He was sitting on his rock out on the hillside, with his blind eyes following the sun and the beard running white and old between his thin knees and down to the brown earth.
I sat down on a smaller rock before him and caught my breath.
"Well, Erik," I said. "I've come."
"I'm aware you have, Sam."
"By foot," I said. "By car and plane, too, but mostly by foot, as time goes. All the way from the lowlands by foot, Erik. And that's the last I do for any of them."
"For them, Sam?"
"For me, then."
"Nor for you, either, Sam," he said. And then he sighed. "Go back, Sam," he said.
"Go back!" I echoed. "Go back to hell again? No thank you, Erik."
"You faltered," he said. "You weakened. You began to slow down, to look around. There was no need to, Sam. If you hadn't started to slacken off, you would have been all right."
"All right? Do you call the kind of life I lead, that? What do you use for a heart, Erik?"
"A heart?" And with that he lowered his blind old eyes from the sun and turned them right on me. "Do you accuse me, Sam?"
"With you it's choice," I said. "You can go."
"No," he shook his head. "I'm bound by choice, just as you are bound by the greater strength in me. Go back, Sam."
"Why?" I cried. And I pounded my chest like a crazy man. "Why me? Why can others go and I have to stay? There's no end to the universe. I don't ask for company. I'll find some lost hole somewhere and bury myself. Anywhere, just so I'm away."
"Would you, Sam?" He asked. And at that, there was pity in his voice. When I did not answer, he went on, gently. "You see, Sam, that's exactly why I can't let you go. You're capable of deluding yourself, of telling yourself that you'll do what we both know you will not, cannot do. So you must stay."
"No," I said. "All right." I got up and turned to go. "I came to you first and gave you your chance. But now I'll go on my own, and I'll get off somehow."
"Sam, come back," he said. And abruptly, my legs were mine no longer.
"Sit down again," he said. "And listen for a minute."
My traitorous legs took me back, and I sat.
"Sam," he said, "you know the old story. Now and then, at rare intervals, one like us will be born. Nearly always, when they are grown, they leave. Only a few stay. But only once in thousands of years does one like yourself appear who must be chained against his will to our world."
"Erik," I said, between my teeth. "Don't sympathize."
"I'm not sympathizing, Sam," he said. "As you said yourself, there is no end to the universe, but I have seen it all and there is no place in it for you. For the others that have gone out, there are places that are no places. They sup at alien tables, Sam, but always and forever as a guest. They left themselves behind when they went and they don't belong any longer to our Earth."
He stopped for a moment, and I knew what was coming.
"But you, Sam," he said, and I heard his voice with my head bowed, staring at the brown dirt. He spoke tenderly. "Poor Sam. You'd never be able to leave the Earth behind. You're one of us, but the living cord binds you to the others. Never a man speaks to you, but your hands yearn toward him in friendship. Never a woman smiles your way, but love warms that frozen heart of yours. You can't leave them, Sam. If you went out now, you'd come back, in time, and try to take them with you. You'd hurry them on before they are ripe. And there's no place out there in the universe for them – yet."
I tried to move, but could not. Tried to lift my face to his, but I could not.
"Poor Sam," he said, "trapped by a common heart that chains the lightning of his brain. Go back, Sam. Go back to your cities and your people. Go back to a thousand little jobs, and the work that is no greater than theirs, but many times as much so that it drives you without a pause twenty, twenty-two hours a day. Go back, Sam, to your designing and your painting, to your music and your business, to your engineering and your landscaping, and all the other things. Go back and keep busy, so busy your brain fogs and you sleep without dreaming. And wait. Wait for the necessary years to pass until they grow and change and at last come to their destiny.
"When that time comes, Sam, they will go out. And you will go with them, blood of their blood, flesh of their flesh, kin and comrade to them all. You will be happier than any of us have ever been, when that time comes. But the years have still to pass, and now you must go back. Go back, Sam. Go back, go back, go back."
