Heart 0f Mine (Secrets 0f Savannah Book 6)

by Belle Calhoune

  “No! That’s crazy!” Grayson cried out. “You can’t prove this is true.”

  “It’s all here in a confession from Sister Angela. She switched the babies at the request of Tuck and Patricia Alexander. When they discovered the baby had died they vowed never to let their daughter know. They knew she’d never recover from the guilt. So when Hattie returned to the hospital the next day, a plan was set in motion. Identities were swapped. Miss Hattie was told her baby was adopted when in reality her baby Patrick was dead.”

  “Her parents loved her enough to want to spare her from the knowledge her son had died.” Tanner clenched his teeth. “They were trying to spare her.”

  Tears flooded Hope’s eyes. Miss Hattie’s past was filled with such tragedy. The weight of it had rested on her shoulders for decades. It made Hope want to bury her head against Grayson’s chest and sob for all that Miss Hattie had endured and lost. In the end she had probably sensed it when she saw Tanner in the park and realized he wasn’t her Patrick.

  “They were far from perfect, but in the end, they did want to shield her from pain,” Hope acknowledged. “They loved her.” In many ways it reminded her of her own parents. Her parents had made a multitude of mistakes with her, but they continued to love her. And they had shown their devotion to Ella time after time. As her mother had said, they couldn’t change the past, but they could surely shape the future.

  Grayson hadn’t said another word. His skin was pale and little beads of sweat had broken out on his forehead.

  “So, what about your real parents? Don’t you want to find them?” Hope asked Tanner, darting a glance in Grayson’s direction. He looked shattered. Her heart ached for him. He had done so much to try and establish his familial connections here in Savannah. It had all led to a dead-end.

  Tanner shrugged. “I’ve spent my adult life researching adoption and writing about it. I was seeking an understanding of who I was. And by exploring it, I think I found those answers. I really don’t need anything more. The people who raised me were pretty great individuals. They weren’t perfect by any means, but they chose me and they loved me. That’s enough.” He glanced over at his son. “And I hope it’s enough for you too.”

  Grayson raked a shaky hand through his hair. “It just…I can’t believe we’re not related to Miss Hattie. Everything I’ve been feeling since I’ve been here in Savannah has convinced me of a true connection. This isn’t what I expected to hear.”

  “It’s a shock,” Hope said, placing her hand on Grayson’s shoulder. He looked so beaten down and broken. Grayson’s reasons for seeking out a connection to Savannah House had been genuine. He was still that little boy who’d been sent away by his parents. He was still searching for meaning. She prayed Grayson knew she was in his corner for the long haul. Whatever he wanted or needed—she would be by his side.

  He shook his head. “Everything I thought was true isn’t true at all.”

  Tanner frowned. “Grayson, nothing has really changed. I’m still your father. And I’m committed to working on our relationship. You have a really beautiful life. The possibilities are endless. You still have a connection to Savannah House. Through Hope. Everything happens for a reason. You just have to figure out why God sent you on this journey.”

  “There’s not always a silver lining in every situation,” Grayson sniped. “Sometimes there’s absolutely no meaning, no grand plan.”

  “Grayson, I know how disappointed you are,” Hope said in a gentle voice. She reached out for his hand but he moved away from her. There was a dullness radiating from his eyes that frightened her. He looked so completely lost.

  He held up his hand. “Hope, I need some time to process all this. I need to be alone. I’ve got to get out of here.”

  **

  With a heavy heart he made his way across the gardens, sidestepping going back into Savannah House. He couldn’t possibly face anyone right now. He just needed to get as far away from this property as he could. He’d just discovered he really didn’t belong here.

  “Grayson!” Hope’s voice called out after him. He turned around to see her running after him. When she caught up to him, she was out of breath.

  “Don’t let this change anything. You’re still a part of Savannah House. And you’re still a huge part of my life, Grayson. Let’s work through this together.”

