The Anti-Boyfriend

by Ward, Penelope

  “Stop that. I almost lost it.” He laughed over my lips.

  So naturally, I squeezed tighter.

  “You’re so bad. Just for that, I need to fuck you harder.”

  Spreading my legs wider, Deacon pumped in and out me so hard I was sure I was going to come any second. I held my breath, hoping I could prolong this a bit more. He took my nipple between his teeth, and I nearly lost it.

  Then he brought his mouth to mine, kissing me forcefully. This was so different from the first time we’d “experimented.” To be able to have all of him, to taste him, smell him, feel him inside of me, and most of all, to know I was causing him so much pleasure amplified my own arousal tenfold.

  Deacon abruptly slowed down, his chest heaving over me as his kisses slowed. I continued to throb, craving more as he tried to prolong the inevitable. His hair was a tousled mess. I loved him so out of control, knowing I was the cause of it.

  Slowly but surely, his movements quickened again, and his balls slapped hard against my ass. I moved my hips to match the intensity, and my muscles contracted as I suddenly orgasmed.

  “I’m coming,” I breathed, surrendering to the loss of control. “Oh my God, Deacon.”

  “Thank fuck.” Deacon trembled as he finally allowed himself to let go, rocking into me deeply as he climaxed. I could feel the warmth of his cum through the condom as he let out a loud groan that echoed through the bedroom.

  Our movements finally slowed, and I wished he could have stayed inside of me forever. After we came down from the high, he slowly pulled out, leaving a chill in his wake.

  He kissed me on the nose. “Be right back.”

  Still in a hazy delirium, I admired his sculpted, naked body as he got up to discard the condom.

  What is this life?

  Deacon just fucked me—hard.

  And he wasn’t leaving?

  It felt like the best dream ever. I never wanted to wake up.

  He returned to the bed and nuzzled his nose in my neck. “I don’t want to spend the night away from you. Can I come over?”

  “I have a better idea.” Grabbing my phone, I searched for Sharon’s name and texted her.

  Carys: Is the offer to have you stay the night still open?

  A few seconds later, she responded.

  Sharon: Yes. No need to explain. Your walls are thin. ;-)

  Oops. I couldn’t even be mortified right now because the euphoria made it impossible to feel anything but over the moon.

  * * *

  The following morning, the sun streamed into Deacon’s bedroom window. I woke to the sight of him staring at me from a few inches away. How long had he been watching me sleep?

  “Did last night really happen?” I asked.

  He leaned in to kiss my nose. “It did.”

  “And you’re not leaving?”

  “How could I leave you after what we did last night?” He pulled me closer, his rigid dick against my leg. “I’m gonna need more of it, Carys, so much more of you. Every damn day.”

  Now that I’d come out of my sex-induced fog a little, I managed to pose a legitimate question. “As amazing as last night was, I guess I’m a little wary of how fast you changed your mind about leaving. Like, could it change again when sanity hits?”

  He closed his eyes and nodded, seeming to understand my concern. “The thing is, it wasn’t as sudden a decision as you think. Like I told you last night, from the moment I accepted the offer, I wondered if I was making a mistake. I’ve told you before that I wrestle with my feelings for you. I’ve wanted to be with you, but worried I wasn’t right for you and Sunny. I’ve made mistakes I don’t want to repeat…”

  He paused and rubbed his hand over his face. “This isn’t coming out the right way. Seeing you cry outside the party—that was my tipping point. That’s what I needed to take a chance on what my heart has been telling me all along. I don’t want to hurt you. I want us to be happy. That’s what I’ve always wanted.”

  That sounded great, but my disbelief remained. “What are you gonna say to your job?”

  He sighed. “I’m gonna tell them the truth—that I made a mistake, that I mistakenly thought I could leave the people I care about behind. They deserve someone who can give them his all, not someone who’s pining over a woman and regretting every second he’s away from her. There are plenty of people lining up for that position, don’t worry. The company will be okay.” A slight look of doubt crossed his face. “And if they give me shit, I’ll find another job. I’m banking on not having to do that, though.”

  “What about this apartment? Did the landlord already give it to someone else?”

  “I have no idea. Should that matter?”

  “Hell no. I was just wondering.”

  “Hopefully, I can get it back. If not, I think I might know someone who’ll let me crash until I can find a place?”

  The idea of Deacon moving in gave me a momentary thrill, though it was way too soon for that. I didn’t want to get my hopes up about any of this.

  I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’m still wrapping my head around this. I can’t believe you’re staying.”

  He placed his hand on my chin. “Promise me something.”

  “What?”

  “We’re gonna spend time getting to know each other even better. Once a week, I want us to get a sitter—I’ll pay for it. I want us to go out and spend time alone, just the two of us, even if it’s only an hour or two.”

  “I would love that.”

  He placed his hand behind my head and brought me in for a kiss, our naked bodies pressed together. He was so hard.

  I could faintly hear Sunny next door. Even though I was just beyond the wall, being holed up in Deacon’s apartment made me feel a world away.

  Deacon lowered his hand, placing it behind my ass, his erection still hot against my leg. “I probably need to give Sunny back her mom soon, but I don’t want to let you leave this bed.”