And so I have come back. O people that I hate and love!
Define intelligence . . . without defining yourself.
DOLPHIN'S WAY
Of course, there was no reason why a woman coming to Dolphin's Way – as the late Dr. Edwin Knight had named the island research station – should not be beautiful. But Mal had never expected such a thing to happen.
Castor and Pollux had not come to the station pool this morning. They might have left the station, as other wild dolphins had in the past – and Mal nowadays carried always with him the fear that the Willernie Foundation would seize on some excuse to cut off their funds for further research. Ever since Corwin Brayt had taken over, Mal had known this fear. Though Brayt had said nothing. It was only a feeling Mal got from the presence of the tall, cold man. So it was that Mal was out in front of the station, scanning the ocean when the water-taxi from the mainland brought the visitor.
She stepped out on the dock, as he stared down at her. She waved as if she knew him, and then climbed the stairs from the dock to the terrace in front of the door to the main building of the station.
"Hello," she said, smiling as she stopped in front of him. "You're Corwin Brayt?"
Mal was suddenly sharply conscious of his own lean and ordinary appearance in contrast to her startling beauty. She was brown-haired and tall for a girl – but these things did not describe her. There was a perfection to her – and her smile stirred him strangely.
"No," he said. "I'm Malcolm Sinclair. Corwin's inside."
"I'm Jane Wilson," she said. "Background Monthly sent me out to do a story on the dolphins. Do you work with them?"
"Yes," Mal said. "I started with Dr. Knight in the beginning."
"Oh, good," she said. "Then, you can tell me some things. You were here when Dr. Brayt took charge after Dr. Knight's death?"
"Mr. Brayt," he corrected automatically. "Yes." The emotion she moved in him was so deep and strong it seemed she must feel it too. But she gave no sign.
"Mr. Brayt?" she echoed. "Oh. How did the staff take to him?"
"Well," said Mal, wishing she would smile again, "everyone took to him."
"I see," she said. "He's a good research head?"
"A good administrator," said Mal. "He's not involved in the research end."
"He's not?" She stared at him. "But didn't he replace Dr. Knight, after Dr. Knight's death?"
"Why, yes," said Mal. He made an effort to bring his attention back to the conversation. He had never had a woman affect him like this before. "But just as administrator of the station, here. You see – most of our funds for work here come from the Willernie Foundation. They had faith in Dr. Knight, but when he died . . . well, they wanted someone of their own in charge. None of us mind."
"Willernie Foundation," she said. "I don't know it."
"It was set up by a man named Willernie, in St. Louis, Missouri," said Mal. "He made his money manufacturing kitchen utensils. When he died he left a trust and set up the Foundation to encourage basic research." Mal smiled. "Don't ask me how he got from kitchen utensils to that. That's not much information for you, is it?"
"It's more than I had a minute ago," she smiled back. "Did you know Corwin Brayt before he came here?"
"No." Mal shook his head. "I don't know many people outside the biological and zoological fields."
"I imagine you know him pretty well now, though, after the six months he's been in charge."
"Well –" Mal hesitated, "I wouldn't say I know him well, at all. You see, he's up here in the
office all day long and I'm down with Pollux and Castor – the two wild dolphins we've got coming to the station, now. Corwin and I don't see each other much."
"On this small island?"
"I suppose it seems funny – but we're both pretty busy."
"I guess you would be," she smiled again. "Will you take me to him?"
"Him?" Mal awoke suddenly to the fact they were still standing on the terrace. "Oh, yes – it's Corwin you came to see."
"Not just Corwin," she said. "I came to see the whole place."
"Well, I'll take you in to the office. Come along."
He led her across the terrace and in through the front door into the air-conditioned coolness of the interior. Corwin Brayt ran the air conditioning constantly, as if his own somewhat icy personality demanded the dry, distant coldness of a mountain atmosphere. Mal led Jane Wilson down a short corridor and through another door into a large wide-windowed office. A tall, slim, broad-shouldered man with black hair and a brown, coldly handsome face looked up from a large desk, and got to his feet on seeing Jane.
