into her closet and pull out something attractive and business-like. It made her feel way more accomplished than she was in actuality. In many ways it served as a suit of armor.
Her cell phone began buzzing and she hit the Bluetooth function on her dashboard.
“Hello,” she answered, noticing Callie’s number on the display. The meeting was in ten minutes. Callie was probably wondering about her whereabouts.
“Hey Hope, it’s me. Callie.”
“Hey, Callie. Where are you? I’m outside the building just looking for a parking spot.”
Callie let out a groan on the other end of the line. “I’m so sorry, Hope. I’m as sick as a dog. Jax is going to run me into the doctor’s office.” Hope could hear the tension emanating from Callie’s voice.
“Oh no. What’s going on?” Hope asked, immediately thinking about the baby. She prayed it was nothing serious.
“I’ve been throwing up all night
. I think I had some bad takeout. But we’re concerned about my having lost a lot of fluids.” Callie—who was one of the strongest women she knew—couldn’t hide her fear or the tremor in her voice.
“Get to the doctor, Callie. Don’t waste time talking to me on the phone. I’ll be fine attending the meeting by myself.”
“Aww, bless you, my friend,” Callie said.
“Bless you and that little bundle you’re carrying. Please call me back when you get a free moment. I really want to know that you’re all right.”
“Will do,” Callie promised before saying goodbye.
Hope parked in the lot right across the street from the office building where the mediation meeting was set to take place. Hope took a quick glance in her compact mirror, then smoothed her hair back before exiting her car. With every step she took that brought her closer to the building, Hope’s nerves began to fray.
By the time she took the elevator to the third floor, she felt tongue-tied and awkward. What did she know about mediation meetings? What if Grayson tried to steamroll her? What if she made a big mess out of everything due to her being inexperienced?
When she was directed into the sleek conference room by the receptionist, Hope found herself the last to arrive. Grayson—decked out in a tan suit with a crisp white shirt underneath—looked jaw droppingly handsome. She almost gasped out loud at the sight of him with newly cut hair. His hair had been cut so it now hung mid cheek. He looked sleek and attractive. The shorter hair definitely made his features pop more, which of course, was the last thing a man like Grayson needed. Could he get any more handsome? Hope agonized.
The woman seated next to Grayson seemed to be listening raptly to whatever he was saying. Grayson stood up the moment she entered the room. He came around to the other side of the table. “Morning, Hope. It’s good to see you.”
Heart 0f Mine (Secrets 0f Savannah Book 6) Page 5