  “I do have to get going. Sharon has to head home.” I brushed my thumb across his gorgeous lips. “Will you come over today?”

  “How about I go get us breakfast and bring it to your place?”

  “I would love that. That’s nice of you.”

  “Not really. I have an ulterior motive.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Feed my girl so she has energy when I have my way with her again later while Sunny’s napping.”

  My girl. He had no clue what hearing that did to me. “Don’t worry. I’m nowhere near worn out.”

  “Good, because I’m nowhere near done with you.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Deacon

  SAY MY NAME

  Three weeks since I’d decided to stay in New York, and there wasn’t a single moment I’d regretted my decision. I felt like the luckiest guy on Earth. I’d managed to keep my old job, despite fucking management over with my last-minute one-eighty. I got to keep my apartment because my landlord hadn’t given it to anyone else yet. But most of all, I’d managed to snag the girl of my dreams, somehow pushing aside my fears enough to allow myself to be with her.

  Carys found a new sitter who watched Sunny for a few hours every weekend so the two of us could have a date. My alone time with her was precious.

  Today was a day date, and it had been epic. We went to a diner for breakfast and talked in the window seat over waffles and endless cups of coffee. It was a rainy morning in New York City, so we were spending the last hour of our alone time at my apartment before she had to go back next door.

  And I’d just returned from the bathroom to a sight better than anything my imagination could have conjured up.

  Carys was stark naked in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom. And she was dancing. Dancing so gracefully, like the ballerina she was. With her heels together, she lifted her arms above her head. Then she raised herself up on her toes as if they easily carried the weight of her body. She landed on her heels briefly before her right leg flew into the air. Then she spun. Naked fucki
ng ballet starring Carys Kincaid was the best damn thing I’d seen all year—maybe in my entire life.

  She jumped when she noticed me watching her in the mirror, placing her hand over her chest. “Oh my God. You scared me.”

  “That was fucking amazing,” I said, entering the room.

  “You came back faster than I thought you would. Otherwise I wouldn’t have—”

  “I know. That’s what’s so amazing about it, getting to see you in your natural element.” I slid my hand down the smooth skin of her back. “You’re beautiful and brave. I wish I could’ve seen you dance on stage, but seeing you dance like this? Naked in my room? That’s the stuff dreams are made of.”

  She got up on her tippy toes to kiss me. I loved that she wasn’t rushing to put clothes on, that she was comfortable baring herself in front of me.

  “I would’ve loved to see you play football,” she said. “I know how painful it is for you to even think about those days, but I bet you were incredible in action.”

  I sighed. “I wish I could go back to playing casually. Just because something stops your professional career doesn’t mean you can’t ever do it again—I get that. But every time I’ve considered returning to it for fun, I chicken out. I haven’t touched a football in years. On some level, though, I know figuring out a way to play would be good for me. It’d be therapeutic.” I brought her lips to mine. “Maybe someday I’ll get there. You motivate me.”

  Carys grabbed my ass. “I can imagine how sexy you looked all suited up in that gear, too.”

  I still had my old jersey tucked away in a box at the back of my closet. It was the one memento I’d kept and taken with me everywhere I moved. I walked over to my closet and located the box. When I took out the royal blue jersey, my heart raced. I hadn’t so much as touched the fabric since the day I’d put it away nearly a decade ago. Seeing my number and Mathers written across the back gave me chills.

  Carys’s jaw dropped. “Oh my God. Is that—”

  Still looking down at it, I nodded. “My jersey.”

  “Number eight.”

  I sighed. “Yep.”

  Slipping it over my head, I quickly realized it was a little tight. I’d bulked up a bit in muscle since college. I looked at myself in the mirror for a while. Carys stood next to me, still gloriously naked. I was almost a foot taller than her.

  She moved behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I know it wasn’t easy for you to put that on.”

  “Well, you’ve inspired me. You always do.” I turned around to face her.

  She flashed an impish grin. “Seeing you in this shirt is turning me on a little.”

  My brow lifted. “Yeah?” I pressed my chest into her naked body. “You want to fuck the quarterback, you dirty girl?”

  “Actually, yeah. I do. Only if he’s you.”

  I lowered my hands to her pussy and circled her opening with my fingers. “Holy fuck. You’re wet.”

  Her cheeks flushed. “It doesn’t take much with you.”

  My dick felt ready to explode, and I wasn’t even inside her yet. I’d never been as insatiable in my life as I’d been the past few weeks with her. This moment might have been the pinnacle.

  She slipped her hands up through my shirt as I continued to finger her, devouring her lips. With every moan, I got harder until I couldn’t take it anymore. We collapsed onto the bed. We’d had sex a half-hour ago, but I needed her again.

  I fished a condom out of the drawer as fast as I could and sheathed my engorged shaft, so eager to slip inside of her.

  I nearly came the second I felt her hot, tight pussy wrap around my cock.

  Even though I was conscious of the sitter next door, I couldn’t help myself as I thrust in and out of Carys, causing the bed to creak and the headboard to bang against the wall. It would be a while before I got to do this again—at least until tonight—and that wouldn’t be soon enough. What can I say? We were making up for lost time.

