“Well, I definitely don’t regret her, so you’re right about that.”
I looked over at my daughter. Sunny smiled as if she could understand we were talking about her. I loved her little pumpkin face so much. She had the Peppa Pig Deacon had gotten her from the store in her hand and waved it around.
“That’s such a cute toy,” Simone said.
“My neighbor bought it for her.”
“The old lady across the hall?”
“No. Not crazy Mrs. Winsbanger. The guy in 5B.”
Her eyes widened. “The hot one we saw leaving the last time I visited you?”
“Yeah. Deacon.”
“He bought her a toy?”
I nodded. “He ran to the store for me a couple of weeks ago and bought that as a surprise. And that was after I scolded him for fucking someone too loudly the night before.”
Simone covered her mouth. “Oh shit. You scolded him?”
“Yeah. Kind of an embarrassing conversation, but he was really cool when I asked him if he could please keep it down.”
She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “I bet I know a way around that little problem.”
“What’s that?”
“He can keep you up in a different way—you know, on your side of the wall.” She winked. “You can’t complain if you’re the one getting the action.”
“Very funny.” I brushed off her joke, but I felt my insides heat up. It wasn’t like that hadn’t already occurred to me. Before I could explain why it wouldn’t be happening, she stood up.
“Anyway, I gotta run. I have a date tonight I have to get ready for. I’ll talk to Cynthia about the PR opening and let you know what I find out, okay?”
That gave me as much anxiety as excitement. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” I got up from my seat to hug her and watched as she kissed my daughter on the top of the head.
After Simone left, I fed Sunny a couple of jars of baby food at our table.
Later, as I bundled her up to get going, I spoke to her as I often did, even though she couldn’t talk back.
“What do you think? Would you be okay if I went back to work? I don’t want to leave you, but I also want to make sure I can take care of us.”
She cooed, and I kissed her forehead. “We’ll figure it out, right? We always do.”
* * *
That evening, as Sunny and I arrived at our building, we ran into Deacon and “a friend”—a fiery redhead. They were approaching from the opposite end of the block. I wondered if she was the same person from that night two weeks ago.
When Deacon spotted me, he lifted his hand. “Hey, Carys.”
“Hey!” I stopped the stroller in front of the entrance.
“Let me get the door for you guys,” he said.
Deacon held the door open as I pushed Sunny’s stroller through. I normally had to fold it and carry it up to the second floor in one hand, while I held the baby in the other. But as soon as I took her out, Deacon worked to collapse the stroller and carried it up the stairs for me while his date quietly followed.
“Thank you for your help,” I said, my voice echoing in the stairwell.
“Of course.” He smiled. When we arrived at our floor, he finally said, “This is Kendra.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said, feeling instantly jealous. I shouldn’t have, but I suppose I’d developed a crush on the guy.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Kendra said. “Your daughter is adorable.”
“Thank you.”
Once we got to our respective doors, Deacon leaned the stroller against the wall outside my apartment.
He noticed the toy in Sunny’s hand. “She likes the pig, huh?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “That was a good choice. Thank you.”
Kendra turned to him and gushed, “Aw…you bought that for her? That’s so sweet.”
“It was,” I said. “And it helped calm her down today.”
“What happened today?” Deacon asked, looking concerned.
“She had a doctor’s appointment.”
His eyes narrowed. “Everything okay? Is she sick?”
“Just a checkup.”
“All good?”
“Yes. Thanks for asking. She had to have a shot, so that’s always stressful. But it went fine.”
“Glad to hear.” He smiled. “Well…you guys have a good night. We’re just heading inside for a nice, quiet evening.” He winked. “Maybe play some Parcheesi.”
“Ah…well, you have fun with that. I have earplugs now in the event your Parcheesi gets rambunctious.”
He laughed. “Have a good night, Carys.”
“You, too.” I waved to Kendra. “Nice meeting you.”
“Same.” She grinned.
I swallowed my jealousy as I disappeared into my apartment.
* * *
Later that night, Sunny was inconsolable. She would not stop crying, and I cursed myself for letting her get that shot today. I’d called a nurse’s hotline, and they told me her fever of 102 was normal under the circumstances, and there was no need to take her to an emergency room. They said to monitor her and make sure she was getting enough fluids.
I’d brought her into my bedroom because I couldn’t leave her alone like this. I also thought holding her would help, but it didn’t seem to matter. Holding her only made me feel better.
Her wailing continued as I paced the room and rocked her. I’d never seen her like this before.
There was a knock at the door that I barely heard through her crying.
Shit. Had one of the neighbors complained? I didn’t need anyone’s wrath on top of this.
I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole.
It was Deacon. Remembering he had that girl over, I cringed. The roles had reversed. Now we were disturbing his peace.
When I opened, I started babbling away before he had a chance to say anything. “I know we’re disturbing you, but I can’t get her to stop crying. I’m really sorry. She has a fever from the shot, I think, and there’s nothing I can do. So, if you’re going to complain like I did to you, that would only be fair, but I can’t do anything about this, so—”
“Carys, calm down. It’s okay,” he said, placing his hands on my shoulders.