"Corwin," said Mal. "This is Miss Jane Wilson from Background Monthly."
"Yes," said Corwin expressionlessly to Jane, coming around the desk to them. "I got a wire yesterday you were coming." He did not wait for Jane to offer her hand, but offered his own. Their fingers met.
"I've got to be getting down to Castor and Pollux," said Mal, turning away.
"I'll see you later then," Jane said, looking over at him.
"Why, yes. Maybe –" he said. He went out. As he closed the door of Brayt's office behind him, he paused for a moment in the dim, cool hallway, and shut his eyes. Don't be a fool, he told himself, a girl like that can do a lot better than someone like you. And probably has already.
He opened his eyes and went back down to the pool behind the station and the nonhuman world of the dolphins.
When he got there, he found that Castor and Pollux were back. Their pool was an open one, with egress to the open blue waters of the Caribbean. In the first days of the research at Dolphin's Way, the dolphins had been confined in a closed pool like any captured wild animal. It was only later on, when the work at the station had come up against what Knight had called "the environmental barrier," that the notion was conceived of opening the pool to the sea, so that the dolphins they had been working with could leave or stay, as they wished.
They had left – but they had come back. Eventually, they had left for good. But strangely, wild dolphins had come from time to time to take their place, so that there were always dolphins at the station.
Castor and Pollux were the latest pair. They had showed up some four months ago after a single dolphin frequenting the station had disappeared. Free, independent – they had been most cooperative. But the barrier had not been breached.
Now, they were sliding back and forth past each other underwater utilizing the full thirty-yard length of the pool, passing beside, over, and under each other, their seven-foot, nearly identical bodies almost, but not quite, rubbing as they passed. The tape showed them to be talking together up in the supersonic range, eighty to a hundred and twenty kilocycles per second. Their pattern of movement in the water now was something he had never seen before. It was regular and ritualistic as a dance.
He sat down and put on the earphones connected to the hydrophones, underwater at each end of the pool. He spoke into the microphone, asking them about their movements, but they ignored him and kept on with the patterned swimming.
The sound of footsteps behind him made him turn.
He saw Jane Wilson approaching down the concrete steps from the back door of the station, with the stocky, overalled figure of Pete Adant, the station mechanic.
"Here he is," said Pete, as they came up. "I've got to get back, now."
"Thank you." She gave Pete the smile that had so moved Mal earlier. Pete turned and went back up the steps. She turned to Mal. "Am I interrupting something?"
"No. He took off the earphones. "I wasn't getting any answers, anyway."
She looked at the two dolphins in their underwater dance with the liquid surface swirling above them as they turned now this way, now that, just under it.
"Answers?" she said. He smiled a little ruefully.
"We call them answers," he, said. He nodded at the two smoothly streamlined shapes turning in the pool. "Sometimes we can ask questions and get responses."
"Informative responses?" she asked.
"Sometimes. You wanted to see me about something?"
"About everything," she said. "It seems you're the man I came to talk to – not Brayt. He sent me down here. I understand you're the one with the theory."
"Theory?" he said warily, feeling his heart sink inside him.
"The notion, then," she said. "The idea that, if there is some sort of interstellar civilization, it might be waiting for the people of Earth to qualify themselves before making contact. And that test might not be a technological one like developing a faster-than-light means of travel, but a sociological one –"
"Like learning to communicate with an alien culture – a culture like that of the dolphins," he interrupted harshly. "Corwin told you this?"
"I'd heard about it before I came," she said. "I'd thought it was Brayt's theory, though."
"No," said Mal, "it's mine." He looked at her. "You aren't laughing."
"Should I laugh?" she said. She was attentively watching the dolphins' movements. Suddenly he felt sharp jealousy of them for holding her attention; and the emotion pricked him to something he might not otherwise have had the courage to do.