  He shoved his hand through the hair at the crown of his head. Being with Hope right now was dangerous. He could feel himself threatening to explode. And he desperately didn’t want to do it in front of the woman he loved. She was gentle and lovely and she didn’t deserve to see him lose it. He didn’t want to scare her. Or make himself look badly in her eyes. But he needed to blow off some steam. He needed to be alone.

  He clenched his jaw. “I know. I just…I really need to go. I can’t be here right now. I’ll give you a call later,” he said, backing away from her and walking toward the side entrance to the edge of the property.

  Grayson could hear Hope calling after him, but he didn’t stop this time. Couldn’t stop. He hopped in his car and roared away, leaving behind all his heartache and pain. He didn’t even look up to see Savannah House in his rearview window. It would be far too painful.

  Hope. Sweet, loyal Hope. He didn’t want her to see his pain up close and personal. He didn’t want her to watch him combust. Grayson had never allowed a woman to see his hurts before. All his life he’d been taught to be strong and to keep a stiff upper lip. Right now he felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under him. The truth twisted painfully in his gut.

  He was struggling to wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last few hours. Grayson couldn’t explain the reasons why he felt such a deep connection with Savannah House. It made absolutely no sense now since he wasn’t kin to the Alexander family. He felt so deflated. He’d felt such a strong tie to a family legacy that wasn’t even real. And he felt anger blossoming inside his heart. For so long his father hadn’t been honest with him. A detailed conversation would have explained everything. But just like always his father had sat on information until it blew up in Grayson’s face.

  Dear Lord. Show me the way. I’m all mixed up inside. I thought I’d finally found a place to call home. Somewhere I was tied to by way of my heritage. Who am I?

  He felt as if he’d been stripped of an identity he’d come to cherish. He wasn’t kin to Miss Hattie. And he wouldn’t ever know his actual grandparents. Those were dead ends now. It had all fallen apart. Once he got back to his house he found a duffle bag and began filling it with a few of his belongings, clothes and toiletries. He needed to leave Savannah and Tybee Island so he could think straight. His father wouldn’t hesitate to seek him out at his house and he really didn’t want to listen to him. Not now. Not when the secrets he’d been harboring had come back to bite Grayson. He buried his cell phone in the bottom of his bag. He needed quiet. Until he could figure out how to handle all of this anger rolling around inside him he needed to stay far away from Savannah.

  “If there’s one thing I truly believe in, it’s the power of love.” Hope Matthews

  Chapter Eleven

  “Are you all right, Hope?” Fancy’s warm voice washed over her like sweet spring rain. “I know the last week has been agony for you.”

  Hope let out a little sigh. “I’m doing okay.” She really wasn’t all right, but she had to keep things together for Ella. She was a mother now and her daughter’s needs came first. At night she’d been crying herself to sleep after Ella had gone to bed. That was the time when her heart ached for Grayson. She missed him terribly and he had betrayed her, just like Ross.

  “He might come back,” Fancy said. “He’s just feeling wounded right now.”

  “I don’t care if he does,” Hope snapped. “He left me. Without a word of goodbye, he just disappeared from Savannah. No phone calls. Nothing. And I’ve left him a dozen messages which he hasn’t bothered to return. His father has no clue where he is either.” Tanner had made inquirie
s in Martha’s Vineyard. None of their local friends had seen Grayson. In Hope’s opinion, it appeared Grayson wanted to be off the grid.

  “I’m so sorry, Hope.” Fancy patted Hope on the shoulder.

  She held her chin up high. “I’ll survive. The worst part is that Ella is asking for him. She got used to him being around. It hurts to have to come to terms with the possibility we might never see him again. And even if we do, how could I ever trust him again?”

  “I guess it depends,” Fancy said, biting her lip. “Are you in love with him?”

  Hope tried to be strong, but Fancy’s question sent her over the edge. It served as a trigger for all of her feelings. Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Yes, I do love him. Very much.” With a sob she covered her face with her hands and began to cry. Fancy pulled her into her arms and held her. As her shoulders quaked, Hope knew it would be a very long time before she got over Grayson, if ever. Her heart wasn’t just broken. It had shattered into a hundred little pieces.