The unexpected contact shot what felt like an electric current through me, which stopped my rambling. I let out a long breath. “I can’t calm down. My baby is in pain.”
“I didn’t come here to complain. I would never do that. She clearly can’t help it.”
“Then why are you here?”
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
My heart softened, but I kept myself from getting carried away. “You don’t have to check on me, Deacon.”
“I know that. I wanted to. There’s likely nothing I can do, but I can’t listen to a baby screaming for two hours straight and not offer help.”
It dawned on me that Deacon had left that chick to come over here. Kendra.
“Where’s Kendra?”
“She went back to her place.”
“She left because of the noise?”
“She…had to get up for work early in the morning, so she went home to sleep.”
“Sunny totally cockblocked you tonight. I’m sorry.”
I really wasn’t.
He waved his hand dismissively. “It’s alright.”
“When this is over, you can get me back—fuck someone’s brains out nice and loud.”
I’d expected him to laugh, but instead he looked at me with concern. I immediately wished I could take my crass joke back.
“Did you try giving her a cool bath? I’m no expert, but wouldn’t that bring the fever down? I remember my mother doing that for my brother when he was small and had a temperature.”
It seemed so obvious, but it hadn’t occurred to me—or to the damn nurses I’d talked to apparently. “You know what? That’s a good idea. I think I’ll go start a bath right now. Do you mind holding her while
I run to the bathroom and set it up?”
Deacon looked anxiously around the room. Was he trying to come up with a reason not to take her from me? “Uh…sure,” he finally said.
I handed Sunny to him and took a few seconds to admire how cute it was to see Deacon holding her, bouncing her up and down gently.
I rushed to the bathroom, not wanting to freak him out too much. I’d already disrupted his night enough. Running water in the tub, I tested the temperature, so it was cool but not too cold. When I finally shut off the faucet, I noticed something odd: silence.
For the first time all night. Sunny wasn’t crying. My first instinct was to be alarmed. Had she passed out?
I darted back out to the living room, but before I could utter a word, Deacon held his index finger to his mouth.
“She just fell asleep,” he whispered.
Somehow, I was still concerned. “Are you sure she’s breathing?”
“I’m positive. I can feel it and hear it.” He swayed from side to side. “I’m afraid to stop this motion, because that’s how I got her to sleep.”
As I watched him rock her back and forth, my ovaries felt like they were about to explode. This man was sexy when he wasn’t holding a baby. Now? Off the charts.
“I don’t get why I couldn’t get her to sleep, and then you hold her for five minutes…”
“Can’t say I understand it, either.” Looking down at her, he said, “I gotta be honest, though. I kinda wanted to run for the hills when you first asked me to take her. But she made it easy.” Deacon shrugged. “Not bad for my first time holding a baby, huh?”
My mouth fell agape. “Ever? You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.” He laughed.
“That figures.”
She looked so comfy in his big arms. No wonder she’d fallen asleep. It must have been like lying in a warm, king-size bed compared to the usual fold-out cot with uncomfortable springs.
“I think you’ll be okay if you stop rocking. Normally, once she’s asleep, she stays asleep.”
His voice was low. “Should I put her down?”
I’d enjoyed watching him hold her too much to suggest that myself.
“Let’s try putting her in the crib, yeah.”
Deacon followed me to Sunny’s room. He carefully placed her on the mattress, and at first it seemed he’d been successful.
We tiptoed out of the room, seemingly in the clear until we heard rustling.
Shit!
And there was the crying again.
“Damn it,” he groaned. “I thought I was careful.”
“You were. Not your fault. She somehow sensed it. The same thing’s happened to me before. She must be super sensitive tonight because she’s sick.”
I went in to get her, but once again, she wouldn’t stop crying. It was just as it had been before.
“Should I try rocking her again?” he asked.
“I can’t make you do that. This is not your—”
“It’s no problem, Carys. Honestly.”
Deacon held out his hands, and I placed her in his arms again. He walked back out into the living room and this time sat down on the edge of couch, still rocking.
Slowly but surely, over the next several minutes, her crying slowed until it was non-existent. Sunny fell asleep again in her king-size bed.
I shook my head in amazement. “She definitely likes being in your arms.”
He smiled down at her. “Anything you want to do, go do it. Because I don’t think I’m getting up anytime soon.”
“You can’t just sit there with her all night.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s late. Don’t you have to sleep yourself?”
“Sleep is overrated. Plus, don’t forget I work from home, so I can sleep in tomorrow if I need to and catch up on work later.”
After sweating from nerves all night, I needed a shower badly. I normally bathed each night before bed, but with Sunny being upset, I hadn’t been able to. Would it be terrible if I took him up on his offer? I hated feeling like a charity case, but if he wasn’t going anywhere for a bit, why not take advantage?
“I’m just gonna take a quick shower, if that’s okay?”