  “Deacon,” she panted as I rammed into her.

  I fucking loved when she said my name while I was inside of her. I loved when she said anything at all during sex. She wasn’t always vocal, but when she was, it put me over the edge.

  “Say my name again.”

  “Deacon.”

  “Again.” I thrust into her harder. “Say my fucking name.”

  “Deacon…Deacon…Deacon.”

  “Fuck, Carys. What am I gonna do with you? I want you all freaking day.”

  She grabbed my ass and pushed me deeper. “Take me whenever you want me.”

  At that, I lost it. I shot my load prematurely, something that hadn’t happened since high school. But lately it had been happening quite a bit.

  “Shit. I’m sorry. I just can’t control it with you sometimes.”

  “It’s okay. I love it when you lose control.”

  When my breathing finally calmed, I turned to her. “I might need a shot to calm myself down, like the opposite of Viagra.”

  “Do you hear me complaining?” She flashed me the most adorable smile.

  Since I’d come before Carys had a chance to finish, I pulled out and buried my head between her legs, bringing her to orgasm with my mouth a few minutes later.

  After, we lay across from each other, savoring the final moments of alone time.

  Holding her close, I confessed, “I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. Thank you for making it impossible to resist you, so I didn’t make a huge mistake by going to Tokyo.”

  “You make me happy. But you scare me, too,” she admitted.

  I nodded, feeling my heart squeeze. I’d given her every reason to be scared, because I’d told her I was destined to fuck up. I vowed to do everything in my power to not let that happen, though.

  “I know I scare you. And that’s mostly my fault. I haven’t been in a relationship since I was in college. I hadn’t wanted to be in one until I found you. You’ve changed me. You make me want to be a better man. I still don’t trust myself. It comes from years of self-doubt, but those are my issues and have no bearing on how I feel about you.”

  Carys looked deep in thought. “We’re all fucked-up in different ways, Deacon. I never planned on being in another relationship. I had all but written it off. So in a sense, we’re both learning as we go here.”

  I smiled, her words warming me, making me feel like I didn’t need to have all the answers right now. “I’ve spent way too much time sabotaging myself by worrying about the future. Let’s just take one day at a time. I promise you I’ll do everything in my power not to hurt you.”

  “It’s not me I’m worried about. You know that, right?”

  Sunny. I nodded. “I know.”

  She grabbed my hand and locked my fingers with hers. “But you’re right… Let’s take it one day at a time.”

  * * *

  Carys returned to her apartment around two in the afternoon, and I went to the gym to burn off some energy. Then I met Adrian at the Starbucks near my apartment. We hadn’t seen each other since the goodbye party he’d thrown me almost a month ago—a wasted effort.

  He smiled from ear to ear as he watched me approach the table with my cappuccino.

  “What’s that look?” I asked, sliding my chair out.

  “Nothing. Just happy to see you and curious to hear what you’ve been up to.” He snickered.

  “You mean you’re curious about me falling off the deep end for a woman.”

  “I never thought I’d see the day, man.”

  “Yeah, well…it happened.” I took a sip, smiling behind my cup.

  “I knew the second I met her that you weren’t gonna let her go.”

  I squinted. “You did?”

  “When I saw what she looked like, I knew you were in trouble. But the way you ran over there when that dude was talking to her at the party? That sealed the deal. I was like, how is this man gonna move halfway around the world when he’s clearly in love with this girl?” He chuckled. “Then you left your own damn p
arty to chase after her.”

  In love, huh? He’d just put a label on my feelings for Carys. I knew that was the official name for what I’d been feeling, but I hadn’t acknowledged it—not to myself or anyone else, least of all Carys. Maybe it was time I did.

  “I’m glad I saw things clearly before I moved to Japan.”

  “So, what does this mean—you guys shacking up yet?”

  “No. I was able to keep my apartment. And we’re taking things slow, trying to get to know each other on a deeper level.”

  He wriggled his brows. “I bet.”

  “Yeah, that too. Lots of that. But we have time set aside to go out and be alone together. It’s not easy, so we make the best of whatever time we get.”

  “So…if you don’t mind my asking, what the hell changed?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You said before that you never wanted to get involved with someone who had a kid, that you didn’t want to be a father. Your feelings for Carys changed that? Like she has a magical pussy that makes you want to have kids?”

  That made me cringe. And he’d just touched on my sore spot, the one thing eating away at me, the thing that made it impossible to fully exhale when it came to my relationship with Carys. I’d learned to appreciate Sunny in my life, but the fear of being responsible for her, of somehow letting her down, still paralyzed me. But the selfish part of me didn’t want to face my doubts right now—because I enjoyed being with Carys too much.

  “I’m still working through that part,” I answered.

  I wasn’t about to delve into all this with Adrian right now—or ever, really. This day had been perfect, and I wanted to keep it that way.

  “I care about Sunny a lot,” I said. “And I want what’s best for her. Time will tell if what’s best for her…is me.”

  “Okay, fair enough. I’ll stop prying. I just don’t want to see you getting in over your head.”

  “I get it. Thank you for your concern,” I said. “I’m just going to try to be honest with her every step of the way.”