  **

  California sunshine poured through the windows of the bedroom where Grayson was staying in San Diego. He’d been here for a week licking his wounds and trying to get his head on straight. So far all he knew for certain was that he missed Hope. It felt as if someone had chopped off his right arm.

  Honestly, he felt like someone who’d been on a bender. This morning he had woken up feeling as if his head was pounding with a hangover. But he hadn’t swallowed a single drop. He wanted to be with Hope. It had been stupid of him to take off without a word of explanation and leave her to wonder about his whereabouts. All the pain and rage had left him twisted up inside, so much so that he hadn’t been thinking straight. And most of his anger was about so much more than finding out he wasn’t related to Miss Hattie. It was about being abandoned as a young teen and left to defend himself against physical and mental abuse at boarding school. It felt as if he’d been angry at his parents for years. There had never been a moment of healing or reconciliation.

  Grayson had spent the last week praying and being still. It had helped him clarify certain things. He loved Hope. And he wanted a future with her.

  Now, in the clear light of day, he realized how badly he’d most likely wounded her. Hope had trusted him to be different than Ella’s father. Yet what had he done? He’d run off and left her. And his cell phone had been stolen four days ago while he’d been surfing at a local beach. She probably thought he’d bailed on her.

  Grayson cast a quick glance at his watch. The car service was coming soon to pick him up and take him to the airport. Due to the time difference between the West and East Coast, it would be early when he arrived home. He began to fill up his duffle bag. He had a lot of apologizing to do to Hope. He prayed to God she would forgive him.

  By the time Grayson arrived at Savannah House it was late afternoon. He headed straight for the place where he suspected Hope might be at this time of the day. The gazebo in the garden. He spotted her digging in the dirt pulling up weeds. The sight of her made his soul soar!

  He began walking toward her, stopping when he was a few feet away. She seemed oblivious to his presence until he spoke. “Hope.” She turned around at the sound of his voice, anger blazing in her eyes. She quickly scrambled to her feet.

  “I would ask you where you’ve been, but I don’t care, Grayson. Go back to wherever you disappeared to.” She held up her hand as if to prevent him from getting any closer to her.

  There was such fury emanating from her eyes he barely recognized her.

  “I don’t blame you a single bit for being angry at me. I was wrong. I left. I didn’t return your phone calls. It must have been a painful reminder of your past.”

  “It was worse. Much much worse this time around. Ella asked about you and I had no idea what to tell her. I never expected you to run out on me.” She looked at him with mournful eyes.

  “I acted like a fool. But I hope you can see that I came back because I’m a man in love with a woman I can’t live without.”

  Hope’s lips trembled. He saw the look of shock etched on her face.

  “I want to marry you, Hope. And I want to be Ella’s father. In every sense of the word I want to be a family. I want to adopt Ella and give her my last name. It’s a name I’m very proud of. It took me all this time to realize it. I’m Grayson Holloway. And that’s enough for me. I don’t need to be a member of the Alexander family to know who I am.”

  “Home is wherever you are, Hope.”

  “You love me?” Hope asked, all of her anger deflating like a burst balloon. He could see it on her face. Shock had replaced her anger.

  He smiled at her. “I do. Madly. Passionately. Devotedly.” He closed the gap between them and reached for her hands. “I should never have left you. And if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for it.”

  “You’re in love with me?” she asked again.

  “I am,” he said with a nod. “You’ve touched me more than I can ever say. Hope, you reached a part of my soul I thought was off limits. You make me want to be a better man. And Ella…she feels like she’s a part of me too. I didn’t help create her, but I want to raise her with you. I want her to be my daughter. And I know you might not want to take this chance on me. I hurt you. I let you down.” Grayson felt hot tears stinging his cheeks. “No matter where I go in this world I’m going to take my love for you and Ella with me.”