“Take your time. Don’t rush. I’ll be here.”
Despite his words, I couldn’t relax in the shower. So I washed my hair and rubbed the soap over my body swiftly. I did, however, take the time to properly brush through my wet hair after, and I dabbed a bit of concealer under my eyes to get rid of the dark circles. I wanted to look good in front of Deacon, even if that was difficult to admit, and even if nothing would come of it. There was an extremely attractive man in my apartment, and if I had the opportunity not to look my worst, I was going to take it. It wasn’t like I’d been planning for him to come over tonight.
Before I ventured back out into the living room, I peeked out my bedroom door so I could properly enjoy the sight of Deacon holding Sunny without him noticing the look of swoon on my face.
CHAPTER 3
Deacon
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT
I was pretty sure my balls had fallen asleep. Or if not fully asleep, they were definitely numb from lack of movement. Not wanting this baby to wake up again, I hadn’t moved an inch the entire time Carys was in the shower.
How did I get myself into this situation?
Oh yeah. I’d felt bad for Carys and wanted to show my concern. I never thought I’d actually be able to help. Because shit, what the hell did I know about babies? Absolutely nothing. And I’d always thought it was better that things stayed that way. Such a huge responsibility. The last thing I expected was to be comfortable holding her, or that she’d actually want me to. Apparently this little one liked me for some reason.
When Carys came back out, I nearly did a doubletake. Her long, straight, strawberry-blond hair was down and towel-dried. I’d never seen her hair down before. She typically had it tied up, which was also nice because she had a beautiful neck. She wore a short nightgown that clung to her petite frame. Carys was attractive in a graceful way. It had come as no surprise that she’d been a ballet dancer, though normally she didn’t show off her body. And why should she? Taking care of her daughter was her priority. It wasn’t like she needed to impress anyone.
But damn. It felt kind of wrong to be checking her out under the circumstances. From the moment I met her, I’d thought she was hot. But the fact that she’s someone’s mother automatically made her off limits.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Perfect.” I whispered. “Aside from the fact that my ass has that pins-and-needles feeling from not moving. But I’m afraid if I hand her to you, she’ll wake up.”
She laughed. “You’re a saint, Deacon. Feel free to pass her off to me any time, even if she does wake up. You have no responsibility to stay.”
Maybe not, but I didn’t want Sunny to start crying again. At least one of us—Sunny—was getting sleep in the current situation.
Carys sat across from me on the couch.
She looked down at her baby. “I still can’t get over the fact that you hadn’t even held a baby before, and you nailed it on your first try.”
“Eh. She makes it too easy for me. Unfair advantage.”
Carys smiled. It was nice to see that she’d relaxed a bit. She’d seemed really tense earlier tonight when I’d helped her up the stairs, and that was before any of this crying stuff happened. Come to think of it, Carys seemed wound up most of the time. Not that I blamed her. She had her plate full.
She really did have a pretty smile. And I really needed to stop noticing that. This girl might as well have had a sign on her face that read: Don’t even think about it. I wouldn’t be dating anyone who had a kid; children were not in the cards for me. It would be bad enough to inevitably fuck up a relationship with someone who lived next door, but to have a child involved who might be hurt when you left? No, thank you. No matter how damn cute—or intriguing—Carys was, I wouldn’t be going
there.
She fascinated me, though. Even before I knew anything about her, I’d had the sense that there was more to her than met the eye. Something in her eyes, maybe—they were always trying to tell a story. For a long time, I couldn’t put my finger on it. But when I saw that photo from her ballet days, it started to make sense. Her life as she knew it had been cut short by a traumatic event.
I could relate to that. Maybe I’d somehow sensed we had that in common. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to her the moment I looked into her eyes.
I wanted to know more about her past, but I didn’t want to pry.
She caught me a bit off guard when she did some prying of her own.
“So…how many women do you date at once? I hear them over at your apartment from time to time, but I don’t know if they’re the same ones or different people.”
“Don’t hold back,” I said, eyes widening.
She blushed. “Sorry if I’m being nosy. I’m just curious.”
“I’m kidding. It’s alright.” I sighed and shrugged. “I date around. I’m not gonna lie. But I don’t sleep with all of them, as you’re probably assuming. Contrary to popular belief, it gets a bit exhausting.”
She pursed her lips. “Hmm... It’s interesting you say that.”
“Why?”
“I notice that you… Well…” she hesitated.
What is she getting at? “I what?”
“When I’ve…overheard things…”
“Yeah?” I prodded.
“I’ve noticed that you last a long time. I sometimes wonder if that’s stamina or—”
“Boredom?” I laughed.
“Yes. I suppose.”
I nodded. “Okay. Truth? That can be due to a lack of interest sometimes. Humans are not machines. I like sex—love it with the right person. But there are times when I’m not in the mood, or the chemistry wasn’t what I thought it was going to be.”
“Sorry for all the questions. I’m just living vicariously through someone who actually has a sex life.”
The Anti-Boyfriend Page 3