"Fly over to the mainland with me," he said, "and have lunch. I'll tell you all about it."
"All right." She looked up from the dolphins at him at last and he was surprised to see her frowning. "There's a lot I don't understand," she murmured. "I thought it was Brayt I had to learn about. But it's you – and the dolphins."
"Maybe we can clear that up at lunch, too," Mal said, not quite clear what she meant, but not greatly caring, either. "Come on, the helicopters are around the north side of the building."
They flew a copter across to Carúpano, and sat down to lunch looking out at the shipping in the open roadstead of the azure sea before the town, while the polite Spanish of Venezuelan voices sounded from the tables around them.
"Why should I laugh at your theory?" she said again, when they were settled, and eating lunch.
"Most people take it to be a crackpot excuse for our failure at the station," he said.
Her brown arched brows rose. "Failure?" she said. "I thought you were making steady progress."
"Yes. And no," he said. "Even before Dr. Knight died, we ran into something he called the environmental barrier."
"Environmental barrier?"
"Yes." Mal poked with his fork at the shrimp in his seafood cocktail. "This work of ours all grew out of the work done by Dr. John Lilly. You read his book, Man and Dolphin?"
"No," she said. He looked at her, surprised.
"He was the pioneer in this research with dolphins," Mal said. "I'd have thought reading his book would have been the first thing you would have done before coming down here."
"The first thing I did," she said, "was try to find out something about Corwin Brayt. And I was pretty unsuccessful at that. That's why I landed here with the notion that it was he, not you, who was the real worker with the dolphins."
"That's why you asked me if I knew much about him?"
"That's right," she answered. "But tell me about this environmental barrier."
"There's not a great deal to tell," he said. "Like most big problems, it's simple enough to state. At first, in working with the dolphins, it seemed the early researchers were going great guns, and communication was just around the corner – a matter of interpreting the sounds they made to each other, in the humanly audible range and above it; and teaching the dolphins human speech."
"It turned out those things couldn't be done?"
"They could. They we
re done – or as nearly so as makes no difference. But then we came up against the fact that communication doesn't mean understanding." He looked at her. "You and I talk the same language, but do we really understand perfectly what the other person means when he speaks to us?"
She looked at him for a moment, and then slowly shook her head without taking her eyes off his face. "Well," said Mal, "that's essentially our problem with the dolphins – only on a much larger scale. Dolphins, like Castor and Pollux, can talk with me, and I with them, but we can't understand each other to any great degree."
"You mean intellectually understood, don't you?" Jane said. "Not just mechanically?"
"That's right," Mal answered. "We agree on denotation of an auditory or other symbol, but not on connotation. I can say to Castor, 'the Gulf Stream is a strong ocean current,' and he'll agree exactly. But neither of us really has the slightest idea of what the other really means. My mental image of the Gulf Stream is not Castor's image. My notion of 'powerful' is relative to the fact I'm six-feet tall, weigh a hundred and seventy-five pounds, and can lift my own weight against the force of gravity. Castor's is relative to the fact that he is seven feet long, can speed up to forty miles an hour through the water, and as far as he knows weighs nothing, since his four hundred pounds of body-weight are balanced out by the equal weight of the water he displaces. And the concept of lifting something is all but unknown to him. My mental abstraction of 'ocean' is not his, and our ideas of what a current is may coincide, or be literally worlds apart in meaning. And so far we've found no way of bridging the gap between us."
"The dolphins have been trying as well as you?"
"I believe so," said Mal. "But I can't prove it. Any more than I can really prove the dolphin's intelligence to hard-core skeptics until I can come up with something previously outside human knowledge that the dolphins have taught me. Or have them demonstrate that they've learned the use of some human intellectual process. And in these things we've all failed – because, as I believe and Dr. Knight believed, of the connotative gap, which is a result of the environmental barrier."
Gordon R. Dickson's SF Best Page 16