  Grayson was laying it all on the line, knowing he didn’t want to harbor any regrets down the road. “No matter what you decide, Hope, the love I feel for you won’t ever change.” He shook his head. “This whole journey has been filled with reminders from the past. Miss Hattie and Samuel loved each other so much, but their love was cut short. It serves as a reminder to hold on to love as tightly as we can. Because we never know if it will be ripped away from us.”

  Hope let out a sob. Her features crumpled and she began to softly cry. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”

  “I’m so sorry. I was always coming back to you, Hope. I just needed some time to vent.” Grayson’s heart constricted. The sight of Hope in tears was too much for him to bear. He reached out and touched her shoulder. “Hope. The last thing I ever want to do is make you cry.”

  She looked up at him, stunning him with the expression on her face. Grayson’s throat clogged up. He hoped he wasn’t imagined things. The look shimmering in her eyes looked a lot like love.

  “I need you, Grayson. I love you. I don’t think I really knew what loving a man felt like until you came crashing into my life. Everything I felt before seems meaningless.”

  “It means the world to me to hear you say that,” he said in a raspy voice. His chest felt tight. He thought his heart might burst with happiness. She loved him!

  Grayson knew the time had come for him to show Hope what he wanted for them. He got down on one knee and reached into his pocket for the red velvet box he’d been carrying around for over a week. He popped it open, revealing the stunning emerald-cut diamond with the infinity band of diamonds surrounding it.

  Hope gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Her eyes shone with tears.

  “Hope Matthews. Will you be my wife? My best friend? Will you allow me to shelter you from the storms of life and wake up next to you every morning? I promise to stand by your side, come what may. I’ll never forsake the love we share. I’ll never leave you again. And I promise to let you sleep in on Sunday mornings and make you breakfast in bed.”

  She couldn’t seem to take her eyes off the diamond ring.

  “Is that a yes?” Grayson asked. “Or are you just impressed with the ring?” he teased.

  “It’s a yes, Grayson. A big, resounding yes. Of course it is. I’ll marry you. Today. Tomorrow. Whenever.”

  Grayson stood up and reached for Hope’s finger. He slid the ring on, admiring the way it looked on her graceful finger. Once the ring was on, Grayson dipped his head down and placed a celebratory kiss on his fiancée’s lips. “Thank you, babe. For
having an open heart and being gracious enough to forgive me. And for agreeing to walk through life with me.”

  A sudden commotion broke out on the lawn. They looked over and spotted Callie, Charlotte, Olivia, Morgan and Fancy standing on the lawn wildly waving their hands and yelling.

  “Leave her alone!” Morgan shouted.

  “I can’t believe you came slithering back here,” Callie yelled.

  Hope hid her giggle behind her hand. Grayson looked down at her. “Slithering. Ouch.”

  “What’s going on, Hope? Why are you even speaking to him?” Olivia asked.

  Hope held up her ring finger. “He just put a ring on it. We’re getting married!”

  Pandemonium ensued. The ladies began running toward them shouting well wishes.

  As they were surrounded with a massive amount of love and congratulations, Hope and Grayson linked hands and shared a tender kiss. Grayson knew it didn’t get any better than this. Finally, he had found his way. He was home.

  Because of Hope, Grayson had learned so much about himself and what it meant to truly love someone. From this point forward, he would be sharing his life with the woman of his dreams and their daughter. Best of all, each day would be filled with Hope.

  EPILOGUE

  Christmas Eve- Tybee Island

  As Hope gazed up at the fully trimmed Christmas tree, a feeling of absolute contentment blossomed inside her. There wasn’t a single thing she would change about her life. Being Mrs. Grayson Holloway was her pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Anything she had endured in her past meant nothing to her now. Happiness was her true reward.

  Grayson stood beside her, holding Ella in his arms so she could get a great look at the tree and ornaments. Ella reached up to try and touch a shimmery ornament. Her eyes were wide with wonder.